Chapter Eleven B
It was the lack of distractions that did it to him tonight. Ever since Nick had called off for the week. It was as if crime had stopped and the station itself had dulled for him as well. Sean knew he was being irrational, but he usually was at this time of year. And he disliked changes and Nick calling was a change in routine. And the lack of progress in current cases didn't help much either. He hated getting those calls from the mayor's office. It made him want to use his "powers" for bad instead of good.
Of course his family would be thrilled if he changed his mind and ran his Canton from a more political standpoint. And thinking of his family made him think of Johnathan's birth, the years they had him, and the kidnapping. It brought him full circle once more, round and round his grief never left him. His mother had once again sent him flowers in his son's memory and honor. The reminder was like a shot in the heart. Thinking of it all would bring him to the point of irrationality and then some. His Canton would always fear him at this time of year and that truly saddened him more.
He had never wanted to rule like his father, damn the bastard. He had always believed in balance even as a child. He disliked dictators no matter how he longed for more power on the rough days. He had never set out for this lot in life, never wanted to be so alone in life. But with the loss of his son and Lucinda leaving him in her own grief this is what he'd become. He knew he could be strict and even scary but he hoped his son wherever he was would look at him with understanding and some pride. That had always been the goal of his rule and his life, even before the loss of Johnathan.
And tonight the loneliness of his life had been brought to the forefront of his mind, his heart and he hated it. He tried drinking a stiff drink or three already. But once he thought of his beautiful son, the grief would take over. He missed him more than ever on these nights. He was just too tired to fight the memories, the pain. So here he was again, sitting in a chair alone, with a drink in his hand staring at the lights of his city. Sean knew he could prevent this each time by pushing his grief back. But he also knew that he needed these overwhelming moments of pain to stay sane the rest of the time. If he didn't let himself think of his old life then he would lose something else, his humanity as ironic as that sounds. So he would sit here, alone with his thoughts of Lucinda and their beautiful son.
Chapter Eleven C
Monroe felt his head droop further towards his mate as he heard the raspy voice ask what they'd all been thinking. He couldn't think of anything to say so he just sent Nick his feelings of love and comfort through their bond. He had already said aloud what he thought he could voice rationally, but he says it again, "Mine, you're mine." He fights a smile as he feels Nick's relief and reassurance come through. He feels it as well sees the tears falling down his mate's face. He grips Nick hand and just squeezes it. He'll be there for his mate and will fight to the death before he leaves. He smiles some when that raspy voice speaks up and with a whisper says, "I love you too."
He knows that can't change, it won't change since they mated. But they both had gone into this with some fear as well. But Monroe belonged to Nick as much as Nick belonged to him and no royal family would change that. He feels more than hears Nick say, "Good." Monroe though answers Nick's earlier question, "Nothing needs to change this very second Nick. In a day or two after you've slept we'll start making plans for if, no when other Wesen especially a certain one notices." Nick answers him with a choked laugh and obviously anguished sob, "I'm not even Nick. My name was Johnathan. But now who am I?" Sitting up Monroe grabs Nicks shoulders and looks into his eyes and can barely grunt as he says, "Your name isn't a problem. You know who you are. You're a good cop, a good man, a newbie Grimm, and an even newer Wesen. And the best thing about who you are is that you're my mate. It doesn't matter after that, we'll get there Love. I promise you, I promise." There are no more words between them as he holds Nick and listens to him cry a little more.
Monroe can only hope his words ring true in the future. He knew his mate's sanity was at stake. Thinking of that made Monroe pause and think that at least another Wesen or two would need told. Nick would need his friends rallying behind him, especially the Wesen ones. The humans would question his growth and weight change and think nothing more but Wesen would smell the difference first and then see it. Not including the Canton's prince, Monroe wanted to call the man and get him involved but he knew better than that. He needed to think of his mate first then his prince. Maybe Rosalee would have some ideas of how to avoid the massive fallout over Nick's species change. In the coming week they would need to make plans for how to handle the upcoming upheaval in their lives.
He knew there would be changes and he would need to keep the wolf in check. He would need to train Nick on phasing and Wesen emotions and a whole lot more. And Rosalee would need to make potions to help Nick out as well. Lots of ideas and plans whirl around in his mind. He squeezes Nick tighter and breathes in his mates scent. He needed the grounding and so did his wolf. And he smiles into Nick's hair as hears Nick goes back to sleep. It reassured Monroe enough that he himself closes his eyes and settles in for a nap, trusting that Rosalee had their backs. After all what else was pack for but comfort, support, and protection. Thankful for his pack Monroe slips into sleep finally.
Chapter Eleven D
Sean could hardly believe it, within a matter of hours a scandal had broke out. Of course that probably had something to do with the councilman found murdered along side of a well known hooker down in the red light district. Humans were so foolish and fragile. And this human was particularly foolish, he flaunted his indiscretions enough so that someone finally offed him. Cheating on his wife wasn't all he was known to do. And of course his wife was suspected but so was the dead hookers pimp. And every single one of his enemies on the council and otherwise.
He knew this would get messy, and he needed the best to solve the case. But his best detective was home sick and Sean was hesitant to call him back in. Down deep within himself he just knew it was a bad idea. He'd give Nick a day or two but no more could be afforded, not if this case proved to be as annoying that Sean predicted it would be. He'd see where Hank was in a day or two and go from there. Hell maybe he'd help on this case, he still had some skills.
At least the case would take his mind off of things or people he would rather not think about. Planning a society party to "honor" his dead son and ex wife always cheered him up,not. He couldn't stop the bitterness in his heart and mind but he would have to keep it in check out in the real world, Wesen or human it didn't matter. As a prince he was under a microscope, as a Captain he was expected to hold to a certain code, but as a man and Wesen he would never be able to deny that his heart has hurt all these years without his beloved family. He loved his mother but sometimes her meddling was bothersome. It was as if she felt that no matter how old he got he still needed to coddled due to the lack of his father's love and all his sins. There were days he felt like Hamlet or Macbeth. Though he still lived, it was truly tragic.
If there was ever a moment in the day though, that he thought of his son it was now. In the minutes before he goes into action and nearly every minute after that too. And he had nightmares on the nights that he wasn't exhausted enough to stop dreaming. It might seem to his mother and everyone else in their world that he hasn't moved on and while that was the truth to an extent. He still knew he had to live and so he did in his own little way.
Author Note: I know that Sean is a little unbelievable or OOC in this chapter to probably the majority of readers but to me he's not. I watch my grandparents every day mourn the loss of my uncle who died 3 years ago. I also saw how my recently departed grandmother mourned the loss of my father for the last 17 years. The loss of a child is something I don't profess to understand but loss is something we all do understand. I hope you take the chapter as proof that Sean truly feels the loss of son and it colors everything else in his life. And as the author I promise you all that the next chapter will be more in character...I hope.