~ Chapter 4 - Conflicting emotions ~

When Ichigo woke up the next morning or afternoon, he couldn't tell, he had a pounding head ache and Shinji was clinging on to him in his sleep.

"Shin?..." Ichigo whispered.

"Nnn, five more min' ma."

Ichigo chuckled before nudging his friend in the ribs. "Time to wake up, sleeping beauty."

"Lucky for you that I have a good mornin' temper, if you keep that up it might end badly someday."

"The possibility that you smother someone in their sleep is more likely to happen first."

"No one has been complaining before." His friend said as he detangled himself from Ichigo and got up from bed. He went out in the kitchen to put on some coffee. He glanced at the clock on the wall and decided to reheat an old pizza laying around in the fridge.

"Pizza and coffee huh? Such luxury." Ichigo said as he sat down at the table.

"The ultimate brunch. Just eat an' behave."

They sipped some coffee and ate pizza while enjoying the silence. Shinji turned his head as he heard a sniffle.

"You crying?"

"No… Think I wore too light clothes yesterday. My head hurts too."

"Don't go infecting me, I have to stay healthy."

Then the door bell rang.

"Are you expecting someone?" Ichigo wondered curiously.

"Not that I know of… maybe it's Maki wanting to take revenge?"

"You would like that, don't you?"

"A lot." Shinji grinned.

Shinji went and opened the door; the visitor had waited long enough, but when it swung open, someone he didn't expect stood on the door step. He narrowed his eyes while watching the man suspiciously.

"What the fuck are you doin' here?" He spat venomously.

~A few weeks later~

Ichigo had just finished his shift at the Urahara's shop and was locking the doors. His few hours had gone to become almost full working days, and lately he had been opening and closing the store all by himself. His English class finals had been one week ago and he had aced all the tests without any difficulties. Life on the outside seemed to go great for the orangette. Seemed.

In the last week, Ichigo had seen Kariya once or twice. When he actually was home they barely spoke to each other. They held themselves at each end of the house. Ichigo still made his chores as promised, and ended up eating alone every evening. He always made a plate of food that he put in the fridge for his boyfriend to reheat. Kariya was still obsessed with his phone and his constant text messaging had gone to hour long calls in the evenings in the study. Their bedroom was wall to wall with it, and Ichigo was forced to endure the muffled sound of the conversations when he went to bed.

Ichigo still hadn't told the truth to his boyfriend about working in Urahara's store, but it didn't really matter. Kariya wasn't at home during those hours anyway. One thing bothering him more, compared to his situation with his boyfriend, was the silent treatment from Shinji. They hadn't been on good terms since… well since the day after he had given him roof over his head.

"What do you mean, you're going back? Are you out of your mind?! He hit you Ichigo!"

"Kariya-san apologized!"

"He has apologized before. Can't you see that it's just empty words? He only says what you need to hear!"

"I trust him, Shinji. If he didn't care, he would never have come here to get me. This alone is enough to me."

"You know that I don't tolerate any violence among couples. This is no different! But sure, go ahead. Don't run back when you realize the truth, and when it's too late."

The spare clothes Shinji had lent him, still reminded him each time he opened his wardrobe. Ichigo frowned at the memory. Even at the finals Shinji had ignored him, but he was certain of that the blonde had been the one flicking paper balls at him during the tests. Renji who didn't know about the situation had been utterly confused over the two friends' strange behavior.

Kariya's car stood parked on the drive way when Ichigo reached home. It was late in the afternoon and Kariya probably wanted food after a long day at work, even if he wouldn't eat it until Ichigo had eaten his share. When Ichigo came in through the door, a pair of sneakers was in the entrance together with a jacket he never had seen before. Kariya never wore sneakers and the jacket was too small to fit him, hence there was someone else here. He cautiously walked in to the living room, where two glasses of finished wine was left behind on the small coffee table. He walked further in, in the ominously quiet house, trying to find his boyfriend and the unexpected guest. Ichigo did.

It was the rustling of sheets that had led him to the bedroom on the upper floor. He walked in and felt his stomach drop. Kariya was leaning against the headboard with a very obvious lump under the covers, which was moving up and down. Ichigo saw red, stomped in and threw the covers aside to get it confirmed. When he saw enough, he threw them back again. Kariya's cold eyes connected with Ichigo's.

