A/N: Apologies for the rather random chapter in the middle of the week. This was due to the fact that I had originally planned on posting this chapter on Friday, but due to it being in the same scene and setting as the prior chapter (just with a different character, James', POV) I decided to post it up! Chapter 5: The Bad Feeling will still be posted this upcoming Friday (November 3rd) so don't you worry!

Happy reading, happy writing!

~Konfessionist, signing out

July 13, 2268 (cont'd)

"I'll send her down momentarily, Jonas." James said into the intercom next to the diner door, releasing the button as he looked to where his little girl (who wasn't so little anymore) sat with Amata at the back booth.

Butch's friends, Wally and Paul, left barely a moment after Gomez hauled the DeLoria boy out of the diner and things had been quiet and cheery since. Alphonse left shortly after, and Lucy was speaking with Stanley at the bar counter—no doubt about the water purifier, seeing as how quietly they were talking, and how Stanley fidgeted on his stool. The handyman fixed it without a problem but the topic still made him obviously uneasy; like the purifier downstairs could hear him somehow and would soon break again just to spite him.

James briskly walked towards his daughter to catch a bit of the conversation she was having with her best friend as they shared her sticky roll. A red baseball cap, her birthday gift from Stanley, was perched atop her head.

"I really can't believe Butch tried to hit you! I mean, I know that this is Butch we're talking about, but today's your birthday! And with all these people around! He's sure got some nerve."

"It's just how Butch is, I guess..." Winona shrugged, her mind obviously somewhere else as she idly bit into her half of the pastry and chewed slowly, too occupied to enjoy it.

"You're not still worried about hurting him, are you?" Amata asked accusingly with a raised brow.

"What if I broke his hand?"

"He deserved it and you know it. He's such an idiot..."

"Winona," James called as he came up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Jonas just paged me—he'd like you to come down to the reactor level."

"The reactor level?" She repeated, blinking curiously as she straightened up in her seat curiously. "What for?"

"I suppose you'll have to ask him when you get there." He chuckled and nodded his head to the door. "Now get going. We wouldn't want to keep him waiting."

James watched as Winona nodded, climbing off of her booth without another question, leaving the remainder of her half of the sweet roll for Amata to polish off. Once she was out the door with the troubled look about the DeLoria boy still on her face, he watched through the window as Beatrice cheerily greeted her; a big, almost dazed grin was on her face as she spoke with the birthday girl, handing her a holotape to plant into her new Pip-Boy. No doubt another one of her—... artistic poems.

From the moment James met her, when she generously offered to help him raise Winona until she was out of diapers, he knew she was a strange one.

"My dad's gonna be super mad if he ever finds out about the present you're giving her, Mr. Parker." Amata pointed out through a mouthful of the chewed up pastry.

"I know—but what your father doesn't know won't hurt him, don't you think?" He gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't you worry about it. If he were to ever find out about it, I'll take full responsibility. You have nothing to worry about."

"Thanks," She breathed out a sigh of relief, still chewing until she was able to swallow and then continued. "You know she's probably just gonna take it apart anyways, right?"

He chuckled and nodded, looking back to the window to see that Winona had continued on her way to the reactor level. Beatrice came in just then, going to the bar to see if there was any cake left, but only saw the remnants of it being mopped away by Andy off the floor and counter.

"I know. It's just in her nature." James responded before making his way to the door. "Now, I have to go and give her her birthday present. Thank you for all your help, Amata—the party was wonderful."

"It was nothing! Bye, Mr. Parker!"

