Hello! Today, Pein is up to be the president! Though his name is written as 'Pain' in the Naruto Manga, I'll be using 'Pein' because it is less confusing.
Oh and I want to send out a great, big Thank You for everyone that reviewed, favorited and alerted this story! It's great to have such wonderful support! :D
Pein for President of the United States of America.
Acceptance Speech:
A blank-faced man with multiple piercings and bright orange hair stepped onto the stage.
He looked calm and regal so he seemed more like a noble than a murderer.
When he came to stand at the podium a few girls swooned and some people clapped cautiously.
"I am Pein and I am the God who will free you from your misery," he started.
In the crowd, people raised eyebrows at the strange statement.
"America has been rained on for too long... I will bring peace!"
There was supposed an exclamation at the word peace, but his voice was so blank that no one really noticed it.
"There will be no more war and America will see everlasting sunshine. Now worship me! I am your savior!"
People just stared.
Pein's eyes narrowed at the crowd and everyone in the area felt a chill going down their spine.
"I will prove that I am a God," he said as he raised his hands in the air.
"Force Push!"
The stage blew apart and a large plume of dust enveloped the crowd.
Screaming broke out and some people started to run around and away from the 'beloved' president.
"It's the devil!" one loud-mouthed woman screeched and instantly, everyone else watching on TV agreed.
Had Pein not been as composed as he was, he would have smacked his face in annoyance.
Instead, he just walked off the stage with a sigh.
He would have plenty of time to convince all the others that he was God later.
First Order of Business:
Pein walked into his new home and barely glanced around.
He didn't even walk around to see how many rooms there were.
"Mr. President," began one of his guards.
"We are #1, 2, 3, 4 and 5," they introduced themselves.
The new president nodded and said, "You will call me Lord Pein and I order you to take out some money from the budget to post bulletins everywhere about how I am a God and the only one Americans will be allowed to worship is me."
The guards bowed and walked off to do what they were told. They seemed to be rather good at ignoring the oddity of requests and just carrying orders out.
Pein sat on the couch and closed his eyes.
Suddenly, the phone rang and his head snapped to look at the thing.
He picked it up and said, "Lord Pein, speaking."
There was a sudden intake of breath on the other line before the person screeched, "How dare you call yourself a Lord! You're not a god! You're a sham and you are blinding Americans from the true Lord! Devil! Devil! You're the DEV-"
Pein hung up.
He rubbed his temples and briefly wondered how that person had gotten his number.
Pushing the event to the back of his mind, he closed his eyes again and decided to take a quick nap.
"Say no to Pein and yes to the true Lord!"
His brow furrowed as he begrudgingly opened his eyes again.
"Pein is vain! He is alone and insane!"
He walked over to the window and shifted the curtain aside. Where was that insulting yelling coming from?
"He is a sinner and a big fat lie spinner!"
Just as Pein saw the large yelling mob on his yard, his guards walked into the room.
#2 said, "We delivered the message to the people and they gathered in groups like that one."
The President closed the window and said in monotone, "Capture everyone in that mob and have them interrogated. Ask them who their leader is."
Once again, the guards did not question their boss and went to get large nets.
A few hours later, the guards came back and #3 said, "The mob people said that their leader was the Lord Almighty."
Pein's eyes were narrowed. "Who is this lord?"
"They said he is in a place called heaven and that he created the universe. They even have a book," #1 said as he held out the bible.
The President took it and flipped through the pages briefly. "Your next assignment is to find how to get to this 'heaven'. I must have a talk with this 'Lord Almighty'."
President's Goals:
"Mr. President... I mean, Lord Pein, what are your plans for the budget?" the vice-president stated as he gazed at the president's odd attire.
Pein was wearing a black cloak with red clouds on it, which was nothing close to a suit that most presidents wore.
"You will gather all military forces in the Middle East and remove them. When we are there, we create disturbance. Let the middle-Easters solve their own problems," he said tonelessly.
There were a few murmurs of agreement and disagreement, but they fell silent as he continued.
"Then you will take those forces and get them to develop technology that destroys rain. There will be no more rain on American soil."
This time, there were definite whispers of disagreement.
"Lord Pein, the troops in the Middle East have worked very hard... they need to finish their mission. As for the no rain idea, how will farmers water their crops without rain water?" one of the ministers said.
"I am the one in charge so you will do as I say. When I say remove the troops from the Middle East, you will do as you are told," his voice was calm, but there was a small hint of a threat.
Pein paused to think and then continued, "The water will be gathered from the clouds. That water will then be used for farming, but in a more organized manner. When rain falls, it does not always go to farms, but with the new techniques, there will be more economy."
Some of the people that had originally been against the plan stopped the reconsider.
"What about the wild life? They will need rain to survive. And the money... this will cost too much. Too many people and too much of the budget will have to be directed there. Education and healthcare will suffer!" one of the ministers yelled in annoyance.
With narrowed eyes, Pein restated, "You will do as I say."
"Now go. I want this to start right away."
On the news:
"Breaking news! Our sources have just informed us that President Pein has ordered all the troops in the Middle East back to America. Also, the army has been commanded to move out into the air."
The news reporter cleared her throat and continued, "Citizens worry of an attack or a possible war to break out. Why else would the president want the army to mobilize?"
