Chapter IV - Haruhi is Making Me Question My Sexuality
"… And so, with great determination and a kick to a place that will not be mentioned, I managed to escape my would-be captive and rescue the treasure from his evil grasp." In other words, I got my diary back from my brother. But Hunny didn't need to know that.
He looked at me with big eyes. "Wow! Audrey-Chan is such a hero!"
I smirked, leaning back in my chair, propping my feet up on the table. "Yes, well, what can I say? I'm American." Okay, I did know what to say. Ah, blue mountains and prairies and shit. Land of the free, home of the brave, and makers of the best burgers in the whole world.
Yes. The burgers are important.
"So, Audrey-Chan, why did you come to Ouran Academy?" Dear Lord, this child was cuteness personified.
I put a finger to my lips and gave a hum. "Well, I heard they had really attractive boys over here." I grinned widely. "I wasn't disappointed."
"Of course she wasn't!" The familiar chorus of voices came from right behind me, causing me to spasm erratically and fall to my death. Well, I would have, but the twins caught the back of my chair before I could hit the ground. I started to whimper, and then I started to laugh as that horrible floating sensation washed over me.
"Oh my god that was just slightly terrifying," I wheezed, clenching the armrests of the chair tightly. The twin's faces were directly above me, staring with identical expressions of amusement.
"What, this?" Together they let me drop another few inches and I gave a scream.
"Don't do that!" I screeched over their laughter.
They both set me upright, chuckling. "You have the most interesting reactions!"
Oh.
They wanted interesting, did they?
Oh, I'd give them interesting.
I slowly rose from my chair, attempting a seductive smirk. Automatically the twins looked at me suspiciously, backing away as I approached.
"Uh-oh, Usa-Chan, Audrey looks scary," Hunny whispered behind me. I ignored him. Locking my fingers behind my back I swayed my hips and sashayed towards Hikaru and Kaoru, tilting my head down and to the side, looking up at them through my lashes.
"Um, Audrey…"
"What are you doing?"
I stepped up to Hikaru and grabbed his tie, jerking him close to me. "Oh, nothing…" I said with a soft smile. "Just… giving you an interesting reaction, that's all…" I pulled him even closer, enjoying the look in his golden eyes as he started to panic.
But then he smirked. Oh, game on.
One of his arms snaked around my waist, tugging me so that my hips were pressed against his. His free hand captured my own and he dipped me. His face went to the crook of my neck, his soft hair brushing my cheek. His brother was suddenly behind me, my back against his chest. His lips brushed against my ear, the warmth of his breath making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
Oh.
Oh my.
But I wouldn't loose in this game. If they wanted a slutty, seductive American, then by god they would get one. I lifted my free hand and cupped Kaoru's cheek, pressing our faces together. I lifted one leg to wrap around Hikaru's waist, and for a good minute the three of us stared at each other. Well, they stared at me, and I went back and forth between the two of them.
It started as a crack. Hikaru's lip started to tremble, an obvious battle to keep his cool visible under the surface. My own face started to morph like I was sucking on a lemon. Kaoru looked like he wasn't breathing. Then, collectively, we all started to laugh, breaking our compromising position. I fell to the floor, holding my stomach, writhing in the throes of hysteria. They soon joined me, and together we laughed and laughed and laughed.
"Did you see that?"
"Oh, how undignified!"
"I don't know, it was kind of…"
"Yeah, I know…"
"Do you think they're together?"
"No way, the twins are meant for each other!"
"But look at that chemistry!"
Despite the sudden whispers of the customers, we continued to giggle like kindergarteners after someone peed in their chair. Actually, that happened once. And it just so happened to be in the chair I lent to him. That fucker.
Kaoru wiped a tear from his eye and sat up, looking at me with a strange stare. "Dang, we haven't-"
"Had that much fun-"
"In a while!
I gave a snort and stood, dusting off imaginary dust from my butt. "Yeah, tell me about it. Your guys' face!" And it was true. That was just so amazingly awkward and fantastic and look how close I got to two really good looking boys boo yeah motherfucker.
