Chechtiel: "TERROR! FEAR! DESPAIR!
godlessAdversary: "Did you just watched news about politics?"
Chechtiel: "That was a cheap joke."
godlessAdversary: "What are you actually talking about?"
Chechtiel: "Because somebody will be in terror, fear and despair in this chapter and thinks others should be as well."
godlessAdversary: "Helen Lovejoy?"
Chechtiel: "That joke was better, at least for anyone who ever saw the Simpsons."
godlessAdversary: "Anyway: Enjoy Shade 4.
Shade 4: Suitcase Situation
Rose awoke in complete darkness. A cramped darkness. A darkness that felt like somebody was taking a flight. She tried to move to figure out which parts of her body Kanaya had shackled this time. Her ankles were tied together with some rope and her lower legs were bound together with tape while her upper legs were bound with even more tape. Her arms were vertically positioned on her back, bound together with several rounds of rope while she was also gagged with a sponge and a handkerchief.
By the way: She was naked. Once again.
She was wearing nothing on her body, aside from the red ring of Matespritship, a symbol that her red quadrant was filled.
iYou're getting more creative Kanaya, or at least more scary./i
Rose concentrated hard and a little flame appeared before her face, hovering in the air.
iI still have my magic, I can escape at any time./i
She now registered that she was being moved and transported to some location. She wondered where she would land and what was in store for her.
A paradise island where she would have to run around naked?
A dungeon?
A supermarket where she would be forced into an "embarrassed nude female" situation?
The later one could get her and Kanaya in trouble with the law and she wasn't in the mood to deal with Terezi as a prosecutor.
She prepared herself for any sort of surprise location she would be let out in.
As the suitcase was finally opened, she raised up to see a lot of little children. Kindergarteners to be exact. They didn't stare in shock or disgust but rather in surprised curiosity at the naked mage in the suitcase.
Meanwhile the kindergarten teacher was freaking out.
"PERVERTED! SCANDALOUS! OUTRAGEOUS! UNCIVILIZED! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!"
Rose looked at the little kids who didn't seem to mind what was happening. One scratched his nose, another asked why there was a naked goddess sitting in this suitcase and another if she created thunder, rain and chocolate.
The kindergarten teacher meanwhile was only running around, screaming hysterically how a naked and bound woman would corrupt the children and whatnot instead of helping Rose and giving her something to wear.
At this point, it should be noted that the human Sburb players also wanted to revive some hardcore conservatives to have clowns to laugh at.
At a fancy four star hotel, Kanaya was resting on a bed while wearing a pink bathrobe and her face was covered in a cream that she didn't know if it worked and probably didn't need because of her beautiful rainbow drinker face. She was waiting for her suitcase, and it was taking some time. She got anxious and called her handyman through her phone.
"Equius, what is taking you so long?"
"I already delivered the requested suitcase, Mrs. Maryam-Lalonde."
"Equius, I don't see any suitcase here. Are you sure you delivered it to the right address?"
"Of course. I delivered it to Sunny Days Institution, a nice pre-school in the human kingdom."
Kanaya facepalmed and tried not to crush the phone with the same restrain Equius had.
"I said Sunny Day Inn, a hotel in the human kingdom."
"Oh."
"Equius, you just delivered my naked and unconscious matesprit to a school with children."
"She was unconscious? I thought she was just roleplaying."
Kanaya felt like a migraine was forming in her head.
"I have to go deal with this before Rose and I get into more trouble with that school and the parents of the kids."
"I am really REALLY sorry for what I did!" Kanaya said to the school principal, Mrs. Allende, while holding a decorated apology basket that contained three boxes of chocolate and a stuffed salamander.
Rose was sitting next to her matesprit/wife and was annoyed that their non-sexual BDSM resulted in them getting in problems with a school.
"Mrs. Maryam-Lalonde and Mrs. Lalonde-Maryam, I know this is a misunderstanding, and that we are the only school in the district with a conservative teacher that would make a scandal on social media, but we can't turn a blind eye, even if you two are goddesses of our universe. Some parents aren't happy that the role model of some of their kids appeared in a compromised position in a classroom."
"Oh, then do I have to make more apology baskets?" Kanaya smiled nervously.
"The parents would appreciate that, but as I said, disciplinary action has to be taken."
"I have an idea." said Rose with a smile.
"Hello, I am Kanaya Maryam-Lalonde."
Kanaya talked through a microphone on a podium in front of a public crowd consisting of parents, their kids and the teachers. "I want to apologize for sending my Matesprit to this institution in a compromising position. It was a pretty terrible accident that could have been avoided if a certain blue blood-"
"Ahem!" Rose, who was next to Kanaya, made a "don't finish that sentence" gesture.
