It's been 6 years since I updated this, so time for an update, right? I have no clue where I was going with this before but I have an idea of where I would like to now. My writing still is different now and I'd like to say improved. I'll most likely edit the previous chapters to match my writing style later on.

Tell me what you'd like to see happen so I don't take another six years. Thanks!

Iza

Explaining to Damon how I had been spending time with Jasper and his new family had been hard. Not as hard as loving two people at the same time was, but it was still hard having to watch his facial expressions and not knowing what he truly thought. I was honest when he had asked me if I had known where he was all this time - I didn't. I had hoped he was at the Salvatore Boarding House because I couldn't imagine him being anywhere else.

I hadn't kept track of Jasper and Damon throughout the last one hundred and forty-five years. I had considered everything Emily had said about seeing them a load of shit until I had seen Jasper. Jasper looked almost exactly like he had when I last saw him except for the different eye color and pained look on his face. It had taken me a moment to realize when I had seen him that the pained look wasn't because he knew who I was - in fact, he had no clue who I was. That bothered me tremendously, so I had to stick around and find out why he didn't remember me.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Damon asking me if I had stuck around so long because I still loved Jasper and that made me uncomfortable. Stefan seemed to take that as his cue to leave since I noticed him quietly leave the room. I was just glad both of them had taken the explanation so well even if it had been with some disbelief - lucky me to live in the age of a phone and to be able to show them.

I rolled my eyes a little before looking at Damon, trying to figure out a good response "I'm not having this conversation with you." There is just no way I could explain to him how complex and confusing love was for me especially when I felt like I loved two different people. It's hard to say who you love the most because when you love two different people, it's for different reasons. I just didn't see how you could compare the complexity and intenseness of love anyways.

Damon got up, rolling his own eyes with a clear attitude on his face, and poured himself another drink. I closed my eyes and thought about how it had always been for me. What made loving these two men at the same time confusing was I didn't feel the love unless I was interacting with or thinking of them. And since so long had passed since interacting with them the love was a faded kind of love, like a fondness in my mind. I had always been that way with everyone - unsure if I truly loved anyone because of how I needed to be interacting and thinking of them to do so. It took me a long time to understand that if you feel a bad emotion for someone, it doesn't mean you don't love them.

I open my eyes to Damon watching me, and I knew I needed to express something to comfort him or fix the situation. "I don't know if I do," I said softly about to admit a part of me that I had like a deep sin. "I need to interact with and think about someone to truly feel the love. If I haven't had recent experiences with them, it can make it hard to feel it."

I cleared my throat before he could say anything and got up and took his drink from and downed it. "And it's not like I had any real experiences with Jasper where I wasn't pretending to be some boring human girl."

He peered at me as if he was trying to figure out if I was lying or not. I could tell the time we have been apart hadn't been completely kind to him, and I could relate. I knew I needed to be careful with him so whatever past was haunting him didn't ruin whatever trust or relationship that we could have in the future.

"Let's go have some real experiences then." I watched as a smirk crept up on his face. When he put his hand out for me to take I placed mine in his and let him lead us to these real experiences he had in mind.

Edward

I felt bad for Alice, I really did, but I also couldn't help but be a little frustrated with her. If she had hidden the images, she drew of her premonition we wouldn't be focusing on Jasper. As selfish as that sounds I want to figure out this situation with Bella, and this seems like a detour. I pause as I listen to Alice's pondering over how Jasper and Bella are connected and I reconsider my own previous thoughts.

Maybe if we dig more into Jasper's past, we can figure out what is going on with Bella since they are connected. I hate myself for being so selfish but Bella was the most important thing to me, and I don't want that taken from me. I need to at least talk to her or learn more. It was that moment that I decided I needed to push Alice to see something, anything.

"Alice, we need to do something to find one of them. Maybe if we find some more about Jasper's past, we can figure out what's going on." And also find Bella but I didn't say that out loud. "Where did Jasper say he was from originally before he moved around?"

I knew it before she said it out loud, "Mystic Falls. But you know what Carlisle said. He said to not go after him."

I shrugged as I stood up. "And we're not; we're just going where he is from to try to learn more about this mess to help him." That was all it took to convince Alice for us to go to the small town. I hoped that when we got there we'd find Bella and it'd be a bonus if when we got there, we found Jasper too.

Iza

Damon's idea of a real-life experience between the two of us had been going to the 'Mystic Grill' and I was impressed that he hadn't immediately tried to just get in my pants as a way of reconnecting.

"So Mr. Salvatore," I pursed my lips and cocked my head to the side. "What caused you to bring me to this charming little eatery." I said as my eyes scanned the place.

"Well, I don't know when the last time you have been to Mystic Falls. So I figured the best thing to do was to catch up with booze and food." The way he said food had me understanding that he meant both people and actual food. Perfect.

We slipped into a booth, and soon a waiter appeared and took our orders. Once our waiter walked away, Damon immediately started talking. "When was the last time you were in Mystic Falls."

