A/N: I know, I know. I'm sorry that it's been a long time again *ducks under the pitchforks* Hey, I said I was sorry! Sheesh…

A Drunken Marriage to Schneeze At

Summary: Qrow was having a bad day. Hitting the bar and drinking seemed like a good idea. Except the next morning, he wakes up to find himself between the Ice Queen and her sister with rings on their fingers. What happened last night?

*Chapter 4*

Weiss covered her eyes while she walked through the narrow corridors of Beacon Academy. Her head pounded from the lights in the ceiling, and she groaned painfully. "Ughhhh…hangovers suck." 'It's official. I'm never going out drinking with Winter ever again; I'm not built for it.'

The heiress wished her team's dorm wasn't on the other side of the damn school right now; walking in her currently hungover and exhausted state was physically draining on her, and she growled in frustration when she stumbled. 'Dammit. I hate this.'

Weiss was dreading facing her teammates. No doubt her energetic leader Ruby would be all over her fussing, Blake would be suspicious, and Yang would be…well, Yang.

She supposed it couldn't be helped. Yang looked out for all of them like a mother, since she had been taking care of Ruby ever since their own mom passed away. Asking her to not give into her paternal instincts would be like asking a bear not to kill a deer. 'Dammit, why is Yang so overly protective?'

She needed to talk to the brawler regardless; no one was better to go to for advice with personal matters. 'Okay, you can do this, Weiss. You've stared down Grimm much larger than you have; facing your teammates after accidentally getting drunkenly married to an alcoholic birdman and your sister should be a breeze.'

'Oh, who am I trying to fool? This is way more complicated than that!'

Weiss placed her hand on the knob of the door, and was surprised to find it shaking. 'Stop shaking and get a damn grip.' She wanted to groan at her inner punny; it was the kind of horrible joke Yang would make. "Dammit Yang…"

She was so putting her in the Corner of Shame later today.

She twisted the knob, slowly pushing the door open. "Um…I'm back?"

No response.

'What the hell is going on?' Weiss sighed. "Guys, not funny. I'm really not in the mood to deal with this crap right now."

Still no response, and Weiss's minute amount of patience finally snapped. 'Oh, for…'

The heiress poked her head out, ready to give all of her teammates a tongue lashing, and the next thing she knew she was knocked down onto the floor by a red blur. Her head smacked against the hard wood, and she blinked back stars with a groan. "Ow…hey! What was that for!?"

"Sempai~!" That high pitched squeal could only belong to one person.

Ruby Rose.

Once Weiss was again capable of sight, she lifted her head up to glare at her partner and team leader. "Ruby, you utter dunce! You nearly gave me a concussion!"

Ruby sat up with a gasp, though not moving from her position on top of the heiress. "Sorry, Weiss-sempai!"

"And stop yelling; I already have a killer headache," Weiss grumbled, rubbing her temples. 'Great. If I end up passing out, I know exactly who I'm blaming.'

'You mean yourself, right? You were the one who decided to get drunk with your wife and husband.'

'Ugh. Shut up.'

"Sorry."

"Don't be." Weiss sighed. "It's partially my fault, anyway."

Ruby got off of her, helping the heiress to her feet and pulling her into their dorm. "Where were you last night? We heard that you broke up with Jason, but after that we didn't hear anything from you? are you okay?"

"Ruby, I'm fine. I was with my sister," Weiss said carefully. She was trying to not reveal the entire truth about the previous night's events, partially so she could actually sit down and think about it without worrying about being judged too harshly by her teammates. She doubted they'd do anything drastic like attempt to burn her alive for being a heretic, or force her to wear a scarlet 'A' on her chest.

But Ruby wasn't the problem. Nor was Blake, who was reading one of her smutty novels as per usual with wide eyes.

No, the problem was the busty blonde brawler and self-appointed mom of the team, Yang.

Yang didn't look like she believed a single word of it, with one eyebrow raised skeptically as her lilac gaze raked over the hickeys dotting Weiss's neck. But, she didn't say anything about them. "Well, you're back safe at least. Next time, can you call us before you pull a disappearing act like Blake?"

The cat Faunus chucked a pillow at Yang with a hiss and narrowed slits, only for Yang to duck at the last minute and let Weiss get hit in the head again.

"Oh, come on!" Weiss grumbled, chucking it back. "How many times are you guys going to try and give me brain damage today!?" 'This has got to be what, the third time I've been hit in the face with something!? Come on, it's not even noon yet!'

The pillow hit Blake square in the face, and she let out a startled meep as it was thrown with enough force to derail her from her sitting position on the precariously built bunk beds and crash onto the floor with her butt arched in the air. "M-meep…"

"Pillow fight!" Ruby cheered, grabbing a pillow shaped like Zwei's head and smacking Yang on the head with it.

Her moment of victory was quite brief, however. Yang recovered, and she gave her younger sister an evil grin. "Oh no, Ruby. Now you've awakened the Tickle Monster!"

She began to tickle the cape wearer, and Ruby soon began to cry for help once the tickle onslaught began. "Aaaaaaah! Yamateeeeeee! Weiss-sempai, help meeeeee!"

Weiss blinked, and gave her an unamused look. "No."

She didn't notice Blake (who had not only gotten off the ground, but also managed fill up a bucket of ice water) creep up behind her, until it was too late. Blake dumped an entire bucket of icy water onto her head, and the heiress shrieked. "Ack! Blake, what the hell was that for!?"

"For interrupting my reading and making us worry about you last night," the Faunus replied, climbing back onto her bunk. "You should've seen how long Yang was pacing for. It took me and Ruby three hours to get her to stop."

"Well, I said I was sorry! Sheesh." Weiss looked at her dripping clothes and scowled. "And I have to go get changed!"

