Disclaimer: Jillius is the property of Namco.
Author's Note: Right. I lied. I couldn't resist. xD There were just too many possibilities screaming to be written down.
Read on to find out Jillius's instruction manual.
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The Jillius Owner's Guide
To the owner:
As expensive as it was, thank you for purchasing the 'Jillius' unit. Please read this instruction manual throughly to ensure many years od happiness and joy with your Jillius unit. Namco Inc. is pleased to have brought out the new, revised units, and guarantees that all the bugs in the previous version has been fixed.
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Specifications and Aesthetics:
Name: Jillius
Alias: Emperor Jillius
Type: Male, appears to be hybrid, Non-Lunatean.
Age: 21
Manufacturers: Klonoa Works Inc, Namco, Japan.
Date of Manufacture: 2001. No revising was needed for this unit. We'll revise this unit again when Namco actually starts taking notice of him.
Description: Anthro-hybrid, lavender fur. Handsome, calm and docile. Wise beyond his years. Phillosophic. Wears long, flowing, mauve robes. Occasionally carries a staff around. See the 'Mode' section below to see how this appearence can be changed.
Height/Weight: 1m 55cm. Weight is known to us, but the units will find it offensive if we tell you. Still young, but very tall, coming second only to Janga.
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Mode:
The Jillius unit has a variety of different settings, and they can be remarkably strange, because this unit is programmed to have multiple personalities. You might find one side of the unit extremely tiring, while another side interests you.
Mode I. Calm, accepting and kind. Somewhat maternal.
Mode II. Hopeless romantic. The unit might present another with a velvet rose quite suddenly if set to this mode.
Mode III. 'Empire of Dreams' version - insomniac, irritable but still calm and reasonable. Ideal for inspirations.
Mode IV. Emo. Doesn't speak often, but when it does, it uses cruel wit and humour, ideal for a critic, cynic or pessimistic.
Mode V. Pure evil.
Two things will remain the same, regardless of the settings. The Jillius unit will always be wise. It has been for a very long time. Also, it will remain permanently in denial of homosexual behaviour. See 'Operating your Unit' for further information.
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Accessories:
Your Jillius unit, although of royalty, is far from vain. The only accessory he will have is:
1 Staff
The item is replaceable, but as the Jillius unit normally takes very good care of it, it may not be necessary. Contact 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR for further information.
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Unpacking Procedures:
Your Jillius unit will arrive to you in its own protective crate, fresh right from the factory. To keep his moving parts pristine and clean, you might wish to give it a bath and grooming before activating the unit. You do not need to do this manually. Just activate the unit, and the first thing it will do is to go into the bathroom and take a bath and check its grooming is in fine shape. This will take an hour or so. Do not intrude on it, or it will instantly go crazy and end up throwing you out of the bathroom. Your unit does not need to swim, as it can just walk or wade over water, but that is no excuse for leaving the tap running.
Warning: Female owners, married or committed to a partner are recommended to keep your partner out of the house when carrying out this procedure. Namco Inc. does not take responsibility for divorce/fight/injury prodedures due to this.
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Operating Your Unit:
Apart from the aesthetic value of your Jillius unit, it can be utilized in many ways.
Caretaker/Guardian: This option is not just for your children and drunk partner. The Jillius unit, along with the Pango unit, is caring and kind. If you have any other Namco Inc. models in your house, chances are the Jillius unit will take care of them and teach the units continously. This works wonders with almost any model. See 'Interaction and Compatibility with Other Models' for more information.
Sentinel: Jillius units are more than just a bodyguard. Bodyguarding models need to switch off once in a while, but this unit will be permanently on guard for postmen/milkmen/etc. This is a very rare option to be found in any of our models. The Guntz unit and the Pango unit can serve as sentinels if well-trained and well-behaved, but this is quite rare.
Therapist: When set to Mode II, you can talk to the Jillius unit about anything. Normally, it will answer and tell you ways to solve your problem. Unfortunately, due to a programming bug/error in the original versions, this unit cannot cope with homosexual issues.
Artist/Musician: Being born of royalty, the unit has a talent for art and music. He might draw your fanart for you as long it's not dirty, and may be found at the piano singing extremely vulgar songs if set to Mode III. Shut it up with the threat of a Slash Update Kit.
Teacher: Over a few years the Jillius unit has said some very wise things to their owners. Here's a few samples.
