Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and I'm not making any money off this in any way. That should do it for a disclaimer.

AN: I'm a bit discouraged with the reaction to Spark at the moment, so thought I would dive back into my HP stories for a while. That said, here is another chapter of Oops, hope you enjoy it. Please note that this hasn't been beta-read, as I don't have a beta for this story; feel free to volunteer if you feel you can edit well and you would like early access. Cheers!

Parsel

'Thinking'

"Normal talk"

Chapter 4: A Superpower Called Logic

"I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it." ~Unknown

In the wizarding world, logic could be treated like a super power if for no other reason than it is so rare. Now it is not entirely the wizard and witches fault that they normally can't think or do the logical thing, it's primarily magic that screws with the scientific norms that lead to logical progression. With magic, what goes up doesn't always come back down, you can make something from nothing with conjuring, and the rules of conservation of energy seem to be more like polite suggestions than laws when you wield a wand.

With that in mind, when it comes to magical combat the average witch or wizard normally throws logic out the window and relies on their instincts, which are to resort to magic. When a wizard wants to comb their hair or brush their teeth, they use magic. When a wizard wants to make dinner, tie their shoes, clean their clothes or go about their daily work then they also use magic. So it's no wonder that after a significant enough period of time in the wizarding world, a wizard will resort to magic as their instinctual first, and possible only, choice. Even Lily Potter ne Evans, that brilliant muggleborn witch succumbed to this lack of logic after ten plus years in the wizarding world when she allowed Peter Pettigrew to be chosen as secret keeper rather that she or her husband James. However that is a subject for another time.

No, when most wizards are faced with magical combat, they use magic as their defense; namely shields. Thus it was that when the average witch or wizard was faced with the "unblockable" avada kedavra death curse, they froze like a deer in the headlights.

However given that Harry Potter had been forced to live in the muggle world for the first eleven years of his life followed by the subsequent summer for the rest of his years, well he used logic.

When Harry walked out of Gringotts bank and saw Grindelwald's soldiers dressed in SS uniforms and fling an Avada Kedavra at his noggin, well he did the logical thing… he ducked.

The green beam of death magic flew over Harry's head and blew apart the bank's warning to thieves as the curse hit the lintel straight on.

Meanwhile, Harry turned his duck into a headfirst leap that sent him soaring down and over the stairs to roll across the paving stones before popping up three feet in front of the wide eyed surprised German wizard.

Harry hopped to his feet with his wand already in hand while smirking at the wizard who was momentarily stunned due to the "unblockable" curse missing.

"Tada!" Harry said with a smirk, his wand whipping up to touch the Adam's apple of the enemy wizard as a silent diffindo launched from the tip of his holly and phoenix feather wand.

The unknown Nazi garbed wizard's head popped off like a champagne cork as Harry's diffindo came out a heck of a lot more powerful than he expected and went on to scalp the brainpan of a second Grindelwald soldier who was casting a crucio on a woman and her child. The curse then went on to slice through a lamp pole, then through a warded glass shop window where it continued to carved through several stacks of pewter caldrons.

Harry blinked as blood splattered over his face, and then blinked again as what had felt like a normal cutting curse did a hell of a lot more damage than he was used to.

Harry looked down at the tip of his wand, but then realized he was pointing his own wand at his face and jerked it away, not wanting whatever unknown factor that affected his spell to take his eye out.

Harry looked around quickly and noticed that though there was some resistance here and there where husbands and wives protected their families; for the most part the remaining five enemy soldiers of Grindelwald were controlling the street; red bands on their arms with the mark of the Deathly Hollows clearly showing who the enemy served.

Harry heard a whimper to his left so turned quickly and saw that the woman and child were shivering under the effects of the cruciatus curse.

Harry checked to make sure that no soldiers were coming their way, and so quickly strode forward to the women.

"Here now, we have to get you out of here." Harry stated as he attempted to pull the woman off the ground where she was crouching protectively over her young son. However his attempt to pull her up by the arm only caused a greater whimper of pain as the nerves and muscles in her body had cramped up under the crucio.

"Damn-it!" Harry cursed with a frown before flicking his wand several times at mother and child. Due to the number of times that Harry had experienced the torture curse, Hermione had made sure that Harry memorized the counter charms and medical spells needed to sooth the enflamed nerves, cramping muscles and pain; even if she had to invent some of the spells herself.

