The fourth chapter. This one should be a doozy... and if it isn't, then I suppose you'll realize why it is later. :P
You're pathetic.
You're weak.
I hate you.
I wish you were gone.
I wish you'd leave me alone.
I wish I wasn't stuck with you.
I wish I wasn't you.
There was a rather straightforward procedure to forming a new club.
The president, the vice president, and the two other founding members need to sign a sheet of paper stating their intention to be a part of the club. Alongside that, all four needed their parent's permission as well.
Once I found this out, I knew I would have to meet with the girls the next day. Separately, of course-Yuri was still stuck in the tutoring program until the club was officially formed, and she wouldn't have time to meet the others until her parents weren't breathing down her neck anymore. Before I went to the classroom where the Literature Club would meet, I made my way to the library.
Yuri was stooped over a textbook, calmly reading aloud a passage to the girl she was tutoring.
"Sorry to interrupt," I say-Yuri jumps, and the girl she is tutoring lets out a sigh of relief. "but I need to talk to Yuri for a moment. Do you mind?"
"Not at all." says the girl that Yuri is tutoring.
Yuri looks up at me expectantly. "D-do you need something, Monika?" she asks.
"You need to give this to your parents to sign." I tell her, as I slip a piece of paper in front of her. "You need to sign it, too; get it back to me by tomorrow, and we should have our club the day after if everyone else follows through."
"Um… o-okay." Yuri says.
"Meet me in the entrance hall before school." I say. "That way, I can get the papers to the headmaster as soon as possible."
"A-alright." I see her gulp slightly. "I'll s-see you tomorrow, Monika…"
I leave without another word-Yuri's narrating voice follows me as she returns to tutoring. There is a little lilt to her voice that makes me want to smile and frown at the same time. I still remember my worries from when she agreed to join the club; actually, to be completely honest, they'd been lingering in the back of my mind.
Not that I was worried. Not in the slightest, because I was not going to lose to anyone, let alone a purple haired girl that could hardly form a coherent sentence. If she was even trying to fight me, that is. I still hadn't entirely dismissed the possibility that I was just being paranoid.
Next up was Natsuki and Sayori.
For obvious reasons, Natsuki chose to take refuge in the club's classroom. I couldn't fault her, I mean, it's probably a better place to hide out after school than trying all the classroom doors in the building and hoping one is unlocked.
Sayori was Sayori, and she was quick to pester Natsuki into allowing her to read some of her vaunted manga. When I step into the classroom, I see the two of them seated next to each other. Natsuki's lips quirk up slightly, and I see her legs kicking beneath the table. Sayori on the other hand looks almost irritated, furrowing her eyebrows and scrunching her nose.
"I'm surprised you can read this stuff!" Sayori quips. "It's kind of boring, don't you think? There's no conflict or anything that would normally grab my attention."
Natsuki scoffs. "That's the point." she says. "It's supposed to be fun to read and relate to, not some stupid shounen."
I close the door behind me, and both of them jump. I can't help but giggle. "Did you not notice me?" I say slyly, and there's a curl to my lips that would have made me cringe if I could see it.
"Maybe you shouldn't sneak in here like that." Natsuki says.
Sayori rolls her eyes, and pats Natsuki's shoulder affectionately; I see the girl recoil.
"You have the permission forms, right?" she asks.
I blink. "Yeah, I do." I say, and I take two and slide them in front of the girls. "How did you know I was bringing the permission forms…?"
"Call it an educated guess." Sayori says, with a strange giggle.
Natsuki frowns. "Who needs to sign this? And when do we need it signed?" she asks, and I can't help but notice how she avoids my gaze.
"You and your parents need to sign it, and I need it by tomorrow preferably." I say. "Maybe the day after tomorrow, if you really need the time."
"No, no, I'll have it by tomorrow." Natsuki murmurs. "Is that all we need to do before we can finally make the club?"
I give a hum of assent.
"Yay!" Sayori says. "So what book are we going to read first?"
"Um… I was thinking we could read something by one of the all time greats." I say. "The translated versions can't really compare to the originals, or so I've heard, but unless we can all start reading English by tomorrow I think we'll have to do with the Japanese version."
"What book are you talking about?" Sayori asks.
"The Great Gatsby." I say. "It's a… a fantastical book-I read it, and it felt like my eyes and soul were being soothed by the words that man wrote. It's just so amazing!"
Natsuki scoffs. "Isn't that book supposed to be like super boring?"
I stare at her. "You didn't just say that."
She rolls her eyes. "It's not my fault I can't get into a book from what, the 1800s?"
"It was published in 1925!" I hiss.
Sayori giggles. "You really like that book, don't you?" she says.
I pause. "Well, I mean… it's a really good novel." I say. "But what I really like is all the different things you can see, especially when you reread it. There's so many subtle things you wouldn't be able to notice unless you had prior knowledge of what was going to happen."
Natsuki groans. "So what if it's a good novel? Novels are usually boring anyway. Can't we read something a little more engaging? Like… Alice in Wonderland?"
Sayori frowns. "Come on, Natsuki." she says. "Can't you see just how excited Monika is to read the Great Gatsby?"
I blink. What does she mean I'm excited…? Then again, I was just squealing over it less than a minute ago.
Natsuki rubs her forehead. "Fine, fine. We can read the stupid Great Gatsby, but I get to choose what we read afterwards. Deal?"
"Sure." I say.
A brief pause.
"What are we going to do today?" Sayori says, only a second before the silence that had lingered would have grown uncomfortable.
"Umm… I guess we could write." I say. "All we need is a pen and a paper, right?"