James strode out of the cafeteria, through the halls, and to the staircase that led down to the reactor level with hands tucked into the pockets of his jumpsuit. He thought about how far he had come with his daughter; about taking the trek from the Jefferson Memorial all the way to Vault 101, and how it was a terrifying experience even with Brotherhood of Steel soldier, Cross, accompanying them. The locals sometimes liked to take pot shots at anyone allied with the Brotherhood, and having a baby that screamed constantly was difficult to manage at night (or if they were trying to keep a low profile, otherwise). They could do nothing but walk, even through the night when they were supposed to rest, because his fear kept him from feeling exhausted, or starved, or needing to stop for a bathroom break. The fear of being unable to keep his child alive kept his aching legs from buckling at the knees and causing him to collapse into the dust, carrying his swaddled baby girl... that was until they arrived in Megaton, where Cross forced him to stop and rest. They were tacking in the sniper's nest at the front gate when they entered back then—and he wondered what else changed about the city in his time away.

He thought often of the above, with a certain surreal feeling that everything above ground stopped like Vault 101 was a massive time capsule; preserving everything he left behind above ground, where it'd lie in wait for his return to set things in motion again.

James vividly remembered the bar they rented an upstairs room at, when they came inside Megaton—it was an Irishman by the name of Colin Moriarty, who was an untrustworthy sort that seemed like a giant walking rat in a leather vest. As sleazy as Moriarty was, he was an undeniable fountain of valuable information when a proper toll was slid across the counter (James' was in the form of several bottles of scotch over a handful of dark days). He only wanted to get to the border and pass over into Virginia back then, and who could say where they would have been right now, if it wasn't for the barman having pity when James drunkenly recounted Catherine's death... and, in turn, told the grieving and widowed father about Vault 101 down the road.

"No one e'er goes in—an' the people that came out? Well… they ain't 'round anymar. The world ain't a place fer e'ryone, 'yeh know. Imagine gettin' in'ta a neighborhood like that, 'ey? Couldn't think o' anywhere safer out here for yer little anklebiter."

James had forgotten all about Virginia by the time the conversation concluded, and he pressed on the next morning, despite his hangover, with the decision of taking a chance on Vault 101. Alphonse was reluctant at first and absolutely refused to let either of them in—for good reason, of course—and he wouldn't listen until he heard Winona's excruciating cries and saw her on the door cameras. Coupled with James' promises of being an upstanding citizen, and practiced doctor, in Vault 101's society, Alphonse couldn't turn them away. The door was opened after a deal was struck and he was personally escorted up to the Overseer's office by Security for documentation.

Back then Alphonse was a somewhat admirable leader. He occasionally suffered from a case of 'power trip', but James believed that the man meant well.

Once things were settled, life in the vault went on swimmingly; he was liked by the residents and accepted as one of their own, he made friends and loyal confidantes, he did good work in the clinic that was positively recognized, and good food and clean water was stupidly accessible. There wasn't a single trouble to be worried over and Winona was happy, healthy, and safe. It was the paradise he and Catherine had always dreamed of... until the second year mark when he had to diagnose Alphonse's wife, Mrs. Nadia Almodovar, with Wilson's disease—and it was already too late for them to do anything for her. Even if it had been caught sooner, the vault didn't hold the proper tools or medicine necessary to treat the overwhelming build up of copper in her organs. They could only make her comfortable until she succumbed to her illness.

When she died, and the entirety of the vault sat in the atrium during her funeral, relaying old stories and fond memories, James went to Alphonse to offer his condolences—and saw in the man's eyes that he wasn't ever going to be the same.

He was broken.

Soon after the funeral, the accusations started. At first they were only frightened rumors ushered by vault gossips, until days later when the Overseer was directly spitting it like acid insults in his face. He was being framed by Alphonse, where it was claimed that James was the reason why Nadia died, and not because of some 'genetic defect'. In Alphonse's anguish he blamed James for bringing into the vault some 'foreign disease' that infected her, and refused to believe anything he said about the matter—either as a doctor or as a fellow mourning widower. It was heartbreaking to watch a dance he knew all too well—one that he couldn't cope with on good days and remedied with numbing amounts of scotch on bad days—and he was reliving the death of his beloved Catherine all over again. From that day onward Alphonse had gone from a well-to-do Overseer to a supreme dictator that suffocated the residents with his 'we are born in the vault and we die in the vault' propaganda; and the reason why James wasn't kicked back out was because he was a fantastic doctor (and the only doctor), and the Overseer didn't want to jeopardize the vault again by reopening the door.

