"Finn!" Rachel screamed just as Quinn entered the house. She held back at the doorway, uncertain of what she should do.
"It's not what you think Rachel, really, please you have to stop."
"So you weren't just playing 7 minutes with Charlie, you weren't playing a game you'd told me not to get involved in, you weren't just locked in a closet in the dark with a girl that I've had to watch pawing you all night?"
"I uh, well, yeah I spose."
"Rachel, really you don't need to be so uptight it was just a bit of fun." Quinn figured the strange voice must belong to Charlie.
"Don't." Rachel barked and Quinn couldn't miss the pain in her voice, she moved out of the doorway, seeking out a need to comfort her friend, but her chest pulled when she walked into the room only to see Rachel in Finn's arms, his big man hands stoking her hair.
"Rachel please." The boy pleaded and Quinn had a sudden sensation to throw up when she saw Rachel pull her head off his chest and look up at the boy all doe eyed.
"You promise? Nothing happened?"
"No, of course it didn't. I'm getting married and I love you."
"Oh Finn." Rachel fell back against his chest and Quinn watched on opened mouthed, then a set of brown eyes locked with hers and she saw a strange expression flick across Rachel's face. One she could only describe as guilt, but then she dismissed the thought, assuming she was just projecting the emotion onto the girl, she turned on her heel and found the tequila bottle she'd taken from Rachel earlier and climbed the staircase to Puck's room.
She heard a light tap at the door a few minutes later.
"Hey Q, you okay?" Puck sat down on the bed next to her.
"Yeah, you know." She shrugged and put the bottle to her mouth, letting the liquid erase her pain.
"I'm sorry, I really thought seven minutes was gonna work. How does he come out smelling so sweet all the time?"
"You know he told her she couldn't play? He can't leave her to live, but it's okay for him to have fun. It makes me sick, I just wish she could see it, in five years she'll be at home washing dishes and minding the kids while he sits at the bar reminiscing about his high school football days."
"I'll probably be sat with him." Puck said flatly before turning to her. "If I can see it, then Rachel can too. She's confused. Quinn, I can see you care a lot about her, um, look if you wanna talk?"
Quinn looked at him curiously and then she realized what he meant. "Oh!" she exclaimed nervously. "No, uh, I think I'd rather sit here in denial with my old friend tequila."
"Sure. I mean I know it's kinda awkward and shit, but I'm your bro, if you need me?"
"Thanks Noah."
"Noah! You sound like Rachel. She's hot you know, I don't blame you. The thought of the two of you together, well it kinda blows my mind."
"I really don't need to know and I did say denial?"
"Yeah well, denial is going to eat you up and tequila is going to make you sick, so whenever you want to move out of that place let me know. If it helps I think she likes you."
"She does, I'm the best friend she could ever ask for. I need to be that for her, I don't need to confuse this with these new feelings. I'm just not used to being close to someone, its just a silly crush or something. Sure it'll wear off soon."
"Not that new though is it?" Puck threw the last comment over his shoulder as he left the room, she looked up, ready to reply but he was gone and she really didn't have an answer to that right now.
xoxo
The door creaked open again a few minutes later and Rachel's head tentatively made its way through the gap.
"Come in." Quinn was now spreadeagled on the bed, staring at the ceiling just as she'd been doing for the last however many minutes.
Rachel sat down on the edge of the bed and took Quinn's hand in hers, Quinn closed her eyes at the gesture and swallowed down the lump that formed in her throat.
"Puck told me you were feeling a bit down, so I thought I should come find you. Do you want to go home? I could get Finn to drive you?"
"No, it's okay, I'll probably just stay here tonight."
"Stay here? No." Rachel was a little shocked. "You can't."
"Why not? No one cares where I am."
"I care, remember."
"You go back to your boyfriend, sorry I meant fiancé."
"Why do you have to be so difficult about this?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe because its a stupid idea, a silly thing to do when you're so young and when the guy you're with is a complete douche bag that only cares about himself. He only wants you around so he feels good, he doesn't care about your dreams, he doesn't..."
"Stop! That's enough." Rachel stood up but Quinn couldn't help herself.
"Rachel, you're so much better than this, you have a chance, you've got to take it and not let Finn hold you back. God I don't know what happened to you? What happened to the girl that used to drive me crazy because she walked around proud of her hopes and dreams?"
