Chapter 4

"I'm the first to discover Confucianism. I have founded a religion."

England stared at the computer screen blankly. He wanted to research Theology to get Christianity (being an Anglican and all), but since that it would take 15+ turns to finish the research, it seems that he would have to stick with Confucianism.

"It would take a lot of time for me to research Theology. I'll just wait until one of the bastards research Theology and convert one of my cities into Christianity."

France was also overwhelmed that England reached the Classical Era before him.

"What? England reached the Classical Era before me! What an insult!"

…

The year is 995 BC(1). England starts to spread his new religion in and beyond his boundaries. Meanwhile, France is trying to built the Parthenon when a big surprise came. Actually two big surprises. After a few turns, he's just been informed that someone else has finished the Parthenon before him. And (surprise, surprise) he encounters Greece.

"Who are you? What are you doing prancing around with your gold skirts?", said France, irritatingly.

"Skirts? These are not skirts! They're tunics. And besides, I'm more masculine than you are. While I go to the gymnasium naked to buff off my body and talk about the philosophical nature of life, you sit there, waiting for paint to dry and rubbing your sissy hands together like some pervert."

"Ugh. That is an insult! A more grave insult than the one I just received earlier!"

"What are you talking about, exactly?"

"Umm… nothing. Something personal. Anyway let's be at peace, for now. I don't want you conquering my cities while I achieve great cultural heights."

"Ok. Fine. I won't bother you. Hey, I just recently built the Parthenon. Surprise, surprise."

"ARGHH!"

France hung up on the visual phone line angrily. He is very irritated right now.

…

The year is 850 BC(1). Much of the world is in the Classical Era, with the exception of France, who is still busy building more wonders for culture and neglecting his economy and cities. England's score in this turn is 857. France's score is 779. Germany's is 899. America's is 549. Greece's score is the highest, with 993.

In London, England is preparing for his army. He now has 5 Warriors, 5 Archers, 6 Axmen, 6 Spearmen and 5 Swordsmen. It's enough to keep the barbarians at bay while at the same time preparing for any major war between him and other civilizations.

…

The year is 680 BC(1). While England is developing his cities, he receives great news. Some civilization has founded Christianity. Now, he'll just have to wait until a missionary converts one of his cities to Christianity.

A few turns later and he discovers which civilization founded Christianity.

"Russia!"

"Da! I founded Christianity first. And it's nice that you came and bumped into my borders."

"Ok fine. Can we sign this Open Borders deal together so that I can be Christian now?"

"Not unless you give me Polytheism."

"How ironic.

…

Here. Here's your stinking gift. I hope this does you more good."

"Spasibo. And here's your Open Borders deal."

"Thanks. A lot."

*hungs up visual phone line*

"Wow. I never knew that he doesn't have a sense of sarcasm."

….

The year is 500 BC(1). Things were getting boring during this period. England recently switched his civics from Despotism to Hereditary Rule. France is still amping up his culture level and the other civilizations made relatively minor achievements, with the exception of America, who has the most land area in the world(2).

To get out of boredom, England had to do one thing: go to war. But to whom? He now has the most powerful military in the world(2), and adding to that he's a very good military strategist, something he got from hearing one of Winston Churchill's lectures. But to test his military genius he needs an enemy. Currently he hates none of the civilizations he has met with (with the exception of France, of course) and as of now not one of them has insulted him. He needs a perfect excuse to start a war. Recently, he has heard about a civilization called Greece, played by Greece. Greece has the highest score from all the other civilizations, a perfect reason to start a war. Of course he'll be playing with fire if he would declare war against a powerful civilization, let alone a civilization he only just met.

…

After all that thinking and decision-making, me has made his decision. He is going to declare war on Greece, but just for fun.

(1) In the game, not in real life.
(2) In the game, not in real life.