Oh my God guys, I'm so sorry I haven't updated sooner. I could give you ,amy reasons as to why I haven't updated in a while, but let's just say this chapter is a lot longer than what it was intended to be.
A lot has happened over the past few months; it's crazy. I've been super busy with school and what not, and I spent my Easter break in Barcelona and Paris (it's beautiful there, by the way).
Anyway, Glee hasn't been all that interesting. The shooting episode made me nauseous; school shooting always make me sick. It was a god episode, but it was pretty intense for me. After that, the episodes haven't been all that good in my opinion. I hear next week's episode is supposed to be really good though, so I'm looking forward to that:)
Sorry for any spelling errors; I re-read the whole thing, but some errors might have slipped by me.
Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters in Glee, but Skylar, Victoria, Devin, and Linda belong to me.
The temperature dropped steadily as the sun went down. The street lights flickered on and illuminated the darkening streets. I continued down the isolated road, the cold starting to finally set in as I started shivering. I wrapped my jacket tighter around my body and let out a shaky breath.
Damn the cold. I thought angrily to myself. Why did it have to be so goddamn cold around here? It's never pleasant when you have to walk 10 miles home.
The only sound I heard was the soft thumping of my slide-ons and the faint breeze rustling through the trees. Cars would occasionally speed by, disturbing the still, cold air. I shivered violently every time a car would drive by. I couldn't help but wonder if the drivers actually noticed me walking along the side of the road. I always stayed on the grass, but there was always that one driver who would swerve as if he actually took notice of me. That's when I would dive into the underbrush until the car had fully passed. As I would watch it swerving off, I would always have that fear in the pit of my stomach that that was my father driving by.
My father. Every time I said that name I shuddered and my heart started pounding violently in my chest. You would think my father protects me and cares for me when I need him most, right? You would think he would support everything I do and always be there for me.
But he's not.
Yes, he's still alive, but he's not doing too well. In fact, he's the complete opposite. He was violent, withdrawn, upset, hurt, confused...he was everything a father shouldn't be.
But he wasn't always like that.
In fact, I actually had a normal family. I had a loving mother and father, I lived in a great neighborhood, went to a good school...I had it all. I lived a happy life, and everything was right in the world. I remember my family's history so very clearly...
When Victoria Ynez Rodriguez was born on November 17, 1976, she had no idea how crazy her life already was. The last of eight children, she grew up with only four of them, as the first four born had moved out and either became strippers, prostitutes, or drug dealers. It was as if she was destined to live in a shack in the middle of nowhere, but she decided to turn her life around and become the first person in her family to receive an education higher than the fifth grade.
When she turned four, she began to take care of her mother, 26 year old Maya Rodriguez, a single mother who was a former prostitute (each of Victoria's siblings had a different father). She helped her find a job at the local McDonalds cleaning the kitchen after closing. It was very little pay, but it was enough to keep the family going. She began to attend Fern Forest Preparatory School, which went from pre-k to grade 12, at age four. Because her mother refused to drive her, as she believed that education was a waste of time, she walked there, as it was only a few blocks from her suburbain Cincinnati neighborhood. She struggled at first, but she adjusted pretty quickly and got good grades. Despite her mother's ranting on how school was a waste of time, she pushed herself forward and pretty soon, she had graduated from the fifth grade. She was the smartest one in her family.
When she was in the seventh grade, she discovered her love for science. She was constantly volunteering to assist the teacher in setting up the experiment, and she enjoyed testing different things and writing down the results. She threw all her effort into science, as she had outstanding grades in all her other classes. She studied long and hard and even signed up for summer classes at the University of Cincinnati. She felt a strong connection with science that made her feel like she would succeed in life, unlike the rest of her family.
When she graduated from the eighth grade as valedictorian, she was surprised to see her mother and five of her siblings sitting in the pews. After the ceremony, her mother and siblings hugged her tight.
"I'm so proud of you Vicky." Her mother sobbed.
"I know I haven't been the best mother and I know I haven't been there for you, but this is the greatest achievement this family has ever seen, and you pushed through and finished strong. I'm so proud to have you as my daughter."
At that moment, Victoria finally felt loved and accepted. She realized that she wasn't going to become a prostitute or a druggie, but she was going to become successful.
She remained at Fern Forest for high school, and pretty soon, it was just her, her mother, and another sister who decided to stay and help take care of the house when Victoria and her mother were out. But about four months into her freshman year, a gang raided her house while her mother and three siblings were at home. It took a major toll on her home life: they raped her three sisters and shot everyone in the room except her brother, who joined the gang out of temptation. The two sisters were killed, but her mother survived with serious injuries. When Victoria arrived home from school, she saw her mother being lifted into an ambulance, motionless and pale. She was told that two of her sisters were killed and her mother might not make it to see the end of the week. She was then placed with a foster family who also had two kids the same age as Victoria, but she was so upset about the death of her sisters, she ran away multiple times to the cemetery where her sisters were buried and she cried to her heart's content.
She visited her mother in the hospital often, and she was making very little progress. The bullets struck close to her heart and her brain, and that had life-threatening results. Her lungs were punctured and couldn't be fixed, her brain was bleeding and they couldn't do much other than drain the blood from her brain every 36 hours. Other than that, she had some broken bones and bruises. It tore Victoria's heart apart to see her struggling like this, especially when her mother now saw her as the greatest achievement to happen in her family. But she returned every weekend after she finished her homework and stayed until visiting hours were over. It made her mother feel reassured and happy, and that made Victoria feel better about herself.
One night in March, about three months after the accident, she visited her mom like she always did, but this time, her mother told her to pay attention and listen.
"My time is coming." She whispered hoarsely.
"I want to be sure that you will remain in school, even though I won't be there to help you on your journey. You've gotten this far without my help, and you can certainly go further when I'm not here."
Victoria started to cry.
"But mama...what if I DON'T make it?"
Her mother smiled and strained to sit up and kiss her on the cheek.
"You will. I believe in you Victoria, never forget that. I'll always watch out for you and I'll always be with you, even when you start to doubt yourself. Be strong, I'm so proud of you..."
Her grip lightened on Victoria's hand and she rested her head back on the pillow, eyes closed. She was still breathing, which reassured Victoria, but she was still very nervous and scared. She went to try and wake her mom but was shooed off by the doctors.
"She needs her rest." The doctor told her hastily.
Her foster mother picked her up in the front lobby and told her that everything was going to be okay, but she was still worried for her mother and hoped that she would be able to see her finish her freshman year.
About one week later, on a rainy afternoon on the last day of March, her mother passed away. Her injuries were too critical. Her last words to the doctor were "I finally feel at peace."
Victoria was devastated. Despite her mother's reassuring words to her about a week earlier, she wasn't sure how she would finish up the year without her mother there to support her.
But she did, despite the fact that her grades weren't as high as she wanted them to be. She spent her summer spending time with her foster family and even went on vacation to Disney World. She had a great time, and eventually came to realize that her mother was with her mentally, but not physically.
For the first time in months, she felt genuinely happy.
Once she started her sophomore year, she started to doubt herself again. Although she loved her foster family, none of them could replace her mother, no matter how hard they tried.
As she sat in her first period class on the first day, she looked around the room and realized that she knew no one. All her friends were in other classes. She started to panic; she didn't know anyone in any of her classes. She had no idea how she was going to make it through the year again...
That's when she saw Devin Winston.
He was already staring at her with a look of awe all over his face. Victoria stared back at his icy blue eyes with just as much awe. She thought he was the most beautiful person she'd ever seen.
The bell rang, and she was forced to turn around and face the front of the room, but she couldn't get her mind off the beautiful boy sitting just three seats across from her.
The day went by slowly for Victoria; she wanted to know more about the boy who she'd never seen before. He was probably a transfer student, she thought to herself. Finally, it was lunch time. She saw the boy sitting by himself at lunch, and she smiled as she moved towards the table. She sat down next to him and blushed slightly when he stopped chewing his lunch and stared at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Hi." She croaked. She had never been this nervous before, and she hoped she didn't make a fool of herself.
"I'm Victoria. I noticed you...staring at me this morning."
He remained silent, his eyes as wide as saucers. She continued.
"I've never seen you around here before; are you new here?"
He didn't reply.
"Where did you go to school before Fern Forest?"
He still remained silent. That's when Victoria started to panic.
"Umm...did I...scare you?"
He shook his head slightly.
"Do you think I'm...weird?"
He shook his head again, this time a little longer than before.
"Then...what's wrong?"
He shook his head, but this time he smiled a little bit.
"It's just...I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you."
And that's when they became best friends.
They talked during lunch and exchanged information with each other. Victoria explained her life to him in almost explicit detail and he listened without interruption. When she finished, he offered his condolences and began to tell her about his life.
Devin Scott Winston was born on May 23, 1975 in the fancier part of the Cincinnati area. His mother was a successful nurse with experience in public speaking and his father was a renowned lawyer. He was rich. Very rich. He was so rich he could afford to buy the whole school and still have a shitload of money left over. He transferred to Fern Forest because everyone at his old school would bully him for being a rich white kid. Fern Forest not only sheltered him from his classmates' taunts but enabled him to study economics, which wasn't offered as his old school. He was planning on becoming a lawyer.
And for the remainder of the year, the two of them hung out every day of the week and even spent time together outside of school. Victoria finally felt happy that she had a true friend who she could look up to. Whenever she felt lonely, she had Devin to turn to, and he always listened to her problems without judgment or criticism. He knew what it was like to be the odd one out when it came to having friends.
Toward the end of the school year, the two of them were sitting in the school's courtyard, studying for finals. Almost suddenly, Devin slammed his book closed and turned to her.
"Vic, I can't take it anymore. I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world and you're incredibly smart and talented and I don't wanna be with anyone else-"
"Are you...proposing to me?" She asked, closing her books lightly.
"Because we're a little bit...young, don't you think?"
"N-no! I'm not proposing to you." Devin stammered.
"I'm asking if...you wanna...you know...go steady with me?"
She stared at him for a while, her mind taking forever to register what he had just said.
Devin cringed.
"You just wanna remain friends, don't you?"
"No..." Victoria whispered loudly.
"I've liked you ever since the first day of school, but I've been too afraid to ask you if you loved me. I didn't want to scare you off..."
Devin blinked a couple of times.
"So...is that a yes?"
She smiled.
"It's a yes."
And that was the start of their relationship.
All throughout high school, they remained faithful to each other. They went on dates and had study sessions, they met up at each other's houses and played basketball and soccer, they met up at the local cafe and shared a banana chocolate chip milkshake, they were the perfect couple. They dared not think about sex; Devin's parents were strictly religious and while they were glad that he had a girlfriend, they didn't want him to have pre-marital sex with her. Victoria's foster family was happy that she found someone she loved with all her heart and didn't take out her frustrations on everyone around her.
They finished their sophomore and junior years with their relationship getting stronger and stronger. They saw each other almost every day and couldn't stand to be too far apart from each other. They spent their summers together and made sure that they had the same classes for senior year.
When senior year rolled around, they had already completed all the required classes in order for them to graduate, so they took electives and AP classes to bump up their GPA. They breezed through the classes and passed them with flying colors.
Of course, they participated in every extracurricular activity they could sign up for: field trips, dances, volunteer work, anything they could do together.
They went to every dance and stayed by each other's sides. A week before the senior prom, Devin asked Vic out by replacing the ad that had been on the giant billboard in front of the school with a picture of her and the words "Senior Prom?" underneath. Shocked and amazed, she immediately said yes.
The prom was a success, and in just months, they were standing with their class at graduation as the valedictorian and salutatorian of the class of 1994. As Victoria walked onto the stage to receive her diploma, the looked up at the ceiling and smiled.
This one's for you, mom. She thought happily.
As she started to walk off the stage, the school's principal requested that she stay on the stage for an important announcement. He then called up Devin to the stage, and told Vic that he had some important news to tell her. Devin then went down on one knee and pulled out a diamond ring.
"Victoria Rodriguez, when I first lay my eyes on you three years ago, I instantly fell in love with you. I would spend every day dreaming about our future and how we would be the perfect couple, always having each other to support one another. As we graduate high school and move on to college, I want to know that you're there for me, as I'll always be there for you. So Victoria Rodriguez, will you marry me?"
Victoria was absolutely shocked. She had never seen this proposal coming and was at a loss of words. She only covered her mouth with her hands as tears formed in her eyes. Slowly, her brain registered what was going on.
Say yes. She told her brain.
But she couldn't say the words; she was in too big of a shock; but she slowly and lightly nodded her head.
Devin's eyes grew wide.
"Yes? Is it a yes?"
She nodded again, this time longer than before.
"Yes." She choked out, tears now pouring down her face.
"Yes, I'll marry you Devin!"
Devin sprang up and enveloped her in a tight hug and kissed her tenderly. The auditorium burst into applause as Devin slipped the ring onto Vic's ring finger with shaky hands. They then walked off the stage hand in hand with Vic flashing her ring to the crowd.
And their life together began.
They spent the summer planning their wedding date and packing up for college. They decided to get married on July fourth, which would be romantic and more convenient for the both of them. Victoria bought a beautiful white dress with her foster mother and six bridesmaids while Devin used his father's tux from when he got married. They chose a location that had a big impact on their lives: the courtyard where Devin asked to be Vic's girlfriend. They picked out the catering and the decorations, which were sky blue with little hints of white lace around the edges. The bouquet mostly consisted of roses, carnations, and tulips, which were all of Victoria's favorite flowers. They asked a local priest to wed them and he agreed. They made the invitations and invited their graduating class to the wedding.
