An unexpected turn of events
Kids nowadays and their "bling"
Disclaimer: LotR is not mine, but any characters you don't recognize from the books/movies are and if you ask nicely maybe I'll let you borrow them :P Mary Sue you can have, I don't want her anyway.
A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while, I know I promised this would be updated often but I've had a lot to do in school and such. But I'm taking some time off from that now, mainly because Edgar kept waking me up at three in the morning by putting ice cubes on my feet, calling me in class and telling me about his hemorrhoids and sitting behind me on the bus, passing out embarrassing photos of me to the other passengers until I continued with this.
I want to dedicate this chappie to my mother who works at a home for Alzheimer patients.
Mildred sat out on the porch in the cool night and looked at the clear night sky. She had gotten up at 2 am, unable to sleep. Usually she had no trouble sleeping, but tonight there was something bothering her. She felt empty somehow, like she had lost something. She tried to clear the fog from her mind to find the reason why she felt so alone, but no matter how hard she tried it stayed just beyond her reach. Something, someone maybe, was missing and she didn't like it. If she could only remember.
Under a completely different night sky, in a soft bed in a beautiful house, Edgar was snoring happily, dreaming of sheep. [1]
*
Edgar wasn't really paying attention at the council the next day. He hadn't enjoyed breakfast, not at all. The food had been good but the elves didn't have any coffee, they didn't even seem to know what coffee was, and there was something else too. A sort of empty feeling in his stomach, even though he had eaten quite a lot.
He was awaken from his thoughts by someone saying his name.
"Huh?"
"I said perhaps the Company could use another warrior in the quest to destroy the ring" Elrond seemed to be struggling with himself.
Edgar looked at the small group standing in the middle of the circle, looking expectantly at him.
"All these people to return one little piece of jewelery, and you want me to babysit? Well, since I am such a selfless person, and a great warrior, I'll come with you, making sure you don't hurt yourself."
*
When everyone else had left, Elrond stood alone in the middle of the stone circle, twitching nervously.
"Ten, it makes perfect sense. Ten walkers, of course, it's logical. There have to be ten, doesn't it? Yes, yes it does because ten is..."
After a while two elves came out, took him gently by the arms and led him inside to rest.
*
They set out at dusk the day after, Edgar pushing his rollator on the suspiciously flat ground. They walked in silence, even Edgar, who was not used to walking and was now wheezing with the effort.
When the first light of day painted the sky red Aragorn announced that they were now in the land of Hollin. He sat down on a convenient rock and mumbled to himself.
"I must be getting old, I thought I remembered it to take a lot longer to walk from Rivendell to Hollin, and didn't it used to be a lot more insects? Where are all the insects?"
Legolas was confused as well, not so much because of the unusually short way to Hollin as the fact that he felt like he ought to fall in love with Edgar. This scared him, as did the distant female voice in his head that kept chanting words in a strange language.
"Oh my leggy-weggy, u r so totally hot!!1!!!one! we wuld be like, the purfect couple like, totally ment 2 be like, 2gether. and it would be liek, romantic and stuff and like, awessum."
He figured it must have something to do with the ring.
In fact the only one in the fellowship that wasn't affected by the Suepower was Gimli. He actually kind of liked Edgar though. Mostly because he had called Legolas a sissy and told him to get a haircut. And because he remarked that Gimli was the only one of them that looked like a warrior.
Edgar sat on a rock watching Boromir teach two of the hobbits, as he had been told they were called, to handle their small swords when another of the hobbits, 'Sam' Edgar thought his name was, suddenly stood up.
"What is that?"
"Nothing, it's just a wisp of cloud." the dwarf replied.
By now Boromir had stopped play fighting with the two hobbits and came to stand beside Sam.
"It's moving fast... And against the wind."
Legolas ran over to them as well and looked towards the horizon.
"Crebain from Dunland!" he yelled.
"Hide!" Aragorn was already throwing himself down under some bushes.
"The what from the where now?" Edgar asked grumpily, he was tired and was not going to move from his comfy rock, but before he knew it Legolas had grabbed him and pulled him down in the bushes.
Edgar was just about to yell a list of obscenities at the elf when the sky darkened. Thousands of crows came flying over them, their black figures blocking the sun.
After the birds had flown past the company climbed out from under the bushes. Gandalf was the first to speak.
"Spies of Saruman! The passage South is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras."
They all turned to look at the snow-covered mountain.
"What? Up there? First hippie boy here tries to have an intimate moment with me in the bushes and now you gonna drag me over a mountain? All over a little cheap piece of tin foil . You kids take your 'bling' to seriously."
Legolas, looking extremely unhappy and slightly nauseous, sat down in the grass and leaned his forehead against his knees.
Gandalf spoke up again.
"We have no other choice."
[1] Nothing dirty, just sheep in general, and not carnivorous sheep that chases you while you keep running and falling from laughing so hard at being chased by were-sheep either.