The woman's whimpering stopped and when Harry was able to get her to stand, she saw that her son had only had a mild dose due to the woman taking the blunt of the spell.

The woman looked down and checked on her son before noticing the dead wizard at her feet and paling before turning to Harry. "Thank you kind Sir, if it wasn't for you, well…"

Harry smiled at her and couldn't help but puff his chest up a bit as his eyes quickly darted around to make sure they were safe for the moment.

"No problem Mademoiselle," Harry said with a debonair smile as he looked into the doe like large brown eyes that were part of an attractive heart shaped face surrounded by long brown curls. The women had curves in all the right places, as he Victorian era dress showed off her slim corseted waist and hourglass figure.

A spell flew over their head to splash against the wall of the shop next to them, causing Harry to duck instinctively and then quickly look around to notice that the fight was moving their way.

"Come on, we're not done here yet. We have to get you to cover." Harry said, one arm quickly swinging down to pull the young wide eyed lad off the ground while his second arm encircled the woman's waist and pulled them into the tight alley hidden between the two buildings.

Harry tested the air, and his magic told him that anti-apparition wards were up surrounding that part of Diagon Alley.

"Damn, well you will have to stay here for now, but I'll be back after I finish the battle." Harry said bravely as he set the woman's son down and let the woman go to return to the fray.

"Wait." The woman said suddenly, darting a hand forward to clasp Harry's hand as he turned to leave.

Harry turned to look at the woman with an inquisitive raise of an eyebrow.

The woman blushed at Harry, and she looked down before looking up at him and her eyelashes batted subconsciously, "At least tell me the name of my Hero." She requested.

Harry's smile slid up his face. "Bond," He said with a slight smirk and a bow of his head, "Lord Bond."

Then with a twirl on his heel, Harry sprinted off down the gap between the buildings while flinging an illusion spell over his shoulder, shielding the mother and child from view.

"Mommy, I want to be just like Lord Bond when I grow up. I want to be the bestest fighter of dark wizards, just like him." The boy stated with unabridged awe at the retreating hero, causing the blushing mother to blink and turn her attention to her little boy.

The woman smiled as she bent down and gave him a big protective hug.

"Alastor, you can be anything you want to be when you grow up." The woman said with a smile before looking back down the alley and adding, "But now we have to be quiet until our hero returns to tell us it's safe."

Harry exited the gap between the buildings like a hellion of war. His recently stolen yew wand flicked out of a holster on his left wrist and into his hand, and then his two wands began to spin. Like a drummer at a heavy metal rock concert, Harry's wands beat a machinegun like staccato as spells flew left and right from his wands.

Cutting, piercing, immolating fire, ice spears, thrown objects, shredding, lung collapsing and organ bursting curses flew like raindrops in a monsoon, all of them coming from Harry's rapidly twirling swirling wands. This wasn't the Harry Potter who took on Voldemort with an expelliarmus in the graveyard of his fourth year at Hogwarts; this was the Lord Harry James We-don't-use-no-stinking-stunners Bond who had come to sleep with hot women and kick dark wizard arse.

A cutting curse bisected an enemy soldier's forearm followed quickly by the man's torso shaking as it was pin-cushioned with several piercing curses to the torso followed by an ice spear to the back of the neck. Meanwhile a second enemy soldier went down as his hastily conjured shield was overwhelmed by the flamethrower spell of fire that roared around the man's shield and clung like napalm until the heat overwhelmed the dark wizard before crushing in and turning the man to ash.

Harry glared in concentration as the death of the two invading wizards brought the attention of the remaining three SS wizard onto Harry Harry; the previously defending wizard civilians quickly took the opportunity to flee rather than help Harry fight.

Three wands were pointed at Harry's duel wielded two, and then Harry became a whirling dervish who twisted aside as purple energy soared at him to his left, followed by a bombardment hex at his feet which he dodged by doing an acrobatic flip kick that sent him rolling horizontally through the air three feet above the ground.

Harry landed feet planted before springing to the side again, all the while flicks of Harry's wands sent paving stones, sign posts and even the corpses of fallen enemies into the path of incoming spells or banished at the attacking wizards. In the hail of glass, stone and mangled limbs, Harry got a lucky hit in with a paving stone that skipped off the head of the enemy soldier on the furthest right as a sound like broken glass crashing denoted the falling of the anti-apparition ward.

