Chapter Four

Explosions, 911 and Weekend madness

Sorry this chapter took a little longer than expected, I've been working on a book I'm writing at the moment, a book that I want published hopefully sometime next year but before that happens I need to actually write the book, so sorry this chapter took a little longer.

Selena, your idea will be put in, but I've got a few ideas that need to go in before that, but don't worry, you'll get to see the Volturi kids ;) With an extra surprise/twist that hopefully no-one will expect (Apart from Klutzarella123 and Tamara A.k.a CaptainMcCheese) but that's all I'm saying. Oh and Selena Cittcatt, Ammy Tiger and Ashley Catete thanks so much for the reviews :)

Jacob's POV

Finally it was summer! No more school to worry about, but man was I bored. The only thing I don't like about summer is that there's nothing to do! My friend, Embry was acting weird, he was ill for a bit, but it's been a week, he's avoiding Quil and I, we're sure of it.

I was babysitting again; Esme and Carlisle were going away for the weekend so I had the little monsters for three whole days. This was going to be fun. What the hell was I going to do with seven little monsters for three whole days? I didn't even think Friday was part of the weekend! I bet Esme and Carlisle only told me it was part of the weekend so they could get away from parenting duties for longer. I mean, that's what I'd do, lie to an innocent teenage boy, who doesn't deserve to be left with seven little monsters for three whole days, just to be relieved of parenting duties for a little longer! I parked my 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit, I'd just finished it, I finally found that master cylinder, climbed out of the car, grabbed my stuff for the weekend from the back seat and went up to the front door. I put a hand up to knock, but before I could the door swung open.

"Jacob, right on time. Thank you again for doing this. Please come in," Carlisle stood aside and I walked through.

"It's no problem," I replied, there's nothing I want more than to spend my Friday night with seven little ninja's who put not only my chances of getting into college on the line, but also my sanity, not to mention my chances of not getting a criminal record and sometimes even my life. If I get arrested for public damage again, my dad told me he'd personally kill me. Although technically that one was on Alice, she shouldn't have played makeovers with not only my school, Forks high school and the local middle school, but also the white house in Washington DC.

"Thank you ever so much Jacob," Esme said, carrying her suitcase downstairs.

"I'll take that Honey," said Carlisle as he took the suitcase from her went out to put it in the boot of the car. Esme smiled and stopped in front of me,

"If you need anything we'll only be a phone call away," she assured me, handing me a card with two different numbers on it, "The top on is my mobile, the second one is Carlisle's." I took the card and thanked her.

"Oh, Nessie's just out of nappies and good luck" Said Carlisle from the car.

"Thanks," I replied and watched mournfully as Esme got into the car and Carlisle drove off, wondering what Carlisle meant about Nessie just being out of nappies, do I need to buy more? Or is she out of them, as in she doesn't need to wear them ever again? Well there goes my freedom for the next three days.

"Jake!" I heard a voice from behind me. Rose was standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking at me with a confused expression on her face, "What are you doing standing in the doorway?" she asked.

"Waiting for my freedom to come back," I answered glumly. I closed the door and went to sit on the sofa. I dropped my bag full of everything that I'd need for the next three days (including a first aid kit, oven gloves, the last of my sanity, handcuffs, rope, seven collars with their names and a phone number to call if they get lost on them, dog leads, my sleeping bag, a pillow, spare clothes, a wash bag and a life-size version of stitch the little blue alien dog thing just in case things got really bad) on the floor in front of me. I glanced up at the clock; it was 7pm on a Friday night. Esme assured me that the kids were already fed and she'd put Nessie to bed a hour before because she was tired. Alice, Jasper and Edward were in the kitchen colouring in, Charlie would leave Bella over tomorrow as far as I know and Emmett and Rose were supposed to be doing homework, but seeing as Rose was standing right there and looking at me like I just grew an extra head, I'm gonna take a guess that they aren't doing their homework.

"It's only two days," said Rose, sitting down beside me. Just two days? Doesn't she understand? Not only am I a teenager, but I'm a guy too! And giving up two whole days of my summer vacation was bad enough, but to spend it taking care of seven little kids! That was going just a bit too far. But then again, they aren't all that bad all the time.

There was an explosion in the kitchen,

"Jake? Um… something went wrong," I heard Jasper say. Okay, I take that back, they are all bad all the time, but I've got the rest of today and two more days to get through so I might as well get started. I stood up and went into the kitchen. The kitchen was a mess, no, I take that back, the word mess doesn't cover it; the kitchen was more like a murder scene. Everything in sight was covered in egg, the place stank too. Edward, Jasper and Alice all stood, drenched to the bone, with sad little faces on. Kill me now, please.

