I'm posting the next chapter tonight because, I'm not going to lie, the negative reviews are starting to get to me. I understand all your problems with the story. Yes, Kate is a bad character and she has acted like a bitch to Castle. But I never planned on her seeing herself as being the innoncent one, she knows she's done wrong. It's a story with drama in it, did you expect all characters to be perfect? When I started this story, I didn't go into it to deep as I usually write without much planning. Now I've planned how this is going to work and this chapter does focus on Kate realizing how wrong she has been. The main focus of the story will be them working it out. I'm not dragging this out, its building up for the moment. Kate has gotten to know Castle now and she's seeing the other side to him. People make mistakes and learn from them.

From now on if there is any guest reviews that are negative, I will delete them.

If your really that bothered (SPOILER FOR STORY): Kate tells him in the chapter after this and it will be a hell of an argument. Castle won't forgive her easily.

Chapter 4

It was already late into the night. Kate sighed, knowing Anna would be settling down for sleep now, her favourite bed time story being read to her. The case was too big, a body found frozen solid that lead to other cases from past years that haven't been solved. She had gone over to Castle's for the first time, finding the whole situation awkward, but she didn't know the answer.

It had lead them over to Rodger's house the following day, where the two of them had finally found an answer that lead them somewhere. What was painful was, a part from staying working late, Kate ended up having to arrest a man, taking him away from his little girls.

"No, sweetie, I just wanted to make sure I said good night," Castle listens to the over end. "You got it. Strawberry happy face pancakes on me. Mwah. Later." Hearing the conversation Castle shared with his daughter pained her. He was a good father to Alexis. Kate had thought he was just a cocky jackass, but now that she saw this other side to him, she was wrong. Every time she saw Castle with her daughter or him talking about Alexis, she knew she should tell him. But why wasn't she?

"Alexis missed me." Castle said, sitting next to Kate.

"I always get calls from Anna. Especially on cases like these when I'm working late." Kate told him, the guilt twisting in her stomach. She should tell him now, but the words wouldn't come out.

"Does she stay with her Dad when you work late?" Castle asked.

Now would be the time to tell him. "No, my dad." He had asked her earlier if her dad was the one that died, why she became a detective. Now he paused. "It was my mom."

A silence rests between them. Kate smiles a sad smile, thankful that Castle didn't press the topic. Waiting, for if she wanted to carry the conversation on. "We were supposed to go to dinner together - my mom, my Dad, and I, and she was gonna meet us at the restaurant, but she never showed. Two hours later, we went home, and there was a detective waiting for us. Detective Raglin. They found her body. She had been stabbed."

"A robbery?" Castle asks.

"No. She still had her money and purse and jewellery. And it wasn't a sexual assault, either. They attributed it to gang violence. Random wayward event. So, just like in Melanie's case, they couldn't think outside the box. So, they just tried to package it up nicely. And the killer was never caught." The words pained her, her eyes flickering to the picture of her daughter on her desk. In these moments, Anna always helped her.

"Why do you wear the watch?" He asked.

"My Dad took her death hard. He's sober now. Five years. So, this is for the life that I saved. And..." She paused taking the necklace of from around her neck. "this is for the life that I lost."

He looked down as Kate put the necklace back on. "So, I guess your Nikki Heat has a back story now, Castle."

He gave her a sad smile. "I don't know, um... I did kind of like the hooker-by-day cop-by-night thing. But, uh, I guess a heavy emotional angle could work, too."

It was late when Kate got in. She checked in on Anna, finding her asleep in bed, surrounded by her cuddly toys. Kate smiled, entering the room to kiss her daughter on the top of her head before leaving. Her dad had gone to bed, leaving Kate alone for the night before she to went to bed.

She pulled out her phone, checking her messages. A message from Lanie caught her attention, apparently they had to talk.

Kate rang her friend, knowing it was still too early for Lanie to be asleep. She picked up after a few rings. "Kate?"

"Who else?" Kate sat on the sofa. "You wanted to talk?"

"This conversation isn't the kind to have before bed, girl." Lanie said down the phone.

"Why? Is it about your current boy?" Kate asked.