Red cloaked Aurors appeared in droves as popping sounds echoed throughout the alley. However rather than help in the fight, the Aurors quickly grabbed fallen civilians and popped them away to safety.

Still, Harry was busy finishing off the dazed enemy soldier with an intestine twisting curse that sent the soldier of Grindelwald screaming to the ground while Harry shielded against a series of dark spells with his holly wand.

A green death curse slipped past Harry and he saw it strike an appearing Auror in the chest, causing the red robed young women to drop like a puppet without its strings.

"You bastards." Harry growled and stopped his dodging as a bright mirrored silver shield appeared from his yew wand as a flame whip appeared from the tip of his holly wand.

Harry stomped forward with a growl, not bothering to dodge any more but rather blocking or reflecting the spells back at the enemy as his fire-whip cracked in a broad circle before launching forward like a tentacle to catch the enemy commander around the chest.

Harry grinned evilly as he gave his fire-whip a yank, and heard the man's scream cut off in a huff of air as Harry's whip tightened and burnt its way straight through the attacking enemy commander while at the same time Harry deflected a dark shredding curse from the last remaining invader.

Harry's eyes swung to focus on the last remaining combatant and the soldier paled. The remaining soldier of Grindelwald's raiding group took his wand and tapped the red arm band on his shoulder to disappear in the blue flash of a portkey… only leaving a foot behind as Harry's fire-whip was slightly faster.

"Drop your wands and surrender! You're under arrest!" A voice yelled from behind Harry, causing him to pause and halt his instinctive reaction to turn around and curse first, ask questions later.

Harry canceled out his shield and fire-whip and flicked his wands so they slid back up his holsters while turning around slowly with his hands up and a broad smile on his face.

"Good afternoon officers, what a nice day for a battle, don't you think?" Harry questioned nonchalantly with a broad smile on his face as he turned around to face four nervous and wand-happy young junior Aurors who were looking a bit green at the destruction and death around them.

"Where did your wands go?" The bravest of the four, a young man with a few stray chin hairs questioned with a shaky voice, "You will drop your wands on the ground and surrender for arrest." The young man demanded.

Harry just kept a smile on his face, the fact that he realized he was standing in a puddle of blood not really bothering him that much given the provider of said blood had just been trying to kill him.

"Um, I'm going to have to say no." Harry said jovially, only to see the Aurors tense and a stunner fly straight towards Harry.

Harry's instinctive seeker reactions acted instantly, and his hand whipped out to intercept the stunner.

Now normally it doesn't matter where a stunner hits you, you're unconscious whether it hits your head or your baby toe.

However in this case, Harry's unconscious reaction saved him from a mid afternoon nap as his hand batted away the spell, causing the red beam of magic to slap into the cobblestoned street.

Harry's mind seemed to hiccup and skip a beat as he realized what had just happened.

The lead junior Auror's mouth dropped open, and one of the younger Auror's in the back dropped her wand in shock as all four of them stared wide eyed at the fact that the man had just wandlessly batted away a stunner.

Harry in turn turned his hand over and checked his palm, "Ahhhoough?" He grunted in confusion, before looking back at the Aurors and blinking.

The Aurors blinked.

Harry blinked back… and then he smiled and shrugged.

"Eh, I've seen weirder." Harry stated with a large smile and raised his hand towards the Aurors, causing all four of them to dodge back and spread out a bit at Harry's action.

"Now as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Harry stated with a large smile as he straightened his back and haughtily looked down his nose at the Aurors while doing his best Lucius Malfoy imitation. Even Harry had to grudgingly admit that Lucius Malfoy was the perfect example of the pureblood lord who talked his way out of getting arrested, though Harry mentally swore he would need to take a bath when he got home to his tent; acting like a Malfoy just made Harry feel dirty.

"I will not be under arrest as I was merely defending myself and the people of this fair alley, which is the right of all Pureblood Lords. For I am Lord Bond, Lord Harry James Bond." Harry completed while striking a pose and looking over his left shoulder with his right hand planted on his hip and his left hand waving his fake gold head of house ring in the Aurors' faces.

More popping sounds issued from around the alley as mediwitches began to appear to tend to the remaining wounded, and families carefully left the confines of the shops where they had been hiding.

