04: Penny for Your Thoughts

Vicki's eyes fluttered open slowly. She had slept through the night much better than she thought she would, even her hand looked great. The swelling was gone, there was no pain, and the bruises weren't even there anymore. If you hadn't known that she had hurt it two days ago you wouldn't have ever been able to guess. Told the twerp he was worrying over nothing…

She sat up in bed and tilted her head back as she tried to fill in the blanks of last night. Dammit, I never should have left him alone…Its bad enough his parents left with only some crappy note as a goodbye but I just disappeared on him entirely. What was I thinking? Argh, my things could have waited...

A tired sigh escaped her throat. Vicki had just been trying to make things easier by leaving to get her things while he was asleep. Instead, she had just caused a full blown meltdown. I could have at least woken him up to tell him I would be right back… but, no…I had to be stupid. The girl ran her fingers through her red hair and let out an aggravated groan. No, I'm being too hard on myself. Of course packing as much as I can for three months would take more than a few hours… Still, I could have left a note.. No.. then I would be just as bad as his parents, wouldn't I?

Her pink irises scanned the room from the bed for some sort of clock. Just over the door was a clock. A little after eleven, huh? Might as well get out of bed. The twerp is probably starving.

She crawled out of bed and popped her back as she stretched for the ceiling before heading for the door. She strode over to his door and was about to knock when the memory of him crashing into her last night flashed before her eyes. She rubbed her temples; She would never forgive herself for her mistake now.. The look of terror and desperation on his beat up face before he hit me is gonna stick with me forever. He looked so afraid… For once in his life he was running towards me in fear instead of running away.. She smiled, in a sad sort of way it made her feel special. Vicki wasn't happy with the circumstances that caused it, but it did feel good to be genuinely needed. She'd never been hugged by him, even when they were playing nice in front of his parents. He avoided as much physical contact from her as possible. In fact, everyone did. Vicki couldn't remember being hugged by anyone else, aside from Tootie. Despite all that, the bruises, the black eyes, the bad days, and the days she had been downright cruel to him on, she had never seen Timmy Turner cry. He was like a sponge, he was able to suck it all up and keep moving on, and there was something admirable about that.

To finally see him break however left her feeling sick, like she was being torn in two. As she stood outside his door, she felt a sudden soreness in her arms and legs. It must be from carrying him up the stairs. He's not a little kid anymore, I really shouldn't have carried him to his bed. She mumbled under her breath,"It was just too hard to watch him struggling like that."

As she was about to knock on the door, a voice echoed from down the hall. "Pathetic.."

She twirled around to see no one. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. It sounded like it was coming from down the hall but there was no one there.

All at once she heard it again, like a chattering of teeth right in her ear, "Do you even hear yourself?"

She swung around, "Who's there?!"

"So the kid gets a 'big bad boo-boo' on his noggin and you turn in the overbearing mommy type?" The chattering wasn't right next to her, no, the voice was coming from inside her head. "You're absolutely pathetic, Vicki."

She tried to ignore the voice, "No, I may be going soft but I am sure as hell not going crazy.."

"Going soft?! Open your eyes! You get paid to make sure he stays in line and doesn't make a mess of things while his parents are gone. Period. Why do you even care about him? He's still breathing, he'll live. Is it because he reminds you of yourself?"

Vicki froze while it cackled, "Mmm, you know how the saying goes… 'Not everything buried is actually dead. For many, the past is alive.' But let's not dwell on the past, lest we get stuck there and die along with it."

She shook in a vain attempt to silence the voice.

"You've walked this road once before…Didn't you learn your lesson the first time? The path of the kind, the soft, and the weak is riddled with pain and misery as they march onward defenseless. Though they remain blind to the pain, lost in a mindless bliss that keeps them 'safe' and 'numb', it steadily dwindles the walls down and all at once will one day swallow them whole. It will crush and tear their hearts to pieces. The fools, they walk into the fire with wide open arms and smiles on their faces. Do you really want this again?"

Vicki struggled to breathe as she leaned against the wall.

"Don't be a fool. Don't throw away what you've worked for so long to keep. If you put your guard down for a second, you will be consumed as well."

There was a sudden tightness in her throat that made each breath hurt as it entered her lungs. Her eyes went wide as she saw the door to Timmy's room creep open. Vicki stumbled over and into his room to find him still asleep on his bed. She stood over him and saw his face, still darkened here and there with purplish discolorations.

"You have a prime warning of weakness right in front of you…See the scars that will settle into his flesh. The fool wears his heart on his sleeve and suffers endlessly for it. He'll only drag you down with him… In fact… he's only holding us back…"

Her arm twitched at her side and out of control it lunged for his throat as he slept. Her pink eyes lit up in a panicked horror. Seemingly still peacefully asleep, his eyes remained closed as her fingers wrapped around his neck. She struggled to pull away from him as unconsciously her grip on his throat tightened. "No! No, stop!" She saw the color slowly drain from his face. With one last frantic pull, she yanked away from him and fell onto her back. She clambered to her feet and ran for the door.

