A/N: Hello! Thank you SO MUCH for your reviews! I've been getting lot of reviews where people want to kill me for turning Ed into a killer. Well…don't because I have something planned out. And if I say it, then it will ruin the whole thing. So I won't tell you and I don't care if you want to kill me…xD And elysenjazz, don't you DARE tell anyone anything. Or I will personally come to kill you. 8D I SWEAR IT.

ENJOY!

It sits in silence, eats away at me.
It feeds like cancer.
This guilt could fill a f***ing sea.
Pulling teeth, wolves at my door.
Now falling and failing is all I know.

Chelsea Smile – Bring Me the Horizon

Chapter 4

The moment the Colonel left the room was the moment Ed took a deep breath. Sure, he was acting weird and out of place but that was the only way he could keep himself from breaking down in front of that bastard. He buried his face in his pillow once again, sobbing softly. He felt terrible about not telling Al. But he couldn't. He couldn't tell him what he was thinking about Mustang. Alphonse already knew that the murderer incident was suffering him, but about those words…

It's okay, she was an insane woman. A killer. She didn't have a family or anything,he tried to tell himself.

Yeah but, someone or something might have caused her to go insane. It's not her fault, not really, another voice said.

If I didn't kill her, she would have killed me. She stabbed me. And if I had caught her, she would have been executed anyway, he thought.

You wouldn't have died. The knife was in your stomach, not your heart. And so what if she was going to be executed? That's not your decision to make. You're not the one deciding who lives and who dies!

It was an accident! Ed used as his last resort.

That's what they always say. It starts with one death. And then you keep killing. You crave bloodlust. It's kill or be killed. Then in the end, you turn into a killer. A murderer. That's what happened with Nina and your mother, didn't it? Your brother too. Your arrogance killed your mother and nearly your brother. You could have prevented Nina's death if only you payed attention.

Ed finally gave into the words, not knowing how to respond as the darkness consumed him, his self-consciousness trapped under the surface.

2 days later…

Ed sat up on the bed at 7 am in the morning, a little smile across his face. "Finally," he said to himself and stood up. He washed his face, brushed his teeth, wore his clothes and made his way inside.

"B-brother? You're up…" Al said. "How are you?"

Ed smiled. "I'm totally fine! I'm going to the Eastern Headquarters today. I'm well enough to move around now. But first…I'm going to fix myself a breakfast." He said, taking out a few eggs from the fridge.

"You mean you're…over it? You're back to normal?"

Ed cocked an eyebrow. "Normal? Of course, Al! That's all behind me. I'm not going to sit around, sulking all day. I'll get rusty. We still got a stone to find, don't we?" he asked, grinning.

Alphonse's eyes would be wide open if they could. Ed had gone from hysterical crying, to expressionless but suffering, to this. What was up with him? "Alright brother, but don't exert yourself, okay? We don't want you opening your wounds."

"Yeah, yeah." Ed said.

In the next ten minutes, he took a shower, ate breakfast, went through one of his alchemy books and made his way towards the Eastern Headquarters.

He knocked on the door of Mustang's office, a little grin on his face.

"Come in." came the voice from the other side.

Ed twisted the door handle, entered the room and calmly closed it behind his back. The room had gotten a bit too quiet. He looked up, aware that everyone was curiously staring at him, some worried.

"Uh, hello?" he asked.

"Hello chief." said Breda. "Your injuries healed?"

Ed nodded. "Yeah."

Roy Mustang bent forward, examining the boy. "Are you sure you're supposed to be out of bed? Is there anything you want to talk about? Anything you want to let out? Maybe you should rest a few days, what do you say?"

Acting nice? Don't be a hypocrite, Mustang.

Ed shook his head no and gave a grin. "Nah, I'm fine. I got numb lying in bed anyway."

Everyone exchanged glances, not daring to say a word.

Havoc cleared his throat. "Well, Ed, you got over pretty fast for someone who just faced another failure. You're really strong."

Ed's eyes squinted and his grin dropped as he stared at Lieutenant Jean.

You will wish you never said that.

Jean looked away, getting creeps from the cold look Edward was giving him. But in a second, Ed turned back to Colonel Mustang, sat on the sofa in front of him and crossed his legs. "You have anything for me?"

Roy blinked and threw a look at his subordinates. Hawkeye shook her head no. Mustang turned back to Ed. "N-no, not right now. Also, I don't want you leaving so early. I don't think your injuries would have healed so fast.." he said and waited for Ed to yell, telling him that he had a Stone to find and that he couldn't sit around waiting for his injuries to heal.

"That's fine with me. I could use a little vacation."

Mustang's jaw dropped. "Wh-what?" he asked.

Ed stretched his arms, but held his stomach back as the pain came. "I said it's fine."

He stood back up and walked towards Havoc's desk. He leaned in and whispered to his ear. "Lieutenant Havoc, can I talk to you tomorrow during the lunch break?"

