Fifteen things that I, Ross Geller, am not allowed to do:
1. Talk about dinosaurs when Joey is around.
2. Tell people that me and Rachel had sex 298 times; 299 if you count the time Emma was conceived.
3. Tell Chandler embarrassing stories from Monica's fat days.
4. Tell Joey that Chandler loves Monica more than him.
5. Go to Joey's soap opera parties.
6. Tell Rachel that we were on a break.
7. Call Mom and Dad and tell them that Monica is pregnant; they will believe me.
8. Make fun of Chandler for watching Miss Congeniality.
9. Eat maple candy.
10. Touch Phoebe's guitar.
11. Tell Joey that he doesn't look like he can play a nineteen-year-old.
12. Tell Chandler that Richard wants Monica back.
13. Touch my eye when Rachel is around.
14. Tell Phoebe that I could kick her ass; she'll prove me wrong.
15. Tell the girls Joey dates about Hugsy.