Chapter Four
"Aw, man, Shrek, you gotta watch it. You can't just blow one off like that, my mouth was open and everything."
"Donkey, if it was me you'd be dead."
I giggled, inwardly, holding my nose.
"It's-
"-brimstone," Sara, Mell and I said in unison. Shrek turned to us growling, muttering, "Precisely."
We had been climbing a mountainside for nearly three hours and the disgusting smell was getting stronger. We all had our shirts over our noses. Our journey had lasted longer than expected. We were held up because the four of us refused to eat stewed bat, which made Shrek even more grumpy. We took longer to search for more apple trees.
The slope got steeper and steeper. I eventually started crawling up the rocks.
"OW! Whoa, falling, falling!" My feet slid down a few feet and I fell backwards, creating the "domino effect", with Mike behind me and so forth.
"Geroff me! Geroff me!" someone's muffled voice yelled.
"Sorry, sorry," Mike clambered up a boulder and let Sara and Mell out from the bottom of the "landslide."
Casting dirty looks at him, Sara and Mell wiped themselves off and hurried up after Shrek. I shrugged and followed.
At long last, we reached the top.
"Aw, jeez," I swallowed with difficulty. Over the brim was a little path down to a not-so-sturdy-looking bridge over a lake of lava. On the other side stood a huge black castle that looked as if it needed a good paint job and a relocation notice. It stood on an island with lava floating about it on all sides. The bridge was the only way to get across.
"Aw, jeez," I repeated. Shrek grinned.
"Sure it's big enough, but look at the location!" he laughed, for what seemed like the first time since we arrived. We gave him confused looks and he shut up, rolling his eyes.
"Well, come on," Shrek climbed over and started down the path. The donkey seemed a little hesitant, as did I.
"Uh, Shrek? Remember when you said that ogres have layers?"
"Yeah." Shrek was still walking.
"Well, got a little surprise for ya, donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves."
"But donkeys don't have sleeves."
"You know what I mean."
I looked at my friends and slowly stepped down the path, trying not to look at what was in front of us.
"You don't mean you're afraid?" Shrek continued.
"Oh, no, I'm just dancing now!" Mike cut in sarcastically.
"I'm just a little uncomfortable about going over a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!" Donkey agreed.
"Come on, just don't look down."
"I'll keep that in mind," I muttered.
"Me too." Mell leaned over, staring down as a hot bubble burst in the fires below.
Donkey went first, muttering to himself. Then Shrek went, muttering to himself too, complaining. Then I went and Sara and Mell and Mike went behind. I held onto the rope railings until I thought my hands would surely peel away from rope burn. I stepped every five seconds, careful to keep my eyes straight on the castle door that seemed a million miles away.
"Oh, God, oh God, oh God," I could hear Sara muttering over my shoulder. Mell wasn't saying anything. I couldn't tell what Mike was doing.
"SHREK! I'm lookin' down!" the donkey yelled in front.
I whimpered, gripping the railings even harder.
"Oh, for the love of Pete!" Shrek picked up Donkey and stood back up rather hard. The bridge bounced.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! Don't do that!" I screamed. Shrek looked over his shoulder, amused.
"What? This?" he jumped, making the bridge sway.
"Yes, that!"
"Do it. Okay." Shrek laughed and shook the bridge again.
"STOP IT!" I screamed and Sara and Mell joined this time and I thought I heard Mike screaming too.
"Okay, okay, sheesh," Shrek walked on.
Getting a hold of myself, I stepped shakily onward, squeezing my eyes shut.
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die," I muttered until my hands could no longer go any farther on the railing. My eyes slowly opened and I was on the other side. I exhaled a huge sigh of relief, breathing with difficulty.
"MOVE PLEASE!" my friends shouted from behind. I jumped and walked forwards up a little hill.
We entered the cavernous entrance hallway. It looked a little like Hogwarts had, but gloomier and lifeless. The black poles that reached to the ceiling were half burnt off. Remnants of knights armor lay about the floor and bones peeked out of them. I shrank away from a skull, looming out from a helmet in the corner.
"Ok, now to find the princess," Shrek looked around, "Donkey go find the stairs."
"Why?"
"The princess will be up the stairs in the tallest room in the tallest tower."
"What makes you think she'll be there?"
"I read it in a book once." Shrek kept looking around.
"Oh, can I go with him?" Sara pleaded.
"God, I don't care!" Shrek waved an arm.
"Oh, yay!" Sara grinned, "Come on Donkey! We'll find those stairs! We'll whip der butt too!"
Donkey leaped with excitement and followed at Sara's heels down a hallway.
"Come on, the lot of you!" Shrek beckoned Mell, Mike and me on.
We walked a little ways down another hallway. It was colder down this way it seemed to get quieter. To ease the stillness, I nudged Mell and we started humming "Uptown Girl."
