Demons are very scary things you know, but what really scares me is their s***. Have you ever wondered what demon poop looks like? Maybe it looks like human poop, or beluga poop, or elephant poop (have you seen the size of those biggies? Wow, I'm impressed) but I have a feeling it looks a little like Otae's cooking ya know? Black, foul-smelling mass of sin and destruction, oozing revoltingly gooey substances of something I don' t think I want to describe and can cause massive death in every area of the world you know? What? Is there someone behind me? I don't- OH! U-UM HI! I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE! I WAS JUST COMPLIMENTING HOW WONDERFUL YOUR CO- WAIT! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! WAIT! WAAAAAIIIIT! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-*

"Aneue?"

"Yes, Shin-chan?"

"Why is Gin-san dead?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Shin-chan."

"No, he's lying right there. There's even a few flies flying around him."

"Shin-chan, are you alright? Do you need to get your eyes checked again?"

"No... I'm telling you..."

Shinpachi prodded the corpse with a stick, but there was no reaction to his attempt to resurrect the dead. He noticed a spoon next to the victim's head, and trickling down the corners of the mouth was saliva and something black, black and wrinkly, looking like a mushed up fly. It couldn't be...

"Aneue."

"Yes Shin-chan?"

"Did you make eggs again?"

"My, Shin-chan, I wanted to surprise you. How did you know?"

That confirmation was enough. He didn't need to ask to know what happened here.

"r...runnnnn..." the corpse rasped, weakly tapping Shinpachi's ankle to warn of the dangers ahead of him, "...ruuuuuuunnnn...!"

"Gin-san are you alright?" Shinpachi whispered, cautious of not catching his gorilla sister's attention.

"Th-those aren't sunny-side-up eggs- *cough* *cough*, they're made of purely sin and s*** from the dark side which I assure you, doesn't have cookies..."

"I know Gin-san, I live with her."

"This is on a whole different level of s***. It's pure Shinigami Arrancar Aizen level butt poop. For her to level up so quickly... that's truly something to be admired..."

"Um... I don't think that's very admirable Gin-"

"OH! IT'S THE MADAO!" Kagura had been very quiet until now, praying to Santa that she had been a good child to avoid the burnt balls of hell.

Gintoki could hear the sauntering steps approaching them, sandals smacking flat against the sounds of a dusty rocky path. Above all, he could feel the presence of a kindred soul, one with the mind of a gambler, a survivor and a freaking MADAO. And let's not forget the glasses.

"Hey Gin-san! I heard about it!"

Gintoki pushed himself up the ground, hoping he would hit his head on something he couldn't sense and fall or something, "What, is it news now? Is it the new cool thing for everybody to know what happened to poor Gin-chan? Oi oi, why wasn't I invited into this fad eh?"

"Erm," Hasegawa stood awkwardly, unsure of what to say, "Well..."

"I'm kidding, what is it?"

"How mean! Anyways, I got these pachinko tickets from the casino that fired me in 5 minutes and-"

"The one that let you wear your sunglasses?"

"...yes."

"WAIT WAIT WAAAIT!" Kagura interrupted, standing in between the two men, "GIN-CHAN, YOU CAN'T GO TO PACHINKO, YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME GROOM SADAHARUUUU!"

"Since when did I say that?!"

"You diiid! Last night remember?!"

-At freaking 3 AM-

"Gin-chan..." Kagura murmured, poking the sleeping man in the nose, "Giiiin-chaaaaaaaaaaannnn!"

"MMmn," Gintoki mumbled, and pulled the blankets over his head to shield himself from further irritation, "Mmmwvat."

"Will you groom Sadaharu with me tomorrow?"

"..."

"Silence is yes!"

"Nnn..."

"WHat?! YOU WILL?!"

"Godoslep, Kagurrrr-chennn..."

"Groom Sadaharu with me GIN-CHAN!"

"..."

"OI! I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING LIKE 'YES' IN YOUR FLASHBACK!" Gintoki argued, crossing his arms in defiance.

"Silence is yes!"

"No it is not!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it is not!" "So um..."

"Yes it is!" "...pachinko?"

"NO it is, NOT!" "Gin-san?"

"YES IT IS!" "Kagura-chan?"

"NO IT IS NOOOT!" "Um..." "Come on guys, let's calm down!"

"YES IT IIIIISSSSS!" "..." "GUYS! CALM DOWN!"

"NO. IT IS NOOOOOOO-"

"Will everyone please be quiet?"

The cold atmosphere was back again, and it gnawed and snapped at the group viciously, threatening to freeze them to the point of turning into black blocks of atrocities, and discarding their carcass into the hot furnace of hell. A sweetly smiling ogre sat upon it's throne, a bat embedded with nails in one hand, a sizzling foul-smelling handful of gunk in the other, ready to cause massacre at the slightest provocation.

"Y-yes 'mam..." every chorused, and that was the end of that.