"I guess." Natsuki says.
We find some paper stowed beneath a desk, and we take pencils from a cup on the teacher's desktop.
"Come on, let's push these together." Sayori says, and the screech of a desk being pushed across the floor reaches my ears. I grab another desk, Natsuki grabs a third, and we push them together so that there's only an empty triangle-shaped space in between them.
We sit down.
"What are we going to write?" Natsuki asks.
"Let's do something simple." I say. "Pick a trait about yourself, and write a sentence or a paragraph about it-but make sure it's at least kind of cryptic. Then, we can exchange papers and try to figure out what trait it is. How does that sound?"
"Sure, why not?" Sayori says. Natsuki grunts, and I take that as a yes.
We begin to write.
My sentence is simple.
'An unfinished task makes me feel uncomfortable. An undone blazer makes me twitch. My worst fear is an unorganized locker.'
I set my pencil down. A few seconds later, Natsuki stops. A few seconds after that, Sayori does as well.
We exchange papers. I give mine to Sayori, she gives hers to Natsuki, and I recieve Natsuki's paper.
I read the text on Natsuki's paper.
'My father bans me from reading manga, yet I do it anyway. If he knew that I was in a club, he'd get pretty mad. I started sneaking out of the house when I turned fourteen. What would you call me?'
We wait a minute.
"Daring," I say to Natsuki, and she gives me a hesitant grin.
"More or less." she says. "Sayori, I think you were going for… caring?"
She beams. "Yup!" Sayori chirps. "And Monika, were you going for, uh, being a perfectionist?"
"I was going for pedant." I tell her. "But, that's close enough I suppose."
"Dang it!" Sayori says.
"Here, take a look at Natsuki's paper." I hand Sayori the paper on my desk. She hands Natsuki mine, and Natsuki hands me Sayori's.
'I try to make my friends feel awesome. I always want to make sure they have the best in life; I always lend a hand if they need it, and I'll never leave them behind.'
"This one is obvious." I say to Sayori, and she pouts.
"That's not fair." Sayori insists. "I'm not usually trying to be 'cryptic'!"
Natsuki lets out a chuckle. "That's not really a secret, Sayori." she says.
Sayori blinks. "What do you mean?"
"You wear your heart on your sleeve." Natsuki murmurs. "I knew that from the moment I met you."
She bites her lip. "Yeah, mostly…" The last part comes out as a whisper, one that I'm sure she hadn't intended for us to hear.
"Let's not get off track." I say.
We spend the rest of 'club' time-really just us hanging out after school since the club isn't technically formed yet-doing that same exercise. It's simple and fun, but most of the traits Natsuki and Sayori write about are ones that were obvious from the beginning.
Of course, I don't let them get a glimpse of what I'm really like.
They make a general announcement before they lock the doors. The speakers blaring tone startles us; the prerecorded voice of our headmaster is booming, and even a deaf person wouldn't strain to hear him.
"Please wrap up whatever activities you have going on, and get ready to depart the school. We will be locking the doors in ten minutes."
We gather up the papers, many of which have become strewn around. There's no need to keep them, so Natsuki grabs our two stacks of paper, wads them up in one big ball, and tosses them expertly into the trash.
Once we're outside of the school, and into the cold, we prepare to part.
"I'll see you two tomorrow." I say. "Make sure to have the signed forms!"
"Of course." Natsuki says.
"Bye, Monika!" Sayori beams.
We go our separate ways.
That morning, I text the three of them to meet me in the school's lobby so I can get their permission papers.
Yuri and Natsuki are on time, and I'm a minute late. After two minutes of waiting, Sayori comes bounding through the school doors, her hair disheveled and her skirt and blazer looking crumpled. "I'm here!" she pants, coming to a stop in front of me. "You must be Yuri!"
"H-hi." Yuri says, turning her head and playing with a strand of her violet hair.
"Here's the permission slip, Monika!" Sayori says. She hands it to me, and Yuri hands me hers wordlessly.
"Here." Natsuki says, pushing the paper into my hand.
My gaze skims over Natsuki's paper. The signature is there, yes, and it looks good-but I've always been keener than most. I can see how it's a little too loopy for a male, and the handwriting a little too neat. I say nothing, knowing that the headmaster will do little more than glance over it once before accepting it.
"We can make introductions later…" I breath. "In our club's new classroom."
They all grin at me, even Yuri. "I gotta get to class!" Sayori says, and she bounces off.
"See ya." Natsuki says, and she flaunts off.
Yuri gives me a shy smile, and walks away.
I make for the headmaster's office.
He smiles at me. "Do you have all the papers, Monika?" he asks.
"I do."
I slide them in front of him.
He glances over them, glossing past all four signed papers with ease.
"Alright, looks like everything's in order." he says. "What will your club be called?"
I'd actually thought about this a bit.
Well, I'm a sucker for literary terms, and I think this one rather accurately describes what the purpose of this club is for. To get to him.
"Doki Doki Literature Club." I say.
He takes a pen, and writes it at the top of one of the papers. He adds his signature, and then stamps it.
"Congratulations." he says. "You're now the President of the Doki Doki Literature Club."
Something seems to shock me, and I gasp.
I can tell he's looking at me worriedly, but I don't care. I take a few steps back, nearly toppling over, my legs wobbling.
…
…
I breathe heavily
My heart races.
That shock, it had gone as quickly as it had come. I feel normal now, at least as normal as one can be given the circumstances..
Something lingers, though.
…
…
…
…
Have you ever felt like something was supposed to happen… but then it didn't?
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