Everything went smoothly, and Vic was glad.
As the wedding day drew closer, Vic found herself talking to her mother a lot. Usually it was in her room or on the back porch, but she always took some time out of her day to thank her mother for being there when it felt like no one else was.
"I'm getting married soon mom." Vic said one night, about a week before the wedding.
"I know you never got the chance to meet him, but Devin is the sweetest man you will ever meet. I know he'll care for me in the future." She sighed and rested her head on her pillow.
"I miss you mommy, and I love you."
The rest of the week went by slowly for Victoria; she couldn't wait for her wedding day. She began to worry about every little detail and feared about everything going wrong. She called her high school almost 20 times in two days just to make sure everything was perfect. She called the hotel convention center and asked if anyone cancelled or if something changed. Just two days before the wedding, she stressed herself out so much, she ran a fever of 101 and had a huge migraine. She began to stress herself out again.
"It's ruined!" She cried to Devin, who was staying at her house before the wedding.
"I can't be sick for my own wedding; I had everything planned out so perfectly! The band was perfect and the bouquets took hours to pick out, not to mention that it took a lot of convincing from the principal just to get married in the courtyard..."
"Baby, you need to relax." Devin sat next to her and rubbed her temples lightly.
"You're stressing yourself out way too much. Everything is going to be just fine."
"Not when I have a fever!" She cried. She buried her face in her hands and began to sob quietly.
"I'm actually beginning to think that my life isn't as perfect as I think it is."
Devin cupped her face in his hands and slowly lifted her head up. He wiped the tears from her red, puffy face.
"Honey, your life IS perfect." He explained softly.
"You came from a dysfunctional family where your future was already set in stone, but you decided to turn your life around and become the most successful member of your family." He waited for a few seconds in order for what he just said to sink in. She stared at him with hopeful eyes.
"You're an inspiration to everyone around you and you are incredibly strong. You deserve nothing but the best, and you stressing out two days before your wedding day isn't healthy. Everything will be absolutely perfect, just you wait and see."
Vic sniffled and nodded, her mouth forming a faint smile.
"You really think I'm perfect?"
"Absolutely." He chuckled.
"Why do you think I'm marrying you?" She laughed and kissed him tenderly on the lips.
"Thanks baby. I love you so much."
"Love you too." He hugged her tightly and stood up after awhile.
"I'm going to run to Walgreens to get you some Tylenol; you need anything else?"
"No, I'm good." She smiled at him.
"Don't stress! Everything will be perfect as long as you're there."
Vic blushed.
"Well, I probably won't be there if you don't get me my goddamn Tylenol!"
Devin winked and walked out the front door.
Vic rested her head on her pillow and sighed lightly. She cleared her mind and she started to feel a lot better.
"Mom, I don't wanna stress about this stuff, but what if something goes wrong?" She said aloud.
"I just want a perfect wedding."
The next day, Victoria felt a whole lot better. She no longer had a fever and she only had a small headache. In fact, she didn't even talk about her wedding, which was only a day away. Devin was very impressed with her progress.
"See? Told you you didn't have to worry about everything!" He said that night. Vic smiled.
"I'm just ready to spend the rest of my life with the greatest man alive."
The next morning, Vic woke up at four thirty. She picked up her six bridesmaids and went to the dress shop to pick up their dresses. Then they drove to the school where the hired workers were setting everything up. They went into one of the girls' bathrooms to change. It wasn't the fanciest setting, but the bathrooms at the school were very roomy and clean.
Right after the bridesmaids finished getting ready, Vic stepped out in her brilliant white dress. It hugged her waist perfectly and shimmered with white gemstones. The train flowed out 12 feet behind her and she had to lift her dress slightly in order for her to walk properly. All the other girls gasped in amazement and a few even started to cry.
All of them then proceeded to apply their makeup and do their hair, a process that took almost three hours. After applying the last bit of makeup, all of the girls looked beautifully stunning. They couldn't stop looking at themselves in the mirrors, they looked that beautiful. When they realized what time it was, they quickly hurried into the hallway to prepare for the ceremony.
Meanwhile, the guys had met up at a local bar and grabbed a couple of drinks. They had gotten ready at their own houses and met up to plan out the day. The groomsmen proposed a toast to Devin, wishing him many more years of happiness and health. After two (non-alcoholic) drinks, they all drove to the school to prepare themselves.
Pretty soon, the guests started to arrive and sit in their respective seats. The organ player started to warm up by playing a couple small tunes. Devin's mother sat down in her respective seat in the front, already getting teary eyed. Victoria's foster mother and four of her siblings sat in the seat opposite of her, but her foster mother said it didn't feel right.
"I'm not her real mother. I have no right to sit in the place of a great women." Devin's mother eventually coaxed her to accept her place as Vic's mother.
The minister, a short, bald man, made his way to the front of the alter. This was the cue for the audience to direct their attention to the front and that the wedding was about to start. The organ player started to play some mellow notes, and everyone turned their attention to the back, where Devin started to walk slowly down the isle. He was nervous and he started to sweat, but he took a deep breath and continued forward. His mother had already started crying and his father had a couple of tears in his eyes. He made his way to the front of the altar and waited for his soon-to-be wife.
His best man Connor then made his way down the isle, his arm latched around the maid of honor, Cassie. Devin had known Connor since the second grade, and Cassie was Victoria's neighborhood friend.
They made their way to the altar and both grinned at Devin. He grinned back as they took their places next to him.
The groomsmen then made their way down the isle, each had their arms latched around a bridesmaid. Each of them slowly took their respective places and waited for the bride to arrive.
Victoria was standing around the corner, where she waited to make her grand entrance. She started to panic and have a slight panic attack.
"Oh God, not now!" She whimpered to herself.
Her foster father, who was fixing her veil, turned and looked her in the eyes.
"Victoria." He said, his voice raspy with age.
"When I married your foster mother years ago, I felt just like you. I was so nervous about the whole reception going wrong. I was giving myself grief over a wedding that didn't even happen! But I'll tell you what I did: I took a deep breath and imagined my life with the most beautiful woman in the world. I thought to myself, 'hey, we're gonna have a great life together and start a family and just be happy.' And you know what? I immediately felt better. In fact, I was grinning from ear to ear when I made my way down the isle, and my grin only got bigger when I saw my beautiful wife."
Victoria smiled. She was starting to feel a lot better.
"Thanks Rick." She hugged her foster father tight.
"Even though you're not my daughter, I still love you with all my heart, and I'm so proud of you."
She smiled as they interlocked arms and turned the corner. The organist began playing and everyone was staring at her. She felt nervous, but she managed to swallow her fear and walk down the isle with her foster father. Devin was looking at her, eyes wide in awe and his smile as big and bright as the moon. She sheepishly smiled back, but she realized that she looked ridiculous and her smile became bigger as she gained confidence.
Her father let go of her arm and sat down next to her foster mother. Vic stood in front of Devin, her breath hitched in her throat.
"Vic...wow, you look...stunning." Devin whispered.
She grinned sheepishly.
"And you look devilishly handsome!"
Devin fought the blush forming at his cheeks.
"Greetings, my brothers and sisters. We are gathered here today to celebrate the unity of Devin Christopher Winston and Victoria Ynez Rodriguez..."
Victoria barely even heard what the minister was saying. She was in such a daze; she couldn't believe that she was actually getting married, the first one in her family, at that. Her whole life had been planned since she was born and she could have accepted a life of drugs and prostitution, but she decided that she was too good for that. She wanted to make something of her life, and she made it all happen by staying in school and studying hard. A lot has happened to her in the past couple of years, but she pulled through and found the one who loved her despite her family history.
"May I have the rings, please?" Vic snapped out of her thoughts and looked around. Everyone was staring at the ring bearer, who had just walked up to the altar with the rings. Had she really been dazing off for this long? She felt a little guilty for missing out on half of her wedding.
The priest blessed the rings, then handed them to Devin and Victoria.
"Devin, wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"
Devin nodded slightly.
"I do." His voice was shaky, possibly from nervousness. His eyes were watering and he smiled brightly.
Vic smiled as she placed the ring in her hand on Devin's ring finger.
"Victoria, Wilt thou have this Man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"
"Yes." Victoria breathed, tears spilling out from her eyes.
"I do. I do. I do." She repeated over and over again. Devin smiled.
"Now, by the power vested in me by the state of Ohio, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss."
Victoria almost leapt into Devin's arms and kissed him deeply, which he gladly returned with equal enthusiasm. Everyone began to clap and cheer, and the organist began to play again. The two of them made it down the isle and walked out into the parking lot. Once there, Devin kissed Victoria once again.
"I love you so much." He whispered into her hair.
"I love you too." She replied tenderly.
The rest of the night was all a blur for Victoria. There was so much to take in and so little time to enjoy it. She remembered people congratulating her and wishing her the best, and she remembers cutting the wedding cake, and the Fourth of July fireworks spectacular after the reception. The rest, she hardly rememberd. All she knew was that she was finally married to her one true love.
Months passed, and pretty soon, the two of them were ready to start college together. They both applied to the University of Northern Ohio, since neither of them wanted to travel out of state for college. Victoria was planning on majoring in behavioral sciences and Devin planned on majoring in business and law. Each had their assigned books and supplies, and they even decided to rent an apartment in Oak Village, a bustling new apartment complex for young couples who are just starting their lives as a family. When mid September rolled around, the two of them moved into their new apartment, which was conveniently right down the street from UNOH. After some bittersweet goodbyes, Victoria looked over at Devin and kissed him.
"It's official: we've begun our life as a married couple."
Devin smiled and kissed her back.
"I've been waiting years for this moment."
A week later, classes started, and both of them found their courses to be fairly easy. Victoria made new friends and discovered new things; and she finally realized that this was the life she was meant to have.
I smiled as I remembered my mother telling me all about her childhood and when she married my father. When I feared of losing her just like my mother had lost her own mother, she would always reassure me that she would be right here with me until the day I die.
My stomach clenched and I shook my head, trying to rid the forming tears from my eyes.
She lied. I thought bitterly.
She left me with a...a...a MONSTER. And now she'll never return for me. I'm forced to live this life forever.
I took a few deep breathes until I felt my heart rate lower to a reasonable pace. Some tears that had fallen from my eyes left icy trails on my cheek and I wiped them away with my damp sweatshirt.
The cold was finally setting in and I shivered violently. I walked by a run down hardware store and realized that I was only a couple of miles away from home. The street lights flickered on and off due to old age and the storefronts were either abandoned or hardly occupied. As I walked down the street, I remembered back to when I was three and my parents brought me to this once-bustling little town. They would take me to the ice cream parlor just on the edge of the town and I would get a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream in a small, sugar coated waffle cone with rainbow sprinkles. The owner of the parlor, Rick Vallone, "Vanilla Bean" I would call him, would always greet me by the door every Sunday, the day we would visit after going to Church. He always knew just what I wanted, and sometimes he would give me an extra scoop of ice cream or add extra sprinkles.
"An extra scoop for an extra year of a long, healthy life, my pretty lady." He would always tell me. On my birthday, he would double everything, and even make the whole thing free.
When I reached the end of the street and saw the abandoned, run down ice cream parlor, I let out a sad sigh. It had been abandoned for about ten years now...my God, time flies by so fast. I remember walking down to the store one horrible night and seeing the windows and door all boarded up, a wooden sign on the door saying how the parlor went bankrupt and that the owners were deeply sorry for any inconvenience it would cause. I, of course, was devastated. I would go down to the parlor whenever I felt down and Vanilla Bean would give me two scoops of ice cream as I told him about the troubles I was going through. He listened and always gave me encouraging words of advice. He also charged me nothing on the ice cream.
I wondered where Vanilla Bean was now. He was old when I was just a kid, so he might be dead now...I hoped he was alive and well; I trusted him more than I trust anyone in this world.
A quarter of mile away from the town, I turned down a street with an old, battered up sign, faded from aging, that read:
"Welcome to Oak Village: A New Kind of Living."
I scoffed at the sign; it was a huge lie. Maybe a decade ago it was a new kind of living, but now it was like a living nightmare.
I ducked under the old crossing arm next to the abandoned guard gate and continued on. Nobody even bothered to guard such a run down place; anyone could enter and leave as they pleased.
I passed the main lobby and reception building, which was mostly used to stash any drugs or weed or something like that. I've always been too afraid to go in there in fear of what I might find.
The old, dimly lit apartment complexes came into view, and I continued down to the back of the complex. Each three story building had about 50 rooms each and always had some sort of haze floating lazily through the halls. Windows were either filthy, broken, or boarded up. To find a normal, non shattered window was a rare sight; no one bothered to come out and fix them because they were all too scared. Doors were missing doorknobs and hinges and often squeaked very loudly when opened and closed. The roofs were leaky and paint was peeling.
It just wasn't a friendly sight.
Rap music was blaring somewhere in the distance. I figured it was one of the many gangs or drug dealers that hang around here or squat in an abandoned room.
When the music changed to Lil Wayne, I smiled to myself.
Druggie Dan was taking over.
"Hey hey hey, if you don' like my music, then get the hell outta here! Dis is MY place, so you better move your little punk ass outta my space!"
There was some arguing until a few guys gave up and stormed off, but not before shouting some profanities at him.