"The day I left all those years ago." I said honestly as I continued to look around.

"Why?" I could tell he was shocked by this.

"I took Katherine's threat very seriously. Living is very important to me." I spotted the waiter coming back with our drinks.

"And you don't take it seriously anymore?" He asked this as the waiter reappeared. I waited until he set down our drinks - and asked him to bring over a bottle of wine when he brought our food - and he was gone until I replied.

"I'm not afraid of Katherine anymore. I've met the people she's afraid of and made it a point to get in their good graces. If she tries to bother me after all these years, I'll make a simple phone call to handle that." I had met the Mikaelsons in the seventies and when I discovered Klaus and I had a mutual hatred for Katherine it blossomed a friendship. We established that if I ever found out information on Katherine that he'd be the first to know.

"And who is she afraid of?" Damon asked curiously.

"Not important." I huffed before leaning back, drinking my drink. "Enough about Katherine."

"Alright, just one more thing. You may see a girl that looks exactly like Katherine but is not her. Her name is Elena Gilbert, and she is one hundred percent human. Stefan is seeing her. I think. I don't pay attention."

I squinted and waited for him to say just kidding, and when he didn't, I spoke. "What is wrong with your brother?." I shook my head. "That is weird on multiple levels but whatever. Thank you for letting me know. That would have been awkward."

"Anything for a lady." He teased before sipping his own drink. We started to talk about different things that had happened in our life. When our food came, we kept talking but kept it light. As I popped a curly fry into my mouth, I decided to tell him about how I had almost got hit by a car when pretending to be human.

"So, when I was in Forks trying to learn about Jasper and his faux family some guy almost hit me with his car in the school parking lot. It was so dramatic, and honestly, I wasn't sure what to do. Push the car? Speed away and reveal myself? Or get hit and magically be okay?"

As he nodded along, I continued. "But I didn't have to make that choice because Edward - the virgin vampire I was telling you about sped over and pushed the car away and then just walked away." I laughed at the dramatic situation. "It had honestly been the weirdest thing, and I took it as my chance to get to know what the hell was wrong with Jasper through Edward."

"Yeah, and what made you stay so long after getting to know them and figuring out what was wrong?" Damon asked peering at me before drinking his drink. Good question, Salvatore, way to be deep.

"I had got so entangled in this make believe life it felt like there wasn't a way out. There were so many almost enjoyable parts of the pretend life of Bella despite it being so boring. It was nice having a pretend dad after having to leave my own. It was nice seeing Jasper after not seeing anyone I knew as a human for so long. And it was nice having a family of people care about me even if they didn't know the real me."

I poured myself a glass of wine from the bottle the waiter had bought as he asked his next question. "Why didn't you just tell Jasper who you were?" I snorted while I took a sip of the wine.

"How selfish do you think I am? He was happy. I wasn't going to ruin his happiness over what I wanted. I hope he gets to live a long life with the Cullens and be truly happy with Alice." I said, and I meant it even if it made me a little sad.

As he opened his mouth, I stopped him by speaking first. "Nope, sorry, Mr. Salvatore. My turn to ask a question." I downed my drink before looking him directly in the eye. "How was my dad after I left? After I went missing?" That was the hardest part about leaving. He had just lost his wife and then not long after I disappeared. It's one of the biggest things I regret in life is leaving him.

"It almost destroyed him. Our father helped him through it, and Emily was there for him. It was easy to be there for him since you two had moved in temporarily while your house was renovated." Damon smiled slightly with a hint of sadness. "Emily made sure your dad was okay, and I'm convinced she used a spell on him to help him. I wish she would have done the same for me. It was hard for me, you being gone."

He cleared his throat before continuing. "I thought you were playing a game. Like when we younger and we played Cowboys and Indians. You were supposed to announce soon who you wanted to marry. I had thought you had disappeared for me to find you - a game of hide and seek to help you make the choice." I held my breath as I listened to his confession.

"I had gone to where you hid that bow and arrow - the real one you attacked Jasper with when we were kids. You weren't there, and I lost it. I don't know why I thought that. It sounds so stupid saying it now." He looked away as he drank some more of his drink.

I hated Katherine even more as I listened to the pain my forced disappearance had caused. "Were you okay? Like did it get easier?"

"Yeah, Katherine compelled me to stop caring when she got tired of me caring about you and not paying her attention. I didn't know she did that until after I turned. I thought she had done it because she cared."

I sneered as I finished off the bottle of wine. "Katherine doesn't care about anyone but herself." I watched as a couple left the grill and looked at Damon. "Still hungry?" I asked ready to lighten the mood, the emotional conversation too much for me.

He smirked as he got up. "I could eat." He said before, taking my hand and helping me up. We walked out the door hand and hand as we went to have a more enjoyable meal. I felt a twinge of happiness as we did so and felt more like myself then I had in months with Damon.