Sorry for the screwed up post earlier... dunno how that happened. Hope this one is better! ~ ET

~*~I don't own these characters. I do own the crazy, whacked out mind that put them in this situation. ~*~

ET Note: Huge thanks to BetterInTexas for being the bestest pre-reader, like, ever; Huge thanks to my 2 bad-ass betas, Teresa Segrest & MrsAlderaan - you both rock my socks; Huge thanks to Mist... I look at that banner WAY too much. Like, WAY too much. ;)

Oh... and HUGE thanks to you if you're reading this. 'Cause what is writing without readers?

On with the show…

Chapter 4

Jasper POV

Edward still writhed in pain, in pieces, on the ground. His screams of agony were music to my ears; and that music was right up there with Skynard's performance at the Ozark Music Festival in '74. The Swans, now that was a different story all together. Their cries wrenched at my soul, especially hers. Sad enough the chief had this fate, but even worse that this slip of a girl who hadn't yet really lived, was destined to the same fate as her father.

Suddenly, the very unexpected sound of Emmett's loud guffaw caught the entire room completely off guard.

"Shave Charlie, eh? What part of Charlie are you planning on shaving, little sis?" Emmett grinned slyly at Alice, before slowly turning to me, a confused look on his previously gleeful face. "Er, um, J, are you, um… how is it that you aren't totally tearing shit up right now, Bro? I mean, it'd be one thing if my Rosie wanted to shave another girl, but a dude…"

I held my hand up, halting Emmett's confused query. "Emmett, I think I know which part of Charlie Alice was referring to. Besides, we just got done tellin' ya'll, I love her, always will, but this separation for us is only gonna work because we're not true mates. Now, that said, I'd probably prefer Alice not go pecker huntin' today. For one, I hear tell peckers ain't in season for a spell and for another thing, I doubt Alice has her pecker tags yet, anyway. Doubt we'll be cock blocking each other, but I'd prefer to think she wouldn't jump a changing, vulnerable man. It's one thing to take him to a barber shop, it's another to do some damned 'manscaping' on him. That type of shit needs to stay in the beauty parlor."

I shuddered, recalling some of Alice's futile efforts in the 1990's to get me to shave 'designs' into what little body hair I have. Don't know how it would've turned out, 'cause I'm fast and I don't sleep, so she never got the drop on me.

"I'll head up and take over with a quick rinse and change of clothes when you're done playing barber, Allie Gal. Emmett, grab some clothes for the chief. He's already a bit thicker around the middle than I am and I'm sure the change is only going to enhance his muscle structure. We just don't know how much yet. Esme, Rose, could ya'll take care of Bella?"

Rose nodded, having just come in the garage from preparing the jeep for our imminent departure. On her way to the couch to help Esme, my favorite sister 'accidentally' tripped on Edward. It was the damnedest thing. Her foot 'somehow' came forward with a bit too much force and she connected with his blood streaked cheek, cracking his marble skin instantly. Good thing for those vampire reflexes; she might have face-planted.

Esme scooped Bella up effortlessly, if a bit awkwardly due to the locked knees and thrashing arms of the changing girl. Seeing that Esme had the girl, Rose headed back towards the stairs. This time she 'tripped' on the back of Ed's head. His face jerked forward and the crack of his chin on his chest was audible. Apparently, Rose's haste was causing a temporary klutziness.

"Emmett, I'm gonna pull the whammy from our dear brother and see if I can't give these two a time out from some of the pain. Figure this could be a good time for a little one on one for you and Eddie. Brotherly bonding time and shit like that." Emmett rolled his shoulders and looked at Edward after a quick but thankful nod in my direction.

I followed the masculine sounds of the chief's anguished cries to the bathroom that Alice & I shared to find him lying on the floor, Alice leaned close to his ear, whispering while gently cupping his cheeks. I paused and took a moment to hang on to the only positive emotions in the entire house, the emotions of my friend, companion and now, former lover as she urged her new and eternal love to remember. Remember everything. Having retained absolutely no memories of her human life through the burn of the change, memories were a very sensitive subject to her. She was already protecting her mate, even from emotional pain.

After a brief kiss to each eyelid and a lingering kiss to his forehead, Alice turned to me. "I'm going to let his head go. Get into a good position and hold him still. I'll go get the supplies. I'd rather do this without any more bloodshed. I know he would heal, but the thought of…"

Quickly, I interrupted, "I know, Allie Gal. I know."

I couldn't imagine the torture Alice was going to endure until she was able to join us. I'd known that she found her mate; I'd been able to tell from the moment I felt her run past 'Operation Wish Bone.' Would have been nice to have more of a heads up, though. If she'd known, she could have avoided touching him and would have made the separation a bit easier.

"Alice, I'm sure there's a joke here about how many vampires it takes to shave a thrashing newborn, but since I don't know the punchline, I'm not sure how to play this. I can immobilize his body, but his mouth is another story." Suddenly, an epiphany. "Hey… what about that old ball gag…"

"Jasper Allan Whitlock Hale! I will not put that in my… my… in Charlie's mouth!" Alice stuttered indignantly.

"Al, we only used it a few times…" I tried to mention with a casual air. Not really the moment for that kind of sentiment, apparently. The death glare that was aimed in my direction made me immensely glad that her mate was between us and leaned back against my chest, allowing me to trap his arms and legs with my own. Since I was more bound up than a granny outta prune juice, holding his mouth closed wasn't an option.