"Yeah, to hell with you, ya little fuckers." He mumbled to himself. I turned the corner and gave a friendly little wave.
"Hey Druggie Dan."
He turned and faced me, his Ohio State Buckeyes snapback fading from continuous wear. He was wearing a stained, overgrown Wiz Khalifa shirt with denim shorts that were sagging around his waist. He wore battered up Air Jordans on his feet that were almost black from dirt. Fading tattoos covered his muscular arms and small parts of his face.
When he saw me, he smiled widely.
"Skylar! What's happening, my main homie?"
"Not much, not much." He took my hand in his and gave it a firm shake. I had to grip my equipment with my other hand to keep it form falling.
"Is my dad home yet?"
"Nope, not yet. You got home just in time." He winked at me. He knew about my situation and what was going on in my home life. He was once just like me: he had no father, his mother was a druggie, and he was one of the smartest kids in his class. He was going to go Ohio State with a football scholarship, but his friends pressured him to do drugs and pretty soon he became a notorious drug dealer in western Ohio. While he may appear scary, he's actually the sweetest guy you will ever meet. That is, if you get on his good side.
"You sure I can't offer you any weed or something?" He pulled out a small plastic Baggie filled with green leaves. He shook it a little.
"It'll loosen you right up."
I gave him a look.
"Dan, you know I don't do that. I'm trying to keep my life in order, remember?"
"Yeah yeah, whatever." He rolled his eyes and out the bag away, grinning sheepishly.
"If you ever need anything along that line though, you know where to find me."
"I know Dan, I'll keep that in mind." I laughed. I turned around and headed up the stairs.
"I'll see you later!"
"See ya Skylar!" He called after me.
I climbed the rotting staircase up to the third floor, my back tightening up in pain. I paused at the top of the floor and took a few deep breathes, trying to ease the pain.
I don't know how much longer I can put up with this. I thought to myself.
I continued down the dimly lit hallway, little moths and insects buzzing around the only available light source, trying to keep warm in this freezing weather. I smelled something a little funky when I neared my room, but I immediately realized that it was weed.
That's the lady in room 218. She's always getting high off of something. Living in an environment that's filled with drugs, I typically know the smells of every drug there is. It sometimes comes in handy when the cops are trying to bust someone for illegal drug use; especially if it's someone I don't like.
I made my way to the end of the hall where a pale pink door stood polished and spotless. My room, 260, was arguably the cleanest in the whole complex. Every weekend I would polish the door and even fix the hinges when they got squeaky. I cleaned the numbers every chance I got and sometimes went down to the store to buy new ones. I at least wanted others to see how good of an example I could be in this run down complex.
I pulled out a rusty old key from under the frayed doormat and stuck it in the keyhole. I had to jiggle it for a while before the door clicked open. I trudged my stuff into the dark room and managed to flip on the lights.
The wallpaper was peeling from the walls and water stains blotted one side of the room. The once-white tile was chipped and stained black and there were even some loose tiles here and there. The light in the hall was dim and every couple of seconds it would flicker. The whole room smelled of stale alcohol and mildew. The living room was tiny, and it seemed smaller with the overpowering, moldy furniture. There was a tiny T.V. sitting almost gloomily on an old table. The wallpaper hadn't started peeling yet, but it had faded significantly. The light in the living room hardly worked; you had to bang the wall a couple of times in order for it to turn on.
The kitchen was actually in pretty decent shape: The white tile was scrubbed clean and the fluorescent lightbulb shone brightly from the hanging light fixture. The appliances were a little outdated, but they were relatively clean and worked like they were brand new. A wooden table sat in the middle of the tiny kitchen and had four seats circled around it; not that we needed four seats anyway.
I made my way to the back of the room and pushed open a door. I flipped the light switch and a light flickered on a few seconds later.
My room.
It was arguably the cleanest room in the house. My bed was neatly made, by blue sheets and pink pillows freshly washed. A wooden headboard leaned against the wall behind my bed and had little pictures and memos attached to it. My walls were painted a dark blue and my fan hung lazily from my ceiling. It was in very good shape, I had found it in the dumpster one day, fresh out of the box. I brought it back inside and hooked it up to my ceiling as my room would always get so hot during the summer.
My grey carpet was almost spotless and my dressers looked fresh and tidy. A mirror was attached to one dresser and that was the only thing in my room that was the slightest bit dirty. There were a few scratches and smudges around the edges, but it didn't bother me. I wasn't a big perfectionist when it came to this stuff.
My light blue electric guitar sat in the corner along with my acoustic guitar. I had picked up guitar when I was in seventh grade and I found out that I was a born natural. I had been playing ever since and sometimes I go down to the retirement home and play some oldies for the elderly. Everyone enjoys it and I'm given service hours which help me towards graduation.
I plopped my guard equipment into another corner in my room and put my backpack on my blue beanbag chair next to my bed. I then made my way out into the kitchen to make some dinner.
I pulled a can of clam chowder out from the pantry and poured it into a saucepan. I turned on the electric stove and waited patiently for the soup to warm up.
I felt kind of bad for ditching my teammates like that. It's not that I didn't WANT to go, but I literally COULDN'T go. Not only that, but I've never eaten at Breadstix before. I didn't want to try something and end up getting food poisoning. I made a mental note to myself to go there one weekend and try it out.
The soup was now bubbling in the pot and I turned the heat off. I searched for a bowl, but then realized that I hadn't done the dishes yet. I sighed and brought the pot to the table and ate from there. As I shoveled clams and potatoes into my mouth, I had this strange feeling that someone was watching me. This usually happens to me when I'm all alone and my back is turned to a door or window. I would constantly turn around and check, and my heart would relax when no one was there. Sometimes I would hope my mother would be standing there, and I would get my hopes up. Sometimes I wondered if it was my dad and I would be terrified.
It was a very long and tiring process.
I finished the soup and washed the pot in the sink. I turned the dishwasher on and trudged back to my room. I flopped onto my bed on my back, arching it carefully, and stared at my oscillating fan, making myself dizzy. I looked over at my dresser and stared at a silver picture frame. Through the glare I saw an older man with his arm wrapped around a smaller woman's waist and the other arm holding a little girl who looked to be no older than four. They were standing in a park on a bright sunny day without any clouds in the sky. Everyone was smiling brightly, and the man actually looked like he would just burst with pride.
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine why he would be smiling. I obviously knew it wasn't because of me.
I was a mistake. I AM a mistake. I thought sadly.
I'm not supposed to be here, everyone knows that, even my mother knew that. No one loves me in this miserable world. I have very few friends and...God, I'm such a fuck up!
I looked back up at the ceiling and remembered the time my mother told me the story of when she found out she was pregnant with me. She told it with such joy and sorrow that it was pretty believable. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off into a deep sleep as I thought about the past...
It was mid December, and mid terms were wrapping up at UNOH. Victoria and Devin, of course, breezed through the exams with ease. They studied nonstop and practiced formulas and even quizzed each other. Both were now relieved that all the stress had been lifted from their shoulders.
"Oh my God Devin, I don't think I've ever been this relieved to finish school before." Victoria sighed, flopping onto their bed.
"Oh come on, you don't actually think the exams were difficult, do you?"
She laughed.
"Not at all; I'm just ready to spend my first Christmas with you." She smiled at him sweetly.
Devin sat down next to her and rubbed his hand up and down her leg. He looked lovingly into her eyes.
"You know, I've been really horny for you all day."
"What?" She sat up and stared at him in shock.
"Devin...I mean...my God..." She shook her head in shock.
"You couldn't think of any other way to say that?"
"It wouldn't have any sort of impact on you." He scooted up to her and kissed her on the lips.
"Come on Victoria, don't you think it's time we start getting it on?" He whispered into her ear. She squirmed in her seat.
"We're married now, we don't have to worry about anything."
"Not worry about anything? What about AIDS or HIV or infections...or even pregnancy? Devin, we can't care for a baby just yet! We're eighteen!"
"Who ever said anything about having a baby?" He looked her in the eyes.
"I'll use protection and you could use birth control pills..."
"No Devin, I'm not gonna take any kind of pill." She looked at him with worried eyes.
"I just don't want to end up like my mother: having eight kids and barely making ends meet...and what if you leave me?"
"Vic, I will never leave you." He looked her and cupped her face in his hands.
"When I married you, I made a promise: I promised that no matter what we may go through, or whatever may happen, I would never leave you. You mean so much to me and I only want the best for you."
Victoria stared at him for a while, a small smile forming across her mouth. But after a few seconds, her smile disappeared and she turned her head.
"But...we're not ready to have kids yet..."
"We won't. When was your last period?"
She glared at him.
"It...it ended just two days ago..."
"Then I think we'll be fine. I told you, I'll use protection and in case you do get pregnant, which you won't, we can always get an abortion-"
"NO!" Her sudden change of tone caused Devin to back up a little bit in shock. Vic shook her head.
"I can't bear the thought of killing an innocent baby before it's even born...and adoption would just be too painful for me. If we do have a kid, I would want to keep it; but I'm just worried we won't have enough money to care for a baby..."
"I'll find a job." Devin said suddenly. Vic looked at him.
"There are some lawyers in town who are looking for interns, and the pay is pretty decent. I'm almost positive we would make enough money to care for all three of us, maybe even more."
Vic sat there, thinking about what decision she should make. She felt she was ready to have sex, but she wasn't ready for any consequences. She wanted a stress-free sex life and regular life in general.
"I promise you, you won't get pregnant." He reassured her.
She looked up at him and nodded her head slightly.
"Okay." She whispered hoarsely.
"I'll do it."
He smiled.
"Then get ready for tonight baby, cause I'm gonna rock your world." Vic laughed as he kissed her.
"Everything will be fine. Trust me." He whispered in her ear. He got up and left the room, leaving Vic in a state of worry.
She spent the rest of the day worrying and stressing about the events that were going to happen. Even a nice celebratory dinner with her friends couldn't calm her nerves. She had this horrible feeling in her gut that something bad was going to happen. It wasn't like she wanted to remain a virgin forever, but she just wanted everything to go right.
When she arrived home that night, her heart started to pound in her chest and she made her way to their bedroom. When she turned the corner, she saw Devin laying on their bed topless, the bed sheets covering the lower half of his body. She let out a shaky breath and made her way over to him.
"Get undressed." He commanded.
Vic nodded and slowly began to slide her dress off. When it was only a pile around her ankles, she suddenly felt very self-conscious and covered up half of her body.
"Hey." Devin said, putting his hand on her arm.
"You're beautiful. There's no need to hide yourself. Just relax."
Vic nodded and slowly got into bed next to him. She took in another shaky breath as he crawled on top of her.
And that night, Vic experienced things she never thought existed.
Since it was both their first time, they didn't really know what they were doing; each did what they thought appropriate. Vic thought she would explode with ecstasy; Devin did as well. At the end of the night, the two of them lay next to each other, hair messy and breathing heavily.
"Holy shit Devin." She breathed.
"I don't think I've ever felt like this before."
"Same." He breathed. He leaned over and kissed her forehead.
"See? I told you there was nothing to worry about. It was all just pure fun, right?"
She nodded and returned the kiss.
"Yeah, you were right. You wore protection right?"
"I sure did. Your chances of getting pregnant are slim to none-"
"Slim to none?" She sat up and glared at him.
"So I can still get pregnant?"
"Well, yes...but your period ended a couple of days ago; the egg won't fertilize. I promise you."
Vic slowly lowered herself back down and rested her head back on her pillow.
"Okay...if you say so..." She yawned and turned her head to face him.
"Goodnight, I love you."
"Love you too." And the two of them fell into a deep sleep.
The next day, Vic went to the store and bought a few boxes of pregnancy tests. When she arrived home, Devin chuckled and shook his head.
"You're worrying too much. We won't have a baby, I promise."
Vic shook her head.
"Just in case. I don't want to wake up one morning with a baby bump staring back at me."
Devin laughed and dropped the subject.
On Christmas Day, Devin woke up early to the sound of the fan in the bathroom. Confused he sat up, then realized that it was probably Victoria checking if she was pregnant. He chuckled lightly to himself and got out of bed. He knocked lightly on the door.
"Vic? Honey? We got it on weeks ago, I'm pretty sure we would've found out if you're pregnant by now-"
The door swung open and Vic stood in the doorway, eyes red and puffy, holding a pregnancy test. Devin started to freak out.
"Vic? What's wrong? Why are you cryi-"
"I'm pregnant." She whispered hoarsely.
Devin took a step back and blinked. Did he hear her right?
"Wh-what did you say?" He whispered back.
"I'm pregnant." She said louder. She showed him the pregnancy test. A little pink plus stared blankly back at him. He shook his head.
"No, it's probably just the test. It's probably a faulty one...you'll have to take another one, just to be sure."
Vic turned around and grabbed a handful of pregnancy tests wrapped in toilet paper. She showed them to him and he almost fainted at the sight.
Six pink pluses stared back at him.
"Oh my God..." He sat down on the bed and rubbed his forehead.
"Devin, you told me that I wouldn't get pregnant."
"I...I guess I was wrong..." He was in complete and utter shock. He could barely speak, let alone think.
"Well what the hell are we going to do?" She leaned against the wall and sobbed lightly
"We could always get an abortion-"
"Dammit Devin! I told you that I would never get an abortion or even put our baby up for adoption!"
"Okay okay...so does this mean we're going to care for the baby?"
Vic sighed and shrugged.