"She grew up and strangely you seem to want to hang out with me now, but back then..."
"I was an idiot, I thought I was going to be stuck here and I hated that you'd leave me, I hated everything, but you showed me that I could dream and that my life wasn't a waste and my destiny was more than just a pretty face. You, you told me that."
"Finn is my boyfriend."
"Finn is an idiot."
"I'm leaving."
"Fine, go, see if I care."
Rachel stormed out of the room and Quinn sat up slowly, the tears falling freely.
"He doesn't care about you, not like I do, not like me Rachel, why can't you see it?" she choked out to the empty room. Her feelings had finally got the better of her, sure the tequila probably had a bit to answer for, she cried and it all fell out, everything she'd been holding in for years. Her life, her parents, her daughter, her ex-boyfriend, her fights with Rachel, her hugs with Rachel, her everything. She couldn't hold it together any longer. She didn't go after Rachel, she didn't have the fight in her anymore. She lay there and stared at the ceiling some more, listening to the sounds around her.
xoxo
It was early when Quinn woke, she could see the sun breaking through the blinds, she squinted a little, unsure of her surroundings. When she realized where she was she sat bolt upright, relieved to find she was alone and had not made some stupid mistake. Her head hurt, but not as much as her heart, the memories of the night before came flooding back. She felt guilty for fighting with Rachel, but mostly she felt so confused about what she felt for the other girl. This most definitely hadn't been part of the plan.
"Morning." Puck pulled out a chair for her as she entered the kitchen.
"This place is a mess. You want a hand?"
"That'd be awesome, how you feeling? I can cook you some bacon if you want?"
"I would so love that."
"And Rachel?"
"We had a fight, I passed out. Did she stay long after?"
"She got Kurt and Blaine to drive her home, Finn had been drinking even though he was designated driver and she was a little upset, I figured it was to do with you, guessed you needed some alone time, so cleared everyone out soon after."
"I've no idea what I'm going to do about all this mess. Shit why does it have to be her?"
"Love is crazy shit right." Puck shrugged, a grin fixed firmly to his face.
"Love? Oh god." Quinn fell back against the chair, lifting the back of her hand to her forehead dramatically. "I'm so screwed, now cook me bacon!"
"Yes, ma'am"
"I should call her."
"You should eat breakfast, tell me all your dirty secrets and play it cool. Girls like it when you ignore them."
"I'm calling."
"Quinn, you need to trust me on this."
She put her phone down on the counter and he smiled at her, happy he'd got his way. Puck cooked breakfast and she sneakily sent Rachel a text. She wasn't about to take advice from Puck and Rachel was still her friend, it was perfectly normal to check to see if she was all right and she reasoned that it was also perfectly normal to ask her to spend the day with her so that she could make amends.
xoxo
Rachel had woken with a mild headache and a heavy heart. She'd drank a lot, but her head was full of two memories. Finn being an ass and Quinn being everything. Something happened out in the yard, she knew it, she could feel a tension and then Quinn was moving closer, but she couldn't have been right? There was no way Quinn would do that, not with her, the thought of it left her head spinning. When she walked out of Puck's room she'd rested against the door, she hadn't meant to get mad with Quinn and was trying to catch her breath before she went back in and tried to fix things, but then she heard Quinn.
"He doesn't care about you, not like I do, not like me Rachel, why can't you see it?"
The words kept spinning around her head, she had no idea what she was trying to make out of them. Everything was too confusing.
When she returned to the party, she was met by an apologetic Finn, but she didn't want to deal with him. Thankfully Kurt had been happy enough to take her home. She'd never felt more relief than to get out of that place. Finn was Finn, she believed him, but somehow it didn't seem enough, her doubts had all appeared in one go and now she couldn't just dismiss them. What she needed was her best friend to talk to, but she was in a drunken stupor on Pucks bed. She tried to stop thinking and headed downstairs for breakfast.
"How was last night?" Leroy asked her as he put a coffee down in front of her.
"Complicated."
"As complicated as this secret engagement that your Daddy told me about? Because I'm thinking thats a real mess of complications. I hear Quinn agrees."
"Quinn and I had a fight. She thinks Finn's an idiot and the whole idea is stupid."
"I like Quinn, she should come to dinner."
Rachel rolled her eyes at her Dad "I'm not sure I'm even talking to her."