"You can't attempt to reason with people who are beyond reason." (Mode I)
"Take off your shirt. Put it back on. If you're still wondering why there isn't a girl in your life, you obviously need to seek some sort of help." (Mode II)
"Just what is the sound of one hand clapping?" (Mode III)
"You should always borrow money from pessimistics and cynics. They don't expect it back." (Mode IV)
And this is the default response you must expect whenever you start talking about anything relatively homosexual. (Like the Slash Update Kit ver 3.56, slash in general, George Bush, etc)
"But I'm not a closeted homowhatever." (All models)
Warning: If you live in Japan, there's a chance of fangirl mobbing. The Jillius unit will take care of them calmly, but if it's in Mode III, there might be some blood.
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Interaction and Compatibility with Other Models:
For a Non-Lunatean unit, the Jillius unit's ability to socialize well is remarkable. However, if the unit hates another unit, it will hate them to the point where it goes crazy. Be warned.
Musica unit: Another Non-Lunatean unit, but can be a romantic interest to the Jillius unit. They'll work well when the Jillius unit is set to Mode II. Mind they don't elope, though.
Klonoa unit: Can be a friend to the Jillius unit. Your unit will take care of the Klonoa unit well, and possibly teach it to control its skills. A Slash Update Kit will not work, however, because the Jillius unit will reject the kit.
Guntz unit: This unit can be more or less the same as Klonoa. But when your unit is set to Mode III or IV and the Guntz unit makes a snide remark, automatic malfunction procedures will follow and they will start a screaming match regardless of where they are. Beware. A Slash Update Kit will not work, for the Jillius unit will reject the kit.
Pango unit: Combined together, those two units can be the ideal teachers. They will train and look after the other units, and you might often find the two chatting.
There is one unit, only one, that should be kept away from the Jillius unit.
Bagoo unit: This unit is solely created for one purpose: traumatize your Jillius unit. Just looking at this unit will cause the Jillius unit to fall into severe depression, and they might even try to rip each other apart. To be avoided at all costs.
Warning: The Bagoo unit isn't the only thing that can successfully traumatize your Jillius unit. Any sightings of two units with a Slash Update Kit ver 3.56 doing something oddly private will have a more severe effect. Do not let your Jillius unit near two units with a Slash Update Kit, such a Klonoa and Guntz model.
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Cleaning:
The Jillius unit is oddly obsessed with cleaning. It'll take care of itself. No need to worry.
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Troubleshooting:
Q: My Jillius unit was spring-cleaning when it suddenly flinched from the window and withdrew into its bed. It hasn't moved for a week. What happened?
A: Your Jillius unit has either witnessed a Bagoo unit, or two units with a Slash Update Kit. No amount of words can revive your unit at this point. Leave it alone, or try to talk it out of its depression.
Q: My Jillius unit doesn't want to eat.
A: This is normal. When set to Mode III, the unit will be more focused on sleeping then eating. When set to Mode IV, the unit may only eat once a week. Not eating for three days straight is quite normal.
Q: Lots of our Brazillian coffee has gone missing. Does my Jillius unit have anything to do with it?
A: Probably yes. Have you set your Jillius unit to Mode III? Its primary drink will be coffee, if that is the case. Either that, or your partner is to blame.
Q: I put my Jilius unit to Mode V just for fun, and now he's kidnapped half my family and wants me to surrender my garden to him.
A: Never use the Mode V until you're sure you can control your unit perfectly. When your unit is in this mode not much can be done to stop it. The best thing is to buy another Jillius unit, or borrow one off your neighbours to negotiate with your unit, or magic them back.
Q: My Jillius unit keeps saying he's not homosexual.
A: Normally, the unit will keep saying he's not homosexual every five days. But if it starts saying that every five minutes, that is a problem.This is due to a programming bug that sometimes occurs. There's a button behind the amber brooch your unit wears. Press that.
Q: My Jillius unit seems perverted and very vulgar. His fur's rather deep and his robes seem more like a coat. What's going on?
A: That is not a Jillius unit. You have been accidently issued with a Janga unit. Unfortunately, Namco Inc. does not offer any refunds for those incidents.
In this case, you will just have to put up with the Janga unit. Or better still, sell the unit to fangirls and buy a proper Jillius unit.
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Last Note:
Your Jillius unit is guaranteed to last at least 20-30 years. Please call 1-800-NAMCO-CHAR often for available updates for your unit.
During the guranteed time, your unit can be exchanged for a new one, but only in the case of malfuctions.
Namco Inc. wishes you a happy time with your Jillius unit!
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Right. x.x This one was interesting to write. Jillius is such a good character to write about.
Liked it? Freaky?