Early on in Gordon's recovery

It was hard, not just for Gordon but Jill as well. Over the course of the two months following his car accident Gordon had been dependent on drugs to get through each day and coming off them proved to be difficult. As his wife, Jill took the full force of his frustration and withdrawal symptoms

'Just stop it Jill. Just get out of my sight! I can't deal with you right now' Gordon responded after Jill had asked him to help her in the garden. Controlling his emotions had become difficult. He felt angry, anxious, and shaky but most of all scared.

'Gordon, I won't for one minute pretend I know what you're going through but you've got to help me Gordon. We will get through this you know' Jill tried to reassure him and put him at ease.

'No you don't understand, and you know what neither do I! I should be out their enjoying the sunshine with my children but instead I'm in here hiding away from the world. I don't want to talk about it. Just leave me alone, please!'

Jill stared at her husband in despair, wanting to hold him and make everything better. Instead she turned and walked out the room knowing it was no good trying to talk to him when he was like that.

On another occasion

'DAD, come and play outside with me and Katie. Come on dad, we've got the football out and everything'

'No Tom. You go and play with Katie, I'm staying indoors today'

'Come on Dad, Please?'

'I SAID NO! YOU EITHER GO OUTSIDE OR GO TO YOUR BEDROOM. YOU'RE CHOICE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!' Gordon lost his temper with his young son, something he'd never done before. Tom's eyes water and he ran off. Several minutes later Jill came to find Gordon after comforting Tom.

'You can take it out on me, you can say whatever you like to me but don't you EVER take it out on the children! Do you understand me? Maybe if you'd spoken to me sooner instead of bottling everything up then YOU wouldn't be in this mess now.' Dictated Jill, angry with Gordon for upsetting Tom.

Further on in the recovery

'Yes, well people get so fixed on their own way of looking at a problem they stop actually seeing it. Just dig a hole for yourself, deeper and deeper so you don't have to look up and see the way things really are' Explained Gordon as they walked through the hospital corridors discussing a patient they were both treating

'This is Jean and Michael we're talking about?' Jill added curiously

'Er, well yes I suppose it does apply elsewhere. Nobody's perfect, even me.'

After weeks of suffering and battling with how he felt; and after help and reassurance from Jill, Gordon had finally been able to admit what had happened. He'd hidden himself away after the accident unable to face what had happened and as a result he'd become reliant on tablets to help him 'cope' with his depression. It was the break through Jill had been hoping for, she was proud of him.

That evening once they arrived home and Tom and Katie were in bed the old Gordon came back.

'You know I'm proud of you Gordon. And I know it's been hard for you but we're coming through the other side now, aren't we?'

Gordon looked at her intensely, searching her eyes to see what she was getting at

'I couldn't have done it without you though Jill. I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd of walked away from me after the way I've treated you these past few months. And I wasn't there when you needed me most and for that I am truly sorry. But you've looked after me and now it's my turn to look after you... to look after you both' He sat next to Jill on the sofa and kissed her cheek. She nestled into him and he held her close. It felt like old times, times before the accident.

'I do love you Gordon' she whispered

'And I love you, more than you'll ever know'

The flash backs became less regular and his reliance on drugs was hugely decreased. There were still days when he had trouble facing the world and wanted to hide away but with help and support from Jill he picked himself up, dusted himself down and carried on. He came to realise he was lucky to be alive and had a lot to live for; his wife, his family, his job but most of all the impending arrival of baby Ormerod. No matter how much he needed Jill, she needed him more; much more.