"Not again," Mike hissed behind us.
Still humming, I gave him a dirty look and marched faster.
"Hey, there's the tower." Shrek pointed to a tall black tower in the distance outside a hole in the wall.
"Now where's the--?
"DRAGON!!!" I heard Sara's scream from behind. I whipped around long enough to see Sara and the donkey whiz past. I watched them for a spilt second, dumbstruck. Then came to my senses and ran faster than I've ever ran before.
For little legs, Shrek could run really fast, he had to be faster than Rivers. I fell behind Mike, not being able to run as quickly and he stopped, grabbed my arm and dragged my forward.
"Ow, ow, ow!" I yelped. He sighed and slung me over his shoulders. I watched fearfully behind us as we made our way through the twisting hallways. All of a sudden, I saw a burst of flames around the corner we had just turned and I panicked.
"Dragon, dragon, dragon!" I wailed, punching his shoulder.
"Stop it, you idiot!" he yelled back and tripped over some loose armor. I went flying onto my back in front of him.
"Look who's the idiot now?" I shouted angrily at him. I picked myself up and started in the direction Sara and Mell were supposedly going.
"Wait, wait, wait! I'm stuck!" Mike called behind me. I turned just in time to see a huge creature take the back of his shirt in its teeth and carry him off. I whimpered again and ran, calling my friends' names.
"We're over here!" someone called from a corner. It was Sara. She was beckoning to me. My eyes filled with tears.
"The-they-I mean it-got Mike!" I panted. Sara stood up, looked at me and waved me towards the dragon, beginning to run.
"What the heck are you doing?"
"Tis a queeeeessssstttt!" she yelled, turning a corner. I followed her. Donkey was suddenly at my heels.
"Shrek's up in the tower!" he yelled up at me. We hurried back down the hallway and into another cavernous hall where the dragon was sitting in a big pile of gold coins with Mike wrapped tightly in its tail. I almost laughed. Sara was no where in sight. The dragon stared angrily at Mike, who seemed to be having a nervous breakdown.
"I-I.um-you have a tight grip, don't you?" he struggled.
"Don't worry, Mike, we're coming!"
Two ropes swung downward from a balcony and Mell and Sara, clothed in armor and swords, wrapped their ropes around the dragon. The creature roared with frustration. Sara and Mell swung around and around until they let go and landed in somersaults next to me. Mell stood up shakily and dizzily walked towards me.
"N-nothing to it." She grinned.
"I'm the one in the middle, Mell." I giggled.
"Wow. That was like the Paratrooper, except better."
I raised my eyebrows at Sara. She cowered.
"I'm soooooooorryyyyyy."
"Come on. The dragon is still here."
The dragon was clawing at the ropes tied around its waist and neck. Mike was released in its efforts to free itself. Donkey came between my legs.
"Whew. That was a close one. Another minute and your friend would've been toast. Literally."
Mike was laying facedown on the ground. We ran to him and knelt beside him, flipping him over. He slowly opened his eyes. I looked him over.
"You look ok to me. Can you get up?"
He gave me a shocked look.
"NO."
"Wimp. Try."
He pulled himself to a sitting position. All of a sudden, something wrapped around my waist and I was yanked upwards violently. I looked up and saw the dragon's face in mine.
"Don't eat me. I-I'm just a little fourteen-year-old girl. You don't like me, really you don't. It." I remembered what the donkey did. ".it would ruin that lovely smile of yours."
The dragon looked menacing at me for a minute and I squeezed my eyes shut, ready for the blow. But it didn't come. I allowed my eyes to open and the dragon was somehow smiling at me.
"Hehe." I waved with my free hand, smiling weakly. My friends were waiting on the ground with bated breath.
Slowly, the dragon let me down on the ground and patted me on the head. I exhaled, relieved. The monster then looked at Sara and Mell, seeming to ask them if there were any more offenders. They smiled nonchalantly.
But there were more takers. All of a sudden, Shrek came through the door with a girl behind him.
"Run!" he yelled and we followed together through the door and down the hallway to the entrance hall. The girl was running in front of us. Shrek then did that trick with the chain and wound the dragon around the poles of the entrance hall, making it caught. It started getting angry again and blowing flames.
We ran out the front door with the dragon almost at our heels. We were running over the bridge.halfway.three-quarters.CRACK! The other end of the bridge snapped from the dragon's fire and we went tumbling towards the lava.
Grabbing onto Mike's hand underneath me and holding onto a part of the bridge, I screamed as loud as I could. The bridge fell to the wall of rock on the opposite side of the castle, banging against it. When it slowed down, I climbed up, letting Mike grab hold of the bridge.
I reached the top, gasping and crawled up the path a little ways. Mike collapsed on a patch of grass. Sara and Mell fell beside me, panting.
"See?" Sara gasped, "'Twas a quest."
