Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its characters. I am not responsible to any harm you do to yourself or your electronic devices while reading this fic.

Pairings: Zoro x Sanji

xXxXx

"Up." Belle demanded.

Sanji cooed at the little girl and turned the heat on the stove down so he could make his way to the little baby and lift her into his arms.

"Mommy? How come you and daddy don't seem to like each other very much?"

Sanji almost dropped the baby when he heard Nami's voice drift over.

"S-since when did you call me mommy?" Sanji asked, trying to distract the girl from the question.

Nami shrugged, "Everyone else does. Am I not allowed to call you that?"

Sanji frowned, "well..."

Nami's lip began to shake, "That's not fair!" She began sobbing.

"Fine! I'll be your mom too." Sanji groaned. His Nami-swan was now calling him mommy. What has the world come to?

Nami grinned, no tears on her face. Sanji groaned again, she was one hell of an actress. Even at this young age.

"So anyways. Why do you and daddy fight a lot?"

"Well it's not like we're actually together."

Nami ignored that comment, "mommy's and daddy's are supposed to love each other. I always dreamed of what it would be like to grow up with a mommy and daddy instead of just Bellmere and Nojiko. I mean I love them and all but I really just want a real mom and dad, you know?"

Sanji stared at her speechless, "Yeah, I mean-."

Nami continued, "So you and daddy should act more like a mommy and daddy and less like a Sanji and a Zoro," Nami concluded.

"What?" Sanji asked. "A Sanji? Nami, sweetheart, I don't think you understand-,"

Nami glared at him, "No, you don't understand. We," she pointed at the rest of the kids who were gathered just outside the doorway to the kitchen and then pointed to herself, "decided it."

Sanji groaned, "Did you tell Zoro this already?"

"We tried to but he just said to ask you since he was busy."

"Oh yeah? Doing what?" Sanji asked.

"He, Franky and Usopp are going to build a playhouse in the backyard. He was chopping wood with his swords. Its so cool!"

Sanji smiled a bit at that.

"You never agreed to our agreements," Nami said.

"Jeez, even as a kid you knew how to get what you wanted."

Nami grinned at that and stood up straight. Sanji sighed and went back to the stove to make sure nothing was burning. He quickly mixed the sauce and switched the stove off.

"Come on you brats, lets see if Zoro's done yet so we can get ready for dinner." Sanji decided as he poured a glass of water for Zoro and the kids.

Nami eagerly led Sanji outside and jumped up and down yelling for Zoro's attention.

Zoro was on the ground hammering a neatly cut piece of wood onto a wooden base. Franky and Usopp were carrying a long wooden board towards Zoro. They looked up at Nami's voice.

Zoro put down the hammer just in time for Luffy to jump on him and wrap his arms around his neck.

"Geez, careful there Luffy." Zoro huffed.

Sanji walked over and offered Franky and Usopp a glass of water. "A playhouse, huh?"

Zoro grunted and drained the water Sanji handed him. He wiped his face with the back of his hand and gave the glass back. "Thanks," He grunted.

Sanji started to smile but he hid it with a scowl. "Dinner's almost ready. Go wash up."

Nami gave him a stern look that seemed to say 'be polite'.

Sanji bit back a groan. "Zoro, would you please come inside for dinner? It's almost ready." He growled out.

Nami frowned, "Better but next time maybe you should add in a 'sweetheart' or 'honey'. A cute and affectionate pet name like that."

Zoro was grinning at Sanji causing the blond to have some less than nice thoughts about punching the marimo in his stupid face.

"Just get ready," Sanji growled as he stormed back into the house.

Zoro motioned to the kids and went inside with the two mini engineers. Sanji sighed and looked at the little house Zoro started from the window. It was actually pretty cool looking and Sanji was rather impressed that such an idiot could actually make something like this. He assumed Franky and Usopp did a lot of the planning out and Zoro was just doing the building part.

He went back inside and served everyone their portion before sitting down to eat. After all the kids ate he had them run around the outside of the house until they were tired. He then bathed them and sent them to bed with a story about Enies Lobby. After they were all lying down with their eyes closed he switched off the light and gently shut the door.

Zoro was in the kitchen scrubbing the pans. His back was towards Sanji so the blond was able to see the marimo's muscles move. It was quite a sight. Not that Sanji would ever admit so.

"It's weird. You know, being so domestic," Zoro started, startling Sanji. "I had never been in a domestic situation before in my life."