Until that fight with Alphonse, he had been performing small scale experiments on the vault's water purifier for Purity—maddened by trying to figure out where it all went wrong, and the accusations caused his experiments to be permanently axed. Soon after that, Jonas was placed in the clinic after he passed his apprenticeship testing, and was sent as a 'watch dog' to keep the doctor in line. James was plagued with regret almost daily about leaving Project Purity to rot in what felt like a second failure to the cause, and it made him question if he made the right decision in leaving. Of course, he couldn't allow his daughter to grow up in such an unforgiving place like the wasteland, and despite Butch and his friends and the harsh Overseer, she was definitely much safer in the vault—safer than she would have been outside with the hostile creatures, the illnesses, and the slavers and raiders and mutants... yes, she was much safer in Vault 101.

As long as she's careful with her inventions, he thought with a little smile and a chuckle as he came into the generator room where Jonas and Winona stood together. They excitedly talked about her officially becoming a grown up with her showing off her Pip-Boy, and Jonas in turn was revealing some of its nifty features that he discovered with his over the years. He playfully pulled the bill of her hat down over her eyes when James entered the room, sending her into a giggling fit where she slapped Jonas' tickling hands away from her.

"I wanted to give you your surprise after you got all your other presents," James explained as she spun around to face him excitedly.

"Wasn't the party my surprise, though?" His child questioned when she managed to straighten out her hat, then gave Jonas a ribbing with her elbow in a sibling-esque gesture. He pulled her hat down over her eyes again in retaliation with a laugh.

"Let's just say this is part two of that surprise." He chuckled and walked to the door where the firing range had been set up just the night before. Winona obediently followed him, Jonas falling in step at her side with her eyes coming upon the rotating targets, standing at attention.

"I figured that if you were old enough to get a Pip-Boy and take on vault responsibilities, then you're certainly old enough for the present I got you—" James explained as he went to the overturned locker that acted as the range's barricade, and plucked up the BB gun that was placed there, turning and handing it to her. "Your very own BB gun. Of course, it's a little old, but nothing a bit of persistence and some spare parts couldn't fix."

"I—a gun, dad?" Winona asked uncertainly as she carefully took the BB gun from his possession, looking up to him. "But aren't guns dangerous? And what about the Overseer—won't he be mad if he finds out?"

James came down to one knee so he was eye-level with her. "You don't have to be afraid of guns, sweetheart. I know they're scary because of what they can do—they can be dangerous if they're not used properly, or if you're acting careless with them—so never misuse it and always treat it with respect, alright?"

She nodded and looked back down at the BB gun with the same uncertain look in her eyes. "Alright."

"Now, the rules for your new gun are the same as with any of your new projects. No taking it apart, as you can imagine it has a lot of small pieces in it. You are not allowed to modify it, no playing or tinkering with it after lights out, and most important of all—remember that having a gun is a big responsibility, and it's not a toy, so use it responsibly. You are not to aim it at another person, even jokingly, and if you ever want to shoot it you have to come here. Do you understand me?"

Winona nodded, clutching the weapon in her small hands. "Yes, daddy. I understand."

"Good," He kissed her forehead and straightened up. "Rules are meant to keep you safe—"

"—and they're meant to keep everyone else safe from my inventions," She finished for him, smiling cheekily and he clapped a hand down on her shoulder to lean in where he was eye-level with her.

"Happy birthday, pumpkin... I'm proud of you." James spoke as she lunged at him in a tight hug, which he gladly reciprocated with his hand brushing over her hat and hair. "I love you, my little darling."