"Aw, man, Shrek, you gotta watch it. You can't just blow one off like that, my mouth was open and everything."
"Donkey, if it was me you'd be dead."
I giggled, inwardly, holding my nose.
"It's-
"-brimstone," Sara, Mell and I said in unison. Shrek turned to us growling, muttering, "Precisely."
We had been climbing a mountainside for nearly three hours and the disgusting smell was getting stronger. We all had our shirts over our noses. Our journey had lasted longer than expected. We were held up because the four of us refused to eat stewed bat, which made Shrek even more grumpy. We took longer to search for more apple trees.
The slope got steeper and steeper. I eventually started crawling up the rocks.
"OW! Whoa, falling, falling!" My feet slid down a few feet and I fell backwards, creating the "domino effect", with Mike behind me and so forth.
"Geroff me! Geroff me!" someone's muffled voice yelled.
"Sorry, sorry," Mike clambered up a boulder and let Sara and Mell out from the bottom of the "landslide."
Casting dirty looks at him, Sara and Mell wiped themselves off and hurried up after Shrek. I shrugged and followed.
At long last, we reached the top.
"Aw, jeez," I swallowed with difficulty. Over the brim was a little path down to a not-so-sturdy-looking bridge over a lake of lava. On the other side stood a huge black castle that looked as if it needed a good paint job and a relocation notice. It stood on an island with lava floating about it on all sides. The bridge was the only way to get across.
"Aw, jeez," I repeated. Shrek grinned.
"Sure it's big enough, but look at the location!" he laughed, for what seemed like the first time since we arrived. We gave him confused looks and he shut up, rolling his eyes.
"Well, come on," Shrek climbed over and started down the path. The donkey seemed a little hesitant, as did I.
"Uh, Shrek? Remember when you said that ogres have layers?"
"Yeah." Shrek was still walking.
"Well, got a little surprise for ya, donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves."
"But donkeys don't have sleeves."
"You know what I mean."
I looked at my friends and slowly stepped down the path, trying not to look at what was in front of us.
"You don't mean you're afraid?" Shrek continued.
"Oh, no, I'm just dancing now!" Mike cut in sarcastically.
"I'm just a little uncomfortable about going over a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!" Donkey agreed.
"Come on, just don't look down."
"I'll keep that in mind," I muttered.
"Me too." Mell leaned over, staring down as a hot bubble burst in the fires below.
Donkey went first, muttering to himself. Then Shrek went, muttering to himself too, complaining. Then I went and Sara and Mell and Mike went behind. I held onto the rope railings until I thought my hands would surely peel away from rope burn. I stepped every five seconds, careful to keep my eyes straight on the castle door that seemed a million miles away.
"Oh, God, oh God, oh God," I could hear Sara muttering over my shoulder. Mell wasn't saying anything. I couldn't tell what Mike was doing.
"SHREK! I'm lookin' down!" the donkey yelled in front.
I whimpered, gripping the railings even harder.
"Oh, for the love of Pete!" Shrek picked up Donkey and stood back up rather hard. The bridge bounced.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! Don't do that!" I screamed. Shrek looked over his shoulder, amused.
"What? This?" he jumped, making the bridge sway.
"Yes, that!"
"Do it. Okay." Shrek laughed and shook the bridge again.
"STOP IT!" I screamed and Sara and Mell joined this time and I thought I heard Mike screaming too.
"Okay, okay, sheesh," Shrek walked on.
Getting a hold of myself, I stepped shakily onward, squeezing my eyes shut.
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die," I muttered until my hands could no longer go any farther on the railing. My eyes slowly opened and I was on the other side. I exhaled a huge sigh of relief, breathing with difficulty.
"MOVE PLEASE!" my friends shouted from behind. I jumped and walked forwards up a little hill.
We entered the cavernous entrance hallway. It looked a little like Hogwarts had, but gloomier and lifeless. The black poles that reached to the ceiling were half burnt off. Remnants of knights armor lay about the floor and bones peeked out of them. I shrank away from a skull, looming out from a helmet in the corner.
"Ok, now to find the princess," Shrek looked around, "Donkey go find the stairs."
"Why?"
"The princess will be up the stairs in the tallest room in the tallest tower."
"What makes you think she'll be there?"
"I read it in a book once." Shrek kept looking around.
"Oh, can I go with him?" Sara pleaded.
"God, I don't care!" Shrek waved an arm.
"Oh, yay!" Sara grinned, "Come on Donkey! We'll find those stairs! We'll whip der butt too!"
Donkey leaped with excitement and followed at Sara's heels down a hallway.
"Come on, the lot of you!" Shrek beckoned Mell, Mike and me on.
We walked a little ways down another hallway. It was colder down this way it seemed to get quieter. To ease the stillness, I nudged Mell and we started humming "Uptown Girl."