"S-sure, about what?" asked Jean, wondering why the young alchemist might want to speak with him. Ed was acting normal as always –except for his reaction to Mustang of course. Considering that the Stone turned out to be a rumor and he had accidentally killed someone.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, like I said. Can you come to Frantine Avenue?"

"Of course, Ed."

An evil smile appeared on Ed's lips. Yes, he thought. Come there and I'll show you.

Havoc smiled back, not seeing the evil intent on Ed's face. He guessed maybe Edward wanted to talk to him other than Mustang.

But why?

Well, he'd figure it out after he talked to him.

Though Havoc didn't know that Ed wasn't planning to talk to him at all.

Mustang picked up the phone after work, and dialed a number.

"Hello. Alphonse? Yes, it's about your brother. I thought he was acting pretty normal today, was he the same when he woke up?"

The answer came quickly. Al sounded as confused as him.

"I thought so. Well, maybe that's how he's dealing with it. So he went to sleep right away when he came back? Yeah, I think we should leave it alone too. Alright, thanks Alphonse. Goodbye."

What's up with you, Ed?

Next day…

Havoc turned another corner and raised his head to read the sign above his head. Frantine Avenue. It was a pretty deserted place. And there weren't even many houses around, just an alley. Why would Ed choose a place like this?

And there he was, standing with his back against the wall, looking at the ground. He was in his usual outfit, red coat and all. It was as if he'd waited there this all time. Though there was a dark look on his face. It wasn't very Edward-like. It was as if he was really pissed off at something. But that wasn't how Ed looked when he was mad.

"Ed?" he asked, walking towards him.

Edward raised his head, the smile he had earlier that day gone, replaced by a cold look with arched eyebrows. "Havoc," he said, as if addressing a criminal.

"So, what did you want to talk about, kiddo?" Havoc asked casually, trying to light up the mood with a little grin.

He was met with a metal fist on the face. He fell on the floor and landed painfully on his side. In a moment, he was kicked at his side and a heavy weight fell on him.

Before he could even figure out what was happening, two hands – one cold and the other kind of warm – wrapped around his neck and began squeezing.

He opened his eyes to see the enraged face of Edward. "Wh-What are you…doing? Get of me…chief.."

He was punched again, this time in the opposite direction. Havoc was sure he heard a crunch when the metal hand connected his face. He swore to himself that he would never call Ed small again. That kid punched hard.

"You think it's easy for me, huh?!" Ed yelled. "You think it's easy for me when I look at Al and see what I did to him?!" Another punch and Ed shook Havoc, his head rattling loudly against the floor. "You think it's easy for me when I fail him again and again, huh?! I don't come back from those missions so you bastards can have a laugh about it!"

Havoc's eyes widened as he realized what happened. He clawed at Ed's hand but realized it was useless since he was using his metal hand. "No…Ed, listen…it's not like that…"

Ed squeezed his windpipe. "SHUT UP!" he screamed.

"E-Ed…I'm sorry…Stop this…"

Ed laughed, and Havoc saw that the fire in his eyes were out. This…This wasn't Edward.

"Well, Havoc, you look pretty fine for someone who's about to get their throat crushed! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I SAID THAT, HUH?"

Havoc was about to pass out from the lack of oxygen. Though, thankfully he saw an opening and punched Ed back. Ed staggered and Havoc kneed him on the stomach. Ed dropped on the floor.

"Sorry, Ed." He murmured coughing. But Ed wasn't done yet. He made a move to stand back up, only to be stopped by Havoc sitting at his legs.

"You will all suffer…" Ed wheezed. "I'll make sure of it. Just like you did with me."

"W-What are you talking about Ed? We never-"

He heard a clap and dodged just before a spike that rose up from the ground stabbed him in the stomach. He began running, knowing it could get worse if he stuck around any longer. He would have to report this to the Colonel tomorrow. Ed was still lying on the floor, staring at him with such a hateful look that Havoc felt guilty. It seemed like Ed had somehow calmed down and wasn't making any move to attack him. Havoc grabbed the glove that Ed had dropped on the floor, threw him another glance and scattered away, leaving the fifteen-year-old himself.

Lieutenant Jean Havoc was scared of what to come.

Ed slowly walked back into his room, Al throwing him a glance. "Brother? What happened?"

Edward smiled again, determined to show that nothing had happened. "I was just taking a bit of fresh air, that's all. But I'm tired so I'll sleep a bit."

Al twisted his head, getting the feeling that Ed was lying. But he decided to let it go. "O-Okay. That's great." Ed shook his head and closed the door.

Yes Alphonse. Everything's great with me. And it will get better.

Soon they will be the ones to suffer.

Ed awoke with a knock on his door.

"Alphonse?" he asked, sitting up on the bed and rubbing his eyes.

"Brother, it's the Colonel."