"I love you, too, dad." She murmured against his shoulder where her face was buried and pulled back just enough to look up at him with a wide grin.

"We hope you like your present, sport—though let it be said that I did all the heavy lifting here." Jonas joked from behind them, then glanced to James. "We should give her some time to give her pea-shooter a try."

"Of course. Now go ahead, and make your old man proud." He nodded in agreement as he kissed her forehead and stepped back to stand with Jonas, while his daughter occupied herself with her new gun and the targets.

"So, Doc..." Jonas began quietly after Winona was too enthralled with trying to hit the targets (and failing) to notice them. "Everything been okay at the clinic when I'm off from my shift?"

"Of course," He answered, glancing to his assistant. "Why do you ask?"

"You've just seemed to be distracted lately, is all... and you're spending a lot of time in the office after hours, when it's closed." He explained with a vague sense of accusation in his voice, carefully watching the doctor who stared back at him. "Did you get clearance from Harland for all the overtime?"

He's becoming suspicious... you've been careless with your private experiments, James. He thought, while making sure not to break eye contact with Jonas.

The two were on friendly terms since Jonas was 17 and undergoing his apprenticeship to becoming a physician—close to a full year into the program and the only mentor he had before James were old holotapes and medical textbooks barely kept together in their age. The vault's previous physician died from terminal cancer around the time he took his G.O.A.T. exam, so Jonas was left on his own to learn. James only just arrived to the vault and so the young man was taken under his wing. Jonas graduated from the apprenticeship program early with his guidance, and a close friendship was solidified.

Jonas was James' assistant for close to 8 years, now, and James could trust him with just about anything; the secrets of his life before he came to 101 (though he kept Project Purity private), his personal turmoil with Catherine's ghost haunting him nightly… he even trusted Jonas to care for Winona if something were to ever happen to him, where he would become Winona's godfather.

"I've just been trying to keep myself busy with work when I can't sleep." James answered in a half-lie, finally looking away to watch Winona. Her hands were unsteady, causing her fired pellets to completely miss each target. "A lot has been on my mind lately."

"You're thinking about outside again, huh?" Jonas inquired, and the doctor nodded solemnly. "I know I keep saying this, even after how long you and the kid have been down here, but you'll get used to it. We all have to… you need to forget about the world up there."

"How did your mother deal with it, Jonas? Having to go out into the wide-open wasteland, as dangerous as it is, to come back to this?"

"She didn't have a choice when the Overseer at the time called her back... then when she found out she was pregnant with me, she didn't have a choice but to stay. I can tell you she couldn't deal with being stuck down here again, that's for sure—she talked about the sky all the time, and how there were no walls or ceilings keeping her caged." He laughed a little mirthlessly. "The wasteland turned her into a poet, for sure… I miss her. A lot. Wonder what she's been up to since her great escape three years ago."

"Do you think she's ever tried to come back?" James beamed when Winona finally hit a target so it swiveled repeatedly around the pole that anchored it. "That's good, honey! Line up the sights on the gun and focus on your aim. Steady your arms, try not to lock your elbows."

"I don't know. If she's tried, it's not like the Overseer'd let her back in or even tell me or gran—but I don't think she would… she use to talk about how if she ever was able to leave again, she'd look for my dad and they'd get married like he promised her they would. I wish I knew then that she was seriously thinking about escaping to look for him."

"So you think she left to complete unfinished business."

He laughed at the good doctor's wording, bobbing his head a little. "If you can call trying to get married 'unfinished business', than yeah… you have something unfinished up there, too?"

"You could say that." His hands tucked themselves into the pockets of his jumpsuit, looking on to his child again. She was taking his advice and her aim was getting better—but not perfect, as she was still mostly missing the targets. "Yes, you could definitely say that… but I came here because it's what was best for Winona. To keep her safe."

"So don't be so hard on yourself," He replied as he clapped a reassuring hand onto James' shoulder. "And besides, she's growing up to be a smart young lady. You did good, Doc."