"Oh come on Rachel, being friends with her...well, its made you smile the most I've ever seen, I think the two of you will work it out."
"She's..." Rachel didn't know what else to say. "I guess, we'd both been drinking and I think maybe..."
"I'm going to ignore the drinking part. Just don't fall out over a boy, it's never worth it."
"It's Finn, I love him Dad and one day I'm going to marry him."
"You shouldn't be making these choices now, you're too young, you know all this though Rachel. I know you and right now, its just not what I expected from you. It's as if you are creating a backup plan in case your dreams don't work out, but somehow that backup plan is taking over and stopping you from even trying to achieve those dreams." Leroy sighed and sat down next to her. "Jeez this is all too confusing. Just don't rush into anything, but know we both love you, no matter what you choose, you'll have our support."
"Thanks Dad." She slumped back and let his words wash over her, he was right of course, she knew it. Finn was a safety net, a great big safety net.
She hadn't even been thinking much of him this morning, it was Quinn that she wanted to make things right with. She wasn't sure what she would say to her, but didn't have to think too hard when a text came through to her phone.
Sorry about last night, I drank too much and was rude. Let me make it up to you? Mall? Movies? My treat Q x
"Your smile is going to blind me!" Leroy pretended to cover his eyes. "Finn has made the world all better I'm guessing."
"Finn?" Rachel hadn't been paying attention as she tapped out a reply.
"The text?"
"Quinn, she wants to go out. Shopping and a movie, so I'll see you later." She stood up and kissed her dad on the cheek. She missed the look on his face as she skipped up the stairs.
xoxo
The smile was wiped from her face thirty minutes later, when she got to the bottom of the stairs and was met with her boyfriend. Finn looked up at her and smiled, but it didn't stay in place long as he was under the scrutinizing gaze of her two dads.
"Hey Rach. I thought I could take you out for lunch, to make up for last night."
"I can't." She turned her back to him and pretended to look for something in her purse.
"What? Oh sure. Your Dads, yeah."
"Um, actually I'm going out with Quinn."
"Well, tell her you've got plans with me now." He shrugged and made his way to the couch, oblivious to the looks the three Berry's were giving him.
Rachel turned to her Dads, but they didn't have any answers for her.
"I'm going out with Quinn. I think it's best you went home unless you want to spend the next few hours alone with the two men you forgot to ask permission from."
"Permission?" Finn stood up and then it hit him. "You told them? Right. Okay I can do this. Maybe I should sing or something, yeah."
"Singing isn't necessary Finn." Leroy placed a firm hand on the boys shoulder. "I think you should know that neither of us thinks this is a good idea, but we have said we will support Rachel's decision."
"I'm gonna take good care of her, we'll be able to live with my Mom and Burt until we have a baby and it'll mean we can save for our own place. The garage is doing well and I'll have a steady income. Maybe Rachel could teach at the high school or something, but she wouldn't have to. I like the idea of her being at home."
Leroy looked from the boy, to his husband and then to Rachel. He was somewhat pleased to see that Rachel looked as shocked as he was.
"I'm going to New York." Rachel said firmly, her eyes were still wide.
"But if you don't get in to NYADA. It's a good plan."
"I'm going to New York." Rachel repeated and took Finn's hand, leading him back to the couch. "I'm going whether I get into NYADA or not. I have a dream Finn and it's not something I'm prepared to give up on. I have to try."
"I get it Rach, I do. But if it doesn't work out then we need the garage, we need security."
"Finn, I think we need to stop planning. I can't do this, the wedding, the engagement...it's too soon. I can't."
"You're breaking up with me? Is this because I went in the closet with that girl?"
Leroy almost choked.
"No and no. I'm not breaking up with you, but I can't say yes to getting married. Not now. We're too young. Quinn was right and I need to live my dreams." Rachel stood up and walked towards the door. "I'll see you later. Quinn's going to be worried."
Finn followed her out of the door. "It's always Quinn lately. Don't think I don't know that this change of heart is because of her. I bet she's got some twisted plan to break us up."
"This has nothing to do with Quinn, so please stop before I say something you don't want to hear."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he snapped, his anger coming to the surface. She wasn't happy they were having a fight and was busy trying to unlock her car when his hand grabbed her wrist.