"No, it's about your boy and your daughter." Lanie told Kate. A sigh escaped Kate, she really didn't want to have this conversation before bed. In fact, she wanted to avoid this conversation all together.

"He's not my boy," Kate told Lanie. "But perhaps the conversation can wait till the morning."

"Mmmmhmmm," her friend hummed down the phone, to what Kate wasn't sure. They arranged to meet tomorrow, deciding the two girls and Anna could go shopping together on their day off. Kate smiled knowing Anna would love that.

Laying in bed, Kate sighed thinking about what she was supposed to tell her friend tomorrow. She wasn't sure whether she wanted Castle to know or not, but now she was starting to see that it wasn't up to her. Kate may have her reasons why she doesn't want him around, but her little girl had her reasons to want a father around. But what was holding her back?

"Mommy, can I take my bag?" Anna asked as Kate brushed her daughters long hair, deciding to braid it down her back.

"Of course," Kate said. When she had told Anna about the shopping trip, the little girl had danced around the living room, excited for the day. Now even as she sat, her body still bounced, waiting for them to leave.

"Is Mr Lion allowed to come as he's a boy?" She asked.

"I'm sure Mr Lion can join our girly day," Kate said fishing the braid. We were still into dresses, allowing Kate to dress her in a cute green dress with sandles. "Come on then."

Anna picked up her lion bag, putting Mr Lion inside and her handcuffs. "You're not working today, mommy. We'll use my handcuffs if there are any bad guys."

"I don't think there will be any bad guys today." Kate said but smiled. Anna's hand found hers as they left their apartment building.

"No. There could be aliens. Or- or a lion escaped from the zoo!" Anna giggled. Kate stared at her daughter, she could really see Castle in her at that moment. She bit her lip.

"Your planning on arresting a lion?" She asked her daughter with a smile.

Anna giggled again. "No! My handcuffs are too small!"

"What about for the aliens?" Kate asked. They were on the stairway, Anna jumping down each step rather than walking.

"You would need a lot of handcuffs for them," Anna said.

"How many hands does an alien have?" She asked, enjoying her daughters imagination.

"They don't have hands. They have tentacles." Anna informed Kate.

"Like an octopus?" She nodded. "They must be hard to arrest then."

"Not as hard as lions." Anna said.

"I would rather arrest an alien than a lion." Kate said as they reached the lobby.

"So would I." Anna giggled again. When they reached the car, Kate strapped Anna in and then they went to pick up Lanie. The drive was spent listening to the radio, Kate listening more to her daughter singing. Lanie was already waiting outside for them when they arrive.

"Are my favourite girls ready to go shopping?" Lanie asked opening the door.

"Yes!" Anna cheered a little too loudly.

"That's my girl," Lanie said, closing the door and strapping in.

"I have to stop at the precinct quickly to pick up some paperwork," She told Lanie. Kate planned on starting the paperwork tonight, so she could get it done sooner. These late nights had strained her dad and she didn't want him overdoing it.

"Sure." Lanie said knowing Kate too well. Anna decided to ask Lanie whether she would rather arrest an alien or a lion. An eyebrow was raised towards Kate as if she too knew where the imagination came from.

"Are the aliens friendly?" Lanie asked.

"They're the bad guys," Anna said.

"Hmmm. I think I'd rather arrest an alien. Good thing I'm not a cop," Lanie said, making Anna giggle.

"Mommy, can you ask Kevin and Javier?" Anna asked her as they pulled into the precinct car park.

"Javier will go for the lion," Lanie said. Kate raised her eyebrows at her friend, wondering since when she knew Esposito so well.

"I'll ask them," Kate told her daughter. She quickly made her way up the precinct, shaking her head at her daughter. When Anna came up with something like this, she always wanted to know what everyone would choose. Kate couldn't see Esposito or Ryan around, they were probably in the break room. Opening her draws, she pulled out the files she needed and then made her way over.

"That's why you guys were so against me," She paused at the door hearing Castle. "Beckett told you about the weekend?"

"Yeah," Esposito said. "You were an asshole then."

"Your kind of cool now, though," Ryan added.

"Kind of?" Castle questioned. "But I explained to Beckett why I had to leave."

