Thank you for all the splendid reviews! Hope you appreciate the last chapter and enjoy it. :o)

House exited the elevator and headed for the front doors of the lobby. To his surprise, he fell in step with Cuddy, who was also leaving the hospital for the day.

"You can never lie to me," House hissed in her ear.

"Oh yeah?" Cuddy turned a little in his direction.

"The truth always comes out," he told her.

"Of course." The fact that she was humoring him was annoying.

"I was going to wish you a happy birthday," House started, wanting to annoy her right back, "but, I lost those intentions pretty fast."

"Good," Cuddy replied and made her way through the doors.

Once outside, House debated following after her, but ultimately headed to his motorcycle. Cuddy was almost off the sidewalk when she suddenly turned in his direction.

"What were you really doing at my house this morning?" she called out to him, not being able to stand not knowing anymore.

"Birthday wishes," House answered smoothly, glad he now had the upper hand again.

"At quarter after six in the morning, House?" Cuddy tried to see through his defense. "You expect me to believe that?"

"Yes." House backtracked over to Cuddy.

"Fine." Cuddy sighed. "But, if I go home and find a donkey tied to a tree in the back yard or a box with a snake in it on the front porch or my living room repainted, I will kill you."

"I would never give you the same gift twice." House stopped in front of her. "That's more than I can say for Wilson." He rolled his eyes. "Stationary... again."

"At least it's practical," she replied. "More than I can say for your obscene gifts."

"What's not practical about a donkey?" House asked as if the answer was clear. "They carry things. On their backs. And they don't call hot pink living rooms hot for nothing, Cuddy."

"My birthday's not a day for you to pull practical jokes, House," Cuddy told him.

"Then, maybe you misunderstand me," House pointed out. "First of all, I don't need a birthday to pull jokes on people. I am that good. And second... no, that's actually all of it."

"Have a good night, House." Cuddy took a step away from him. "And expect a ranting phone call when I find your birthday 'gift.'"

"Goodnight, Cuddy," House replied devilishly and headed for his bike.

Cuddy carefully approached her house. Preparing herself, she slid her key into the lock and opened the front door. It was dark and nothing jumped out at her as of yet. She flicked on her hall light and stepped inside.

Peering into each room as if it might hold some sort of hidden danger, Cuddy made her way through her home. She flicked on the light and moved through the dining room and into the kitchen. She stopped when she saw a lone cupcake sitting on the counter next to the sink. Tied to the faucet was one pink balloon with the words POP ME written on it.

Cuddy examined the cupcake and then the balloon, but was too nervous to actually go ahead and pop it. She moved on into her bedroom and stopped once again when she noticed a mattress, still wrapped in its plastic, sat on her box spring. Cuddy instantly whipped out her phone and dialed.

"You bought me a mattress?" She asked when he picked up. "That's creepy."

"You always complain about back pain," he told her. "I thought it was more useful than stationary anyway."

"House, I don't want this." Cuddy moved around the mattress, checking it out for any hidden surprises.

House rolled his eyes. She was going to be difficult. "Have you tested it yet?"

Cuddy straightened. "No, but-"

"Get on the bed," House commanded her and had to hold back any inappropriate comments that were preparing to fall from his lips. "Now."

"House, it's weird," she repeated her earlier comment. "No one buys a bed for their boss unless they plan on someday being in it."

"What gave you the idea that I'm not currently working on that very plan?" he asked her.

"House..."

"Try it." House attempted to be coaxing.

Cuddy sighed. "Fine."

Cuddy lowered herself to the plastic covered mattress and relaxed into it. Silence. He was right. This mattress was so much better than her old one and did feel wonderful for her back.

He smiled on the other end. He was right. "And?"

"Okay, so this is a really nice mattress, but-" Cuddy still felt awkward about it.

"Cuddy," House cut her off.

"I can't accept it, House," she told him. "What would people say if-"

"Nothing," House jumped in. "Big deal. You needed a new mattress and I bought you one. Can't you just take the gift, Cuddy?"

She was surprised that he cared enough to buy her a present that was useful and she could actually enjoy. That thought made her sit up quickly and leap off the bed.

"What's wrong with it?" Cuddy looked the mattress over again. "Was someone killed on it? Are there blood stains somewhere that I'm missing?"

"It's brand new." House's patience was dwindling. "I told them to leave the plastic on because you'd never believe me. Clearly, I was right."

Cuddy shook her head. "There's got to be something wrong with it."

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Cuddy," House warned.

"But, it's-" Cuddy tried to protest once again.

"I swear there's nothing wrong with it." House sighed. "I only bought it for you so I could prove to Wilson that I am better than him and can get you a better gift for your birthday. Bragging rights. That's all. Messing with the gift would only forfeit my right to brag."

Cuddy paused a moment. That sounded like House. "Honestly?"

House sighed again, this time, more irritated in tone. "Yes, Cuddy. If I have to say it one more time, I will take the gift back. I can't stand your nervous questioning anymore.

"Well... thank you, House." Cuddy didn't really know what else to say. She did appreciate the new mattress. "Even if it was given to me in order to annoy Wilson."

"Can't have your cake and eat it too," House replied. "Maybe a cupcake, though."

"Thank you for that too." Cuddy bit her lower lip. She was still a tad bit suspicious.

"Did you pop the balloon?" House tried not to sound too eager.

"No, I was scared," Cuddy told him.

House smirked. "Just do it, Cuddy. You only live once."

Cuddy sighed. "Fine."

Cuddy made her way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. She walked to the balloon and picked up the paring knife she used that morning to cut an apple. Phone still next to her ear, Cuddy jabbed at the balloon which gave way to a loud pop that hurt her ears.

Jumping a foot in the air, Cuddy shrieked and moved back. Dead flies and spiders rained down over her kitchen counter and sink. House, who had been listening intently, burst into laughter.

"House!" Cuddy exclaimed, backing even further from the counter.

"I was collecting those for weeks," House confided.

Cuddy turned her back to the scene. "I'm going to be sick."

"Couldn't let you have one birthday without a little fun, could I?" House asked. This was too good. He wished he could have been there.

"You're evil," Cuddy glared even though he couldn't see her.

House, knowing his work for the day was done, prepared to hang up the phone before Cuddy could begin ranting.

"Happy Birthday, Cuddy."

Fin.