"Anything more you wanted?" He asked casually.

Ichigo gritted his teeth in an attempt to restrain himself from slapping the man; instead he walked out from the room and banged the door closed. He wouldn't sink to the same level. As he descended from the stairs, he had to concentrate on breathing, but it only came as short gasps. He was angry and disappointed at the same time, and the conflicting feelings made his heart hurt so damn much. Ichigo had been suspecting it for a while now, but to actually face the truth had hurt more then he could imagine.

Ichigo sped down on the motorway, urging his bike to go faster. His head was clouded with what he had witnessed earlier. Was that the first time a stranger lay in their bed or had it happened more times before that? No… that couldn't be since Ichigo was the one to change the sheets. He couldn't even go further, because that would disgust him to no end. With no destination in mind Ichigo began driving on the smaller roads. He enjoyed it when his driving needed to be used more then to just drive on a straight road. It was a bigger challenge to take curves in high speed, leaning close to the ground, to be able to drive through them without dying.

He had been driving for a long time, and the landscape had turned to something utterly beautiful when the sun started to sink. He stretched carefully while taking in the scenery not paying attention to the road as he should. The bike suddenly started to wobble as he lost the air pressure in his rear tire. In the panic that arose, he pulled the breaks in order to make the vehicle to go slower. This only made the bike wobblier and Ichigo had a really hard time to keep it upright. He let go of the breaks which resulted in less wobble, and to his relief the bike was starting to slow down. The danger was still there, but it wasn't as big as it had been one minute ago. Everything would have gone smoothly if Ichigo hadn't put down his feet a little bit too early. The control over the bike was lost; it fell to the side and slid on the ground until it came to a stop. Ichigo managed to jump off without hurting himself in the process. That was scary. Ichigo took a couple of shaky breaths as his previous adrenalin input ebbed away.

He rose his bike from the ground, and leaned it on the kickstand to inspect the damage. Ichigo walked around the bike to find the reason for the crash. A small puncture wound in the rear tire was the cause and it had gotten a nasty looking scratch from the fall, aside from the flat. The orangette scowled and cursed over that his almost brand new bike had gotten pretty messed up in a matter of seconds. He looked in the tail space to find his emergency reparation kit. The salesman had told them, when Kariya bought the bike, that it was the best kit on the market. It was probably true since it had been ridiculously expensive, but that didn't say anything about how easy or how difficult it would be to actually use.

Okay, I made the whole bigger with this hand-drill- thing, then I lubed the hole, but the fucking thing with the sticky thing, that's supposed to go in the there is too big to fit…and it just broke. FUCK.

Ichigo took the whole kit and threw it in the ditch in rage. The best kit my ass. He sat down, quite visible to traffic, on the pavement beside his motorcycle. His visor was flipped up and down as he thought about the situation. Calling Kariya was out of the question and he had no idea what the number to a towing company was. Ichigo was too pissed to call around to get the number for one. (And too stupid to Google for one but that's beside the point.) Things are usually solved by themselves if time is given, but it could take ten minutes or hours.

It only took an hour and a half before someone came to his rescue. A rusty, paint flake off, old pickup truck stopped after it had driven past and reversed back. Ichigo eyed the car suspiciously while he simultaneously begged to God that it wouldn't be a serial killer in it. The door opened and a man stepped out. Ichigo watched as the man with stone washed jeans and a black tank top made his way towards his direction. He also noted the ridiculously blue hair and the numerous earrings and cuffs in the man's ears. He was so going to get murdered. The ripped body presented to him, barely shielded by the top, only made it more convincing. If he was lucky, maybe the guy only would steal his bike and let him be.

"Is there a problem?" A deep baritone voice asked him.

"Uhm, no… Everything is fine." Ichigo answered per automatic.

"The paintjob and the flat tire say otherwise."

"It's supposed to look like that." Lame Ichigo, lame.

"No, it's not."

At least he tried.

"I got a flat, almost killed myself and now I'm stranded. Satisfied?" Ops, totally forgot about being his kill of the day.

The blue smurf laughed out loud, probably at his stupidity. "You sure aren't afraid of you, aren't you?"

"My legs are shaking like mad, I would say I am."

Then it became quiet and they ended up in a staring competition.