"We know, your daughter broke her arm." Esposito said.

"I went back after, looking for her. I even asked the receptionist, offered money, for Beckett's number or something so I could find her, they wouldn't allow it. Private confidential." Castle said. Kate squeezed her bag closer to her, not believing what she was hearing. He went back for her? He was willing to pay to get hold of her contact details?

"You know she went to one of your signings a couple of months after, right? Said you didn't even recognise her," Ryan said. She would have killed Ryan for telling him that, but she found herself leaning in closer, needing to know.

"She did?" He sounded shocked. "I never notice anyone at the signings. Too many faces. Every Kate that came I had hoped it was her, but after so many I had given up hope."

Kate thought she was going to be sick. All this time he was looking for her, if she had just told him right then and there at the signing, where would they be now? Would they be a happy family? Or would it have ended badly?

"You need to tell her," Esposito said.

Kate pushed through the door, putting a fake smile on her face. "Tell who what?" She asked looking between the three of them. They all simultaneously sipped their coffees.

"I ate Alexis' slice of cheesecake," Castle said.

"Really?" Kate pressed, hopping he would say something.

"What are you doing here? Its you day of, right?" Castle asked changing the topic.

Something sunk inside of Kate. He didn't want to tell her. "I came to pick up files. I'm of shopping with Lanie and Anna now."

"Sounds good." Castle said with a small smile.

"Oh, Anna wants me to ask you: if you had to chose between an alien and a lion, which one would you arrest?" Kate asked.

"Ooo, that's a good one," Castle said thinking hard. "Is the lion hungry? Do the aliens have lasers?"

"I don't know." Kate said.

"Alien," Ryan said.

"Lion. I feel like I could take it." Kate grinned, her friend was right.

"If you plan on being lion's lunch then that's up to you," Ryan said shaking his head.

"But how do you know the aliens don't have lasers?" Castle asked Ryan.

"How do you know they do?" Ryan asked.

"Castle make up your mind, I'm leaving," Kate told him.

"Fine," he paused, thinking. "Aliens. The interrogation would be fun."

"Thank you," Kate rolled her eyes. "Now, goodbye."

When Kate reached the car again, she found both Lanie and Anna singing as loud as they could to the radio. She shook her head, pulling out of the precinct, heading towards the mall.

"Rick and Ryan are aliens. Javier is up for the lion," Kate told Anna.

"I told you," Lanie said.

Anna giggled. "Javier is silly."

They reached the mall, Anna holding both Kate and Lanie's hand as they made their way around the first few shops, swapping between the ladies and kids. Kate smiled as her daughter tried on dresses for them, posing like she was on the runway. She ended up buying a few for her, as well as some other clothing that the girl was needing. Anna was growing so much.

"Oh, if you don't get her this then I will," Lanie said pulling out a small leather jacket for Anna. Kate grinned, it looked just like her brown one.

"It's like yours," Anna told her. "I'll be a real cop with a leather jacket."

Kate smiled, finding her daughters size. She handed it to her, helping her put it on over her green dress. "It's defiantly you." She told her.

"She's a mini you," Lanie grinned, pulling out her phone to take a picture.

Anna giggled, pointing her fingers like a gun. "I'll be your partner, mommy."

"You've always been my partner," Kate smiled at her daughter.

"Really?" The girl wrapped her arms around Kate. "Thank you, mommy!"

"Partners need matching leather jackets, don't they?" Kate said.

"I can get it?" Anna asked in disbelief.

"Were not leaving the store without it," Kate smiled. They paid for the jacket, Anna wanting to wear it. She looked adorable, especially with her lion bag.

"How about we go to that restaurant you like?" Lanie asked Anna. "The one with the play pen."

"Can we?" Anna asked excitedly.

"Yeah," Kate said.

Anna ran in front of them, not going too far ahead. She had hyped herself up, the day out exciting her. They reached the restaurant, Anna choosing what she wanted to eat before disappearing to play. Kate wasn't going to pretend, she knew Lanie wanted to talk now and after what she heard, she wanted to talk to her as well. Before Anna, Kate used to keep everything about her life private, but now she was thankful to have a friend.