Out of nowhere Hunny was attached to my leg giving Hikaru and Kaoru a disapproving stare. But quick as a wink he was looking up at me with adoring eyes. "Hey, Audrey-Chan, lets go see Haruhi! The hairdresser is all done!" He took my arm and pulled me back towards the changing, leaving me to grin at the twins and shrug.
Though I didn't see it, the smiles on the twin's faces melted off as I departed. Both sitting on the floor, they turned to look at their mirror image, expressions identically blank. But like I said, I didn't see it. Or else I may have been able to connect the dots.
"Haruhi, hurry yo white ass up, I am tired and feel like poking my eyes out because they are all boys and ugh." I crossed my arms, my earlier giggle fit over. Every single male in the club had forced their way in and I was stuck in between them all, looking up at the ceiling exasperated.
"Um, Senpai?" Her voice was hesitant behind the curtain, and I could see her shadow on the floor as she fidgeted about.
"Aren't you done changing yet?" Tamaki sighed, hands on his hips. Hunny from behind us moaned from cake overdose.
I elbowed Hikaru hard in the stomach. "Move over!" I grumbled. He shoved me back, and before I could bitch slap that mother in the face, Hikaru slid open the curtain, and…
Holy shit she's hot.
"Are you sure it's okay for me to keep this uniform?"
After a moment I gave a happy squeal and launched myself at her. "Oh my god, Haruhi! You're so hot!" She gave me a panicked sort of look, but let me hug her. Oh my gosh this is just so great. She looked exactly like she did in my head!
"Cute! You're as pretty as a girl!" Tamaki squealed, attempting to join me in my hugging session. I kicked him in the shin.
"No," I said sternly. I nuzzled Haruhi's chest, ignoring her stutters. "My Haruhi."
"Haruhi is so cute!" Hunny sang.
"If we had known that was how you really looked-"
"We would have helped you out sooner."
Kyoya pushed up his glasses like the hottie he was. "Who knows? Maybe he'll draw in some customers."
Tamaki, recovering from my shin kick, stuck up a finger and grinned mischievously. "You know, that is exactly what I was thinking! Our errand boy is moving up the ranks!"
"There are ranks?" I interjected stupidly.
"Starting today you are now an official member of the Host Club!" Ah, ignored again. As Tamaki went on and on about training and hostlyness I detached myself from Haruhi and skipped to the large closet that held some of their costumes. I swung open the doors and gave a gasp.
Imagine if Jesus had a closet. This would be his closet.
It was huge! And completely full! There were Arabian costumes, circus costumes, and cowboy costumes, you name it and it was there! I grabbed a fluffy pink feather boa and wrapped it around my neck before sauntering out. Hmm, I love boas. The real snakes were preferred, of course, but there was nothing like a bright-feathered thing to make an outfit interesting.
"Well, I think that concludes our meeting for today. Haruhi, you start tomorrow," Kyoya said, flipping his little black book shut. I blinked as everyone started to gather their things, talking about nonsense and what not.
And for some reason I just felt… really sad. Just depressed. I reluctantly returned the feathered boa to the closet and shut it all up, scratching my neck as I did. And then, like the others before me, I went to gather my messenger bag. But, as I reached over to pick it up from where it had been resting against the wall, I noticed something.
Even before Haruhi had shown up, they hadn't all been connected like I thought. The Haruhi of now didn't even know them – and they didn't know her. They truly were a gathering of strangers for mutual purpose. Tilting my head to the side, I watched the twins saunter out the door with a wave behind them, cell phones out and open. Tamaki was pestering Kyoya, who pretended to listen attentively. Haruhi had run as soon as she could, and Takashi and Hunny-
"Audrey-Chan! Do you want to walk home with Takashi and I?" A warm hand gripped mine and I smiled at Hunny.
I took my hair out of its bun, running my hands through the tangles. "Um, I don't think we live in the same direction." I paused. "Do we?"