"I guess so.''
Devin walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her.
"We'll get thorough this, okay? We're gonna have a beautiful son or daughter to care for and we'll be one big happy family. Does that sound good?"
Vic nodded slowly.
"Yeah, I guess so."
Devin wrapped his arms around her.
"I'll help you any way I can, alright?"
Vic nodded.
"Think of this as an early Christmas gift; from me."
She laughed.
"Merry Christmas Devin."
"Merry Christmas Victoria."
When they notified their parents later on in the day, they were thrilled. They all said that it was the greatest gift they could ever receive. Their friends were also excited for them, but a few of them thought it was a bad idea.
"You guys are a bit too young. You're only freshmen in college!" They told them.
"If you don't support us and our decision to keep our child, then please keep your opinions to yourself and leave us alone." Devin and Vic replied. In total, they lost about ten friends, but they didn't care; they were having a child.
Months passed, and Vic's baby bump grew larger and larger. She had to shop at the local maternity store for shirts and pants. Devin got a job as an intern for a lawyer and worked on transforming the guest room into a nursery. He bought a crib and a little rocking chair, but didn't repaint the walls since the gender was still unknown. Victoria began to suffer from morning sickness and soon became too ill to get out of bed and get to class. Her professors sent any missing work to her and she worked hard despite her intense sickness. She would have to stop midway through her work just to vomit or because she felt too hot or cold. Devin would go out and get whatever she craved, which mostly consisted of Big Macs, orange chocolate, and breadsticks from Breadstix, which had just opened a few months earlier. Whenever she asked for them, even if it was during the middle of the night, he would go in his car and grab it for her.
About seven months into the pregnancy, after finishing up their freshman year, they went to the doctor's for a sonogram of the baby. By then, Victoria was waddling everywhere she went and she would wear loose clothing to cover up her baby bump. She began to feel little kicks and movement inside her, and it made her both anxious and excited.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Winston, it's great to see you." The doctor shook their hands and smiled warmly at the two of them.
"I see you're in the third trimester; my, how time flies! Let's get you into the screening room and have you checked out."
The three of them made their way into the screening room and helped Vic lay down on the little cot. She lifted her shirt so her stomach was exposed and the doctor took out saline cream.
"I'm just gonna rub this on your stomach so we can see the baby without harming you or the child."
He rubbed the cream on her stomach and powered up the sonogram.
"I'll let this warm up a bit before we take a look at your beautiful baby."
Vic smiled and Devin held her hand.
"Do you guys want to know the gender?"
"Yes." Vic replied, smiling.
"I want to think of a name that's unique and stands out."
Devin raised his eyebrows at her.
"Really? I was kind of hoping for a more common, easy-to-spell name. I was hoping that we could name him Jim or Christopher."
"Now what makes you think our baby is a boy? Our baby is obviously going to be a girl; and I want to name her Scarlett or Summer."
"Now why do you think our baby is going to be a girl?"
"Because I've been carrying her for seven months; I've known since week two!" She was starting to become irritated. They were arguing over something as simple as a name and the very gender of the baby. It was making her very anxious and upset.
"Devin, please, it's our first child, let's give her a unique name-"
"It's a boy." Devin stated simply, staring off into space.
"It's a boy, and his name is Christopher."
"Devin, I just want our child to be happy-"
"It's a girl." The two of them looked up at the doctor with a slight look of shock on their faces. The two of them were so caught up in the argument that they didn't even realize that the doctor had started the sonogram.
"A...girl?" Devin repeated.
"Yes, a beautiful, healthy girl. Take a look."
They looked at the tiny screen and saw a tiny blob within the grey fuzz of the monitor. They made out a head and a tiny body with little hands and feet. The baby shifted a little bit and Vic felt it in her stomach. It made her heart skip a beat.
"Oh my God..." Vic stared at the screen in awe. Tears filled her eyes as she stared at her little baby. She couldn't believe that she was staring at her own flesh and blood, her very own daughter. She could just imagine all the fun things she would be able to do with her: she could take her to the mall and shop for prom dresses and take her out to Breadstix, she just had to try their breadsticks. She could just envision her on her prom day, wearing a beautiful, sparkly gown, boyfriend by her side, pictures being snapped left and right...
"Well, everything looks normal." The doctor turned off the monitor and Vic snapped out of her trance. The doctor cleaned the equipment then handed her a towel to clean herself up.
"Your should be ready to give birth to a healthy baby in about two months. You should be in labor for about 15 hours, which is average for a woman your age and size." He smiled at them and helped Victoria sit up.
"Congratulations again, both of you. Having a baby is the greatest thing anyone can experience in their lifetime."
Vic smiled at him, but Devin stared at the floor. He wasn't too happy about losing the argument with his wife.
The two left the office and headed to their car. The sky was starting to darken and soft rumbles of thunder were heard in the distance. A typical summer storm in Ohio.
"I'm not gonna lie Devin," She said as Devin guided her into the car.
"I'm now really excited for our baby. I can't wait two more months for our daughter-"
"I don't like it." Devin's cold response stopped Vic in her tracks. She glared at him.
"Wait...what do you mean?"
"I wanted a son, not a daughter. A daughter can't play catch with you or join the All-American baseball league. They can't do the things a son can do."
Vic shook her head in disgust.
"Devin, a daughter can do all those things. She could play softball or flag football, and who knows? She might actually like playing catch. Are you still upset over picking a name?"
"It's not that, I just wanted a son. I wanted to have someone who would be a star athlete in high school, with all the colleges and universities chasing after him with scholarships. I want him to be the greatest achievement in this marriage."
Victoria gasped and fought back the urge to slap him.
"Dev, our daughter can become an amazing athlete and earn scholarships just as well as a son would. How can you be so distraught over the gender of our baby?"
He shrugged.
"I just wanted a boy. Plain and simple." He buckled his seat belt.
"Let's go, I'm meeting some friends for lunch in 30 minutes."
He started the car and pulled out of the lot, but Vic kept stared at him.
"Are you saying you already hate our daughter?"
"I didn't say that, I'm saying that she won't be the greatest achievement in our family." He said this while looking straight ahead.
Vic pressed her head against the seat and sighed. Her husband didn't like the baby already, and she still had two months to go before she was born. He wanted a boy, not a girl, even though they couldn't control the gender. She pursed her lips together and clicked her tongue.
"Can we name her Autumn?" She asked quietly.
He shrugged.
"Do whatever you want, I want no part of the baby."
That did it for her. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed lightly.
"Oh Devin, why can't you just love our baby?"
Devin said nothing and continued driving.
Vic was dropped off in front of the apartment and Devin drove off in a haste, apparently late for meeting his friends. As he left the complex, Vic began to sob loudly. She climbed the three flights of stairs slowly and painfully and paused at the top flight to catch her breath. She continued down the hallway slowly, still sobbing loudly. She felt a little embarrassed because she didn't want the neighbors to hear her, but she couldn't help it. She was just too sad.
She got to their room and slowly made her way to their bedroom. She sat down on the bed and cried her heart out. She couldn't believe her own husband didn't want the baby simply because it was a girl. He didn't realize that girls can be just as talented as boys, with a few possible limitations. It was his own flesh and blood, and he was turning it down as if it were nothing. It made her sick to her stomach.
She wiped her eyes and looked down at her baby bump. She wrapped her arms around it and rubbed her hands gently over it.
"I'll still love you, my beautiful daughter, even if you have no father." She smiled sadly at her stomach.
"I'll never leave you, no matter what happens. I love you so much."
At that moment, she felt a slight kick in her stomach and her smile brightened. She knew her daughter understood what she was saying, and she was confirming it with her mother to reassure her. She rested her head on her pillow and slowly fell asleep, feeling reassured.
When she woke up, she heard the front door open and close hastily, and she heard keys clatter onto the counter.
"Vic?" He called out.
"In our room!" She called out. She looked at her clock: 6:43. How long had she been out? How long was Devin gone?
Devin walked into their room and hung his coat on the door. He kicked off his shoes and turned to Vic. They glared at each other for a long time in deafening silence.
"I guess you want me to apologize." Devin grunted. He made his way to the bed.
"Not if you won't mean it." She was still irritated and upset at him, and now he was asking to apologize? She couldn't believe how rude he was being.
He sighed.
"I'm sorry. And I'm not just saying it, I really, really mean it. I was so excited to teach my child how to play baseball and have him become the greatest athlete he can become...I was too stupid and selfish to see that I was going to have someone to call my child." He interlaced their fingers.
"When I was younger, I didn't play any sports. My parents thought it was too dangerous for me to play contact sports and that kept me from experiencing the true joy of being good at something."
"So...you wanted a son so he could do the things you never had the chance to do?"
He nodded.
"Exactly. I was acting selfishly, and I realize that it was wrong of me. I'm thrilled that we're having a daughter that I can protect. I'm sure she will turn out to be beautiful just like her mother."
Vic smiled.
"You know, she can still become a great athlete. Girls can be great athletes, you know."
"I know, but she might not have an interest in sports. She might be interested in boys and shopping. If she's interested in sports, then that'll be great." He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, but not too tight for the sake of the baby.
"I love you Vic, and I'm sorry. I'm incredibly thrilled that we're having a daughter."
Vic hugged him back, tears filling her eyes.
"I love you too Dev. Now more than ever."
Devin sat up and leaned over Vic's stomach.
"You hear that Autumn? I'm sorry I was mean to you and didn't want you. Daddy was being a little crazy; but I love you, and I can't wait to see you." He planted a small kiss on her stomach. Vic chuckled and more tears filled her eyes. She sat up and kissed Devin slowly.
"Let's get some sleep. Carrying this baby everywhere can be pretty exhausting." She laughed.
"I bet." He chuckled. He got up and offered his hand to her. She grabbed it and sat up slowly, then stood up and made her way to the bathroom. The two of them got ready for bed and walked hand in hand to their bed. They got under the covers and turned off the lights.
"I'm glad we're having a daughter. We're gonna be like one big happy family." Devin said, spooning Vic gently.
"I know, I'm really excited." She yawned.
"Goodnight babe."
"Goodnight." And the two of them drifted off to sleep.
They spent the rest of the summer hanging out with friends in Lima, and around late August Vic's morning sickness became very extreme. She would vomit every time they got into the car or whenever she woke up. She would have intense hot flashes one second, then the next become freezing cold. She was incredibly dizzy and nauseous all the time and her cravings were off the charts.
"As much as I love our daughter, I can't wait for her to be born already!" She exclaimed to Devin one day after vomiting ten times in an hour.
Once September rolled around, Vic didn't have the strength to get up for the start of their sophomore year. Her new professors sent her work, but they warned her that she couldn't miss too many days of school or else she would be expelled. She was due at the end of the month, and that made her anxious, excited and relieved. Her morning sickness was almost unbearable, and now she could feel every little movement her daughter was making. She just wanted her to be born already.
Towards the end of September, Vic had finally managed to get herself out of bed and she went into the kitchen to make sone chicken noodle soup. She waddled to the pantry and grabbed the small can when she felt a slight twinge in her abdomen. She paused, afraid that something had happened to her baby, but she continued to prepare her lunch after a few moments. As soon as she took one step towards the stove, something wet dripped between her legs. She dropped the can and went numb.
"Oh fuck, not now!" She looked down at her soiled nightgown and the water dripping from between her legs. She began to feel a slight pain in her abdomen and she started to panic.
"Shit shit SHIT! Why did it have to be now?" She waddled over to the phone and frantically dialed Devin's number. It was a Wednesday and he was probably in the middle of a class, but she didn't care. She was going to give birth soon and she had to get to the hospital.
"Vic? What's wrong?" Devin's whispering voice answered a couple rings later.
"Devin, my water broke. The baby's coming."
"What?" He said much louder. She heard some shuffling and a few angry voices.
"My wife's about to give birth! I think quantum physics can wait!" It made Vic grin despite her worry.
"Vic! Baby are you there?"
"I'm here." Her voice became strangled.
"Just please hurry!"
"I'm in the car right now, I'll be over in a few seconds. Just take a few deep breaths."
Vic began to breathe deeply, but she could feel her baby moving around inside her. She began to freak out.
"Devin, this baby wants OUT. Please hurry!"
"I'm pulling in right now, okay? Wait there, I'll be right up." There was a click and the line went dead. She hung up the receiver and made her way to the little closet next to the front door and grabbed the bag of clothes that they had prepared for this time. She wrapped her arm around the circumference of her baby bump and took a few more deep breaths.
"I'll finally get to see you, Autumn." She breathed out.
Just then the door burst open and Devin scooped her up in his arms. She was heavy, but Devin didn't mind. He had to get her to the hospital ASAP.
"Why did we have to live on the top floor?" He huffed as he reached the bottom of the second flight of stairs.
"It was the only room available, now hurry up! I don't want to give birth on a staircase!"
He brought her to their car and sat her down gently in the passenger seat. He quickly made his way to the driver's seat, started the engine, and drove off in a hurry.
"Devin, please be careful, I don't want to hurt the baby."
"I'm being as careful as I can Vic, but we need to get you to a hospital. I'm going a little over the speed limit."
They sped along the road, blowing through three red lights and almost every stop sign before they pulled into the hospital parking lot.
Devin ran out of the car and grabbed the nearest attendant.
"My wife's giving birth! Send for a doctor!"
The attendant pressed a button on a control panel and a gurney was wheeled out by a few nurses. Devin went to the passenger side of the car and helped Vic get out of the car. Her contractions were becoming more frequent and more painful.