"Look…-" The man was first to break the silence. "I got a friend who's a mechanic and I'm on my way there. You can put your bike on the pickup and he can take a look at it. Sounds okay?"

Ichigo didn't really have another choice. "Sure."

With joined forces both of them got Ichigo's bike at the back of the car. They tied it securely with lashing straps to ensure that it stayed in place. Ichigo took off one off his gloves and stretched out his hand.

"My name is Ichigo by the way. Ichigo Kurosaki."

"I'm Grimmjow." The bluenette said as he grasped the others hand and shook it in a firm handshake. Ichigo withdrew his arm and took off his helmet. He made eye contact with Grimmjow who seemed a little startled. The man swallowed hard and lowered his gaze. That was not the reaction Ichigo had hoped for. They got in the car and drove all the way in awkward silence. Grimmjow wore a troubled frown while he drove like a mad man.

When the car came to a stop, Ichigo couldn't do other than to wonder how that man had gotten his license. That got off his mind quickly when he saw 'the shop'. It looked run down and out of business. Car wrecks stood outside, leaking diverse fluids. On top of that was a sign next to the 'Auto mechanic' one that said Jiruga's tattoo. What the hell is this kind of place?

"Are you gonna help me with this or not?" The man named Grimmjow barked at him. He was going to get killed for sure.

Grimmjow walked first, heading for the door, Ichigo pushed his motorcycle in front of himself as he followed. The stranger held up the large metal door to Ichigo so he could get into the building. He walked in a couple of feet before stopping and taking in the space. It was a decent shop despite its outer appearance. Ichigo parked his bike and looked anxiously at the bluenette's direction. The man stomped to a closed door with a window next to it, which had the blinds pulled down. He banged three times, then waiting for a response. When he got none, he started to kick it with his right foot. Clearly irritated and annoyed, the man shouted at it.

"Nnoitra! Pull up your fucking pants and get your ass out here!"

It took half a second of so before it flew open. In the door way, a very lanky man with black long hair and an eye patch appeared. His jeans barely stayed on his hips as he hadn't bothered to put them on correctly.

"Che, I was gettin' to the finale, blueberry."

"I can clearly see that, and don't the. fuck call me that!"

"What?... Blueberry?" The mechanic said.

"Just fuck you."

"Whatever. So why are ya here?" Nnoitra finished putting on his pants in a more decent fasion.

"Don't be shitting me. You said that you had finished it."

"Just foolin' around with ya."

Ichigo stood by his bike watching the unfolding scene. Another psycho? Accidentally he got eye contact with the, what was he, the owner of this shop?

"What's up with tha kitten?"

"The kid needs to change to a new rear tire."

Kitten? Kid?

The black haired man came closer and stared at Ichigo, up and down, down and up. He felt naked under the one eyed staring.

"Is this supposed to be some fucked up joke?" Nnoitra said low and menacing.

"Huh?"

Ichigo didn't understand, he'd never seen the guy before. Some seconds later he was pushed against the wall, restrained by a large hand and skinny fingers around his throat. By reflex he clawed at the hand with his gloved ones. Breathing was difficult at this point. Blue blur appeared behind the attackers back and firmly laid one hand on his shoulder.

"Let the kid go. He hasn't done anything." Grimmjow said calmly.

The pressure disappeared and Ichigo slid down to the ground, as his dazed state couldn't hold him up. He took deep breaths of the precious air to fill his empty lungs. I better get out of here. Ichigo rose from the floor with unsteady legs. The kickstand to the bike was kicked away and he began to roll the bike towards the door he came in through.

"Where are you going?" The bluenette asked.

"Far away from here, isn't that obvious?"

"You still need a new tire or are you planning to walk home?"

"That really sounds like the best option right now. I'll come back when I feel like getting murdered."

Grimmjow stared at Ichigo, as if wanting to say something.

"Nnoitra- sama~!" A voice called.

"He's busy anyway…" Ichigo was at the door, pushed it open and rolled out. The heavy door closed behind him and he mentally prepared himself for the long walk back.

"You stubborn idiot! Get back and we'll fix the bike."

Ichigo turned around, fixed his gaze on Grimmjow. "Free of charge?"

"Uhm… we can discuss that later but, yeah, probably. Look, you just resemble a person we knew a long time ago, an' it triggered bad memories for Nnoi."