Ed got up from the bed and walked towards the phone. "Right, I told him I was going to be there in a few days…"

Al was taken aback. "But brother, you went yesterday."

The tired look on Ed's face was replaced with a confused one. "What?" He grabbed the phone. "Hello?" he said with a tone that said "Leave me alone."

"Edward, you need to come here. Right now." a stern voice said.

Ed sighed. "I'll come, just give me one more day. I still don't feel well enough."

There was a pause on the phone. "You were here yesterday, Ed."

"What are you talking about? I was in bed the whole day yesterday. I told you I would come in a few days, could you please leave me alone? I'm sorry for being injured but it's not like-"

"Fullmetal, it has nothing to do with that. Just come."

Edward looked down, the guilt of killing someone still lingering on him. He held back tears and answered with a shaky voice. "A-alright, I-I'll be there in a few minutes."

He staggered into the office, eyes fixed on the floor. He stood there, ignoring everyone around him."Yes?" he asked with a barely audible voice. He raised his head, his face expressionless.

Mustang was staring at him in disbelief.

"What?" Ed asked. "Do I really look that bad?" he asked, turning around the face the other people in the room.

His eyes fell on Lieutenant Havoc who had his eyes squinted. He was holding ice on his left cheek and there were nasty bruises on his neck. "What's up?" he asked.

Everyone in the room threw confused looks at each other.

"Ed, sit down please." Mustang commanded softly. Edward followed suit, sitting on the sofa and continuing to stare at the ground.

"Is this glove yours?" The Colonel asked, holding out a snow-white glove.

Ed looked down at his hand, and realized that he was wearing gloves only on his left hand. "I-I think so…Where did you find it?"

Lieutenant Hawkeye raised her eyebrows. "Edward, do you remember coming here yesterday?"

"I don't remember anything that happened yesterday, so I'm guessing I was in bed the whole day…" he mumbled, biting his lip, taking his thought away from the woman.

"I see. So I'm guessing you don't remember attacking Lieutenant Havoc?" Roy added.

Ed's head snapped back up, his eyes wide in shock. He looked absolutely horrified that Mustang was sure he felt his heart break. Edward was certainly not faking. "Wh-what do you m-mean?" he stuttered. "I," he swallowed hard. "I a-attacked him?" Ed asked, shaking.

Now Mustang could clearly see the pain in those eyes. "Now, Ed, try to remember. Did you do anything the night before? Do you feel weird now?"

Ed turned his hands into fists, shaking all over. "I-It can't be true! I wouldn't do something like that!"

"Havoc said that you told him that we were going to suffer." Breda said.

"NO!" Ed yelled. "I didn't say anything like that!"

Mustang nodded, trying to calm the boy. "Right, Ed. We do believe you. Now tell us what happened the night before."

Ed raised his head, eyes glassy with tears though none fell down. "I had a bad headache…and that's all I remember. I have a bad headache not. It's like something there...trying to come out…" Ed mumbled and turned to Havoc.

Those marks on Havoc's neck. He'd tried to kill him.

Kill. It starts with one death. And then you keep killing. You crave bloodlust. It's kill or be killed. Then in the end, you turn into a killer. A murderer.

NO!

"Alright Fullmetal. So about-"

"I DIDN'T KILL ANYONE!" Ed rose from his seat, shaking. "I…I d-didn't…" he stuttered and collapsed on his knees, shaking.

Roy understood why Ed was acting like that the day he went to visit him. The calm voice, the coldness, the formality… He was keeping it all in.

"Ed, it's okay. Calm down…It's okay." Mustang said as he began advancing the shaking teenager on the floor.

"NO!" Edward yelled, stopping Roy in his tracks. "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"Edward, please. Calm down."

Suddenly, Ed had stopped shaking. He began laughing in total silence like a lunatic. It started out slowly and increased loudly.

"Has he gone crazy?" Fuery asked, eyes wide.

Everyone in the room stared warily, waiting for the laughter to die down.

At last, Ed got up from the ground, raised his head and grinned. "Sorry for the distraction earlier." He said smugly. "Like I've said yesterday, I'm totally fine." He cracked his knuckles and turned to Lieutenant Jean Havoc. "Well, Lieutenant Havoc, let's continue from where we left off yesterday, shall we?"

This disease is getting worse.
I counted my blessings,
Now I'll count this curse.
The only thing I really know:
I can't sleep at night.
I'm buried but breathing in regret.

Chelsea Smile – Bring Me the Horizon

A/N: Well, I guess people are going to kill me for leaving it right there. XD I AM EVIL, OH YES I AM. I'm sure all of you realized there was something weird about Ed, right? Haha… Split-personality has begun!

The song Chelsea Smile…I found it very fitting with Edward so I chose it. It's metal/screamo, so don't listen to it if you don't like that sort of thing. Hehe…

I hope you enjoyed that! Tell me what you liked or didn't like. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

PLEASE REVIEW AND THANKS FOR READING! LOVE YOU!