OK, sorry this took so long to get up, but I really hurt my wrist, so I can only type w/one hand! Yeah, it sucks, but, the story must go on! So tell me how you like it…
Chapter 4
Narrator: It was a dark an stormy night, a small figure is seen creeping into the palace, suddenly, the boys face is lit up by a small light and the child begins to talk in undertones. Man, this is getting too creepy for me, I'm out of here!
Link: Who was that?
Navi: Beats me.
Link: So, what were we just talking about?
Navi: Beats me.
Link: Thanks a lot, you're a big help!
Navi: Your welcomeJ
Link: I didn't mean that to be... oh well, forget it
Navi: ^__^
Link: Oh yeah, we were going to go see that babe, Zelda!
Navi: :-( Please speak with more respect for your future ruler!
Link: Yeah yeah, whatever.
Navi: Listen, right now we have bigger problems
Link: Like what?
Navi: The guards for one thing, smart one!
Link: oh, yeah. I have an idea, hows about I go and take on all of the guards at once? I think it could work, and it would score me points with Zelda!
Navi: Why me!?!?!?!?!?
Later at the gate to the palace
Link: Hey, it would have worked to, but you um, and you ummm, and you also, umm. Well I can't really remember right now, but I know it is your fault some how!
Navi: Me!? I warned you, and I'd love to tell you so, so I told you so
Link: Ah Shadup
Navi: Now, hopefully, you will listen to me!
Link: ::In a defeated voice:: What do you want me to do?
Navi: Now, the best plan to get into the palace square would be to go through…
Several hours later
Navi: So, you got all that link?
Link: ::Snore::
Navi: Why me!?!?!?!?
Navi boxes Link on the ear
Link: Wha? Oh yes, very interesting, so what exactly do you want me to do?
Navi: Just try and sneak past the guards, OK, is that too much to ask, just sneak past the god D***** guards!!!!!!
Link: OK, but you want to do it the boring way.
Navi: AHHHHHHHHHHH! Just go before I hurt you!
Inside the castle
Guard: Hey what are you doing in here? I need to send you back out!
Link: Name your price.
Guard: What? Are you trying to bribe me!
Link: Oh my, can't get anything past you, can I?
Guard: How dare you, I mean, to think that a guard for the King would accept such a thing! Well, what I'm trying to say is, I believe about 80 rupees would just about do it do it.
Link: OK, here you go, pleasure doing business with you!
Navi: I can't believe you just did that!
Link: Shut up!
In the castle square
Link: ::Whistles:: Hotche mama!
Zelda is wearing a low cut V dress that comes up to between her hips and her knees. She is wearing black lipstick, with every inch of her ears covered in earrings, up to the tip of her pointy little ears.
Link goes into one of those Wolf acts, where his eyes pop out of his head and his tongue rolls out, you know the routine
Zelda: Yo, what is up! I love your clothes, totally retro! Totally green!
Link: ::Blushes:: Umm, thanks. Your clothes are um, nice to.
Zelda: Hay waz zat you got there? Some kind of demon firefly!
Link: Who, oh you mean Navi?! Oh shes nothing don't worry about her.
Navi: Nothing? Humph. I'll show him nothing!
Navi begins to fly straight at Zelda, but she holds up a bottle and Navi flys right into it
Zelda: Ha! Take that you freakin Fairy!
Navi: Help me! Walls, closing in, can't breath, must get out! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Link: Hahahahaha
Navi: Why you little…
Two coconuts fall on Links and Zeldas head
Zelda: What the... Hey how did you do that?
Navi: You had better let me out, or I'll do it again!
Zelda takes the stopper off the bottle and Navi Flys away and sits on the statue, trying to get over the trauma she just went through
Link: OK, now that that is over with, why did I come here again?
Zelda: Who cares! Oh, wait a sec. I just remembered one of my recent hallucinations, I mean, um dreams, yeah, that's it. The halu... I mean dream said that some whacked up kid with a bozo fairy would come along! You must be him. Cool!
Link: Yeah, OK, was this before, or after you were dropped on your head?
Zelda: Oh shut up and get over here
Link: Why should I?