"Back to my apology. As an act of charity to the students of Sunny Days, my Matesprit and I will donate a book collection to your library, and we will contribute to the baking sale of this year. Also, everyone will get an apology basket."
A carapacian appeared, pushing a table that had over dozens of baskets. That morning, Rose and Kanaya had to sign many autographs on stuffed consort dolls for both the kids and the adults. The adults were understanding people that knew it was an accident, and many were followers of the gods; the kids on the other hand didn't understand what had happened, but they liked receiving toys and chocolate. The only one that wasn't having fun was the conservative teacher.
"LESBIANS! CORRUPTION! PROPAGANDA! XENOPHILIA!"
"She is like a comedy show." said Mrs. Allende to Rose and Kanaya.
Back at the home base of the magician and the seamstress, the atmosphere was awkward.
Rose was not angry at Kanaya, not even disappointed, but more baffled over the entire situation.
Until now, everything had happened in private, but that changed now, even if it wasn't on purpose.
Rose did not really fear the tabloid press, but the increase of jokes they would get to hear from their friends from now on was another story.
Kanaya was making dinner for the both of them and felt like giving up on her bondage dreams. None of them had really worked out so far and after the last incident, she doubted she could even get any amusement out of Rose's annoyances.
If she wanted to do anything, it had to be here, in their home, but there was not much she would like to do.
Except…
A smile formed on her lips.
"Kanaya, how long until dinner is ready?"
"Any second now… And tomorrow's breakfast will be unforgettable!"
"I should ask, but as long as it stays in these four walls, I will give you free range."
"I promise, Rose!" shouted the Alternian vampire enthusiastically. "I promise you a lot…"
As Rose awoke the next morning, she was naked but that wasn't a surprise, since she and Kanaya cuddled in sleep in their Eva costumes.
What was a surprise was that Rose sat in an oversized bowl filled with honey.
"I heard of honey-traps, but this is ridiculous."
"This is not a trap, my sorceress supreme. This honey is on your body to refine the taste."
Rose looked to the source of the voice, quickly spotting Kanaya. She was dressed like a chef, with the classic white hat and white long-sleeved shirt, and to show a little silliness, she also wore a pumpkin apron.
"I hope you don't plan to criticize my abilities as a cook now."
"I am not cosplaying as Chef Ramsay," assured Kanaya to her wife. "But I am playing the role of a cannibal now."
"You want food play?"
"No, Vore."
Rose was absolutely silent for several seconds. "Come again?"
"I will swallow you, whole and alive," explained Kanaya chirpy while doing a little dance in anticipation. "I will keep you in my belly before regurgitating you later."
Rose gave her blood-red quadrant an arrogant but also sarcastic look. "Why not get me out through the traditional exit?"
"Next time, I don't have enough lubricant for my bottom at the moment."
Rose was not very worried about this. She still had her magic and she was also sure that Kanaya would never kill her on purpose. But there was one nagging question.
"How will you get your stomach to stop from digesting me?"
"I got a drug from Doctor Yamato to stop the digesting juices for a few hours. I will have you regurgitated long before my stomach starts to work again."
Rose was still surprised that she took this so calmly. This time it was not some kinky bondage play, but a fetishized form of cannibalism. It wouldn't harm her, but this was a whole new level of "creative".
"Now, my Sorceress Supreme. I shall devour you."
Kanaya opened her mouth as far as she could but not wide enough to get Rose's head into it. Rose noticed how she was struggling to spread her mouth even further.
"Kanaya, can you actually spread your mouth wide enough for this?"
Kanaya continued to open her mouth, but it didn't spread any wider despite all her effort. She tried it harder and harder, her face displaying signs of visible strain now.
"Kanaya, would you please stop this? You will tear your mouth apart if you try to widen it even further and then-"
There was something that sounded like a door dislocating from its hinges by accident, but it sounded very wooden, more like a wooden screw unscrewed itself from a very delicate hole while a tightening sound was also heard.
"Did you dislocate your jawbone, and also received a trismus?"
Kanaya nodded.
"I'll call Doctor Yamato."
"Ssso, let me get me thiss sstraight," Said Doctor Fjodor Yamato while bandaging Kanaya's head. "You actually tried to Vore your matessprit?"
Kanaya did El Chavo's famous finger gesture and nodded with her right index finger. Rose, on the other hand, was facepalming over how ridiculous this situation was.
"I thought she was going to hire Jade to increase her own size," said Rose. "But I guess Kanaya's role as Sylph of Space doesn't mean she understands the properties of physical space."
"I alsso thought she was joking when sshe assked for medicccine to sstop her digessstion. I thought sshe only had heartburn and needed some antacidss to reduce her accid levelsss."
