Slowly Kaidan walked toward Flux. He needed a drink, something strong to numb the pain. As he shambled pass other patrons, he spotted Garrus sitting at the bar. Without a word, Kaidan sat next to him.
"Doran, I need a drink. Make it something strong." Kaidan slumped, his face buried in his hands. Shepard. He thought helplessly. Doran watched Kaidan and wondered what brought on the drastic change. It wasn't more than a few hours ago, that Kaidan was happy, content. Now he looked like the galaxy was going to end. The volus placed a glass before Kaidan, and filled it with a light green liquid. Leaning back, Kaidan looked at the drink. Hesitantly, he raised the glass to his lips and drank. The liquid burned his mouth and throat as he swallowed. The pain from the drink replaced the ache in his chest. Placing the glass on the bar, he motioned to Doran.
"Another." His voice ragged. Feeling pity for Kaidan, Doran quickly filled the glass. In one gulp, Kaidan emptied the glass then slid it toward Doran.
"That's heavy stuff. Do you want the bottle?" Doran set the bottle on the bar.
"That's enough." Garrus interrupted, his voice stern. Kaidan looked at him, his head hung low. Doran took the bottle away but left the empty glass.
"Why didn't you tell me?" A sigh escaped Garrus. "Wasn't mine to tell." Garrus sat down while Doran placed a drink in front of him. Kaidan buried his face in his hands as the drink began to warm his arms and legs, making his fingers and toes tingle.
"How long?" Kaidan's question was muffled but Garrus understood. Sipping his drink, Garrus thought about Shepard and Thane.
"Not long, a few months. It happened right after his recruitment. I knew she liked him and he her." Garrus played with his glass. Kaidan stared at him. "How did it happen?" Garrus snickered.
"How does anything like this happen? They talked, she helped him and he... He talked to me about her. He asked my intentions. I told him I didn't have any and they have been together ever since." Garrus took a long drink from his glass, emptying it. He placed the glass on the table and motioned for Doran to fill it.
"He asked you?" Kaidan scoffed as Garrus laughed quietly at him.
"Damnedest thing. Gave him my blessing." Garrus chuckled before continuing. "Going on missions with Thane and Shepard was like nothing I ever experienced, even in the military. She was his equal and he was hers. I never seen anything like it. He moved, she moved." Garrus shook his head as he glanced over at Kaidan. Meeting Garrus' eye, Kaidan snickered.
"Don't tell me you think they're made for each other." Garrus shrugged.
"What's he like?" Kaidan looked down, staring at his hands.
"Quiet, keeps to himself. Meditates and reads. He's done things, bad things. He's killed people but he's trying to atone for his actions before he dies. He's more like a monk than an assassin." Garrus looked around the bar then back at Kaidan. Kaidan breathed deeply and shook his head.
"Is he good to her?" Kaidan needed to know he made the right decision. He had to find a way to live.
"Very good. She's everything to him. He calls her 'Siha', angel. His angel." Garrus sighed as he studied Kaidan. "I know you don't like it but he loves her." Garrus set his glass on the bar and began to stand.
"What do you know?" Kaidan was losing grip on his emotions. He wanted to be angry at someone or something. He wanted someone to know how much he hurt. Garrus saw the war waging in Kaidan eyes and placed his hand on Kaidan's shoulder.
"He's my friend. Just like you. You did the right thing. She cares for you but she loves him." Kaidan snapped at Garrus. "How do you know if I did the right thing?" Garrus breathed deeply, his hand heavy on Kaidan's shoulder.
"Easy, she's with him. She's happy." Garrus patted Kaidan's shoulder. Suddenly, Garrus became very serious.
"You're not the only one who loves her." Kaidan was stunned at Garrus' confession. "Garrus, you..?" Garrus nodded then coughed and looked away. The moment was awkward. Kaidan turned to face Garrus realizing he wasn't the only one who lost Shepard. "Garrus, I'm sorry." Kaidan rose, not knowing what to do.
"Look, she's happy, that's all that matters. I have to go. Don't do anything stupid to make me shoot you. Take care of yourself." Garrus paid his tab and began to walk away.
"Garrus." Kaidan called. Garrus stopped and turned back to look at him.
"Thanks." Garrus nodded in response and walked away. Kaidan sat back on his stool and wondered at he and Garrus' situation. Unable to find any answers, Kaidan paid is tab then began making his way back to his apartment. Somehow he would have to find a way to live.