Ichigo let out a sigh and turned the bike around. Why he wasn't running away like his gut feeling told him to, he had no idea. "Okay."

Ichigo plopped down on an old couch, to rest his tired body, while his bike was getting the care it needed.

"Great, another newly licensed idiot, crashin' with a new bike." Nnoitra muttered as he gathered his scattered tools.

"Actually, I've had my license for two seasons, the bike too. I take care of it."

"Then you aren't ridin' enough."

The mechanic was right, but it wasn't something Ichigo wanted to discuss further without dipping in to personal information, which these strangers had nothing to do with.

The ruined wheel was removed, and Nnoitra begun to put on a new tyre. Ichigo had been left alone which suited him just fine. The sooner, the better it was if he could get out from there. Grimmjow had disappeared somewhere behind the building to his relief, the man was intimidating.

"What made ya not notice this nail?" The mechanic shouted and threw it at Ichigo's direction; the orangette stood at picked it up. The nail that could have made his afternoon very unpleasant was the same length as his thumb. "I was thinking about other stuff." He mumbled. Just as he sat down again, Grimmjow came in through the back door. He wore a huge grin on his lips.

"She's just as new. You did a good job."

"Tche, of course I did. 'Sides you don't let no one else touch her, so I can't disappoint ya, can I?" Nnoitra turned his head to Ichigo and wiped his hands on a cloth. "Yer bike is repaired, take it for a spin an' I'll check it again." The threesome walked out to the front yard where Ichigo mounted his bike. It roared to life when he turned on the ignition, he put on his helmet and drew away. Grimmjow and Nnoitra watched as Ichigo sped up on the road in high speed, to take a sharp turn and turn the vehicle further down on it. "Brings back memories don't it?" Nnoitra said in a low voice. "Both good and bad." Grimmjow answered somberly.

Ichigo stopped his bike in front of the men after his test ride. He was impressed over the mechanic's skills to be able to make it roll in such a short amount of time. There wasn't any difference from before, so he was satisfied with the exchange tire. "It's as good as new." He praised.

"I'll need ta tightenin' the screws some more, then yer ready to go." Nnoitra went down on his knees to make the final adjustments. Grimmjow disappeared once again and when Ichigo heard the engine of a car, he figured that the man had gotten to retrieve his vehicle. A black car came with great speed, and cut the corner of the building sharply. The tires left marks in the gravel as an evidence of how fast Grimmjow was actually driving. He made a hard brake to make the car stop next to them, once again making dents in the ground. A puff of sand dust cloud drifted past them. Grimmjow stepped out of the car and lighted a cigarette while he leaned against the hood of the car. When Ichigo stared at the well polished black car with silver racing stripes, something triggered in his mind. He took a walk around the car, looked inside it and scratched his head. After he had done a tour of it, he stared some more.

"Isn't she a beauty?" Nnoitra asked as he came up beside Ichigo.

"I guess." He replied and shrugged. It was just a car, not a woman they were speaking about.

Grimmjow snorted before inhaling the last of his cancer stick. It was flicked to the ground before he made eye contact with Ichigo. He met the striking blue eyes and could almost feel himself drown in them, the gaze was too intense but then he remembered. "You where the one who fucking tried to run me over once!"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"It should! The way you drive is dangerous! It's a miracle that you haven't run anyone over yet."

"Kid…" Grimmjow growled. "Don't insult me, don't insult my car and you should really watch your tongue! This car is a 1968 Mustang Pit Viper and origi-"

"It still doesn't justify what you could have done! This isn't about your damn car; it's about your driving."

"You really are asking for it now!"

Ichigo was going to open his mouth to hurl out another comment but the brute's tall friend stepped in between them. He shielded Ichigo with his back and had a silent exchange with Grimmjow who took a step back before uttering; "Fuck this." Peeking out from Nnoitra, Ichigo saw Grimmjow slamming his car door before driving away angrily.

"That car means everything ta 'im and he's generally just an ass sometimes, so don't take it too personally."

"How much for the job?" Ichigo really wanted to get out of there.

"Don't worry about it."

Reluctantly Ichigo headed towards home. He had no other choice since it was the only place he could go and he was opening the store tomorrow morning. Kariya still seemed to be home when Ichigo returned. He sat by the kitchen island, deep in thought, when Ichigo found him. Ichigo leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest. "We can't go on like this." He sighed.