But will that be enough to continue living her life down here?... She's inquisitive. Will she ever wonder if the outside was really that dangerous, or could offer her so much more than this life down here? Will she wonder enough to go digging for answers, and when she finds the truth, will she want to leave? Will she be angry with me?

The two adults were pulled out of their conversation by the sound of familiar chittering. Turning their attention to the source, Winona was brightly observing a radroach that weaved around the weighted bases of the shooting targets. It's long antennas twitched at the air as it came to a stop in the center of the range, too small to climb over the barrier to bother them, and not quite having grown into it's aggression, yet.

"I've never seen a radroach so close before... it doesn't look as big as the others. It must be a baby!" They heard her mutter under her breath. She crouched low in front of the overturned locker, the hem of her dress gathered under her knees by an arm tucked under her.

The sight of his daughter pouring her attention onto the troublesome bug caused a fireworks display of warmth to light in his chest. Whenever she was deep into her work or concentrating on new ideas, he marveled at how alike she was to her mother with the passionate glimmer in her eyes. Catherine would have loved that about her… she would have loved everything about their daughter—down to every last freckle and stray hair. James could clearly envision Catherine's excitement at Winona's curiosity, determination, and observant nature, and she would have further encouraged their daughter's passion to become an inventor.

Their family was everything Catherine hoped for while she was still alive.

He personally couldn't describe how delighted he was when Winona brought to him the first blueprints she ever drew; it was going to be a pet she wanted, after seeing a little girl the same age as she playing with one in an old projector slide she found. She named it Gizmo, and of course, Gizmo was not only going to be her loyal friend but her own personal pudding dispenser. She was four at the time and now was quickly growing up and working on a current project of a little robot that would keep her room clean so she'd have more time to work.

James knew she'd bring Gizmo to life eventually, but until then all it was a little trial and error, and a lot of determination and patience.

"Can you take care of it with your gun, sport?" Jonas asked with a smile. "It'd be one less radroach for the vault to have to worry about."

She frowned slightly, looking back to the two adults with her hair in her face. She tucked it back behind her ear. "But I don't wanna kill it... it's only a baby."

"That's alright, pumpkin." James spoke to get her attention and smiled warmly at her. "I'm sure it won't make much of a difference whether or not that one radroach sticks around."

"Alright," She smiled back at him, hopping off the locker to walk to his side. "I don't think I'm very good with the gun, daddy. I kept missing the targets."

"There's no shame in that. Everyone has to start somewhere, don't they?" Winona nodded in agreement. "Perhaps you'll want to practice with it more, and your old man will give you a few pointers. For now how about we go back upstairs and have celebratory pudding cups for your birthday, hmn?"

"...Pudding?" Jonas questioned with a cocked eyebrow. "What happened to the birthday cake?"

"Andy happened," James and Winona replied in unison, causing the clinic assistant to laugh and shake his head.

"I'm sorry I asked," He replied, gesturing towards the door. "But pudding sounds good to me. C'mon, I'll race you to the diner, kiddo."

Winona grinned, quickly rushing to the door but stopped short when she realized the BB gun was still in her hands. Turning back, she gave it to her father for safe keeping and then quickly ran out after Jonas towards the stairs, her voice echoing out in the generator room as they raced up the stairwell, a hand clapped down onto her head to hold her cap.

"No fair, Jonas! Your legs are longer than mine!" She cried, causing James to laugh as he set her BB gun against the wall of the firing range. He stopped to idly watch the baby radroach scuttle about the floor before disappearing between two boxes—he'd have to cover that hole so it wouldn't crawl back in. A bigger one could have squeezed through and attacked her.

...She will always need you, James... always.

With that thought in mind, he walked back out and closed the door, following the two back up to the main floor. It wasn't a bitter thought at all, he loved being there for his daughter when she needed him, but it also made him wonder;

Will I ever be able to leave?