"What the hell did you do?" I asked Alice.

"We uh… tried to cook an egg?" she said, as if she had no clue what she was doing, which is probably true.

"In the oven?"

"Uh… Yeah?" replied Jasper.

(AN: I don't actually know if egg explodes in the oven, but for the sake of this fanfiction, let's just say it does. Although I wouldn't advise trying it out to see if it actually does make it explode, nope, not a good idea)

"And you didn't think that it would explode in the process?"

"Nope," said Edward. Excellent, just excellent. These kids better start thinking about the consequences before they do something.

"Well, what lesson have you learnt from this?" I asked them, hoping for a good answer, I doubt it though.

"That oven's are mean?" asked Alice. I closed my eyes.

"How fast an egg can explode?" asked Jasper. I banged my head against the wall.

"How to make Jacob bang his head?" asked Edward. I went for the drawer that held the kitchen knives, but before I could get there,

"That oven's are not toys," said Rose quickly. I turned and said,

"Thank you. Now wait here," I told Alice, Jasper and Edward sternly. They turned into statues. I took off my shoes since they were covered in egg, opened the front door and set them outside. Then I ran up the stairs and grabbed three towels. I went back into the kitchen.

"Edward? Come here," I told him, once he was standing on the small part of the kitchen that didn't have egg on it I wrapped the towel around him, picked him up, ran upstairs and dumped him in the bath.

"Stay," I told him. He grinned back at me. I rolled my eyes and went down for Jazz.

"Jazz, you next," again, once he was on the line I wrapped the towel around him, picked him up, ran upstairs and dumped him in the bath beside Edward.

"Stay," I told them both. Then ran down for Alice.

"Alice?" I called and she walked over. I wrapped the towel around her, picked her up, ran up the stairs and set her in her parents' bathroom bath.

"Rose!" I called. She ran up the stairs and into her parents' bathroom where I was standing next to the bath.

"Could you give Alice a bath while I deal with the boys?" I asked, she nodded and I left. I went back into the kid's bathroom, set a towel on the floor and set Edward and Jasper onto the towel.

"Just make sure you don't touch anything," I told them while I ran the bath. Once it was full and at the right temperature Edward and Jasper stripped and hopped in.

"You uh, okay to bath yourselves?" I asked them, a little uncomfortable.

"Of course we are, how old do you think we are? Four?" Jasper asked, washing the egg off his face.

"Good, just get into your PJ's once you done and come on downstairs. Call if you need anything," I told them and left, shutting the door behind me. I went downstairs to start cleaning up the kitchen and at least try to get rid of the smell when something stopped me in my tracks. Nessie was sitting in the middle of the kitchen giggling with delight as she threw the raw egg up in the air, covered in egg and to top it all, she was naked.

That's what Carlisle meant, I suddenly recalled my father telling me baby stories. He once told me that when I was just out of diapers I used to run up the street naked, most kids did though so I wasn't the only one. It's a phase every kid goes through, but it had to be today that Nessie started that phase, didn't it? Please kill me. I went upstairs, grabbed another towel and went back downstairs to grab Nessie and get Rose to give her a bath. Getting Nessie was going to be harder than getting Alice, Edward and Jasper. At least they knew when to come, but Nessie was having too much fun with the egg, she'd never come over.

"Nessie?" I called, sitting on the living room floor, hoping to get her attention. She didn't even look up; I tried again, "Nessie?" Nope, I'd have to go to her, oh joy. I stood up and carefully made my way over to Nessie, the floor was slippy. I made it about half-way before… wham, Jacob fell over. Nessie just laughed at me. I tried to stand up but it was almost like being on an ice rink, made of eggs. As soon as I got up, I fell right back down again. At this rate I'd still be trying to get Nessie away from the eggs by midnight, it was already 8pm.

"Come on Ness, help me out here," I said to her, trying to get up for the second time. She ignored me of course and continued to play with the eggs all over the floor. I managed to get up this time and take a few more steps towards Nessie only to fall down again. I tried getting up again and managed to wrap Nessie in a towel and pick her up. Then I turned and saw five shocked little faces staring at me.

"Oh, um… hi," I said, and then I fell. I managed to shield Nessie from the fall by holding her in my left arm while I twisted so I would fall on my right. My hand hit the floor in a funny angle, sending pain shooting up my arm. At least Nessie was alright, she even giggled. The other five laughed along with her.