"Just pull this baby out of me already!" She nearly screamed at the nurses.
"Ma'am, we're taking you to the maternity ward, just remain calm." One of the nurses told her.
They made their way into an empty room and the nurses opened the blinds to let some light in, but it had started to rain and it was coming down in buckets.
"We'll go get the doctor. In the meantime, just try to relax." The nurses hurried out of the room.
"Devin..." Vic was panting.
"What is it sweetie?" He was squeezing her hand lightly and massaging it gently.
"I think...I think something's wrong..."
His eyes grew wide.
"What do you mean? How can something be wrong?"
"Something just feels...different. I felt like this...about a month ago...but it wasn't as bad. I think...I think she was supposed to be born...a month ago..."
"But...but your water broke a little while ago. If she was ready to be born a month ago, your water would've broke."
"She might have been...ready...despite my water not breaking. She just might have had a...delay..."
Devin was about to say something, but the door burst open and the doctor rushed in with a few nurses.
"Alright Victoria, let's deliver your healthy baby! I'll need you to spread your legs apart and situate your ankles on these little stirrups."
Vic slowly spread her legs apart and let out a cry. It felt like her baby was already on its way out.
"That's a normal reaction, you're not used to having your legs opened so wide this late into the pregnancy. I'm just gonna see how dilated your cervix is."
The doctor then began to use a finger to measure the cervix. Devin tensed up during the process; he didn't want anyone touching her like that, but Vic squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile.
"That's his job." She mouthed to him.
The doctor backed up and stared at her center intently.
"That's impossible..." He muttered.
"What is?" Devin and Vic both asked at the same time, looking at each other nervously before looking at the doctor intently.
"Your cervix is nine centimeters dilated. Labor begins when it's 10 centimeters dilated, and that usually takes hours before it's finally ready." He shook his head.
"I've never seen this before. Your cervix has been dilating slowly for about a month and you probably didn't even know it." He looked up at her.
"Did you have any symptoms a month ago? Such as bleeding or severe abdominal pain?"
Vic nodded.
"I felt a sharp pain-ah!-in my abdomen early in August." Her stomach cramped severely and painfully. She didn't know how much longer she could put up with this.
"It got progressively worse as the month went on."
The doctor nodded.
"When did your water break?"
"About an hour ago."
He rubbed a hand through is short black hair.
"I don't know how to put this, but your baby has no exact due date."
Vic and Devin stared at each other in utter confusion.
"W-what?" Vic just stared at him.
"Your cervix began dilating in early August." He moved over so both Vic and Devin could see him.
"It dilated slower than normal, but it was enough to cause noticeable pain in your abdomen. You were supposed to go into labor a month ago, but your baby was still not quite ready. So as another month passed and your baby
developed, the cervix continued to dilate to the point where you would be in the latter stages of labor. When your water broke, the cervix was dilated to the point where you would be giving birth. That's why you're having such intense pain, you're at the end of labor."
Vic looked at him in shock.
"I-Is the baby gonna be alright?"
"Yes, your baby is completely fine." He moved back in front of Vic.
"In fact, your baby is fine because of your delayed labor."
"What? What do you mean?"
"If your stages of laboring were completely normal, you would've given birth in early August, resulting in a premature birth."
Vic's heart nearly stopped.
"Because of the delay, your baby had time to mature for the whole nine month gestation period. You and the baby are gonna be fine, but your birthing process might be a bit more painful. You're a lucky woman, Mrs. Winston."
He stood up and made his way to the door.
"I need to go help the other patients. The nurses here will help you deliver your baby." With that, he hurried out the door and down the hall.
"Alright Mrs. Winston, let's see your beautiful baby girl." A few nurses put on surgical masks and gloves and moved in front of Vic.
"Alright, are you ready?"
Vic nodded and grabbed Devin's hand.
"I'm ready."
"Alright then, push!"
Vic began to push with all her might, groaning and gasping in slight pain. She took a few deep breaths, then continued to push.
"Keep going, you're doing great." The nurses encouraged.
Vic continued to push with all her might until she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen. She let out a mangled cry and stopped pushing.
"I...I can't go on...! It hurts!"
"There's no turning back now baby. You've got this." Devin leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
Vic took a deep breath and pushed some more. There was a sharp pain between her legs and she let out a scream.
"I see the head! Keep pushing sweetie!" The nurses called out.
Vic's heart monitor started beeping rapidly. Devin began to squeeze her hand lightly.
"Vic, calm down; you're starting to freak out."
"I'm not calming down until this pain subsides!" She nearly screamed at him.
"You're almost there! Once the head's out, it's all over."
Vic gave one final push and let out a scream. There was a slick popping sound, and little crying noises filled the room.
"The head is out! The worst is over, just give us a few more pushes."
Vic was drenched with sweat and was exhausted, but she pushed a few more times before the nurses held up a red, crying baby.
"There she is! Your beautiful baby girl."
Vic let out a shaky sigh and started crying tears of joy. Devin rubbed her arm and kissed her.
"I'm so proud of you baby."
Vic kissed him back.
"She's finally here...after months of waiting I finally get to see her..."
The nurses cut the umbilical cord and took the baby out of the room.
"We're just gonna run some tests and clean your baby before you can see her. It will only take a few minutes."
Devin and Victoria were left in the room, too exhausted and overjoyed to speak. After a few minutes, Devin's phone vibrated in his pocket. He looked at it and smiled.
"Your parents are on the way to see the new baby. Mine are as well. They couldn't be more thrilled." He kissed her.
"I'm so proud of you baby, I know it was tough, but you pulled through."
Vic smiled lazily.
"Thanks babe. I need to tell you something."
"What is it?"
She laughed lightly.
"Can we not have another kid?"
Devin laughed.
"One's enough for us." And he kept laughing.
The nurses walked in a couple minutes later, holding the baby wrapped loosely in a light pink blanket with a light pink cap covering her head.
"Your baby girl is as healthy as can be. In fact, she was the calmest baby in the room!" She handed the baby to Vic.
"She's very beautiful, just like her momma."
Vic looked down at her baby in her arms. Her little face was scrunched up, her rosy cheeks puffed out a little. Her button nose twitched occasionally and her tiny mouth would often open and close, her tiny pink tongue tasting the air. She slept soundly as Vic held her, and she would make little sighing noises every few seconds. Vic smiled and began to cry.
"Hi baby." She whispered.
"It's me, your mama. Are you glad to finally be able to see me?"
The baby only yawned in response. Vic chuckled.
"Well, I guess you haven't already seen me yet, sleepy head."
Devin leaned over the two of them and smiled.
"Hey little one, glad you finally made it. You've been causing a lot of trouble for your mother and I!"
Vic chuckled and looked back down at her baby. She started to stir and she opened her eyes. They were a piercing sky blue that almost looked like ice. Vic gasped.
"Devin, our daughter has the prettiest blue eyes, just like you."
He looked at her.
"Well look at that, she's gonna pull in all the guys with eyes like those."
Vic smiled.
"Could you open the curtains? It's a little dark in here."
Devin turned around and pulled the curtains apart. Sunlight poured into the room and he had to shield his eyes from the sudden light. The rain had let up and the early autumn sun was shining brightly.
"Well would you look at that. Even the sun wanted to see our little girl!" He looked back out the window.
"I don't think I've ever seen the sky so blue before."
Vic looked at the blue sky outside then down at her baby, who was staring at her with her light blue eyes. Vic smiled slightly.
"Skylar." She said to herself.
Devin turned around.
"What did you say?"
"Skylar. Her name is Skylar." She said louder.
Devin gave her a weird look.
"I thought you wanted to name her Autumn."
"That can be her middle name. Skylar just seems to fit." She looked at him.
"Her eyes are as blue as the sky."
Devin smiled.
"My little Sky." His smile grew bigger at her new nickname.
"Skylar Autumn Winston. Is that your name, little one?"
Skylar let out a gurgle and smiled, as if she understood what they were saying.
"Then Skylar it is." He wrapped his arm around Vic.
"You know, it really does fit." He looked down at Skylar and smiled.
"It does. And you know what? We're gonna be one big happy family. Our daughter will be lucky to have us as parents."
Devin nodded.
"I couldn't agree more."
Then the three of them shared am few moments of silence, the sun shining brightly in the clear blue sky.
A sudden slam jolted me out of my slumber. I sat up carefully for the sake of my back and looked out my slightly opened door. The hall light flickered on and something metallic clattered against the table in the hallway.
My father was home.
"Skylar?" His booming voice echoed through the halls and into my room. I tensed up.
"I'm in my room." I called out, my voice cracking with anxiety.
Heavy footsteps thumped down the hall and got progressively louder, despite the thick tiles covering the floor. My door opened and my father stood in the doorway. His light brown hair was strewn all over his unshaven face and his once light blue eyes were bloodshot and glassy. His shirt was ruffled and wrinkled and his khaki pants were faded and stained. He stared at me for a minute, then scoffed.
"I'm surprised, I thought you wouldn't be home."
"I promised that I would be home before you. A promise is a promise." I said softly.
He let out a deep chuckle.
"You're just like your mother, you know that? She made lots of promises that she didn't keep, and look where we are now." He spread his arms out in order for him to get his point across.
"I am keeping my promises daddy, I come home every night for you. I make sure everything in the house is nice and orderly. I make sure that we remain a happy family."
He growled and made his way towards me. My brain told me to cower away, but I remained in my spot, my heart pounding in my chest. He grabbed my hair and yanked me off the bed. I yelped lightly as he held me in front of his face.
"We're not a happy family. Your mother is gone because of you, you're the reason why we're like this!"
He threw me against the wall, and I let out a cry as my head hit the edge of the wall. I was crumpled up on the ground with my head pounding and possibly even bleeding when my father picked me up again, this time by my throat. I gagged and choked and struggled for air as my father held me inches from his face. His breath reeked of alcohol.
"I hate you. I hate you with every last fiber in my body. My life would have been a lot easier if you weren't born, but your mother made a foolish mistake. You see what happens when you make mistakes? It stays with you for the rest of your life."
"Mom didn't make...the mistake..." My breathes were getting shallower and my vision was growing fuzzy. I made one last effort to make him let go.
"It was...you...who made it...and you didn't think of...the consequences...!" With the little energy I had left, I lightly kicked his shin. It wasn't even a kick, more like a light tap, but he screamed in pain. It was so loud I was sure my eardrums exploded in my ears.
"YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!" He screamed at me. He threw me out my door with such strength that I landed near the front door. I landed square on my back, and I screamed in pain. My scream was short and soft, however, because I was gasping for air. As I recovered from the shocking pain and tried to sit up, my father loomed over me and slammed his heel down onto my chest. There was a dull crunching sound and a sharp pain shot across my chest. My breaths came out in little puffs and I was certain I had a broken rib.
My dad leaned down and pressed his heel further into me. I gasped as more soft crunching sounds were heard. He looked right into my eyes and made a not so nice smile.
"My little Sky, you know the rules: if you hurt daddy, you're gonna pay the consequences, no matter how severe they are."
He then lifted his left foot off the ground so he was balancing on his right foot, which was still on my chest. I screamed in pain as the crunching sounds returned. I was starting to taste blood in my mouth, which was the obvious sign of a punctured lung.
He then proceeded to kick my hip as hard as he could. Sometimes he hit the bone, other times he hit my kidney. Either way, I yelped at the sharp pain that would race across my body with each contact. After about forty strikes, he stopped kicking and stepped off of me. For a few moments I was able to take in short, quick breaths and my brain was able to register the pain that I was under. I could only take in small breaths because of my possibly broken ribs. If I tried to inhale past a certain point, my chest would scream in pain. My hip was burning and throbbing up a storm, and possibly even broken. My back was worse than the two combined: it was causing a horrible pain to shoot up my back and into my brain, and it was starting to throb painfully.
My dad loomed over me once again, and I could've sworn I saw a hint of regret in his eyes. Maybe he was just realizing what he had done and who he had done it to. I was starting to get my hopes up despite my condition.
"Daddy..." I whispered hoarsely. Now I was starting to taste blood in my mouth, and I coughed a little bit up. My lungs burned in protest, and I quickly held my breath to ease the pain.
He glared at me, then he blinked a couple of times and the hate returned to his eyes. My heart sank as I had hoped my real father had returned to me.
"Don't talk back to me young lady." He grabbed my shirt by the collar and lifted my torso up. My body was jolted with an intense amount of pain and I violently coughed up a sea of blood, getting it all over my clothes and my dad's hands. My lungs roared with an angry pain, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. My dad looked down at his bloody hands, then looked back up at me, the hate in his eyes burning to new levels.
"Now look what you've done. You're nothing but a big mistake." He hissed.
"I-I'm sorry da-addy..." I whimpered softly.
"It was an accident...I sw-wear."
"No it wasn't. You did it on purpose, like everything else you do. You're just a big mistake that's torn this family apart."
"You kn-now I stayed because I l-love you...you know th-that, right?"
"You liar. You're lying, just like your mother." He shook his head.
""I think someone needs a nap to clear her head of all the lies she's carrying."
He brought his fist back and punched me square in the cheek. There was a dull cracking sound and I saw stars. I fell back onto the ground, my back screaming with a new wave of pain, and watched my dad pull his fist back again.
"I l-love you daddy..." I whispered one last time before my vision started going black. He brought down his fist one last time, but I barely felt anything as I slipped into a world of darkened pain.
