Somekindafreaky- you will get Romance if and when I decide you deserve it! I am the Queen of my universe! Though I might be more willing to speed up the pace if I could get more reviewers! And this is not inviting you to submit reviews anonymously.

Memoirs of the Void

Chapter 4

Xavier's plan to heal a broken heart

After I read the end of Lance's letter I took the key and went to the bank he had mentioned, hoping that no one would cause a scene. Thankfully no one did, but the stares I received were horrible. I remember almost bursting into tears then and there from them. It was almost too much for me to bare.

When I was safe and back at the institute again I finally counted the money. It was four thousand dollars! I had never held so much cash in my hands before. Instantly I wished that Lance were with me to share my joy, then moments later I realized what that money was for: a wedding, marriage, kids, and the list continues. I was determined that I would spend it in a way that he would approve of and that I would try my hardest to increase the gift he had given me, so my next step was the professor.

"Kitty! It's nice to see you up and about again with normal vigor. What is the matter?" He asked the second I had settled myself in an overstuffed chair.

"It's about Lance, Professor. Well, I guess that it isn't directly about him. I received a letter yesterday from him that held a key in it to a rather large amount of money." At this point I had to stop and regain control of my emotions because I was afraid that I would burst into tears in a second. "He left me four thousand dollars to do anything with. He said that he had been saving it for us... for a life together. I want to invest it so that it will grow, like an emergency fund. I don't know how to do it."

"I have several ways of investing it, if that is your desire." Then the professor went on to explain several ideas that he had had to invest his own money so that if something should happen we would be ok. In the end I asked him to do with my money the same that he was doing with his, and he assured me that he would and that it would grow... I had no idea how much then, but when I needed it years later, was I ever happy.

Lance's letter marked the beginning of a horrible time for me. It was a complete shock and I was completely unprepared. Who is ready for the love of their life to suddenly die? It helped me that I had many close friends at the institute and that I had become close with our newest addition of the Acolytes. I think that there were sparks with one or two of them at the time, but it was an unspoken rule that I was off limits. No one would let anyone hit on me during this time, I am grateful for that.

My world was spinning for months after I got his letter, and after about three months something inside of me just snapped. I kept having these dreams about a future with Lance; I think that that is what caused the snap.

I had been seeing Lance and I ten years in the future. We were sitting outside a house by the shore in a swing. There were three children, two playing in the yard and an infant in my arms, just like I was in Lance's arms. We were watching the sunset and talking when all of a sudden everything went black and I was left utterly alone, and all of the warmth left.

I don't know what happened after that because I woke up in the med lab. Apparently I had tried to commit suicide because both of my wrists were tightly bandaged and I had IV's injected into my arms.

"Mon Chere ya be awake!" He exclaims excitedly from beside my bed. "Don't ya ever scare me like that again. Do you hear me?"(Fear the Remy talking in first person!)

"Sorry Remy. How long have I been out of it?" I asked bringing a hand up to shield my eyes from the light. At this point I had no idea what was going on, it looked like a weird dream. "I don't understand what is going on? Why am I in the med lab?"

"Mon chere, ya don't remember? Ya tried ta commit suicide. It's not dat bad without him, Remy understands, he's been through it." Remy took my hand and I could have sworn that not only did his eyes glisten with tears but that they were swollen with the ones already spent. It was in that moment that I knew that I would move on, but it tore at my heart. Seeing Remy's tears made me cry, and when I told him about the dream he let me cry myself out on his shoulder.

After another few weeks Professor Xavier decided that I was getting no better and that I needed to leave the institute for a while for a place where I had no memories of Lance. I was sent to a group of mutants that called themselves Excalibur and I still swear to this day that Logan set me up somehow and that he made Pete Wisdom my personal hell. Pete may have been the best person for me there, but he was a nightmare (at times) to live with.