"Don't be weak!" the voice roared in her skull. "Kill the parasite before it burrows into your heart! We vowed never to go back to being a goddamn door mat! We just took it and took it! 'But, never again!' those were your words, not mine! Why won't you remember?!"

She crashed into the front door before she ran outside barefoot into the pouring rain. Her lungs burned as she cut through the yard. She covered her ears to block out the horrible voice.

It repeated, "Why won't you remember? Oh...It's clear to me now… It's because all that's on your mind these days is Timmy this, and Timmy that!"

"Stop it!" she screamed against the roaring of thunder in the distance as her bare feet slammed against the wet concrete.

"Since when does Vicki Valentine run away? Shouldn't you be back there whipping him up another breakfast like a good little housewife? Oh, I get it. I know what you're doing! You're picking up the morning paper, aren't you? Isn't it a great life to be a servant? A slave? Well, don't let me stop you... It's not like we were destined for greatness or anything!"

Vicki ran until her legs burned her body begged her to stop. She coughed in a fit as she leaned against the brick fence of a random home. The pain in her chest grew worse with every puff of breath she took. The rain poured down on her head. The rain dimming the vibrancy of her fiery locks as she slumped to the ground and clutched at her chest. She was spent. Vicki couldn't run another step and couldn't block out the voice as she covered her ears.

"You can't block me out.. I'm still here. (sigh) He's got you whipped and doesn't even have a clue! It's not too late though, this whole thing can still be salvaged. Remind him just what kind of monster you can be, he still looks at you with that glimmer of fear in his eyes. That look of fear isn't something that's just earned overnight, that's something born from years and years of threats and being a heartless bitch. It's been engrained deep in his psyche, deep down he knows you're a monster. You've gone and confused the little nitwit with all this 'nice' shit, he's getting comfortable around you. I say it's time we got back to our roots and remind him what you're truly like. You planted the idea, but it's time to crack the whip and clear up the silly notion in his head that you might still have a real heart beating in your chest."

Vicki lurched forward onto her hands and knees and felt her stomach churn. She gasped for air between coughs. "Shut the hell up!" she gasped between coughs.

Disregarding her, it continued "Though you did have a good start, you've had so many opportunities to crush him, but you let them slip past. 'I'm not being nice, I'm just saving myself a headache?' Really, bravo. That was some pretty quick thinking but I know we can do better. That was child's play, we all know it. You're a monster 24/7, 365 days a year. So why choose now to 'go soft'? You keep everyone at arm's length or farther, you watch everything from behind your mask, and you'd step on people's throats to get what you want. That's not what makes you a monster though, Vicki. It's what's lying beneath the surface, underneath that cracking mask. That's what people should be afraid of. You know it just as well as I do that you are broken. You can play pretend if you want. You can pretend that what's underneath is just a little girl that wants to feel and be loved and I know it doesn't sound so dangerous. I mean, he's the only one around for months, but that's exactly what makes it dangerous. What's there to benefit by showing him what you were like anyway? It won't last, it can't… Because that little girl died years ago. What took her place doesn't need love, friendship, or anyone. All it needs is power. All we need is power."

Vicki's chest heaved as she coughed and tasted the all too familiar flavor of metal on her tongue. "Stop it.." the words came out cracked and weak.

"Me? Stop what? I have no real power.. I'm… well I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.. All I can really do is sit and watch as a helpless passenger in the backseat. I'm just along for the ride to watch you run us off the road. I may have my moments where I can really shine through, but mostly I'm stuck watching you make mistake after mistake."

Vicki cried in pain as her blood spilled from her lips onto the concrete beneath her as she gritted her teeth and tried not to vomit up her lungs.

Been a long time since we saw our own blood, hasn't it? …you know, I'm not so sure you're even up to the task anymore… It's not like our original plan wasn't all that complicated. Steal, con, and swindle anyone we can for as much as we can. Once we had gathered up enough funding, we would escape this little burg of a town. Hell, if we were lucky we would be watching it burn down in the rear-view mirror. Now tell me, whatever happened to that plan? Sadly, I know the answer to that one too. He got under your skin, you let him wiggle under your skin. You let the little parasite burrow inside, you just need to tear him out now before he ruins everything… If you won't, I gladly will. I'm starting to think it's already too late… He's made you weak…"

Her vision blurred as her hands clenched into fists. Blood flew from her mouth and speckled the ground as she stumbled to her feet. The pain was near unbearable as she shivered in the cold. She felt as if she was drowning but the rage boiling inside her was enough to power her through it.

"Ooh, struck a nerve did we? Oh, don't try and deny it. What's the point, Vicki? You'd be lying to both of us, you've been whittled down. There's no shame in admitting that, just hand over the reins to me. Besides, it's not like you can resist me for much longer, anyway. Why are you crashing us into the ground? Can't you see it? You're walking straight into a trap, again. You let Tootie get her foot in the door and now you can't shake the nosy little bitch. She's become self-entitled, who is she to think she can try and pull back the mask? We don't need to be saved. Once, I put the twerp back in his place, I'll make her suffer too.

