A/N: Okay, so not a whole lot of talking in this chapter. There was going to be more, but the chapter got too long so I split it into two. It would have been too rushed otherwise.

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl, I just have my little broken dolls that I play with.

(Bonus points go to anyone who can tell me where inspiration for the chapter titles comes from.)

Chapter Three: In Which There is a Great Deal Done in a Small Amount of Time and Artemis has a Chat with Butler

It was the opposite for Artemis. Time didn't seem to move slowly enough. As they say: so much to do, so little time.

Unlike Holly, he was directly involved with planning all the minute details of both wedding ceremonies.

The first thing to be determined was the color scheme. Green, representing both races, white, representing Ireland and humans, and gold representing The People.

The venue was next. After much debate, the Slieve Russell Hotel Golf and Country Club was decided upon.

Located in Ballyconnell in Cavan County, the venue was just under two hours from Dublin. The hotel would easily accommodate a reception of up to 500 guests — a requirement for such an important event — but even that was cutting it close.

Not to mention it had a large outdoor space with plenty of room for the Presentation of the Colors, something Artemis understood the fairies to be taking care of entirely.

The tricky part was determining if there would be alcohol allowed on the premise during the wedding.

Those on both sides that were involved with planning the wedding were torn. On one hand, it put every fairy at risk. On the other hand, wedding guests, regardless of their race, were going to want to drink.

Eventually, it was decided after hours of negotiations — and several yelling matches — that there would be designated drinking areas and guards that would assure no alcohol was allowed outside those areas.

The food was easier to deal with. A banquet would suffice to make sure there was a meal everyone in attendance would enjoy.

The trickiest part of the whole thing by far was the guest list and seating arrangements. (So much so that the author refused to even try to describe the process and final result because they were far too complicated.)

When he'd gone over the guest list, Artemis had come across several names he didn't remember placing on it. After some digging, he found they were some of Holly's close, personal friends and, seeing as how none had any history of causing problems, he let it be.

Finally, it was the day prior to the wedding and the bride and groom were set to "meet" for the first time. At least officially.

The night before the rehearsal dinner, just knowing who the bride was — and how she likely would act — had given Artemis a headache.

By morning, his headache had dissipated and he was able to arrive at the Slieve at exactly 6 a.m., as planned.

He met the wedding planners there — Dasha Heille, a human, and Cloud Heforth, a pixie — and by 7 a.m. setup for the ceremony and reception areas were in full swing under their guidance.

It was a massive undertaking that required almost 100 people, both human and fairy, to complete.

The ceremonies were outside near one of the bodies of water that happened to have an oak tree next to it. Approximately 285 chairs had to be set up in a semi-circle around the tree.

Inside, tables and seating for 500 had to be arranged, the dancefloor had to be prepared and buffet tables had to be set up among hundreds of other tasks.

The trio didn't get a break until just after noon, when lunch arrived.

While the two wedding planners twittered together about some of the finer details, Artemis excused himself to clean up before eating.

Butler followed close behind. As soon as they were alone, he started in on his boss.

"Why are you doing this, Artemis?" the large man questioned.

Artemis sighed and leaned on the edge of the counter in the bathroom he'd retreated to. They'd had this discussion at least a dozen times.

"Butler, we've gone over this already."

"Good PR is not a good reason to get married, Artemis," Butler said.

"Look Butler," Artemis replied, rubbing his forehead. "Regardless of the good press it gains us, this is the best way to end the war and I am the best option for the groom. The Fowls are well known among The People for funding this war. For them to see that humans are laying down arms, someone who has had a large part in its continuation needs to be a part of this marriage."

"Artemis—"

"That is enough, Butler." Artemis spun and set his gaze upon his bodyguard, a man he had come to consider family, rather than an employee. "This is not up for discussion. It is happening, whether or not you like it."

Butler frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but Artemis cut him off.

"That is an order, Butler," he said sharply.

The Eurasian closed his mouth. His lips were a thin line and he obviously was displeased, but he ceased verbally expressing his displeasure.

"Yes Sir," Butler replied in his deep, rumbling voice.

Artemis nodded. "Good."

With that, he turned back to the sink and began washing his hands. He finished, dried his hands, and headed back out to enjoy his lunch as much as one in his position could.

It was late afternoon when the politicians arrived. Dominique Ireabet, Iain Coltford, ceann comhairle of the Dáil Éireann and Galvin O'Neill as representatives of the human race, while Helana, and two other council members joined as representatives of The People.

Quartz Iverson was an aging, white-haired gnome who didn't speak much. He had beady eyes, his back was hunched and he generally replied to questions with a "humph" and an indignant sniff.

Danny Larkspur was exactly the opposite. A relatively youthful sprite with eyes that were a shocking shade of neon orange-pink and a mouth that never seemed to stop smiling, he was the youngest member of the council at only 265 years old.

Introductions were brief, as most already had met at least once during the negotiation process. The next few hours were spent going over details of the peace treaty.

Evening arrived rapidly and along with it, the bride and her escort.

The sun was setting over the horizon when the shuttle carrying Holly and Root arrived.

Holly, who had been in a perpetual bad mood since she'd been told about the marriage, was in an even worse mood that night.

The stress was getting to her and Root had refused to let her pilot the shuttle on the way there. Apparently he was convinced she would take them to the opposite side of the world instead of the wedding venue.

Holly had rolled her eyes, but when he asked her to deny it, she couldn't.

Far too soon for Holly's liking, the shuttle was landing in one of the Slieve's courtyards. Helana was there waiting for them.

Holly greeted her great-aunt as civilly as she could, given the circumstances, and she was soon being escorted inside.

-flips sign to open- Now taking bets on how Holly will react to meeting the groom! Now taking bets! The first person who guesses correctly will get their name in a future chapter. –waits for line to form-

Definitions:

Áras an Uachtaráin: official residence of the President of Ireland

- located in the Phoenix Park on the north side of Dublin.

Taoiseach: Prime Minister of Ireland

Oireachtas: legislature of Ireland

- consists of the President, Dáil Éireann and Seanad Éireann

Dáil Éireann: Assembly of Ireland

Ceann Comhairle: chairperson of the Dáil Éireann

Seanad Éireann: Senate of Ireland

Cathaoirleach: chairperson of the Seanad Éireann

Presidential Commission: collective vice-presidency of Ireland

- 3 members: Chief Justice (President of the Supreme Court), Ceann Comhairle and Cathaoirleach

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