"Rose, could you take Nessie to the bath?" I asked, trying to hide the pain in my voice, but it didn't work too well. The laughing cut off. It wasn't that painful, just a real nuisance, and a bit painful, well I'll tell you this much, there was enough pain for it to show in my voice, but not enough pain for me to being swearing in agony (which I wouldn't as the kids would pick it up and I'd have some explaining to do to Carlisle and Esme about how their kids knew swear words). Rose took Nessie from me and ran upstairs. I managed to get up in sitting position using my left hand, and then I held my right hand in my left. I was completely covered in egg now; there was egg in my hair, stuck to my clothes, in my shoes ECT… It'll wash off, but it's the smell I'm worried about.

"Em, put on a DVD or something for Alice, Edward and Jasper," I said and Emmett immediately grabbed Alice by the wrist and set her on the sofa, Edward and Jasper followed. He put on "Finding Nemo" and that was Alice, Edward and Jasper happy. Once the DVD was running Emmett came back over to the kitchen and watched me for a bit. I was still deciding what to do.

"Em, do you think you could call 911?" I asked, giving him a chance to refuse. Emmett grabbed the phone and called 911. When he got off the phone he said,

"They're sending an ambulance, it'll be here in around 5minutes," he said.

"Thanks," I replied.

Rose came downstairs with Nessie in her PJ's. Nessie waddled over to the sofa and started watching finding Nemo while Rose opened the door for the ambulance people. Two familiar people walked in.

"Hi Mike," I said recognizing his voice. From the doorway Mike looked over and saw me sitting in the middle of an egg covered kitchen with my legs crossed.

"Hey Jacob," he said coming over with Jess, the other ambulance person, "You're conscious this time." I smiled, last time they treated me I was unconscious, I doubt they thought I'd remember them.

"What seems to be the trouble?" Jess asked, looking around the egg covered kitchen. Both Mike and Jess seemed reluctant to come into the kitchen in fear of getting covered in egg. I tried standing up so they wouldn't have to come over and Emmett jumped in to help me.

"Thanks," I said, surprised. He helped me to me feet and I walked towards Mike and Jess, stopping just before the floor was clean.

"Let's take a look at your hand," said Jess.

Turns out it was only staved, whatever that means. I just had a wear a bandage thing with a metal thing in the middle of it, which made it very hard to move my wrist, but it hurt when I moved it so I didn't move it at all. I thanked them of course before they left, and while they were here Nessie decided she didn't want to wear clothes anymore and striped. Rose made her put her clothes back on though, Mike and Jess just laughed.

Nessie started to yawn around 9:30pm, I was surprised she managed to stay awake for so long. I left the kids to watch the end of Finding Nemo while I scooped up Nessie and took her upstairs. I walked into her nursery, the same nursery that all the Cullen kids had when they were little, maybe with different wallpaper though. Nessie had Winnie the pooh wall paper on the walls, one of those little hangy down things that hung over the cot, it was Winnie the pooh too, a plain wardrobe, a changing table and lots of cuddly toys. She had a huge bear sitting by her window, I mean huge as in half the size of 5ft9 me (I was tall for my age). Nessie was already half-asleep in my arms. I looked down at her; she was smiling up at me, her eyes drooping. I was almost tempted to not set her down, just o let her sleep in my arms. I guess that's what a parent feels like. I reluctantly put her into her cot and wrapped the blanket around her. I watched her for a moment, and then turned to my left and saw a little music box. I opened it and a soft lullaby came from it. A little ballerina went round and round, it was enough to make my head spin. By the time I looked back, little Nessie was already asleep, cuddling her favourite toy wolf. I watched her for a moment, she looked so peaceful. There was a curl of bronze coloured hair in her eye so I gently moved it, careful not to wake her. I watched her for a moment more before leaving quietly, and gently closing the door behind me. Maybe this weekend wouldn't be as bad as I think it'll be.

There was a crash from downstairs; I quickly checked on Nessie, she was still asleep. Whew,

"Whoopies," I heard a voice from downstairs.

"Do you think Jake will notice?" Emmett asked.

"No, I'm sure Jake won't notice a huge hole in the wall Emmett," Rose said.

"No?" Edward said.

"Of course he will!" Rose replied.

"Oh you were being sarcastic," Alice said.

"No duh!" Rose retorted.

"Do we have any sellotape?" Jasper asked

"Hehe, sellotape…" Emmett said.

"EMMETT!" four voices shouted.

I take that back, this weekend will be a nightmare. After all, I'm babysitting Hell.

This chapter sort of took a life of its own in a way, so I can't take credit for it :) I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway. Please review and let me know what you think, Thanks.