FIC TITLE: Maelstorm One Shots/

Work In Progress

Author- PTBvisiongrrl

Part- 4/5

Date- 3-12-07

Rating – R (MOSTLY FOR LANGUAGE AND TOPICAL ISSUES)

Pairings/Characters- Lee/Kara

Word Count- 1226

Category- Short Story

Genre- Angst

Archiving- The Fallout Shelter, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, All others please ask!

Warnings- Not really- just language…

Spoilers- THROUGH SEASON THREE

Disclaimers- Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…

Summary- Why does Kara give up so easily?

Chapter Four:

Let Her Go

It felt almost like old times, launching with Lee and flying with him. It made her miss him more than she already did. Her entire life had flying; flying with him was always that much better. The knowledge that she had to be able to fly- that it was the one part of her that still felt like "Kara"- reinforced her earlier decision about the baby.

It was an easy CAP. The blue of the skies were half-familiar, a sight almost forgotten after months in deep space. She and Apollo did not talk much, but she could feel his worry practically vibrate over the com. It was one of his more endearing but annoying qualities. Eventually, she felt his voice tickle her ear. "Starbuck, Apollo. How we doing?"

She bit back a hollow chuckle. Such a mother hen! Trying to reassure him, she said, "Copasetic."

The tension lifted a bit from his voice. "Another thirty minutes and we head back to the barn."

The day was shattered in sections by a speeding metal blur past her cockpit. She cursed. "Dammit. Apollo. One turkey, my right three, level in ten. Ducking in and out of the clouds. Engaging." She went after this phantom metal frakker that only she saw, determined to fry his ass and show Lee that she wasn't loosing it.

To show herself that she wasn't completely loosing it, aside from a few visions.

A quick exchange with the Galactica confirmed Lee's suspicions. He didn't see it, and neither did Draedis. That didn't mean it wasn't there- and that wasn't a platitude. He knew Starbuck was the best pilot he'd ever seen, himself included, and had the best instincts. If she saw it, it was there. That didn't stop his worry that he couldn't see her.

Kara's voice barked in his ear, "Apollo, Starbuck. Weapons hot, committing. This time I'm gonna drag him back and dump his sorry ass on the hangar deck." She sounded deadly serious, not at all unsure or unstable. He knew it had been the right thing, leaving her in the cockpit. Flying with her today was more for her benefit than his; she needed to know that, no matter what had happened between them, he believed in her.

He was getting worried, however, that he still couldn't find her in the cloud cover. "Starbuck, Apollo. I've lost you on Draedis. I'm blind." When she didn't answer, he tried again. "Starbuck, Apollo. I repeat. I've got no sign of you or the Raider." Busy concentrating on the fight, Kara didn't even hear him.

Still radio silence and he began to worry. He'd seen no fireworks, no raider, Where the frak was she? "Starbuck. Report. Starbuck report. This is Apollo do you read me?" Fear crept into his voice. "Starbuck report. Starbuck!" She opened her mouth to respond, and the world around her shattered and went dark.

Kara resurfaced from unconsciousness, wondering how long she had been out. It seemed like forever, but she knew if it had been that long, she would already be dead. The exchange with Leoben echoed in her mind. You're not Leoben- I never said I was… Alarms were blaring and oxygen was venting through a hole in her windshield at an alarming rate. In that instance, she felt the world snap back into place.

This was what she had to do, the new path she had been searching for.

The gods had sent her these visions. Whatever her destiny was, it was tied to that frakkin' mandela. The image had followed her throughout her life; it made sense that this life should end with it, as well. She knew now that death was not death, that there was something there in between- and that she needed to find out what it was.

There was a barely a moment of regret for the child in her womb. It was a child she had never wanted, refused to bear. Still, there was a tinge of sadness. More emotion, though, was reserved for Apollo.

No matter how she tried to explain this, in the few moments she had left to speak to him, he would blame himself.

His voice interrupted her epiphany. "Starbuck, Apollo. Lost you on dradis. I say again…I've lost you. Squawk ident. I'll try and get a fix on you. Kara!" The desperation in his voice hurt her, but not for long. She was moving on, and he could not follow. He had to realize that she would be okay, not matter what it looked like. The gods had spoken to her. The gods had shown her.

But he was an atheist. He didn't believe in her gods, any god. She settled on simple reassurance. "Lee? I'm not afraid anymore."

The panic rose in his voice. "Say again?"

Lee followed her as closely as he could, fighting to keep his bird under control and in the air. "All right, Kara. Listen to me. Forget the damn toaster. Climb now or you're dead."

She didn't answer, and he knew that Kara Thrace had already pulled away from him, in a way he didn't understand and had no weapons to fight against. Fear spiked in his chest. "We can still pull out of this. We haven't gone past the point of no return. Kara!"

This was not the first time she had looked death in the face, but she was still frightened. She felt a tremor in her bones, and only her faith in the gods kept her hand from pulling the eject lever. The clouds swirled around her as her bird circled, pulled into the vortex of the mandela. Certainty gripped her- she would not die, no matter what it might look like to Apollo or the Galactica. The gods had a mission for her.

Her mission was not to die on some nameless planet in uncharted space. But the gods needed to know that she understood her destiny, after spending all this time fighting it, before the mission would be revealed to her. She had to let go.

Lee was beside himself. "Godsdammit, where are you? Visual. Visual. Okay. Kara, I'm coming to get you." He was somehow going to save her the way she had saved him so many times. Then she spoke to him, and her voice sent chills up and down his spine.

"Lee. I'll see you on the other side." There was finality in her tone; the here and now was already her past. She was looking beyond it, into the brightness.

"Kara please listen to me…come back," Lee pleaded.

He was going to miss her. He would beat himself up about so much of their past, their misunderstandings. She wished she could give him peace of mind to continue. She settled for a simple request, one that if he had been able to do already, there wouldn't be a child now. "Just let me go."

Anger and recognition of his loss flared hotly in Apollo's tone. "Godsdammit, Kara. You come back. Come back!"

She regretted not being able to better explain to him. The emotion in his voice made tears burn in her eyes. She tried to reassure him. "It's okay. Just let me go. They're waiting for me." And then she heard or saw no more, save an explosion, fierce heat, and her body pulling in all directions at once.