"What?! You mean I could have died if she ate me?!"
"I am a medical professssional! DO NO HARM!" Screamed the Jade blooded doctor.
Kanaya made a sad sound to express the pain in her jaw.
"Sseriously, before my ssssquadron and I were resscued from my timeline, I ssaw many horrible and sstupid thingss in Alternia and other alien planetss, but thisss issss the crown of abssurdity."
Kanaya frowned at the words of the doctor.
"Will she heal, Dr. Yamato?"
"Of coursse. Your Matessprit isss a Rainbow Drinker, so sshe will heal fassst asss long ass she doessn't try another mouth related fetish. Ssseriously! Do you ladies have any idea how many trollss come here after trying ssomething sstupid with their matesspritss?! There wass one olive blood and her human matesprit and they…"
Rose wasn't in the mood for an uncomfortable medical anecdote, and Kanaya was trying not to laugh because of the pain. Kanaya was also getting future ideas from this story.
"Hmmm…" thought Jade Harley deeply outloud while her feet rested on her fancy desk. "Should I use my powers to be a giant woman again?"
"What?" asked Tagora Gorjek while doing some accounting.
"I mean, I could be so big and dominant in a relationship. A big woman four meters tall and with giant..."
Tagora typed fast to ignore his boss' lewd comments while being more flustered than with his kismesis.
"Yeah, that could work. All I wanna do is to see you turn into a giant woman…"
"Okay Kanaya, according to Dr. Yamato, you should be able to eat solids in a week or two." Rose took out some fruits from the refrigerator. "So would you like a smoothie?"
Kanaya nodded with her finger since she can't move her head too much. Rose wanted to make a joke about El Chavo, but was worried that Kanaya would get the idea of putting Rose in a wooden barrel and transport her to a Vecindad. Rose would ask John later if he brought El Chavo and his friends from their canon to Earth C too.
"You know, Kanaya, I have been thinking. We could go to a spa once you recover. A bit of relaxation and not stressful kinky situati-"
Kanaya, who was wearing a famous funny hat over her bandaged head, was already carrying a big wooden barrel and tip toeing close to Rose. The Jadeblood saw the glaring eyes of matesprit and lowered the barrel down.
"No surprise BDSM events until you recover, young lady. Now, we are going to drink our smoothies and watch some TV tonight as civilized puritan middle aged lesbians.*
Rose and Kanaya sat on the couch of their home/hive and were watching Earth C's Univision while Rose caressed Kanaya's head in a romantic red way and not a romantic pale way that would make Karkat accuse Rose of being a homewrecker.
"Noticias de último minuto. (Breaking news.)" said a news reporter in Spanish. "Hay una mujer gigante casi desnuda en la cima del edificio de la compañía Jade House, y se cree que se parece a la diosa y CEO Jade Harley. (There's a giant almost naked woman at the top of the Jade House Company Headquarters building, and it's believed that she looks like the goddess and CEO Jade Harley.)"
Rose and Kanaya were surprised by that news, and even Kanaya felt a big pain of instinctively opening her mouth in awe. The news reporter was now interviewing a teal blooded troll that the readers would recognize as Tagora Gorjek.
"I told her it was a bad idea! The costs of repairing the roof will be higher than her BDSM dungeon!"
"¿Acaso dijo calabozo BDSM? (Did you just say BDSM dungeon?)"
"Tacos burritos quesadillas tienen queso, f-fin de la entrevista! (Tacos burritos quesadillas have cheese i-interview over!)"
Rose and Kanaya were speechless. Well, Kanaya was already speechless, but she was now just not making any movement with her vocal cords.
"And now, El Chavo del Ocho!"
Rose was humming the theme show of El Chavo, but stopped once she saw Kanaya holding the wooden barrel over her and wearing the ridiculous hat again.
"Hazlo de una vez, Bebedora de Arcoíris lujuriosa. (Do it already, you lusty Rainbow Drinker.)" said Rose with a sigh of defeat and a small smile.
Kanaya contained Rose inside the barrel, but had previously made a hole so Rose would watch El Chavo with her. Both were happy doing this.
Chechtiel: "Moral Guardians. Annoying when they have power but amusing then they only can flail incompetently."
godlessAdversary: "Also even if a fetish sounds fun they should always be planned out in advance, especially the more elaborate ones."
Chechtiel: "Doctor Fjodor Yamato is my OC, a troll I created."
godlessAdversary: "We used him here because there was no canon troll or canon human who could work as a regular physician."
Chechtiel: "I hope you liked this Shade and my OC as well."
godlessAdversary: "Until we meet again in Shade 5."