Alice glared at me a moment more before rushing out the door and down two flights of stairs into the basement. I could hear her rummaging in the storage area, muttering a bit and then squeaking 'eureka' before bounding back up both flights of stairs and back into the room. Before I completely registered what she was doing, Alice had shoved a yellow tennis ball into Charlie's mouth, stilling his jaws.

Pushing back Charlie's head towards mine with her right hand, Alice effectively trapped his head between her hand, my head and the wall behind me. Using dexterity only seen in vampires, she proceeded to lather the chief's face with her left hand. Perhaps she was a barber in her human life?

"Good bye, Charlie, Jr. You've had a good run, but your time has come. Charlie will miss you, but ultimately I know he'll understand why you had to go." Alice mockingly lowered her head in a moment of silence and then started to shave his upper lip.

I was unable stop the chuckle from escaping my lips. Only my family, my brother Peter included, could make me smile in a situation like this. This was a cluster fuck if ever I saw one, and yet I still found my spirits lifted, if only for a moment. I felt the brief moment of amusement that emitted from my family in the house. This sort of moment, however fleeting, would be my rock in this ordeal. We were headed for some serious shit and any brief moments of levity would be nice, 'cause it felt like my emotions done got rode hard and put away wet.

I could hear the sounds of Esme and Rose bathing Bella, kindly urging her to 'remember' as well. Unfortunately, there was little that we actually knew about the Swan's lives. We knew that they had each other, so that's what the ladies told them; the ladies were all doing a fine job of coaching our newest family members through their change. Of course nothing would ever distract fully from that level of pain. As for me, trying to help the pain of two changing vampires was really taking its toll.

"Done. Oh, better than I even imagined. Give him a quick rinse, Jazz. I'll go check on Bella," Alice said, placing a gentle, quick kiss on the top of the chief's head.

After I quickly filled the bath tub and gave the chief a quick cleansing, my phone began to ring. Poor fella was writhin' all around in his birthday suit. I felt for him, I really did. If Alice wasn't pecker huntin', then, I sure as shit wasn't. Didn't need to see that shit.

"What?" I growled, my patience fading by the second.

"Well, nice to hear your voice too, fuck face. Maybe me and the missus won't be seein' you in a bit after all." My brother, Peter; should've been expecting a call from the know-it-all bastard.

"Pete. You don't know how good it is to hear your voice right now. Say, you and your lovely bride wouldn't want to, oh, I don't know - raise a couple of newborns with me for a while, would ya? Good ol' Fuckward decided to have a fuck up beyond major proportions and seems like we're up shit creek without a paddle."

"Oh, well, then as luck would have it, you owe me one, brother. I'm just down the road a spell, Char's behind me. We just bought a Durango and an Explorer. We decided - what the hell - let's have a race, Mopar vs. Ford kinda thing. We done checked out your place over yonder in Tahsis, too. Thing is wrecked. Damned blue spruce fell through the roof, lots of water damage and even a few critters. Even though you might enjoy the takeout, figured sweat equity wasn't on the docket for your babies. So, we reckon ya'll could come see mine and the missus's new place on Jervis Inlet. Plenty of space and plenty of squirrel huntin' for your young'uns."

Ah, what would I do without this know it all motherfucker? Peter and Charlotte had been my saviors from the Southern Vampire Wars and had been my saving grace and safe harbor in many other ways throughout the course of my existence. Peter, my brother in venom, claimed to not have a gift, but somehow the fucker got sure-fire information from somewhere between his ears and that shit had never failed; looks like he just came through in a pinch again.

"Pete, thanks. You don't know how much this means…"

Peter interrupted, "No, Major, it's you that don't know how much help me and Char are gonna be. Ya'll will be more than happy to have us around. Got yourself a couple of hellions there. Gonna be fun." I heard his chuckle as he disconnected the call.

I quickly dressed the chief in clothes Emmett left and carried him down the stairs just as Rose carried the girl down. The sound of Pete and Char's new vehicles coming down the drive was a welcome one. We quickly loaded The Swans into separate vehicles - the Chief in the Durango with me and the girl with Pete and Char in the Explorer - and hit the 101 heading towards Seattle. While taking a ferry would be the quickest option, the screams from our vehicles would cause too much of a ruckus. So even though our time on the road would be longer, at least we would be more low profile.

Now, we drive. Drive and wait.

ET Note:

I always have at least one extra chapter available at betterintexasfiction dot ning dot com (you know the drill - remove spaces & replace "dot" with a "."). As the site's founder, Jason, was my push to finally put my writing out there, I'll always post there first (by a few days, at least). I'm loyal & crap like that. Chapter 6 is going to be posted there as soon as my wonderful betas are done with it & I combine their edits to put it out for public consumption. I'm hoping to work on (if not finish) chapter 7 today... and I already have chapter 8 (maybe it'll be chapter 9, we'll see) done (don't ask).

Plus... if you DO come and check out betterintexasfiction, then you can check out the other kick-ass authors over there (some of 'em you're familiar with already, I'm sure!). If you're not familiar with the work of betterintexas here in FF, you're missing out. His stuff is pretty rad & his writing kinda inspires mine, so if you like my stories, his are WAY better. Plus he's got, like, way more than I do (and some kick ass original work available on his site).

Okay... I only have a tiny bit of time to write before football begins... GO SEAHAWKS.

~Happy Sunday~

~ET