Author's Note: This chapter is sooooo a filler. Sorry guys, be it has to be here. I hope your eyes don't bleed... Oh yeah. You wanna be in the spoon? The spoon is calling this story "Tay-off". (the spoon is an "on-spot" made up term meaning my lovely friends that say "THIS SUCKS ASS" and "I like" and "OMG, IT'S MY LOVUR.")

Description: Actions come with consequences. When things went to far, he was expelled. When the pressure became too much he tried to vanish forever.

Warning: Not boy love yet. Slight Sirius abuse. Thisisafiller.

Disclaimer: If I said I was the owner of Harry Potter, you'd know better, right?

Key: italics - handwriting.

"..." - talking.

The Act of Forgiving

Chapter 3 :Some Things

The silence thickened, threatening to overwhelm Sirius as he sat there, fingers fiddling with his firewhiskey bottle as he longed for another. Anything to break the awkwardness that had settled over the room. It was drowning him, after all. Sitting here with a bunch of people he hadn't spoken to in years. Bloody Merlin, he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Sirius." it was Remus who finally broke the tension and the young Black mentally noted that he owed the werewolf a giant bar of chocolate whether or not he was accepted once more. "Do you think I hate you?" there was another tense moment of silence and that drowning feeling came back over Sirius as he glanced up shyly but couldn't keep eye contact. He braced himself to answer.

"I... wouldn't blame you if you did, Remus." he mumbled, not looking up as he head someone shift and come toward him. At least, he didn't look up until he heard more than felt a hard slap across his face. His gray eyes widened in shock, confusion, and a tinge of sadness even as Lily gasped in the background.

"Remus Johnathan Lupin!" she hissed but stopped when James held up a hand.

"Don't you dare even think that again!" the werewolf growled before grabbing a very surprised Sirius in a bone-crushing hug. For the first time since they had apprehended the dog animagus and dragged him into the house he slowly brought both arms up and hugged his old friend back as tightly as he could, all awkwardness melting as he felt himself begin to shake with tears because the friends that hated him had forgiven him. It didn't help that he still hadn't forgiven himself, but that was a thought for contemplation at a later point. The young Black's voice shook as he spoke.

"I-I-I'm so sorry. For everything..." the words were true. They meant all the things he couldn't bring himself to say. He was sorry for betraying them and for not accepting the owls they'd tried to send, and for every detail of what had happened that he wasn't telling them. He couldn't form the words to express any of this though, nothing but to say everything. Some parts of his soul were just too broken to try and reveal yet. Perhaps he was also afraid of his best friend's reactions so soon after getting them back.

After a few long seconds, another pair of arms wrapped themselves around the two men and Sirius looked up just in time to see James giving him a smile before a clumsier set of arms joined the hug. Sirius didn't need to turn to know that this new person was Peter. After all, Lily was just not that pudgy. Even if it was slightly uncomfortable and he was practically suffocated under all those arms, the message was so clear that even Peter got it. They forgave him and loved him and wanted him back. Nothing that had happened in the past mattered, regardless of the things they needed to work through and talk about. Not one of the young men could say how long they stood there. Seconds, minutes, hours? It didn't matter. For the first time in so many years, the Marauders were together and they all just took the time to feel more whole then any of them had in a long while. In Sirius' case, more whole did not mean completely at all. Even though the huge chasm had considerably slimmed out, there was still a gaping hole and he knew he wasn't ready to fill it.

"Welcome back, Padfoot." James said suddenly, pulling away with a bright smile and wiping a few stray tears from his eyes. The other two parted and they were suddenly all laughing. The sound was a breath of fresh air. It was something they all needed so desperately after the strain and awkwardness of being together again for so long. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius noticed Lily coming back into the room. He didn't remember her leaving but he only too glad to see the sandwiches she was carrying with her. He hardly noticed her relieved smile as Peter saw the food and bounded forward.

"You, Padfoot, are never allowed to leave us again. Just so you are well informed." Remus said, wiping his eyes as he took a slow step toward the plate of sandwiches. Lily really did make amazing sandwiches after all and one would really be missing out did they not get to them before Peter (love him as they may) ate them all first. Sirius couldn't help the grin that stole his face as he nodded, attempting to wipe his own eyes as he got to his feet.

"Not this time," his smile faltered slightly, "the first time was more than enough."

A comfortable silence fell over the group as they all munched on their sandwiches and sipped on the tea Lily had run back into the kitchen for.

"Oh! Padfoot!" Peter suddenly broke the silence and everyone turned to stare. They all tried to pretend that it wasn't awkward at all for the other to be talking with his mouth stuffed full of sandwich, this being especially hard for Sirius as their rat animagus friend blabbered away a bit more. "If we ever run across those bully people, we're gonna get them Marauder style!" that said, the Pettigrew turned back to his food and shoved an impossible bite into his still half-full mouth. Remus raised an eyebrow while James held back a chuckle, even Lily looked a little amused, if not concerned for his carpet. Sirius was the only one that looked very uncomfortable, nervous even. A pair of amber eyes flickered toward him, a frown appearing on the werewolf's face even though it was apparent Sirius had shared all he was going to on the matter. But there just had to be something he was keeping back.. and it had to be important.

"So..." the Black started slowly, "how about you guys? What have you been up to all this time?" he asked, trying to tease his own tension. It wasn't surprising that James' face was the one to brighten up and even after all these years the dog animagus just knew they were in for a Lily rant. Remus and Peter (the later of which still had quite a bit of food in his mouth) groaned and Lily sighed as if this was simply a boring subject that just had to pass.