Zelda: 'Cause I told you to, and if you don't, I'll have you beheaded for, um, disobeying the princes
Link: Works for me, here I come!
Zelda: Now look through that window, and look at that man near my father
Link looks in the window and sees the happy mask man
Link: AHHHHHHHHH!! It's the most horrible thing I have ever seen! His ever-smiling face, it will haunt my nightmares forever!!
Link falls onto the ground in a fetal position and begins to weep
Zelda: You get up you pansy ass freak, Ganondorf isn't that bad!
Link suddenly stops crying
Link: Who? Ganondorf? I was talking about the Happy Mask man!
Zelda: Now there I agree, he is creepy!
Link: Let me look again
Link looks again
Link: Ah, I see, so this is the face of evil!
Zelda: You D***** fool! He saw you, now he's coming over!
G-dorf: ::Talks in the stereotype Gay voice:: Now guyths, you thouldn't b thpying on people like that! It's just not nithe!
Zelda: Yes sir, we are very thorry, I mean, sorry
G-dorf: Oh! Who's your cute little friend?
Zelda: Oh, him, he is just entertainment, don't worry about him
G-dorf: Oh, I thee::Wink::Wink:: Why hello there!
Link: Yeah, uh, hi
G-dorf: Well, I got to go now, nice meeting you;-) hope to see you again
Ganondorf walks off with a knowing strut
Link: Entertainment?!?! My god, I'll be marked for life!!
Zelda: ::Sniker::Sniker::
Link: Well, now that I've seen him, what do you want?
Zelda: Well, you see, I really hate him, so I just want to hurt him some how.
Link: I'm afraid to ask, but why do you need me?
Zelda: See, I'm really lazy, and since I'm the princess, I can order people around and they have to obey me!
Link: I see, so what do you want me to do?
Zelda: I want Ganondorf dead, but for some odd reason, he can't be killed with a regular, sword, but the one sword that can kill him is sealed away, and I want you to get it for me and kill him!
Link: and just how am I supposed to do that? Didn't you just say that it was sealed away?
Zelda: Well, all you have to do is get three spiritual stones, and then that's all!
Link: Spiritual stones?
Zelda: Yeah, is there an echo in here? Geeze! There are as I said, three, one for the forest, one for the water, and one for the mountain.
Link: Forest? You mean this?
Pulls out the green stone thrown at him by the Deku Tree
Zelda: Yes, good, now only two stones to go!
Link: And remind me again, why should I do this for you?
Zelda makes the death sign
Link: Oh, yeah, that's right, I'm already gone!
Link begins to leave, but is stopped by Impa who sounds a lot like a valley girl
Impa: Like, oh my god! Zelda, you didn't tell me you were like, seeing someone. You just like have to tell me all about him!
Zelda: Oh, good thing you're here, teach link here how to play the Royal song
Impa: Oh, my, god, that is supposed to be a secret, like you little nark!
Zelda: Just shut up and do what I told you to do
Impa: Like, OK, but I'm not responsible for what happens if your father ever finds out!
Zelda: Oh shut up, my dad doesn't even show up in this game, so just teach him the D*** song!
Impa teaches Link the song, Blah blah blah, and Links Ocarina starts to sparkle
Impa: Like, way cool, dude. Like, let me see that!
Link: No
Impa: Yes
Link: No
Impa: Yes
Link: No
Impa: Yes
Link: No
Impa: Yes
Link: No
Impa: Yes
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Impa: 'K, just, like, don't a cucu or somthin' like that! Gaw!
Link: Can I leave yet?
Zelda: Sure, just have Impa take you, out, the guards will totally spaz out if you just walk out of the courtyard
Out side of Castle town
Impa: Like, here you go, all safe and everything
Link: Yeah, thanks, now could you just leave me alone?
Impa: Geeze, like, I know when I'm not wanted! No need for you to explain things to me!
Impa throws something on the ground
Impa: Oww, my eyes
Link: Where did she go?
Navi: Who cares
Link: Yeah, lets just go
Ok, like I said, sorry for the less than expedient delivery of this fic, but hope you enjoy it. Oh and also, sorry for the total change in Zelda's personality, but I just couldn't continue writing like that!