Hunny giggled and pulled me towards the exit. "I asked Kyoya! You live at the Uzumaki place, right? We live just a few doors down! Well, I do, but Takashi lives a bit farther away. So you're on the way! We can go to and from school together! Isn't that fun? Haha!" He started to ramble at me, and I just… stared. Because I wasn't use to this. People wanted to walk with me? People wanting to talk to me? That wasn't the role I played in the drama that was my life. I was a side character, the humorous relief from the tension of everything.
Because no matter what I may say, it's hard not having any connections to people.
A poke to the forehead brought me out of my daze, and I looked up up up into Takashi's eyes. He stared at me for a moment before he slid my bag off my shoulder and started to walk.
I shook my head. "W-wait! Wait for me!" I cried, chasing after them. Pulling a Hunny, I leapt on the giants back, who didn't even stumble. He paused for a moment to adjust to my weight and carry our bags accordingly, but then he put his hands under my knees and started to walk.
"Wow, Audrey-Chan! You look so tall up there!"
I nodded, grinning widely. "The weather is fantastic." Oh yes, I went there.
And so ends day one of my adventures at Ouran Academy.
Audrey Harp, out.
Ahhh this is kinda late (and short sobs), sorry guys. School is a bitch and what is time. Either way, your guys... you few who review make my world go round. I could kiss you! Actually, no, that would be awkward. So... THE HOST CLUB SHALL KISS YOU smooch smooch.
Chapter Question: Actually, same question as last time! If Audrey does fall in ~love, who do you think she will (or you want her to) end up with? Hikaru seems to be pretty popular with all ya'll, even though he feels completely insulted by her lol. Also, any preference on what episodes/chapters/scenes I should do in my story? I'm really just kinda... having fun with this haha
Review Responses~
Shadow Fox 2013; Its okay. I forgive you, and I love you c: AND HERE YOU GO HOPE ITS OKAY
xxrxuxsxtxyx; Yes, they are both sassafrasses. They demand respect. RESPECT. Hmm, if that is what you think, I hope this chapter satisfied the fangirl inside of you :3
L; Ah, my favorite reviewer (hint hint guys- COME ON STEP IT UP)! Yes, that really bugs me. Hence the summary. YUKI HAS A DARK PAST OH EM GEE. Thats why I made this story - and I only really make/post stories when I feel like there is something unique about my idea. I'm trying to actually write it as someone from America might act and how others would react to her, while at the same time having crazy insanity fun. And yes, that romance idea... is great :o I really like that! I'll consider it :33 Either way, since you mentioned Mori, I hope that you enjoyed the last bit of that there XD It was just for you!
TheNekoPrincessofDarkness; Ahh! Well, if there is anything you think you/Audrey would do in a situation, let me know! I would be interested in hearing about it! And I think its really cool you have an ability like that c: As for her falling for Kaoru, I will admit, that was my first idea when I started this story (you might be able to tell through the little reactions if you reread a bit) but now I'm not sure. It depends on where everything goes!
Kitsune232; haha thank you! I try and be funny, which I am not in real life. But I kinda am? I just... yeah haha. Me and Audrey have a really similar sense of humor. And Oh, I didn't even think of Kyoya! Okay, that is a lie, I did. She made him laugh. Cause I mean... just look at her! She's a freakin' weirdy.
White Aura Dragon; Aww I got all the gushy feelings inside -insert heart face here seeing how it doesn't ever show up on the website- Here you go! I hope its okay c: Real drama starts ~tomorrow when Haruhi skips the club and shit happens and BAM things happen and yeah
So, my beautiful reviewers, continue to review and make me happy. You seriously brighten up my shitty life with your gushing over Audrey's naughty humor and which boy she should be with. It really inspires me! And I pinky swear that I will start to update faster/won't take this long. If I do, you have permission to bug me (in as nice a way as possible). I also promise that if there will be a lengthy absence, you will be forewarned!
Ciao!