Title: I beg for just one reason to give you regret

Author: Thiscanbeinteresting

Pairing: Dean/Cas

Rating: T

Warnings: I'm not good at giving out warnings but they will drink in this chapter and it will be some heterosexual kissing (I'm so sorry) but it will be forced so a warning there too if you get upset over that.

Word Count: 1775

Disclaimer: Unfortunately Supernatural doesn't belong to me. I'm just playing around with the characters in it.

Summary: The party is here and Castiel feels immediately uncomfortable and out of place. Dean introduces him to a girl that he thinks can help him with his intimate problem.

Chapter 4

Dean still had his arm around him. It felt safe but he still got panicked when he saw the crowded room. The party had already started and it was drunken people everywhere. They got further into the room and the smell of alcohol and sweat hit him like a wall. Same with the loud music that was terrible. It was hot and he already felt that he had a hard time to breathe. He looked terrified around when he saw two guys from his class almost starting a fight. Luckily a bigger guy got between them.

"I don't like it here, Dean." Castiel whispered and looked up at Dean.

"Relax. The music sucks but we can live with that." Dean pulled him little closer and grinned at him. Castiel sighed and couldn't resist smiling when he felt the warmth from Dean. He started to feel a bit safer. At least he had him by his side. "Let's take a drink before we start the fun." Dean chuckled and dragged Castiel with him to a place where they served shots. Castiel recognized the guy that served from one of Dean's classes. When they came there Dean took his arm back from his shoulders and he felt naked without him around. He sighed lightly and watched Dean greet his friend with a fist bump. Before he knew it he got handed a shot glass from a smirking Dean.

"I don't know if I should take this." Castiel said a bit unsure. He knew he was sensitive and he wanted to have control over himself. If he lost his control he maybe would do something stupid.

"It will make you calm down." Dean sighed lightly and took his shot. Castiel looked down on his own before he took it. It burned even worse than the whiskey and it tasted horrible. He coughed and looked up at a laughing Dean. "It's not that bad, Cas."

"I'm not used to alcohol." Castiel said quietly when he recovered. It still tingled in his throat and made him warm.

"Then we get you used to it tonight." Dean chuckled and gave him a second shot as he took another one too. Castiel sighed and quickly drank it. It was as he said before not as worst after the second one but it still tasted horrible. He couldn't understand people that drank alcohol because it tasted good.

"I think I start to feel something." Castiel frowned confused when he started to feel a bit numb.

"Good." Dean grinned and laid an arm around Castiel again. "I think you are ready for a friend of mine then. Just push her away if she's on you too much." He chuckled lightly and leaded him to two girls. Castiel swallowed hard and looked up at Dean. Dean hugged them both and smiled big. "This is Delilah. Delilah, this is Cas." Castiel looked at Deliah and tried to breathe through the thick air of cigarette and cheap perfume scent that surrounded her. He scanned her quickly up and down, trying to figure out who he had to deal with. Delilah had long hair that was curly in the end of it. It was big and she had probably put some time on it. She really seemed to care about her appearance. Big, wide blue eyes stared curiously at him and they looked even bluer with the big amount of make-up she had. Even with the make-up he could see small freckles on her face. She had more than Dean. Castiel's gaze trailed down and saw that she wore a small, red tank top that showed more than hide. Even if he wasn't interested at all it definitely dragged attention. Something she had thought about. He glanced over at Dean and he winked at him and grinned. Castiel frowned a bit and looked and saw that she wore a black, short skirt. When he looked up again he saw that she was closer than he expected.

"So this is the guy you talked about?" Delilah smirked big and he swallowed hard when she grabbed his tie and ran her finger tip over his chest. She leaned forward against his ear and he looked at Dean with wide eyes. He was scared. Having her near him wasn't something he liked. He didn't even know her. "Shy virgins are the best to fuck." She whispered and giggled. Castiel didn't know what to do and backed off terrified from her while she was laughing.

"Did you tell her?" Castiel mouthed to Dean with a deep furrow between his eyebrows. Before Dean had a chance to answer Delilah grabbed Castiel's tie and dragged him closer again.

"I can sense things like that." She smirked and Castiel looked at Dean with fear in his eyes. His heart rushed and he felt the panic ripping in his guts. Dean smiled at Delilah and looked over at the other girl that just stood and watched the show with raised eyebrows and crossed arms.