"Kate, your my friend and I love you and everything, but when are you going to wake up and see the wrong you're doing?" Lanie asked.

"What?" Kate asked, shocked. She had expected the conversation, but she hadn't expected it to start like this.

"You had your reasons – it was your choice – to keep Anna's father a secret. But, now, you're running out of excuses. You can't keep her a secret from him for much longer."

"I know." Kate sighed.

"Oh? Do you? Then why the hell haven't you told him yet?" Lanie asked.

"I don't know." Kate groaned.

"You don't know?" Lanie didn't believe her.

"I thought back then he was just arrogant jerk, you know? It wasn't like either one of us thought I was going to get pregnant, we had a condom and I took the morning after pill, but it happened." Lanie already knew this, but she felt like explaining could help her understand as well. "He had already moved on from me, forgotten about me until I just overheard him -"

"Wait, what?" Lanie cut in.

She told Lanie what she had overhead, watching the girls eyes widen in understanding. Kate had always thought Castle was the bad guy but now she was realising that it was her.

"Right, that's that, go on," Lanie shook her head, taking a sip of her drink.

"I believed he just used me as a weekend fling. He had already moved on, Gina, the girl he ended up marrying," Kate sighed. "I didn't think he would have been a good father at the time. He was a playboy, a jackass, how could I see him as a father? Do you know how wrong I was? Yes, he still is that guy, but I've seen the other side to him that I never saw. I've seen him with his daughter, listened to him going through the struggles of being a parent and I've seen him with our daughter. If there is such a thing as a perfect father then its him."

"Then why aren't you telling him this?" Lanie asked.

"Be-Because... I'm afraid." Kate whispered.

"Of what?"

"I'm afraid of everything changing. Anna will still have me, but she will have a father who can spoil her, a father who can be there for her. I'm at work full time, sometimes late in the night," Kate felt the tears fall from her eyes. "I know I'm not a perfect mother, I know I'm not always there for my daughter, but he can be."

"And that scares you?" Lanie asked, her hand resting on Kate's arm.

"He's taken Meredith to court, taken custody of Alexis. What if he does the same? He's going to hate me for not telling him," Kate buried her head in her hands.

"You know, you're stupid," Lanie said making Kate look up. "Do you really think he's going to do that?"

"No," Kate said.

Lanie rolled her eyes. "I get why you're afraid. This is going to be a big change in yours and Anna's lives, for Rick, too. You and I both know he's going to be pissed, but he'll move on from it one day."

"I felt so alone before Anna came. She saved me and my dad. I can't lose her, Lanie." Kate told her friend.

"You're not going to lose her. You have to talk to him, tell him what you're afraid of. Talk it out like parents do," Lanie said.

"He's going to hate me," Kate said.

"Maybe, but I doubt that man could ever hate you that much," Lanie squeezed Kate's arm.

"What?" Kate questioned.

She looked up, catching Lanie rolling her eyes again. "We'll save that conversation for another day. Right now, pull yourself together, you have a daughter running over."

Kate wiped the tears from her eyes, putting on a smile as her daughter came running up to the table. She was breathing heavily, her cheeks red and eyes bright from excitement.

"Mommy, I ran so fast," Anna told her.

"Did you?" Kate asked. "Sit down and have a drink."

"Yeah, I ran to the top," her daughter took a massive gulp from her juice. "the aliens were chasing me."

"Did you arrest them?" Kate asked with a smile.

"Not yet," Anna shook her head.

"Were you surrounded?" Lanie asked her.

"Yeah, they had lasers and-and I had to run really fast." Kate shook her head, Anna was reminding her of Castle more every day. She had to tell him, she coudln't keep them away from each other any more, whether she was afraid or not.

I hope now your starting to see. Obviously, you know what's going to happen next. I know Castle will never take Kate to court for custody over Anna, but Kate is just afraid. Next to Castle she doesn't believe she's a good parent. But please don't think I'll let Castle forgive Kate easily, they will argue a lot, he will be really mad and upset, but they both have a daughter at the end of the day. If you don't like the story after Castle finds out then I'm done trying to explain. You either like it or you don't.