A faint staticky noise filled my head as I came to. I slowly opened my left eye, but my right eye wouldn't open. I slowly lifted my right arm, still stiff and numb, and slowly brought it to my eye. My fingers touched swollen, sore skin that would throb when I pressed down on it. I let out a faint sigh.
Perfect, a black eye. Just what I needed. I thought to myself.
I looked around with my good eye and noticed that the hall light was off but the kitchen light was on. The living room light, which was usually on a timer, was now off. It normally shut off around 11:30, and it was on when I got home.
How long was I out?
I groaned as I sat up slowly and painfully. My chest and hip burned intensely and I had to pause to collet myself. The past hour's events came flooding back to me and I winced as I recollected every blow I received. It only made my body hurt even more.
The faint static was originating from my dad's room. Faint lights flickered out into the hall and I would occasionally catch little clips of news stations from Indiana or West Virginia. As I sat up some more, a loud snore erupted from the room. I froze and listened intently for any sounds of movement. It was silent for a few seconds, then another snore rumbled from the room. I let out a relieved sigh and my heart rate lowered. He was asleep, thank God. Tonight was exceptionally bad compared to every other night. Usually he would just shout profanities at me and would slap me at his worst. But tonight was one of his bad nights. He probably had too much to drink and just completely lost all his morals. These nights were very few and far in between, but recently they were starting to become more frequent than ever. It worried me to think that my father would drink to the point where he would just beat me until I blacked out.
I slowly stood up and smoothed out my clothes, which were covered in dry blood. I looked down at the tile and saw that I had been lying in a puddle of blood and it had smeared all over the place. I sighed. That was going to take forever to get out of the tile, let alone my hair.
I hobbled to my bedroom, making sure I didn't put any pressure on my right leg. I stopped every few seconds to take a few short, quick breaths, then I continued slowly down the hall.
When I passed my dad's room, I peered inside and saw my dad passed out on the bed. There was a half empty beer bottle hanging loosely in his hand and he was snoring loudly. I sighed. It was going to take awhile for him to sober up and act like a decent human being.
I made it back into my bedroom and grabbed my pajamas from my drawer. I had conveniently placed them in my upper drawer in case nights like tonight happen and I have limited mobility. I shut my drawer and hobbled over to my bathroom, which was thankfully right next to my room. I flipped the lights on and they flickered on after a few moments. I quietly shut the door and turned to face the mirror.
I looked completely different than I did just hours earlier. My left eye was black and almost swollen shut. My cheek was swollen and red. Dried blood was caked on my nose and my mouth, and I could still taste fresh blood on my tongue.
I swallowed nervously. This was the visible damage that everyone would be able to see, but there was still the unnoticeable damage that would affect me in the long run.
I slowly and carefully stripped down to my undergarments and stared at my reflection. I sucked in a shallow breath as my reflection registered into my brain.
My chest was deformed and bruised, and there were some bumps where the bone was pressing into my skin. I lightly pressed down on certain areas and determined that most of my ribs were cracked and one or two were actually broken; one of which not quite punctured my lung, but bruised it badly. Since the beating, it had moved slightly back into place. My hip was swollen and bruised, and by the look and feel of it I was going to need a cast. Fortunately, I had almost every kind of cast and brace, so that wouldn't be a problem.
Aside from tonight's injuries, I had other various bruises, cuts, and injuries from past incidents. Some were months old, and a few were over a year old. My body was like a battlefield.
I slowly turned to check on my back and I had to pause every few seconds to allow the pain to go away. When it came into view, I took a deep breath and braced myself from the gruesome sight.
A giant, red lump was situated on my lower back. Little red chord-like strips of flesh crisscrossed the lump, and whenever I touched them lightly, they would burn intensely.
They were nerves.
My skin was literally cut open and it never healed properly. As a result, the nerves grew over my wound, thinking that the skin had fully healed. Of course, because of constant exposure to foreign contaminants, it got infected. Puss was oozing out of every nook and cranny and the smell was pretty repulsive. Through a tiny little gap between the nerves, I saw a faint glimmer of something shiny.
Glass.
Six inches of sharp glass had been lodged in my back for over ten years. You would think it would be removed early on, but I was too young back then to get medical attention; so I've had to live with it for pretty much my whole life. Every little task became a huge struggle: walking, bathing, sitting, and even sleeping was almost physically impossible for me.
And it had been like this for over ten years.
I turned on the shower and waited until I saw steam rolling over the curtains. I slowly put my left foot in, recoiling a little bit from the sudden temperature change. I lowered the temperature and swung my left foot in. I faced the water and ducked my head under, my now wet hair clinging to my body. I slowly turned around and let the water gradually soak my wound. I let out a cry when my back began to burn, but I eventually got used to it and submerged myself further into the water. I grabbed the bar of soap and rubbed it on a washcloth. I brought my hands behind my back and gently pressed down on the bundle of nerves. It stung and I sucked in a few shallow breathes, but it subsided and I pressed down a little harder. I had to make sure every little nook and cranny was covered in soap, as I didn't want to risk an infection. I remember I hadn't cleaned it for a week when I was nine and my whole back was red and swollen. It took months of anti inflammatory cream and constant cleaning before it returned to normal.
I washed and conditioned my hair and cleaned my body before turning the shower off. I stepped out slowly and grabbed my towel from the towel rack. I wrapped it slowly around my body, careful not to press down too hard on my wounds. I slowly but surely dried my hair and tied it up into a messy bun. I opened the door and was met with a blast of cold air. Shivering, I hung my damp towel up and slid my pj's on, little drops of stray water dripped down my neck and stained my shirt, but I didn't care. My hair would dry completely in a few minutes.
I brushed my teeth and flipped the lights off, then went to my room and flopped onto my bed on my stomach. I sighed and looked over at the photograph of me, my mom, and my dad. Tears filled my eyes as I remembered when that photo was taken.
"Why did this have to happen?" I whimpered to myself.
I thought back to when I was five, the time when my mother left me and my dad. That was when my life turned upside down; all because my mother made a simple decision. Everything around me seemed to melt away as I remembered that one night many years ago...
As a five year old, I was particularly curious about everything in the world. Why is the sky blue? Why do birds sing? What does water taste like? I probably asked over a hundred questions a day, to which my parents answered almost enthusiastically. Even the most ridiculous questions were answered with a hearty laugh and a reasonable answer.
"Mommy, how come I have to stay after school every day? Am I doing something wrong?" I asked one day after my mom picked me up from aftercare.
"No sweetie, you're not doing anything wrong." She smiled at me through the rearview mirror.
"It's because mommy and daddy work all day and no one else lives nearby to take you home. Besides, don't you hang out with your friends and finish your homework?"
"Yeah, but I just wanna get home early. I'm tired after school." I yawned to prove my point. My mom laughed.
"Well, when we get home, you can take a nap for as long as you want. How does spaghetti sound for dinner?"
My face lit up.
"Yes please!"
She smiled.
"Good job for using your manners, Sky. Spaghetti it is."
I smiled. I loved it when my mother called me Sky. It made me feel all happy and special on the inside.
When we got home, I took a long nap as my mom began to work on the spaghetti. I woke up two hours later to the front door slamming shut. I sat up and smiled; daddy was home.
"Hello, my beautiful queen." The sound of lips smacking together made me cringe. I thought it was a little gross when my parents kissed, all because most of the boys in my class thought cooties were spread by simple kissing. That's why I told my parents to not kiss me on the lips unless they brushed their teeth. They laughed and agreed to do so.
"My king." My mother replied sweetly.
"Where is the beautiful princess?"
"Taking a nap. Could you wake her up for me? Dinner's almost ready."
I smiled and immediately got back under the covers, trying my best not to laugh. As my dad's heavy footsteps approached my door, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried my hardest to keep a straight face.
My door squeaked open and I forced back a smile.
"Oh Princess Sky, dinner is ready. Come feast with us."
I remained silent and smiled under the covers.
My dad made his way over to me. I let out a snore to prove to him that I was "asleep".
"Okay, if the princess doesn't want to be disturbed, then I guess she doesn't need any protection from the...TICKLE MONSTER!"
I gasped as I felt fingers tickle my midsection. I burst into a fit of laughter as I tried to wriggle free.
"Ok ok! I'm up! Stop tickling me!" I shrieked with laughter.
My dad stopped and kissed my forehead.
"Dinner's ready Sky, come on out to the kitchen."
I got out of bed and hurried into the kitchen where my mom was scooping noodles onto plates. I sat down and eagerly waited for my mom to bring me dinner.
She placed the steaming plates on the table and shook her head, smiling.
"Oh Skylar, when will you learn to set the table so your poor mother doesn't have to carry all these heavy plates?"
"When I'm older. But right now, I'm hungry for spaghetti!"
She just shook her head and sat down next to me.
My dad came out a little while later dressed in more comfortable clothes and sat down next to me as well. Right before I started to dig in, my mother stopped me.
"Skylar Autumn Winston, did you remember to say grace?"
"No..." I grumbled as I put my fork down. I grabbed my mom and dad's hands and bowed my head and closed my eyes.
"God, thank you for mommy and daddy. Thank you for letting me wake up every morning and go to school, and thank you for putting food on the table. I'm lucky to have a family like this." I ended it with the family motto. I looked at my parents and they smiled and nodded their heads; I had said enough.
"God, thank you for my wonderful husband, beautiful daughter, great job, and a house to rest my head under. I'm lucky to have a family like this." She looked at my dad to signal his turn.
"God, thank you for my beautiful wife and daughter, my job, my house, and all that there is to be thankful for. I'm lucky to have a family like this." He finished it with a firm nod.
"Amen." We all said in unison. Then, we began to eat. I shoveled spaghetti into my mouth like there was no tomorrow.
"Skylar, slow down! Use your table manners!"
I sighed and started to messily twirl the pasta around my fork.
"So how was school today sweetie?" My dad asked.
"Okay." I said, swallowing a mouthful of food.
"I learned about words that rhymed and I finally got to be the mom while playing dollhouse."
"Congratulations." My dad smiled at me, then turned to my mom.
"When we're done, I need to talk to you in private."
My mom gave him an uneasy look.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. I just...need to talk to you." His voice sounded wary and nervous.
I continued to eat my noodles in silence. After another serving, I helped my mom put the dishes in the dishwasher and she let me press all the buttons. She turned to me.
"Why don't you go color some pictures while I talk to daddy?"
I shrugged.
"Okay, but can't I listen to you guys?"
"No Skylar, this is a private conversation between your father and I and I don't want you listening in on us. If it's not that important, then I'll tell you. Understood?"
I nodded and skipped to my room. I closed the door, but left it cracked so I could hear my parent's better. What if they were talking about me?
I listened at the edge of the door and I heard my mother sigh.
"What happened now Devin?"
"Rick's not happy." Rick was his boss at work. My dad was a lawyer.
"Apparently the Mears trial was rigged in some sort of way. He was supposed to be accused of murder in the second degree, but he was accused for murder in the first degree. Rick found out, and he's livid."
"But it wasn't your fault! How can he be mad at you?"
"I was supposed to know, apparently. No one told me anything, and now it's cost me everything."
It was silent for awhile.
"What do you mean 'everything'?"
"I was fired, Vic."
My heart froze. I almost collapsed onto my floor from shock. My daddy was fired? But he was the greatest lawyer in Lima! He was only doing his job!
There was silence from the other room, then a faint sobbing noise.
"Fired? Oh God Devin, what are we gonna do?"
"That's what I was getting to. After I left the office, I went to Diamond Dozen and managed to find work."
I raised my eyebrows. He was working at Diamond Dozen? That was a bar that turned into a nightclub once it was happy hour. My mom always told me to never go there, as it could get very dangerous at night.
"Are you crazy?" My mom's sudden change of tone made me jump.
We promised that we would only work at bars or night clubs as a-"
"Last resort, I know; and I'm looking for another lawyer to work for. But in the meantime, I got a job as a bartender. The pay is just as good as my other job."
My mom sighed.
"Fine, but Sky's coming with me on 'Bring Your Child to Work Day.'"
He chuckled.
"Agreed." There was the sound of lips smacking, and my parents' door opened. My eyes widened and I hurried to my bed. I pretended to play with my dolls when my mom came into my room.
"HI mommy! How was your talk with daddy?"
"It was...good." She paused.
"He just told me how he got another job."
"He did?" My eyes widened. I already knew that he was fired, but I went along with my mother.
"Where's he working?"
She scratched her head and averted her eyes.
"Well, you know that place mommy and daddy tell you to never go to, even when you're an adult?"
"You mean the Diamond Club?"
"Diamond Dozen, yes. Well, he got a job there, serving drinks to other people."
"That doesn't sound so bad!"
"You're right, it doesn't...but it can be a pretty dangerous job. There could be some people who are looking for a fight and they could rob the place and hold him at gunpoint..." My mom shuddered.
"Mommy, daddy's gonna be fine. He's a big man!" I gave her a big hug.
"I know he is." She smiled.
"But other people aren't fine, and they can be very dangerous if they get too out of hand. I just worry about his safety."
I sat up and wrapped my arms around my mom.
"Don't worry mommy, he'll be fine."
My mom ran her fingers through my hair.
"I know baby, I know."
Of course, being only five years old, I didn't know the full extent of clubbing and drinking. I always thought everyone got along just fine, without any fighting or violence. As I got older, I realized how dangerous and scary it could be, but that was much later in my life, after the incident.