"We will have more information after the commercial break."
After five minutes of McDonald burger ads, the news was back on.
"More news has come in, but it is not what we had expected. The President mobilized the army because he intends to stop all rain in the country. Using new technology, rain clouds will be collected and that water will go to farms and other plant areas. That way, water will not be wasted and the citizens will not have to deal with rain."
"Some are outraged by this interference with nature, but others consider this to be a good idea. Public opinion is torn."
"In other news, mobs of religious protestors gather around churches. They are against President Pein's statement that he is a God. We do not know what the President's response to this is."
At home, Pein turned off the television.
Things were working out, but the issue was that few seemed to be accepting him a God.
He would have to change that- fast.
"Guards," he stated and all five of them appeared in front of him.
"I will hold a press conference regarding my Godly status. Organize it."
They left without a word and the meeting was scheduled for the next day.
Press Conference:
"Now, here is Pres- Lord Pein to speak to the nation," the vice-president announced.
Pein stepped onto the stage and instantly, he was blinded by camera flashes.
"I am Lord Pein," he started blankly.
He was about to continue, but suddenly, everyone started yelling.
"Why are you calling yourself a God?"
"Why are you obsessed with getting rid of the rain?"
"Did getting all those piercings on your face hurt?"
"What do you have to say about all the sudden forest fires that happened right after you ordered people to get rid of clouds?"
"Are you crazy?"
"Are you single?"
"Do you have piercings in other places that would be considered 'naughty'?"
"Why is your face so blank?"
"Are you a homose-" "SILENCE!"
Pein had his arms in the air and a dark shadow was on his face.
Dark, purple eyes glared out at the crowd as he said, "You will respect be for I am your God!"
"Now… cower in fear!" he yelled, "Force Push!"
People and their annoying cameras flew back with astounding force and Pein was left standing in a sphere shaped area void of anything.
Some yelled while others screamed and cursed, but Pein paid no attention to them as he continued his speech.
"Now, to prove to all the religious fools that I am truly God, I will go and speak with their leader 'Lord Almighty' and 'Jesus Christ.'"
He stepped out of the building and started floating up into the sky.
"I will go to heaven and speak with him in person!"
All around the world, people watching gasped.
Would Pein's journey to heaven prove or deny the existence of God?
Suddenly, a massive black cloud appeared and the sound of lightning crashed though the area.
"Pein! You have been foolish with your title as President! I, the Lord, am here to punish you!" a deep, booming voice proclaimed from the clouds.
Even though Pein was usually calm and composed, his jaw slacked at the sight.
"You are the lord," he stated before continuing, "But I am God! You will bow down to me!"
The cloud laughed and a huge bolt of lightning stuck out and right onto Pein.
He fell to the ground; all of his hair burned and falling off.
People in the area screamed while the religious people bowed down to the cloud.
Then, just as quickly as it had come, the cloud disappeared.
About an hour later, Pein became conscious again and stood up.
A small crowd was around him and one of the younger ones said, "Mr. President is bald."
There was a heavy silence as Pein jumped up and grabbed his head.
Bald… he was actually bald!
Embarrassed, he ran out of the crowd and all the way back home.
When he got there, he was met by his guards.
#5 was holding a wig and #4 was holding fake eyebrows.
"Lord Pein, you might need to hold another press conference."
What the Akatsuki members thought:
Itachi: "Pein's idea to make the rain stop was irrational because it caused more damage through forest fires than good. I, for one, enjoy the rain. However, I was amused when the 'lord' struck him with lightning."
Kisame: "He was bald! Hahaha! 'Lord' Pein was bald! What an idiot! I wasn't that stupid… It was entertaining though. I wonder who will tell him that the cloud was made by one of us."
Konan: "I had expected more of Pein… I thought he would have done more to make peace around the world, but instead he became obsessed with his godly status. He deserved being bald after something like that."
Zetsu: "No one died… It was really boring. Was killing one or two people really that hard? It's not fair… I'm still hungry…"
Madara/ Tobi: "It was typical of Pein. He was ridiculous with the rain scheme and his foolish messing with religion was a waste of time. I am glad I made Kisame use a mist jutsu to make the cloud and that Sasuke used the lightning jutsu to hit Pein. Honestly, I thought Pein would have dodged it or realized it was us, but he seemed to have forgotten his ninja skills when he became president."
Sasori: "I still do not care. Nothing any of them have done brings me interest. Though, I was rather glad when the rain was gone. I do not like it when the moisture gets into my puppets."
Deidara: "Trying to get to heaven? Talking to god? What is wrong with Pein? I figured he was always level headed and that he would never try to do something so ridiculous. Too bad he got a wig… he looked really dumb with no hair."
Orochimaru: "He is supposed to be evil! Why didn't he do anything cruel and unusual? Well… he did blow a few people away, but none of them died so I really don't care."
Hidan: "The fucker was bald! Bald! What a fucking idiot! Why the hell didn't he notice our chakras in the cloud? Dumb ass… He should have known. Idiot shit."
Kakuzu: "Just like the others, he did nothing for the economy and he did not act like a criminal! Why does everyone turn all good? (Except Orochimaru)"
To be continued…
Pein's reign as president is over!
Next up, Konan will become the first female president of America!
Thanks for reading!
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