"When where you going to tell me about Kiskue?" Kariya's voice echoed in the dead quiet kitchen.

"When you were going to tell me about that slut you have been seeing behind my back. So never."

"You don't even deny it." Kariya said amused. "I've known about it for some time actually. I accidentally bumped into Kiskue on a conference. He told me how good you took care of his store and that it was a wise decision of me to let you earn your own money." Kariya turned his head to look Ichigo straight in the eyes. "I can't remember giving such permission. That's why I told Kiskue to fire you."

"You did…what?" I'm not supposed to have your permission for anything! I can do whatever I want. I'm a free man."

"Then you can pay for your share of this household, half each shouldn't be that difficult, right?"

"You know that I wouldn't be able to-"

"I'm clearly aware of that." Kariya interrupted noticeably irritated.

"Was cheating on me some kind of cruel punishment?"

"One can view it like that way. He came on to me and I was, well…bored."

"I gave up my whole life for you! I packed my belongings, left my friends to move away from them to live with you. They hated me for picking you over them. Don't you understand? I sacrificed everything, shouldn't that have a meaning to you? Are you so blind to see how much I loved you? You have been my whole world. Don't throw that away, like it never mattered to you."

Kariya had the nerve to quietly chuckle.

Ichigo could feel how his heart broke in two pieces right there, tears pooled in his eyes when he thought about the memories they shared, and how happy they had been when they first met. It all was history now and there was nothing he could do to make it better again.

"I want you out of the house, tonight." Kariya said seriously.

It was as if someone had punched Ichigo straight in the gut. "No…I-"He tried, but couldn't get out any words. Kariya glared at him and didn't move a muscle as Ichigo's tears started to fall from his eyes. "You can't force me." He choked out.

"Oh, yes I can. In a way you're just a freeloader. Since I earn all the money, pay for the expenses and own this house, I have all the power to do so. I own everything, even the clothes that you are wearing. Don't you understand in what position you are in?"

"You still can't throw me out in the middle of the night!" Ichigo screamed.

Kariya smirked before drawing the ugliest guilt card he could. "Now, you wouldn't want your dear Kisuke's store to suddenly meet with an accident, would you?"

"You would never-"

"Dare? It's up to you to find out…"

How could he threaten someone like that? When had his lover turned in to such a cruel heartless monster? He sniffled and tried to stop his tears which weren't easy without any loving comfort. "I have nowhere to go." He said quietly, but got no reply from Kariya.

Ichigo stood by the end of the bed, stuffing clothes in a big duffle bag. He had a pretty big wardrobe and wanted to take it all with him, but the limited space in the bag made it impossible. Ichigo had some personal belongings, memories of his deceased mother. They were hidden in a shoe box, on a shelf behind his Hugo Boss suit. The lid was opened and the items in it were brought out. The box contained a locket made out of pure gold with a picture of her inside, a faded photo of the family they once had been, and the house key to where his dad still lived. Ichigo hung the necklace around his neck and put the other items in the bag with the rest of the things he had managed to gather.

Kariya came to the hall way meanwhile Ichigo was putting on his black Converse. He slung the duffel over his shoulder after rising from the floor. His gaze was held low, concentrated on his exboyfriend's feet. As much as he somewhere had known, he felt torn in to pieces. He clutched the strap hard, enough to turn his knuckles white, while wondering what he was supposed to say.

Good bye? I'll see you?

I hope I never see you again?

Don't leave me?

We don't need to do this! Take me back? We can work on this!

"The keys…" Kariya's voice drew him out from his spiral of thought. Ichigo searched for the keys in his pocket and laid them in the outstretched hand. "And the other ones…" The bike keys. His freedom, his passion. Kariya couldn't be serious of keeping the bike? He knew how much Ichigo loved it. "The keys, Ichigo." He probably wouldn't be able to afford having it in the first place. He threw the keys to his precious bike on Kariya. They ended up falling down on the floor on the man's feet.

"I hope you are happy now?" Ichigo said with gritted teeth. He had grown to be more angry then sad now; the loss of his bike was the last straw for him.

"That's everything, unless you didn't steal anything of mine."

Ichigo turned around, laid a hand on the door knob and without further argument, fuss or even a simple 'good bye' he walked out through the door, to never return, ever again.

TBA

AN: Finally some Grimmjow.