With all the action going on, the young Aurors realized that they wanted to get away from this pureblood lord who could wandlessly slap away spells and was able to easily defeat seven of Grindelwald's well trained dark wizards.

Harry looked over the heads of the Aurors and noticed the young woman he had saved earlier poke her head out of the gap between the caldron shop and an apothecary.

Harry smiled and he triggered a charm that caused his eyes to sparkle, just like Dumbledore used to do… or in this case would do so in the future.

'Damn it feels good to steal Dumbledore's trick before the old man can use it.' Harry thought to himself with a smirk, 'Let's see how he is treated when people realize he is merely copying me.' Harry finished thinking before addressing the nervous Aurors.

"Ah, I see that the young lady I rescued is in need of returning home. I bid you good day." Harry stated haughtily before walking past the Aurors without so much as a "by your leave".

Harry's wand flipped into his right hand and he gave it a wave at his body while casting a cleaning spell. Now cleaned, Harry cut a daring figure as his robes billowed behind him, 'Ha! Take that Snape! I stole your signature charm also.' and his eyes twinkled, 'Ha! You too Dumbledore!' as Harry marched forward towards the young mother and her son whom Harry had saved earlier.

The young woman blushed as Harry moved towards her, and she averted her eyes for a moment before he was just up in front of her.

"You and your son should be safe now Ms…" Harry stated, pausing at the end in question for her name.

"Alison, the widow Alison Moody." The young woman stated as she raised her hand demurely for Harry to take.

Harry heard the name and paused, looked down to the young boy at the woman's side, and then smiled largely as his eyes twinkled and he leaned over her hand and gave it a kiss.

"A pleasure Ms. Moody. And I must say that you are the most attractive young widow that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting." Harry stated, the breath from his words tickling the back of her hand and causing Ms. Moody to shiver with goose bumps.

Harry rubbed his finger over the back of her knuckles as he released her hand, and he smirked a bit as he saw her blush deepen.

"And you must be Alastor if I had my guess." Harry stated as he leaned down towards the young boy and ruffled his hand through the eight or nine year old boy's hair.

Alastor just looked back at Harry wide eyed, "How-how did you know my name?" The young Alastor Moody said in awe.

Harry laughed and smiled, "Ha! You look like an Alastor." Harry quipped back, and then gave Alastor's mother a wink that caused her to giggle also.

"Wow, Lord Bond, I want to be just like you when I grow up. Then I'll be the best Dark Wizard catcher in the world, just like you!" Young Alastor replied proudly, tugging on Harry's open robes to get Harry's attention.

"I'm sure you will." Harry stated as he reached forward and tweaked Alastor's nose, which caused the boy to slap both hands to his face and frown up at Harry.

Harry had to laugh again as the young future dark wizard catcher frowned up at him.

"Remember, constant vigilance." Harry chided playfully with the young boy while pretending to go for Alastor's nose again; the young boy shook his head from side to side and kept his nose covered with his hands so that Harry couldn't tweak it again.

Alison Moody smiled at the byplay between her son and her brave savoir who not only saved her and her son, but also healed them of the unforgivable that had been cast upon them. It was then that she noticed what was written on Harry's shirt about him wielding a staff rather than a wand, and she subconsciously licked her lips.

"However can we thank you for saving us?" She asked as she rested her hand on his bicep, feeling Harry's sinewy hard muscles beneath the fabric of the robe.

Harry turned to look at Alison, and caught her checking out his shirt, and then he noted her eyes dart down to look lower on his body. When she looked into his eyes and realized she had been caught, she blushed a deep rosy red.

Harry smirked at her, giving a patented Potter smirk that had caused so many Hogwart's girls panties to drop for his father Prongs; and would have done so for Harry if he hadn't been such a tetchy little brooding bugger when he was in school.

"I'm sure we can think of something my dear." Harry stated with a smirk as he looked into her eyes. "Now look deep into my eyes and think of your home and I will side along apparate us there."

Alison felt hot and bothered as she looked deeply into the sparkling green eyes of her handsome savior, and then with a "Pop" the three of them disappeared.

AN: Another installment of oops and also the beginning of the legend of Bond, Lord Harry James Bond. The action happened, and now the romance begins. I don't think I'm going to really be writing lemon scenes into this story but rather will hint at copious amounts of sex taking place. Still, the humor and fun byplay will be in every chapter, and action will be scattered throughout. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know. Cheers!