"Finn, I have to go. Let me go!" she screamed and pulled her hand free. She got in her car without looking back as she made her way to Quinn.
xoxo
When she parked, she saw Quinn waiting for her and she found herself running towards the blonde and hugging her tightly.
"I'm so sorry about last night." Quinn mumbled as Rachel squeezed her.
"Last night? No oh, yeah that's fine, we both drank too much."
"So what's the hug for?"
"I just needed one and I felt bad for getting angry too. Finn just showed up at my house and told me not to come."
"He what?" Quinn tried to keep calm at that piece of information. "but you're here, so I'm happy."
"Me too, very happy, so no talk of Finn."
"Perfect." Quinn grinned and linked her arm with Rachel's as they made their way indoors.
xoxo
"You look really pretty." Quinn swallowed thickly as Rachel spun around in front of her. They'd found the perfect dress for her and Quinn had insisted she try it on even if there wasn't a reason to buy it or a good excuse to wear it. Now she watched as Rachel flattened it down and examined herself in the mirror. She really did look beautiful and Quinn found she couldn't take her eyes off her. Rachel must have caught her staring as she was eyeing her quizzically through the mirror.
"You okay Quinn?"
"I'm...yes. Just thirsty."
"Sure." Rachel smiled shyly and changed back into her own clothes.
"I still think you should buy it." Quinn said as she put their drinks on the table a little later.
"Maybe one day, but..."
"You have to save for the wedding?" Quinn quipped and immediately regretted it when she saw the look on Rachel's face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have."
"It's okay. I'm not saving for the wedding. I'm saving for New York. I'm going Quinn. NYADA or not. I have to go."
Rachel didn't get another word out as she was suddenly being scooped up into Quinn's arm and spun round in the air.
"I can't tell you how happy that makes me." Quinn eventually slowed, placing Rachel's feet back on the ground.
"I think you just showed me." She was slightly breathless from where Quinn had been holding her so tight. Quinn's arms were still locked around her waist as she looked up into her eyes and felt something strange happen in her stomach, she swallowed and tried to dismiss it but Quinn was still looking at her like that and it made her blush.
"You're going to make it Rachel, I know it." Quinn smiled down at her and there was something so real in her eyes that made Rachel believe her and all her old doubts seemed to vanish.
"I'm not marrying him, I told him earlier. I was angry then and I wasn't really sure, but now I am." she nodded to herself, happy that her decision was made. "You were right, I was just scared. Maybe if we're meant to be together then someday, but not now. This isn't the right time."
"For real?" Quinn let go of Rachel, not sure if she could process this whilst she held the girl in her arms.
"It was crazy. Everyone knows it. Finn isn't going to like it, but I can't do this with him anymore."
"If he loves you, he'll understand."
"I'm not sure it's that simple when it comes to Finn."
"Just know I'm here for you."
"You've been the best friend I could ever imagine. I'm going to miss you when we graduate."
"Yale's pretty close. So I can visit."
"If you get in?"
Quinn pulled an envelope from her pocket and handed it to Rachel. "I got in."
"Oh my god!" It was Rachel's turn to pick Quinn up, except she didn't have the cheerios strength so she settled for a long hug. Losing herself in the softness of Quinn's embrace before she remembered why she was hugging her in the first place.
"Pretty cool huh?"
"Pretty god damn amazing. I can't believe you did it."
"I've come a long way since we fought at the piano. I didn't think I had a future to look forward to, you showed me that I just wasn't looking in the right place."
"We have to celebrate."
"Want to get dinner after the movie?"
"Yeah I do."
They sat in the movie theatre and Quinn couldn't help but turn to look at Rachel, each time she was met with a broad grin that kept making her giggle. The film started and she felt Rachel's hand slip into hers. It felt so right that she linked their fingers without thinking. They stayed like that for the entire film. Rachel eventually leaning in a little and resting her head on Quinn's shoulder. It made Quinn's heart soar. She just wished it meant what she wanted it to mean. She'd proved to Rachel she could be her friend, but now she knew her feelings weren't platonic and she had no idea how she was going to deal with it. Rachel may not be marrying Finn, but he was still her boyfriend and Rachel still loved him. Quinn closed her eyes at the thought, but right now Rachel was here with her and if friendship was all she was willing to give than Quinn would try to live with that, but as Rachel cuddled in a little tighter to her side she knew it was going to be hard.