"Lily let me take her on a date about three months after you left. It was so amazing. The sun glittered off her hair like a raging flame, her eyes sparkling like grass covered in fresh dew, and Merlin! Her outfit fit her in all the right places!" James was only getting started, but fortunately there was a saving grace to the story.

"If you would, get to the part where she left halfway through after you commented on her tits." Remus broke out, grinning as James' rant vibe considerably dropped, visible by his melting smile. Sirius, Peter, and Lily all broke out in chuckles at the rather comical expression while Remus hide his own behind one hand.

"A-And don't-- haha!-- forget hoe you didn't get another ch-chance until-- hah!-- seventh year when she saw you-- hehe!-- sulking on the top of the-- heh!-- Astronomy Tower!" Peter added, giggles finally diminishing as everyone else quieted a bit. Sirius quirked an eyebrow, wondering just why James would be sulking. Perhaps she'd rejected him earlier that day? James and Lily exchanged a glance.

"Well?" Lily asked impatiently and James sighed.

"Your birthday, Pads." Everyone was quiet for a minute, Sirius frowning slightly.

"I didn't realize... I'm sorry..." the Black mumbled and the male Potter gave him a look.

"Don't be, git." he joked, Lily rolling her eyes at the comment. The woman's voice dropped to one of exasperation as she spoke next.

"Can you say anything nice?" she asked and James smiled devilishly.

"I love you!" no one could help but the laugh, the worries forgotten for now.

"So really... What have you guys been up to?" Sirius asked again as everyone calmed down. Peter (whom had finally swallowed all that food) was the first to reply.

"I'm in the wizarding candy industry!" the rat squeaked, his chubby arms flapping about in his excitement. The young Black grinned madly, giving James and Remus an 'I so told you so' sort of look as he remembered the few times they'd somehow gotten on that subject back in school. Both of them rolled their eyes at him, although James was ready to reply when he finished.

"Believe it or not, I'm a lawyer at the Ministry. Werewolf defense, more accurately." the Potter said, wriggling his eyebrows at Remus. This only earned him a slap on the back of the head from Lily, and a nervous laugh from Remus. Sirius raised an amused eyebrow and Peter reached for the last sandwich.

"I opened up a muggle book shop." Remus put in after a slightly awkward pause, grinning devilishly at James and Peter's mock looks of horror. Sirius on the other hand smiled.

"That's just like you." he said, ignoring Lily's 'you're-so-stereotypical' look by laughing at the way the Potter and Pettigrew shifted their terrified glances toward his un-terrified face. They all broke once again into laughter which was broken by Lily.

"I'm a mediwitch." the woman said, looking for all the world she enjoyed her job. They all sat through another comfortable silence before Sirius decided he had to ask a question.

"So... first off... Remus, Lily, why did you choose the cafe I work at today?" he'd been wondering why two very magical people would choose his specific cafe to come hang out at. Not that he hadn't seen signs of a magical customer before, it was just... it was just that it was them, really.

"Lily and I hang out when James is busy and we're both off work. It was really a coincidence that we ran into you. Shame we didn't go there sooner, really." Remus answered, leaning back against the couch as if it belonged to him.

"Alright... Believable enough." Sirius mumbled and for some reason they all found this quite funny.

The rest of that day was spent laughing and getting reacquainted with one another. One thing was for certain, they had all grown up. Where the basics of their personalities was the same, they still had a lot to learn about each other and connect with. For Sirius, it was much more different than for the others who had the added bonus of having each other around. But it wasn't a lost cause. One thing was for certain, their friendship was somehow unbreakable this time, somehow stronger. They could all feel it, even amongst the secrets and unknowns.

Of course, all good days come to an end. Remus kindly agreed to apparate Sirius back to the alley near the cafe and they'd both said their goodbyes before the Lupin disappeared with a loud snap. The Black was quick to step into the cafe and apologize before going back out to his motorcycle. He drove back to the apartment complex, putting the bike away in the garage provided before walking slowly to the office to see if any mail had arrived while he'd been gone. He was expecting a few bills after all and it simply wouldn't do to leave them until morning. As it turned out, he did have a numbed of letters. As he walked toward his part of the complex, he shifted through his mail.

Bill, bill, junk mail, bill, what the fuck a letter... He paused, glancing at his handwritten address for a few moments before slowly looking up at the sender. The handwriting was an all too familiar looping scrawl that left him breathing hard as he hurried his step. A few seconds later he was locking himself in his apartment, dropping all his mail but that single letter. He collapsed on to his worn red couch before shakily reading the return address again.

Drew McPhierce

He didn't bother with the rest of the address as his shaking hands tore the envelope open and pulled out a single sheet of paper.

Black,

It really has been far too long. How have you been? I must say I've been just fine, since I know you're wondering. I should probably get to the point of my correspondence as you're probably dying of anticipation. It has been far too long and I believe it would be a wonderful idea to meet up. Besides, you know what is coming up, don't you? Anyway, there's a wonderful Italian restaurant on the outskirts of London. My schedule is clear for Thursday, let me know about your own. The day is surely quite fitting, all considering. I'll be awaiting your reply.

-Drew

The blood pounding through Sirius' ears was more of a sound than a feeling as he was numbed by the torrid of emotions fluttering through him at lightening speed. He was dizzy and could hear his breath getting kicker as he struggled to get a hold of himself. No! He didn't want to go! He didn't want to go through everything again! But he knew he would go. He knew he would do everything the same as always. He had before, every time, and he would continue to even now because even eith the return of his best friends he had nothing to hold on to.

I know it was a filler, but I still want a review. -grin- Actually, I'd really like to know what people think. It would also be nice to read your guesses on what you think is going on with that letter from Drew and what you think Sirius is hiding. Pleasepleaseplease send me love?