"Cas this is Annie. She's a bit calmer then Delilah here." Dean chuckled and Delilah grinned and backed off from Castiel's personal space. Castiel immediately relaxed and didn't feel so claustrophobic. Dean had finally saved him from her. He reached out his hand and smiled at Annie.

"Nice to meet you." He met a pair of soft, hazel brown eyes and a little, warm smile.

"Nice to meet you too, Cas. Sorry for my friend here. She's not always the one that takes it easy with people." Castiel could now hear that she wasn't from here. She had a British accent. Her face had soft features and dark, straight hair hung down on the side of it. She didn't wear any make-up and she had a loose AC/DC shirt and a pair of jeans. Castiel thought she was much prettier than Delilah even if people maybe thought she was more attractive.

"I'm fine really." Castiel sighed lightly and looked between the two girls. He swallowed nervously and looked down in the ground but quickly got forced from Delilah to look up again when she put her finger under his chin.

"Oh darling. Don't be so shy." She grinned and grabbed his tie again. Castiel looked desperately back at Dean with his wide eyes when she dragged him against a couch. Dean sighed and smiled at him. It felt like he was trying to reassure him that everything would be fine. Castiel was unsure of that and swallowed hard. With that he felt her hand on his cheek and she moved over so she straddled his lap. She grinned at him and leaned over and put her lips over his ear. Castiel could feel the scent of alcohol from her and her giggles tickled in his ear and made him stiff. He didn't want this, not at all. It all felt so wrong.

"Gonna take care of you, sweetie." Delilah whispered and he felt her teeth nipping in his earlobe. His heart rushed and not from the right reasons. Sweetie had only one person called him and he didn't want to get reminded of him.

"My name is Castiel." Castiel said quietly, almost whispering. He felt like something crawled under his skin and he couldn't scratch it away. Delilah really got under his skin and he wanted her away but he was too paralyzed to do something. When he thought it couldn't get worse he saw her blue eyes looking drunk at him and her fingers were twirled into his hair. Castiel looked at her with wide eyes and he clenched his fists hard so he felt his nails digging in his skin.

"Okay, Castiel." Delilah smirked and when she moved herself even closer to him he felt her breath stink from whiskey and cigarettes. Quickly she pressed her lips against Castiel's. The memories from the past hit him hard. She tasted just like him and it was forced. Nothing made him want this. Every guy in here probably wanted to have sex with her or already had but he didn't want to. He shut his eyes tight and tried to think it away but it didn't work. Tears burned behind his eyelids. Castiel felt the nausea again and his head got dizzy when his heart rushed even faster. Finally he managed to think clearly. He got back his ability to move and pushed her hard back so she fell on the ground. She looked shocked back up at him. This was probably the first time that ever happened to her.

"Stop touching me!" Castiel hissed between his teeth and felt every person stare at them. He couldn't be here anymore. His heart was about to explode from pumping this fast and he felt a tear rolling down his cheek. Even if he saw Dean looking desperately at him to get there and help him he just ran out. It was raining but he didn't care. His father had destroyed him and he had let him do it. He had let himself get destroyed from him and he didn't see a way to build himself up. His stomach ached from the nausea, panic and the tears streaming down together with the rain. Castiel didn't live. He had stopped living and the memories from the past would hunt him forever. Not even hooking up with a random girl was something he could do without thinking about him. Castiel stopped when he felt that his body couldn't bearhim anymore. He hadn't run long but it was enough for him and he lied down on the ground and felt the wet grass tickle on his cheek. He took a deep breath and felt more tears burning in his eyes. His body ached worse than ever before from all the stress he felt. He curled up himself and wanted to disappear. The life he had was a waste of space. No one cared about him. Not even his own family, especially not his own family. He wanted to die. Leaving this earth behind and let his body rotten together with his memories. The rain made him cold and it helped him. He could feel something else than the pain inside of him.

"What the fuck have I done wrong?" Castiel screamed on the top of his lungs and looked up in the sky and felt the rain mix together with his tears. Normally he didn't curse but right now he didn't feel normal, he never really did. He continued to scream until he became hoarse. With that he fell down on the ground again all wet from the rain and slowly drifted away from the exhaustion.

Okay I'm sorry again for this chapter being a bit late. It didn't came out the way I wanted it to but it's better now I guess. Still not as I pictured in my head but it never gets that way right. I hope you guys enjoyed and this time I got some own characters yay. Thanks for the wonderful reviews. They have been my fuel right now. My school starts so can be a bit tough to get the chapters out but will try to do everything as fast as I can.