"Jeez…aren't you a little frosty…" Yang murmured.

"Yang! Corner of Shame, now!"

"Damn, you're really grumpy today, Snow Angel."

CRASH!

"Weiss, put that pitchfork down!"

Now fully changed and dried off, Weiss applied the finishing touches to her makeup and left the bathroom.

She was lucky to have avoided Yang for as long as she had. But that luck wasn't going to continue, for the minute the bathroom door opened, Yang had grabbed her by the wrist. "We need to talk. Now."

Weiss yelped out as she was dragged out of their dorm, down the hall, and into one of the abandoned classrooms that no one had used in forever.

"Yang, what the heck was all of that for!?" she demanded, trying to catch her breath. Her headache from earlier returned, and she groaned out. "My head…"

The blonde brawler jumped onto one of the desks, crossing her legs and looking at the heiress seriously. "Look, Weiss. You can try and say that you were only out with your sister—"

"Which is true, I remind you."

"But, I know liquor when I smell it," Yang finished dryly. She leaned closer, her lilac eyes squinted shut. "And right now, your breath smells of whiskey and rum. Two things that my uncle absolutely cannot live without."

"W-what the hell are you getting at?" Weiss demanded with a stutter. "Are you insinuating I lied to you? To the team?"

"No." Yang shook her head. "I do believe you…to an extent. I have a feeling you're not telling me the entire truth. There's a difference between lying and telling a partial truth."

"Why would I have anything to hide, Yang?" Weiss said, trying to look innocent. "Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me?"

Yang rolled her eyes, folding her arms. "Nice try, Snow Angel. That bullshitting technique doesn't work on me. Do remember it was me who raised Ruby when our dad was going through his depression and I learned all the tricks early."

'Well, great. So much for trying to hope that would work.' Weiss sighed. "Okay, I'll say what happened. But by Oum, if you tell anyone, I will cut your hair and sell it as a wig, understood?"

Yang nodded, and she rested her chin in her hand. "I understand. Well, begin."

Weiss took a deep breath. "Well, what you heard about me and Jason was true. He tried to force himself onto me, I told him no, and he dumped me because I apparently am some uppity bitch who can't have a little fun."

"To be fair…" Yang started to smirk, and Weiss cut her off with an icy glare before she could make a really awful pun and end up in the Corner of Shame again.

"So, after he left me sitting on a bench in the middle of downtown Vale, my sister and that drunk you call an uncle showed up, both of them drunk and singing horribly at the top of their lungs," Weiss continued.

Yang burst out laughing, clutching her sides. "Oh my Oum! Now that I can fucking believe! Uncle Qrow certainly has a way with Winter!"

"Yeah, I've noticed," Weiss said dryly. "Can I continue?"

Yang nodded, still grinning.

"Thank you. As I was saying, Qrow and Winter stumble over to me, and Winter stuffs a bottle of whiskey into my hands," Weiss said. "After that…things are a little fuzzy. The next thing I remember…"

"Weiss?" Yang's eyebrow rose.

"Yang, promise me you won't flip out," the heiress pleaded. "I really like keeping my head on my shoulders."

"I won't," Yang said, unusually solemn.

Weiss took a deep breath, looking down at her hands clutching her skirt. "The next thing I remember is waking up naked in bed with Qrow and Winter."

"Wait…repeat that last bit?" Yang dug a finger into her ear. "Because, uh, it sounded like you said you woke up in bed with my uncle and your sister."

"You heard right." Weiss's face was practically on fire now, all of the blood in her body rushing towards it.

"…"

"…"

"…did you spit or swallow?" Yang finally asked after a pregnant pause.

"Yang!" Weiss growled in annoyance. "This is serious! I think I had sex with my own sister!"

"Eh, you were drunk. It doesn't count." Yang waved her hand dismissively, and she smirked. "Gotta say, I admire your ambition. Both Schnee daughters going after one dusty old crow? This is practically a scandal."

"You…don't care that I slept with Winter?"

"Why would I? You do you, Weiss. If you think you're physically and sexually attracted to her, then fuck it. Who cares?" Yang shrugged. "Qrow certainly doesn't. if I know him, he was probably applauding it when you were slipping each other the tongue last night."

"Yang!" Weiss's face somehow managed to turn even redder at this point. "Look, the thing is, I don't yet know if I'm actually attracted to her, or if it was just something I did in my drunken state."

"Well, what do you think of when you think of her?" Yang asked.

"That's the thing!" Weiss wanted to scream. "I don't get it! I see her as a better mother than my own, and yet parts of me I'd rather not describe in detail start feeling a certain way." 'Just thinking about her drives me insane.'

She started to space out a little bit as she remembered just how big and soft Winter's breasts were, and Yang sweatdropped a little and waved her hand in front of the heiress's face. "Uh, Remnant to Weiss? Are you there?"

Weiss blinked and shook her head. "Sorry." 'Dammit. I think I might actually like her in that way.'

'Told you.'

'Shut up.'

'Ha! Nope~.'

"Well Weiss, ask your sis how she feels about what happened," Yang suggested. "Otherwise, you'd never know how she felt about it."

"Thank you, Yang. For understanding and not calling me a heretic," Weiss said, breathing a sigh of relief; she knew all too well how hard Yang's punches were from sparring class, and she did not want to be on the receiving end of one again.

"No problem." Yang grinned. She turned to leave, looking back at the heiress. "Oh, and Weiss?"

"Yeah?"

"I admire your taste. If Winter was my big sis, I'd want to tap that too."

Yang laughed as the textbook soared over her head.

At least Weiss had someone to turn to.

A/N: And that's it. Sorry this damn thing takes so long. But alas, this is one of my fics that's on the backburner until a few of my other ones wrap up. Till next time!

Discord: DPL #5371