"Not again," Mike hissed behind us.
Still humming, I gave him a dirty look and marched faster.
"Hey, there's the tower." Shrek pointed to a tall black tower in the distance outside a hole in the wall.
"Now where's the--?
"DRAGON!!!" I heard Sara's scream from behind. I whipped around long enough to see Sara and the donkey whiz past. I watched them for a spilt second, dumbstruck. Then came to my senses and ran faster than I've ever ran before.
For little legs, Shrek could run really fast, he had to be faster than Rivers. I fell behind Mike, not being able to run as quickly and he stopped, grabbed my arm and dragged my forward.
"Ow, ow, ow!" I yelped. He sighed and slung me over his shoulders. I watched fearfully behind us as we made our way through the twisting hallways. All of a sudden, I saw a burst of flames around the corner we had just turned and I panicked.
"Dragon, dragon, dragon!" I wailed, punching his shoulder.
"Stop it, you idiot!" he yelled back and tripped over some loose armor. I went flying onto my back in front of him.
"Look who's the idiot now?" I shouted angrily at him. I picked myself up and started in the direction Sara and Mell were supposedly going.
"Wait, wait, wait! I'm stuck!" Mike called behind me. I turned just in time to see a huge creature take the back of his shirt in its teeth and carry him off. I whimpered again and ran, calling my friends' names.
"We're over here!" someone called from a corner. It was Sara. She was beckoning to me. My eyes filled with tears.
"The-they-I mean it-got Mike!" I panted. Sara stood up, looked at me and waved me towards the dragon, beginning to run.
"What the heck are you doing?"
"Tis a queeeeessssstttt!" she yelled, turning a corner. I followed her. Donkey was suddenly at my heels.
"Shrek's up in the tower!" he yelled up at me. We hurried back down the hallway and into another cavernous hall where the dragon was sitting in a big pile of gold coins with Mike wrapped tightly in its tail. I almost laughed. Sara was no where in sight. The dragon stared angrily at Mike, who seemed to be having a nervous breakdown.
"I-I.um-you have a tight grip, don't you?" he struggled.
"Don't worry, Mike, we're coming!"
Two ropes swung downward from a balcony and Mell and Sara, clothed in armor and swords, wrapped their ropes around the dragon. The creature roared with frustration. Sara and Mell swung around and around until they let go and landed in somersaults next to me. Mell stood up shakily and dizzily walked towards me.
"N-nothing to it." She grinned.
"I'm the one in the middle, Mell." I giggled.
"Wow. That was like the Paratrooper, except better."
I raised my eyebrows at Sara. She cowered.
"I'm soooooooorryyyyyy."
"Come on. The dragon is still here."
The dragon was clawing at the ropes tied around its waist and neck. Mike was released in its efforts to free itself. Donkey came between my legs.
"Whew. That was a close one. Another minute and your friend would've been toast. Literally."
Mike was laying facedown on the ground. We ran to him and knelt beside him, flipping him over. He slowly opened his eyes. I looked him over.
"You look ok to me. Can you get up?"
He gave me a shocked look.
"NO."
"Wimp. Try."
He pulled himself to a sitting position. All of a sudden, something wrapped around my waist and I was yanked upwards violently. I looked up and saw the dragon's face in mine.
"Don't eat me. I-I'm just a little fourteen-year-old girl. You don't like me, really you don't. It." I remembered what the donkey did. ".it would ruin that lovely smile of yours."
The dragon looked menacing at me for a minute and I squeezed my eyes shut, ready for the blow. But it didn't come. I allowed my eyes to open and the dragon was somehow smiling at me.
"Hehe." I waved with my free hand, smiling weakly. My friends were waiting on the ground with bated breath.
Slowly, the dragon let me down on the ground and patted me on the head. I exhaled, relieved. The monster then looked at Sara and Mell, seeming to ask them if there were any more offenders. They smiled nonchalantly.
But there were more takers. All of a sudden, Shrek came through the door with a girl behind him.
"Run!" he yelled and we followed together through the door and down the hallway to the entrance hall. The girl was running in front of us. Shrek then did that trick with the chain and wound the dragon around the poles of the entrance hall, making it caught. It started getting angry again and blowing flames.
We ran out the front door with the dragon almost at our heels. We were running over the bridge.halfway.three-quarters.CRACK! The other end of the bridge snapped from the dragon's fire and we went tumbling towards the lava.
Grabbing onto Mike's hand underneath me and holding onto a part of the bridge, I screamed as loud as I could. The bridge fell to the wall of rock on the opposite side of the castle, banging against it. When it slowed down, I climbed up, letting Mike grab hold of the bridge.
I reached the top, gasping and crawled up the path a little ways. Mike collapsed on a patch of grass. Sara and Mell fell beside me, panting.
"See?" Sara gasped, "'Twas a quest."