For the first few weeks after my dad got a new job, everything was normal. He came home at the same time and still greeted me and my mom with the same enthusiasm. But as a month went by, he started coming home a little later than before. He used to come home at seven, but soon he was coming home at eight, then nine thirty, then ten. He would apologize profusely when he would get home, mostly to calm my worrying mother down.
"My boss wants me to work the late shift. I'm trying my best to come home earlier." My mom, who was still uneasy about his new job, reluctantly forgave him.
But he still came home later and later each week. Soon, he was coming home around midnight, when my mom and I were asleep. I would wake up every time I heard the front door shut quietly and my dad shuffling quietly to his room. It often worried me when I would go to bed without my dad being home from work, but when he would get home, I would be filled with relief.
But a month and a half after he got his new job, he started coming home happier than usual. He would laugh loudly whenever my mom or I said something funny and he would sometimes stumble a little bit and struggle with simple tasks.
"I keep breathing in alcoholic fumes and marijuana smoke, I promise you, I don't drink and I don't smoke." He told my mom at the dinner table one night. His words were a bit slurred and I didn't believe him, but my mom, being so naïve on his job, believed him yet again.
Soon, his behavior got worse. He would often shout at me and my mom for doing something wrong and he was stumbling all over the place. He reeked of alcohol most of the time, and that freaked me out. He was never a drinker; he hardly ever finished his wine when we went out to dinner. I never knew my father had the potential to become full-out drunk.
"Mommy, daddy's drinking bad things." I told her one night after he yelled at me for not getting a 100 on a spelling test.
"He acts all different and he yells at you and me a lot. I think there's something wrong with him."
"He's fine honey, he's just stressed out at work." My mom was hunched over the desk in their room, working on some papers and reading out of a big book. My mom was working for her master's degree in biochemistry and she was working as a pharmacist. Recently, work was very stressful for her, as she would pick me up later than before and would say very little before arriving home and hitting the books. I knew she was doing it to make more money to support the two of us in case something happens to my dad. It made me sad and scared at the same time.
"Mommy, please do something! I'm scared!"
"Skylar, he's fine, he's just stressed out. Now please let me finish my work!" She snapped at me. Scared and upset, I ran to my room crying.
Only three days later, my dad came home in a rage. He went up to my mom and slapped her for no legitimate reason, screaming that she ruined her life and how he could have become a successful lawyer, but she was holding him back. She tried to reason with him, but he just pushed her against the wall and stormed to their room. I was in the living room at the time and hid behind the couch in order to hide from my dad. His behavior was now scaring me to the point where I would hide in my room right when I got home from school. This continued for two months before it all changed.
In mid May, my dad finally realized that his drinking got out of hand. He came home one night completely sober and asked for me and my mom to gather in the living room. I was worried he was still drunk and he would hurt me, so I stood behind the couch and peeked out cautiously at my dad.
"Skylar, I'm not going to hurt you, I'm completely fine." His voice was the calmer, smoother voice that my dad used to have before his problem. I slowly moved to the front of the couch and sat down close to my mom.
"Vic, Skylar, I can never say how sorry I am for everything that's happened. I was so upset about losing my previous job that I would just drink my problems away. I realize now that I've hurt you guys in a way that will never heal. I'm sorry, and I hope you two will forgive me."
The room was silent for a while. I looked over at my mom, who had a glazed look in her eyes. She seemed to be concentrating on something, possibly an answer.
"I want to know that it'll never happen again." My mom's low voice cracked.
"You've hurt me. You've hurt your daughter. You've hurt those who love you, and you didn't care. I want to hear from you that you'll never drink a drop of alcohol again unless I'm in the room with you."
"I promise; I'll never drink alcohol again. I was starting to get sick of the taste anyway." He let out a soft chuckle.
"So you forgive me?"
My mom nodded softly.
"I forgive you." She whispered lightly.
My dad turned to me.
"Skylar...? Do you forgive me?"
I squirmed around on the couch and avoided eye contact with him. A part of me wanted to forgive him, but a part of me was still scared that he would attack me despite him coming clean. I didn't want to lose my father.
"I...I don't know..." I squeaked out.
"You're probably still scared; that's understandable. Sweetie, I promise that I won't hurt you ever again."
I looked down at the couch and played with a loose piece of fabric. I really wanted to say that I forgave him, but I still couldn't get over the fact that he had tried to hurt me and my mother.
"Skylar." My mom's smooth voice made me look up at her. She looked at me with calm eyes.
"Do you forgive daddy?"
I looked over at my dad, who had I hopeful look on his face. It almost broke my heart to see him like this.
"I...I can't...I'm sorry..." And I burst into tears. All the pressure from my dad and my mom made me break and just couldn't handle it.
My mom rubbed my back.
"She's probably still in shock. She's not used to this behavior." She looked up at my dad.
"Do you think you can prove to her somehow that you're clean?"
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I can try, but I can't guarantee anything."
"Anything will do." She looked down at me and tried to comfort me.
"Sky, why don't you get a good night's sleep? You're probably tired."
I sniffled and nodded, then slowly trudged to my room. As I shut the door, I heard my dad whispering fiercely to my mom.
"...and she doesn't even forgive me! Doesn't she know I'm clean and won't ever drink again?"
"Devin, she's only five. She doesn't understand any of this. It's best to give her space and let her realize that you're not a scary man anymore."
"I can't wait for her to realize this, she needs to know it now!"
"Why are you getting so worked up over this? She'll come around one day or another."
"She needs to know. End of story." And my dad's heavy footsteps thumped into their bedroom.
I flopped onto my bed and sighed. I really wanted to forgive my dad, but something in my head was telling me that he didn't mean what he said. I wasn't sure if it was because of my current state of exhaustion, but the tone of his voice just seemed...different. It sounded like he wasn't going to keep his promise.
All throughout the next week, my dad seemed to get better. He would come home between seven and seven thirty and he was back to his usual cheery self. I was still a little uneasy around him, but I started to treat him like nothing ever happened. I could tell he was thrilled that I had accepted him as a father again, but I made it clear that I still had trust issues with him.
Everything went smoothly for the next few weeks. It was like we were a normal family again. But at the end of May, things took a turn for the worse.
My dad started coming home drunk again, this time worse than before. He would scream at me and my mother at the top of his lungs and would often resort to using violence and even weapons. He threatened my mother with a carving knife one night when his dinner was cold. He threatened to shoot my brain out of my head if I didn't start socializing with my friends. Every day I would hide in my room and never come out in fear of my dad. I knew he wouldn't keep his promises, I could see it in his face and hear it in his voice.
My mom started to become depressed and anxious. She was trying hard to maintain her abusive relationship, but it was all becoming too much for her. I wanted to help, but she would lock herself in her room until my father got home, when she would come out and try to reason with him. She said very little to me whenever she picked me up from school and simply told me to finish any homework I had left. It scared me to think that my father's actions were causing this.
On the first day of June, on my last day of school, my mom picked me up late with a massive bruise on her arm. I asked her where she got it from, but she simply told me that she bumped into a wall while running errands. Judging by the sad look on her face and the hurt in her voice, I knew my father did it. I was filled with a new rage.
We got home and I noticed some suitcases in the living room. Before I could ask what they were for, I heard some glass shattering and my dad swearing. My heart started racing and I almost ran to my room, but I realized that my dad would see me and would probably attack me. So I stayed in my spot for a few moments and waited for my dad to come out of the room. Fortunately, I heard the bed squeak loudly and my dad began to snore. I sprinted to my room as soon as I was sure he was asleep. I shut the door and began to cry.
A few minutes later, my mom came into my room, dragging the suitcases behind her.
"I'm leaving Skylar." She whispered hoarsely to me.
"I won't be coming back."
I stared at her, confused and scared.
"Wh-why? What about me?"
"I'm sorry baby, but I can't afford to bring you with me. When I earn enough money, I'll come back and get you. Do you think you can walk to school every day when it starts again?"
I nodded slowly, still in shock from what my mom was telling me.
"But...what if he...hurts me?"
"Then you fight through it baby. I'm sure you can stop his bad habits; he'll remember the little girl he left behind." She came up to me, kissed my forehead, and enveloped me in a tight hug.
"Stay strong for me Sky." She whispered into my ear, voice shaking from crying.
"I'll come back for you, I promise."
I was now sobbing violently.
"Wh-what if you d-don't?"
"I will. Just you wait." She stood up and wiped the tears from my eyes, then wiped away her own tears. She smiled weakly.
"Goodbye Skylar."
She picked up her bags and walked out of my room. I heard the front door open, then close with a loud bang. I buried my face in my pillow and cried my eyes out. My mom had just left me within seconds. I no longer had someone to look up to and would be able to call my hero; she abandoned the family she had loved so dearly. I was hoping everything would return to normal again and my mom would return or that my dad would stop drinking and realize the mistakes he's made. I cried myself to sleep while wishing for a normal life.
I woke up hours later to a loud roar. I sat up and thought a truck had rammed into the building. But as I made my way to my door, I realized that it was my dad.
"WHERE IS SHE!?" He screamed. I backed away from my door in terror as the sound of drawers and doors slamming shut filled my head. His heavy footsteps stopped suddenly and they made their way to my room. My eyes widened and I tried to find a place to hide, but I wasn't quick enough and my dad burst into my room.
"WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER!?" He bellowed at me. I was shaking and sobbing in horror.
"Sh-sh-she l-left..." I stuttered.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE LEFT!?" He was practically screaming into my ear. I started to cry hysterically.
"Sh-she left u-us...sh-she's not c-coming back..."
The rage in his eyes burned to new heights. He threw me on the floor and glared at me.
"Wait right here." He growled. He stormed out of my room and into his room. I was shaking all over, trying to decide if I should hide under my bed or not.
I'm not gonna let him hurt me. I quickly turned around and crawled to the edge of my bed, trying to lift the covers and scoot under the tiny wooden frame. However, before I could even move a couple of inches, my dad's footsteps came thumping down the hall and into my room. I froze in my spot, too terrified to even turn around.
His footsteps came closer to me and I felt strong hands lift up my shirt. I gulped, and suddenly, there was a searing pain in my lower back. I screamed as more tears filled my eyes. I turned my head slightly and saw my dad shoving a shard of his broken beer bottle into my back. He twisted and turned it, and I shrieked.
"Daddy, please stop!" I cried.
He leaned down next to my ear.
"It's your fault she's gone. You've been acting like a little brat for the past few months and it's been getting on everyone's nerves." He kicked my hip and I cried out in pain.
"My wife left because of you, and now you're gonna pay."
he kicked my face and I immediately felt my nose crack. As I brought my hands up to my nose, he stomped on the shard of glass in my back. I shrieked.
"Stop crying!" He shouted at me. He picked me up by my neck and threw me on the edge of the bed. My vision was filled with stars as a sharp, throbbing pain filled my head. I lay on the floor in a small pile of blood, whimpering softly, when my dad leaned down.
"If she doesn't come back soon, you're in for a whole lot more."
He then turned and left my room, leaving me on the floor, crying softly to myself. I tried to sit up, but I was in too much pain. I reached back and tried to pull the glass out of my back, but when I tugged at it lightly, a searing pain shot through my back. I gasped and cried even more, terrified that the glass would be stuck in my back forever.
I spent that night sleeping on the floor, stuck on my stomach the whole night, unable to move even an inch. I woke up the next morning covered in dried blood with the glass shard still stuck in my back. My eyes filled with tears, knowing that last night's events weren't just a dream.
I managed to get up slowly and carefully, and when I attempted to pull the glass out again, I found that it was starting to get a little infected. I wanted to call a doctor, but I was too young and I didn't know the number. Plus, it would be very expensive. I wondered if there were any doctors in the building that could help me, but the last I remember, the last doctor moved out a year ago, right around the time that Oak Village became a hideout for gangs. Every few weeks I would hear a gunshot or two fire right outside my window. It would scare the living daylights out of me.
I slowly peered into my dad's room and noticed that he wasn't there. His sheets were crumpled and wrinkled, and the TV was broadcasting a news station. I listened for the shower, but the water wasn't running. I realized that he must have gone to work early. I sighed and made my way back into my room. I was hoping that he would come home sober or at least come home not as drunk as the night before, but I knew that that was impossible; he worked as a bartender, for crying out loud. If only he were able to see what a monster he's become.
I spent the rest of the day watching TV and keeping a close eye on the door. Every little noise caused me to snap my head towards the front door and my heart would skip a few beats. Half of me wondered if it was my mom, but with each minute that passed, I became doubtful that my mom even remembered me.
When I heard the door handle jiggling around eight, I immediately shut the TV off and ran to my room. I shut the door quietly behind me and sat at the far corner of my bed, the one furthest from the door. I sat quietly and listened as the front door swung open, then slammed shut. I heard some ruffling and shuffling as my dad got himself situated. His keys clattered against the wooden drawer in the hall and he took a few steps forward.
"Vic? Vic, are you home?" He called out. I cringed, knowing that she would never come back.
His heavy footsteps made their way to the living room, stopped for a few seconds, then continued on. They made their way to his bedroom, stopped, then slowly got softer as he walked in.
"Victoria? Where are you? I just want to ap-pologize for all that's happened." I could hear the slur in his voice; of course he was drunk. What else was new?
His footsteps paused for a few seconds.
"Vic?" He called out softly. It was actually starting to break my heart, hearing my dad like this.