Vicki gasped in pain as she stumbled against the wall, "Not…" She burst into a fit of coughs as parts of her throat splattered against the wall, "if I have.." She swallowed hard, "anything to say about.. it..." The redhead was nearing her limit as she staggered down the sidewalk.

"Don't you try and walk away from me! Why defend them?! Do you really think they care about you? The girl only sees us damaged goods that she needs to keep tabs on. The stupid boy only sees a bipolar abomination and plays the friendly card to minimize his pain. He'll just use you. What do you even see happening if you stay the course as it is? All I can see on the horizon in the stupid dreamland you've conjured up is a dreary little life in the suburbs… Typical low budget household with a cliché white picket fence. Oh you must be joking… There's a little girl running round while you have a snot nosed little boy on your hip as you wait for 'hubby' to come back from work… It's disgusting… Why would you even want that? It's not like you can ever have that sort of life anyhow. Don't you see? You'd just be throwing away what we've been working on for years. If you let this happen, this place will only wind up as your grave. You're already dead inside, why even try?"

Vicki struggled through the numbness that was overtaking her body as she struggled to head back to the house. As she stifled her coughing fits, she was otherwise silent. As she ignored the voice in her mind, she had only angered it further.

"And yet you're actually still going through with it? Why won't you see reason?! You're throwing it away for what?! Some stupid child who can't even stand to be alone?!" The voice cackled and dropped to a sinister whisper. "When I take control I'll be sure to force you watch as I make him suffer! I'll make him scream and beg in agony!"

Vicki froze with fear, slumping against the wall for support.

"You're usefulness is coming to an end as is. So, go ahead, run back to him… Let him open his heart to you.. Yes, it will make it all that much sweeter to wretch it from his chest. I can almost hear the screams now. It will be so amazing to watch the look of betrayal on that disgusting face of his. Since you're so keen on running things into the ground, I say we might as well do it right. Once you're gone, there will be no one left to keep him safe from me.. No one to stop me from beating him to an inch of his life.. I think you and I both know how out of hand I can get when you let me loose.. I will admit, it was excruciatingly fun to inflict pain on that gray skinned fool. Oh, to watch that look of fear on his face was practically intoxicating. You weren't afraid of yourself, Vicki, you were afraid of me. You know full well what my intentions were. Oh, I can't wait to watch that same look of terror on the boy's bucktoothed little face… or well, what will be left of it once I'm done. It will be so much better than it was with Francis, I can only imagine the pure bliss of watching the life leave those blue eyes of his…"

"No!" Her eyes opened wide in horror as she screamed. She bolted up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat. She clenched the sheets tightly as she gasped and choked for air. She fought the sobs that shook her shoulders. "…It was only a dream…" she wrapped her arms around herself and rocked gently. The words repeatedly fell from her lips. "…It was only a dream…" She scanned the room from behind her tussled bangs as they clung to her face. Her tear filled eyes fell on the clock and she let out a quiet startled yelp. It was just a little after eleven, just like the dream. She was on the brink of a mental breakdown. "NO… No, it was just a nightmare…. Just a horrible nightmare!" She pressed her fists to her temples as if to shake away the words that crawled to the front of her mind, but she couldn't.

'-pure bliss watching the life leave those blue eyes-'

Vicki slumped back into her pillow as her adrenaline faded. She motioned to rub her eyes but cringed when she felt a pain in her hand. The pain brought a crazed smile to her lips. "It was just a dream!" She laughed almost in disbelief as her tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks. It was still swollen and was now partially numb; definitely not a good sign but at the same time she couldn't stop smiling at it. She sat up, her back was aching. She must have been tossing and turning throughout the night, and now she had a crick in her back. Her body was sore even though she had taken a hot shower and slept in a good bed. Her body felt terrible but she still couldn't wipe the smile from her face, not that she wanted to. She rubbed the small of her back and stretched as she got out of bed. With a nervous chuckle she muttered, "Heh, I really should take care of this..."

Shuffling to the bathroom, she ran her knuckles under cool water and sighed as she was soothed slightly of her pain. Her stomach growled ferociously and reminded her of her hunger. "I guess I haven't really eaten much since yesterday morning. I just packed the whole time…and then when I got back…" She half expected the voice to cut in but was thankful to be met by only silence.

As she entered the hall she saw that his door was still closed, she really couldn't stand to see him right now. I still need a few minutes to get a solid grip. She sighed and made her way past his room and down the stairs. She stopped in front of the bags and contemplated hefting them up the stairs into the guest room but opted against it. She would do it after breakfast was ready, then it would give her an excuse to leave the room while he ate. I am getting too attached, I need to distance myself from him again before… she shook away the thought. One thing at a time…I'd better get started. Vicki pushed open the kitchen door but froze when her eyes landed on Timmy.

AN: I'm sorry if this got a little more dark..