Author's Note: I wasn't going to do any of these, to make the story flow better, but this is really the only way to thank the people who have reviewed, followed, or even just read along for themselves, and I am much too grateful not to. I appreciate every eye on the page, and I appreciate even more those who take time out of their day to give me feedback. I'm having a blast writing this, so even if no one ever saw it, it would be worth it… but we all know it's better when people do. I hope those who like it continue to do so, and I hope if you don't, you tell me why! Thanks again, all.
Her first task was to tell the elves, and she took the walk as a chance to collect herself. Abelas and his group had made their camp just outside the hold proper, in a grove that looked private but had several vantage points from the walls. Josephine had a talent for such things. As she approached, Abelas stood to greet her. No fool, he left his staff on the ground and smoothly stepped a pace away. She didn't waste time.
"It's been decided that I'll lead the search for Mythal personally, if that's acceptable to you and your people. If it is, I ask that you share any information you have about location with Scout Harding, our reconnaissance expert." She gestured to the dwarf next to her, who essayed a tentative wave.
Abelas raised his eyebrows. "Inquisitor, you honor us with your personal interest in this. We did not expect such generosity, but we gladly accept it. If it pleases you, I and two of my men will join you, while the rest remain here to continue searching with magic."
She hesitated, but nodded her assent. It was his goddess, after all; she could hardly refuse. "I hope to leave in two days, before any trail runs cold. Is that enough time?"
"Yes, Your Grace, thank you," said Abelas. He stepped towards her and lowered his voice. "Tell me, please, what made you decide this? My journeys through your lands show that most humans have little time for elven troubles, and your time is more valuable than all."
Evelyn eyed her escort Templars before answering. "What's important to the elves is important to Thedas, whether they accept it or not. The Inquisition will aid all those of this land who seek our help in good faith. If there's any chance of recovering such an important part of your heritage, it must be done. And you, Abelas, have given us much, more than we had a right to ask for. It's only fair we return it with our best."
"I see. A worthy answer. If you will forgive me, you are not what I imagined you to be." He gave a faint smile. "You remind me of an elf."
She considered asking her guard to remain with her for her next stop, as a shield, but decided the gossip mill couldn't take any more grist for today. Signaling them to back away, she opened the door to Cullen's office without knocking. He stood at his desk, briefing the captains on their assigned patrols and watches for the next week. One of them was in the middle of a long joke about a short barman from Tevinter, a sure sign the meeting was nearly over. She slipped back against the wall. Cullen's door opened so often he hadn't noticed her come in, and he was grinning as the joke worked towards its punchline. She watched his face, trying to memorize its happiness.
He looked over then and saw her, and his jaw tensed. But he laughed deeply as the captain finished with a flourish, then cheerfully waved them out of the door as they discussed the various ways the joke wasn't anatomically possible. His men always saw the commander they needed. He closed it behind them and leaned his head on his forearm before turning to her. His eyebrows were drawn together, but his voice was soft. "Evelyn."
She loved him in that moment, for using her name.
"I'm sorry, Cullen." She stopped. She'd thought she'd have more to say. She'd come up with some very good lines on her way up the stairs, but they all abandoned her now. "I'm sorry," she said helplessly.
He held her gaze. "I know. I'm sorry, too," he added, sighing. "You're not a vassal of this organization, and you never asked to be here. My anger was extreme."
"But warranted," she said hurriedly. "I kept something from you. Information that would have helped you do your job. I shouldn't have."
Irritation crossed his face, and she stopped again. When he said nothing, she continued in a small voice. "And I'm sorry about what I said. About you being better off if… I didn't mean it. I used your fear to push you away. I violated a trust. Please forgive me."
He looked older again, leaning sideways against the door. She saw shadows under his eyes and realized how worried about her he must have been the last few weeks while she was too busy to notice. After a long minute, he stretched his arm out. She moved closer, and he drew her in towards him.
"I forgive you for that, if you wish. That fear is nothing anyone couldn't guess, so if there were a violation it was small. And I forgive you for making my job harder. I protect the most important person in Thedas and command the largest military force outside of a government. It was never going to be easy."
She twisted closer to him when he paused, fitting herself to the smoothness of his armor. He pulled back and lifted her chin to look her in the face. He wasn't wearing gloves, and his calloused fingers were rough on her skin. "I forgive you, Evelyn, as Commander and friend. What I can't forgive is the secrets you keep between us. I'm not naïve enough to think you've told me everything I should know that I don't. You offered me honesty this morning and even that was incomplete. You charm and lie so well that I can't see the holes, but I know they're there. And you'll never be sorry enough to stop lying to me if it's what you think is best."
There was no reason to protest. He was right. So she stayed silent, admitting nothing and everything, and waited.
He pressed his forehead against hers and rubbed his thumb down her jawline. "But I love you, and you'll leave soon, and I've no time for this anger if you might never return." He tilted his head down and kissed her, soft and then hard, slipping his hand behind her head and tangling his fingers in her hair. She responded fiercely, pulling him towards her. I love you, too, she thought, and wished the truth came out more easily in the world than inside her head.