It was silent for a few seconds before there was a loud, ear shattering scream.
"SKYLAR!"He bellowed.
I shrunk down into my bed sheets and tried to hide myself from impending pain.
His footsteps began to stomp to my door and they paused right outside my door. After a few seconds of silence, my door handle began to jiggle violently.
"Skylar, I know you're in here! Open the door right now!" The handle began to shake so violently, I thought it would fall right off the door. I slowly made my way under my bed and tried to keep my noise to a minimum.
"If you're hiding from me, you're in for a whole lot of trouble!" The jiggling stopped, and I thought he had given up. I slowly shimmied out from under my bed, but before I was fully out, something slammed into my door. I paused and my heart jumped to my throat. Oh God, my dad was trying to break the door down.
"SKYLAR!" He slammed into the door again.
"I'm going to count to three, and if you don't open this door, you're in a shitload of trouble!" I cringed at the language (I was only five after all), but I remained on the floor, halfway out from under my bed. I knew if I opened the door, he would attack me, but I also knew that if I didn't open the door, I would still be attacked, probably worse than before. I didn't want my father to beat me up for something I couldn't control, I wish there was a way to tell him that he was an alcoholic who caused his wife to abandon her daughter and the man she used to call her husband.
"ONE!" He bellowed, slamming into the door.
I remained in place, frozen in fear.
"TWO!" Another slam.
Just open the door! My mind screamed. I wanted to open the door, as I knew that the pain would be a lot worse than if I didn't; but I just couldn't bring myself to open the door. I couldn't face him, not yet.
"THREE!" There was a loud bang and a crashing noise as my door crashed to the ground. I looked over at my father, who was glaring at me with angry, glazed eyes. The image was burned into my memory and still haunts me to this day.
He made my way over to me with quick steps, and I began to cry.
"Daddy please! I'm stuck, I couldn't move!" I hoped my lying was convincible (I would get better over the years).
He grabbed my arms forcefully and yanked me out, the glass that was still wedged into my back scraped up against the bed frame. I let out a cry as it sliced into my lower back.
Man, I was so close to getting it out too!
He lifted me up by my arms and held me in front of his face. His breath reeked of alcohol and weed; I almost threw up right then and there.
"You little liar." He spat at me. I had to wipe my face on my sleeve to rid the spittle dripping down my face.
"You really are just like your mother."
He swung me around and threw me full force into my closet. I landed right on my arm and felt my wrist twist painfully underneath me. Before I could even examine it, my dad grabbed me by my shirt and shook me violently.
"Where is your mother!?" He shouted into my ear once he had finished shaking me. My head was pounding violently and my left ear was ringing from my father screaming. All I could do was shake my head lightly.
"Where is she!?" He threw me on the ground and I lay there in blinding pain. I was holding onto my wrist delicately and arching my back off the ground to avoid the glass from going into my back even deeper.
I wanted to tell my dad the reason why she left, how he was an abusive alcoholic who didn't realize who he was hurting, but all I could do was shake my head again.
"I don't...know..." I whispered to him.
His face twisted into a rage and he kicked my hip violently. He was still wearing his rock-solid sneakers, and when they made an impact on my bone, I let out a cry. I was expecting another hit, but it never came. I looked at him slowly and saw him making his way out of my room.
"I went easy on you Sky." He growled.
"Next time you hide from me, I'll make sure you won't wake up until the end of the year."
That sentence made my heart stop, and it continued to make my heart stop for the next 12 years. He left my room, and I continued to sob quietly. My hip was burning violently and I was almost certain my wrist was broken. A migraine was slowly starting to form and pretty soon, it hurt to cry. I slowly stood up and had to put all my weight on my right foot, as the slightest pressure on my left foot caused my hip to burn fiercely.
I hobbled over my door and into the kitchen, where the first aid kit was located. I grabbed a wrist and hip brace, and slowly and carefully attached them to my wrist and hip. I was surprised that my dad hadn't seen me; in fact, I had no idea if he was even in the apartment complex. I hobbled over to the kitchen window and looked outside in the parking lot. My dad's light green, rusted Ford truck wasn't parked in the lot.
When did he leave? I didn't hear the front door open and close, and I certainly didn't hear his old, battered engine start up. Was I in so much pain that I didn't even hear him leave?
The phone suddenly rang, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was hopeful that it was my mother, and I ran to retrieve it, but when I looked at the caller ID, my shoulder's slumped as I recognized my aunt's number. I perked up however, as I realized that it was my aunt on my mom's side. She might know where my mother was and possibly even take me away from this hellhole.
I pressed the button eagerly.
"Hi Aunt Linda." I said excitedly into the receiver.
"Skylar? Is that you? My, how you've grown." Her voice sounded anxious and shaky, really unusual for my Aunt Linda, who was usually so cheerful and happy.
"Is your father there, sweetie?"
My stomach clenched.
"No, he's...at work."
"Oh...ok, well when he comes back, can you tell him to call me? It's important."
"Ok..." I said uneasily. Before I could say anything else, she hung up with a click. I was disappointed that I didn't ask her to get me out of here, but hopefully she wanted to talk to my dad about me possibly living with her.
Since I didn't want to confront my dad again, I wrote a few notes and stuck them on the kitchen table. I made sure to use my best handwriting. I hobbled back into my room, where I managed to prop my door up and pop the screws back into the hinges (I was glad my door was so old and simple to put together/take apart), and spent the rest of the day reading.
A little while later, I heard the backfire of my dad's truck and I tensed up. A few moments later, the front door swung open and slammed shut. There was some shuffling, then silence.
"Skylar?" He called out. I noticed that he sounded a lot more sober than he was before. He probably went to a park or something and just took out all his frustrations there. I wanted to get up and go to him, but I stayed back just in case he was still drunk.
His footsteps made their way into the kitchen and he grabbed a glass from the cabinet. He paused for a second and ripped a piece of paper off of something. I let out a shaky breath; he found the note.
"Call Aunt...Linda." He muttered lightly. I heard him reach for the receiver and punch in the numbers, cursing slightly to himself whenever he made an error. He was quiet for a while, and I knew the phone was ringing.
"Linda? It's Devin. You called?" I strained to listen for my aunt's voice, but I heard nothing behind my closed door.
"Yeah...what about her?" His tone suddenly became cold, and my heart clenched. Were they talking about me? Was I possibly going to leave my dad and live with someone who's more caring, and possibly even see my mom again? I made my way to my door and pressed my ear to the wooden frame, straining for the slightest reference to my name; but everything was quiet.
"WHAT!?" He screamed. I suddenly backed away from my door, scared out of my mind. Now I wasn't so sure that they were talking about me, or maybe they still were, but my dad just didn't like whatever my aunt was saying.
He slammed the receiver down, and his footsteps thumped quickly to my door. I backed up so fast, I tripped and landed square on the glass in my back. I gasped and tried to scoot further away from the door, but I wasn't quick enough and my dad burst into my room, face and eyes red with fury. He quickly made his way towards me and grabbed my throat. I gagged and tried to pry his hands free, but his hands were like a vice. I was struggling to breathe.
"You've really done it this time Sky." He growled in my face. I tried to turn away, but his hand kept me firmly in place.
"You have no idea how much trouble you're in."
"Wh-what are you...talking ab-bout?" I gasped.
He tightened his grip and lowered himself down to my ear.
"She's dead."
My stomach clenched. Did I hear him right? Who was dead? My mom?
"Wh-who?"
"Your mother."
Now I was certain I had heard wrong. My mom wasn't dead, she COULDN'T be dead. She was living with a friend or Aunt Linda, right?
"N-no she's n-not. She c-can't be..."
"She is." He growled.
"She died in a car crash. She was apparently thinking of you."
My heart stopped. No, she wasn't thinking of me...was she? Did she feel so much guilt over leaving me that she just lost all awareness of her surroundings? Was it...suicide? My mind refused to believe that she did it on purpose.
"No..." I chocked, tears forming in my eyes.
"She's n-not..."
"SHE IS!" He screamed. He shook me so violently, I was surprised my neck didn't snap.
"SHE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" He slammed me against the ground and stars filled my vision.
"You're gonna pay for this." His voice was muffled and my mind was going blank. Before I could even see what he was going to do, I blacked out.
When I awoke, I was covered in dry blood. I turned my head slightly and noticed the dark red pool soaked into my carpet. My face felt swollen and deformed, and I could feel it throbbing dully. My right leg was bent at an odd angle and it felt like some of my toes were broken. My shirt was folded over, revealing my bruised and swollen stomach. I rested my head back lightly and sighed. My mom was dead. She was really, truly dead. What if she was on her way here to pick me up? What if my one-way ticket to freedom was with her? Now I was gonna live here for the rest of my life. With that thought, I suddenly felt angry.
She wasn't coming for me. I thought bitterly.
She was gonna leave me here until the day I die, which apparently won't be long now. I managed to sit up slowly and painfully, and I took a few deep breathes to compose myself. A loud snore erupted from my dad's room, and I knew that he would be out for the rest of the night.
I tried to stand up, but since my left hip was still badly bruised and my right foot was now broken, I just decided to crawl into the kitchen to get the first aid kit. I lay lightly on my stomach and pulled myself forward, putting all the weight on my left wrist due to my broken right wrist. It was a slow and painful process, but I finally made it to the kitchen in about five minutes. I opened the cabinet (thank God it was a bottom one) and grabbed the kit, fumbled with the latch, and pulled out a leg cast (my mom was always prepared for any kind of emergency). I slowly sat up, straightened out my leg as best I can, and snapped the cast into place. It was the stiff kind, so my leg couldn't bend and remained straight until the bone healed. I grabbed some adhesive tape and taped my three broken toes together, and made sure they couldn't move when I flexed my other toes. I grabbed the Neosporin and hydrogen peroxide, and hobbled to the little crook next to the kitchen sink, where a pair of crutches were folded into a little box. I took them out, adjusted the height, and made my way to the bathroom. I flicked on the light and stared at myself in the mirror, and the sight almost made me gag: My left eye was starting to swell shut and my other eye was just starting to sport a bruise. My lip was split and bleeding, and it was swelling lightly. My nose, although not broken, had bled profusely. My clothes were covered in blood, my once light grey shirt was now a dark auburn color. My light brown hair was tangled and matted with blood. The sight of myself was almost gruesome for my five year old mind, and I quickly made my way over to the tub to clean myself off. I slowly and carefully shed my clothes off and sat at the edge of the tub, my broken foot hanging out of the tub. I turned the shower on and made it warm, then stuck my head under. My face and back stung, but it felt good. The blood washed off and I lathered my hair with shampoo and conditioner. I struggled a little with combing out my hair, as my mom used to do it for me. But now that she's not here...it looked like I had to do everything on my own.
I lathered my body gently and carefully, my body burning from the soap bubbles. I loosened the cast from my leg and my wrist and allowed a little water and soap to wash away the blood and possibly anything infectious. It hurt a little, but I fought through the pain; I've dealt through worse.
I turned the shower off and dried my wrist and leg carefully before snapping the casts back on. I dried the rest of my body and opened the tube of Neosporin. I squeezed a generous amount onto my hand and lathered it onto my face, back, and stomach carefully. I opened the hydrogen peroxide and drizzled a little onto my face. I gasped when it started to fizzle, but I remember my mom telling me that the bubbles were good for you, that they killed infections and prevented you from getting really sick...
I shook my head and rid my mind free of my mother. I couldn't think of her now, not while I'm still healing from my physical injuries; the mental pain would be too much for me.
I brushed my hair out and brushed my teeth, then went back into my room to grab my pajamas. I slid the nightgown over my head carefully, then I grabbed my dirty, stained clothes and threw them in my hamper. I'd have to look up how to use the washer and dryer tomorrow.
I dragged my sandal rug over the bloodstain while promising myself to clean that up tomorrow. I turned my light out and slowly got into bed, unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in due to my extensive injuries. Tears filled my eyes as I struggled to get comfortable. I finally had to settle with sleeping while sitting up, with my back arched off the pillow. I looked over at my desk at a picture that was taken just weeks before my dad came home with his new job; we were at the park, right next to the slide. I was smiling brightly and my mom and dad were beaming, their arms draped around my shoulders. The tears spilled out of my eyes and I looked up towards the sky.
"Mommy, I know you're in Heaven and happy, but why did you have to leave me?" My voice was shaky.
"I don't want to live with daddy anymore, he's too violent and mean." I closed my eyes; I was exhausted.
"Please watch over me and daddy. I know he's bad, but I know he has some good in him. Help me be strong for the rest of my life. And please, help me find someone who loves me despite my mean daddy."
I took a deep breath.
"I love you mommy, from now until forever."
I cringed as my feelings took over, and I cried myself to sleep.
I let out a shaky breath. That was 12 years ago, and I still get emotional when I think about my mom. I turned slowly to my ceiling and closed my eyes.
"Mom, I know you're watching out for me. Thank you for helping me pull through for all these years." I opened my eyes slowly.
"But please, bring someone along in my life who loves me for who I am and what I'm dealing with; someone who'll listen to my problems and offer their solutions. Please, that's all I ask of you. Please..."
I let out a faint sob, and I turned to my side and cried myself to sleep the picture of my once perfect family staring blankly back at me.
Well, I hope you guys liked it! Sorry for the length, the next chapters won't be as long as this:)
I'll try my best to update as soon as I can!
Peace!
MMXoxo 3