After a time, he pulled back. "Your guards must be threatening people with swords to keep my doors closed this long," he said. "How long until you leave?"
"Two days." She traced the scar above his lip with her finger. "Will you come up tonight?"
He nodded and pulled her in tightly against him. "It's very hard to love a woman who's always leaving," he murmured into her hair.
"It's hard to be a woman who always leaves," she said. She laughed quietly against his chest. "Though I imagine it's sometimes hard to love me while I'm here, too."
He kissed the top of her head and released her. "You're wrong. The trouble is, it's all too easy."
She hurried back to the Keep on lighter feet. She needed to get to the Undercroft to check the armor her assistants had selected, and she was hoping to find Cassandra somewhere along the way to start planning strategy. To her surprise, she found her sitting with Sera in Solas's chambers, now a sort of sitting room, staring at the scenes painted on the walls. Cassandra motioned her to take a seat across from them, and Evelyn grimaced. These walls were nothing but reminders of a betrayal for her, but she'd known Skyhold's inhabitants loved them too much for her to destroy them. She settled into a chair with a view of as much of the door as possible.
Cassandra looked slightly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Inquisitor," she said in her most noble inflections. "I realize I should be out training recruits, but this room I find very soothing. The murals are quite lovely."
Evelyn grinned. "Cassandra, it's okay. You're allowed to stop fighting and appreciate something beautiful every once in a while. In fact, I demand you do so at least once per day." She turned to Sera. "I am a little surprised at you being here. Isn't this all a little elven for you?"
"Hey, alright? Just because I don't like all that elf-y welf-y sit in a forest crap doesn't mean I can't like a thing. The pictures in here are nice, yeah? Peaceful. Not like all that blood and guts we fix up all the time."
"I surrender!" Evelyn said meekly, putting her hands up. Her mouth twitched as Sera glared, then turned back to the murals with a huff.
"I'm glad you're both here, actually," she said more seriously. "I'll meet with everyone tomorrow, but we have a trip to plan, and I'd like your thoughts. If you're willing to go with me, of course." She quickly outlined the mission, leaving out all mention of Morrigan, the Fade and past meetings with witchy goddesses.
When she finished, Sera hooted. "Not enough to beat down someone who just wants to be a god, yeah? Now you have to go smash one who says they already are, just to prove who's biggest. Gods, the ones who just pretend I mean, they're the biggest stompers around. Plenty of favors if you take them down."
Evelyn rubbed her temples. "We're not planning to fight her, Sera, just find her. For the elves." Sera waved this away and started humming one of the more militant passages of the Chant.
Cassandra rolled her eyes. "I, of course, will accompany you on whatever task you require. I must admit to curiosity about seeing someone who may have lived for so long, if she exists. She would have many things to tell us that we have lost through the years. But I worry about being accompanied by strangers. Of course, we are not in much of a position to refuse."
"Exactly. And really, it might work out. We've run out of mages I trust, and Abelas and the others are at least powerful. Even if it's mostly trading one problem for another."
A voice called out from her left, "I'm sorry, was someone here looking for a mage? I have an excellent candidate."
Evelyn spun around. A dark-skinned man with an impossible mustache bowed deeply in the doorway to the Great Hall. She leapt out of her chair. "Dorian!" She sprinted across the room and enveloped him in a hug. "You're back from Tevinter so soon?"
He squeezed her tightly before answering. "Yes, well, I'm afraid the Imperium is not yet softened sufficiently for my vision, and my father and I can only make it so long in a room before the magic starts bubbling up." He let her go and sank into a precise, courtly bow. "Besides, the ladies of Tevinter compare most unfavorably to my lovely comrades in arms."
Cassandra glowered. Sera blew a raspberry. Evelyn raised her eyebrow.
"Alas, such difficult audiences in these smelly lands. In Tevinter the fans would already be violently fluttering. It comforts me to know none of you will be looking to marry me for either my charm or my family name."
"Any woman marrying you for your charm would find herself smothered and starved all at the same time," Cassandra snorted. Dorian feigned an arrow to the heart, and Evelyn covered a laugh with her hand.
She thought for a second, then chuckled. "Iron Bull will be happy to see you, anyway. He's been even more disparaging of the Vints than usual since you left. Even Krem's taken to sassing him back about it."
Dorain smiled. "Yes, he did have several new slurs to throw at me. I think he was rather pleased to try them out on someone who could be truly insubordinate."
She narrowed her eyes. "You saw Bull before coming to find me? And you thought you'd get away with that?"
"My dear Evelyn, though you hold the only woman's favor I would ever condescend to wait for, there's always a tremendous queue at your office. Besides, I got a much better entrance line this way, didn't I?" He led her back to the chairs and sat down beside her. "Now, tell me about these problems you have that only a handsome mage can solve."