Sanji pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and opened the door. He went out and sat on a little pile of woods. He lit the cigar and put it in his mouth, taking a deep drag. He heard Zoro finish up in the kitchen and rattle in the fridge before making his way smell of alcohol reached him as he felt Zoro sit down next to him.

"How about you?"

Sanji took a drag, "What about me?"

"How are you holding up?"

Sanji took a deep breath. If he was surprised by Zoro's question he didn't show it.

After a while Sanji leaned back on his hands and looked up at the stars. "I don't really know." He admitted.

Zoro didn't push him. He put down his empty beer bottle and laid down on his back, his hands behind his head. He looked up at the stars and sighed. The sky was beautiful tonight and clear. For once since this entire situation began Zoro felt peaceful.

"I've never really had a constant domestic life either." Sanji said suddenly. "I mean my parents died when I was little and I became a busboy from the moment I could walk. Then of course the cruise I was on was attacked by pirates and Zeff took me in."

Sanji hugged his legs closer to him and frowned at the memories.

"Cruise?" Zoro asked.

Sanji hesitated for a second. "Um… Yeah. When I was, like, ten I was in a cruise ship that was attacked by pirates. Everyone on both ships died except for me and the pirate ships captain."

Zoro frowned at that but didn't say anything.

"He saved my life and we found an island and we almost starved to death and it was the worst and best thing that had ever happened to me. The worst thing that ever happened to me because that was the day I lost everything I knew. Everything I had from my parents and my previous life were all destroyed and washed away and I was left with nothing. It was the best thing that ever happened to me because I got a whole new life. I learned to cook and fight and defend myself and it was all because of Zeff."

Zoro raised an eyebrow at that. "Zeff was the captain that attacked and saved you?"

Sanji nodded.

"Hmm. Who would have thought. You have a past that is more messed up than mine." Zoro said after a while.

Sanji couldn't help but smile at that. He laughed for a second and shoved Zoro with his shoulder. Zoro smiled and sat up so he could shove Sanji back.

"So what's your story?"

"My story?" Zoro asked.

"Yeah. What happened to you to mess you up so badly that you became a pirate?" Sanji asked.

"Nothing really. I mean sure I never had parents but I grew up in a dojo with a lot of other orphans and kids and I had a fatherly figure. Then one day my best friend passed away and I vowed that I would be the greatest swordsman ever."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Sanji frowned.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault. Anyways, after she died I devote even more of my life to training. I began hunting down pirates and then I just couldn't get back home."

Sanji frowned at that, "Why not?"

"I-um kind of forgot the way home."

Sanji stared at him for a long moment before grinning, "You got lost, didn't you?"

Zoro scowled at that. "Shut up."

Sanji laughed at that and Zoro couldn't help but smile back. It just felt right.

"See. I told you. At this rate they will be popping out babies in no time." A loud whisper met their ears.

Zoro and Sanji turned to see an innocent looking Nami smiling at them. A guilty looking Usopp and a grinning Luffy behind her.

"You guys should be in bed," Sanji accused.

Nami just grinned, "I couldn't sleep."

Luffy ran up to Sanji and settled in his arms. Sanji smiled at him and stroked his hair.

Nami giggled.

Usopp settled into Zoro's lap and looked up. "What does Nami mean by soon you will be popping out babies? I thought babies were given to people by white birds."

"Really? Makino told me that babies grew on trees." Luffy said. "Although some of the pirates who visited the bar told me that babies were the result of something called 'fucking' and they came out of women's butts but that just sounds ridiculous."

"That is ridiculous. They don't come out of women's butts. They come out of women's vaginas." Nami said.

"What's a vagina?" Luffy asked innocently.

"I'll show you." Nami said as she began to pull down her pants. Sanji grabbed her arm and stopped her from taking off her pants.

"Nami. Don't do that. Ever. Now go back to bed. You too boys," Zoro said.

Nami sighed and pouted. Luffy moaned at the thought of standing up and Usopp was already half asleep at this point.

"Carry me!" Luffy asked, excited. Sanj sighed and stood. He lifted the seven year old into his arms. Zoro did the same with Usopp.

Nami led them back inside and into the bedroom. She laid down in her special spot next to Robin and Franky and waited for Luffy and Usopp to be put down before tugging Zoro next to her.

Zoro sighed and complied to the little girl's wishes. Nami then motioned for Sanji to lie down next to Zoro.

"Mommies and Daddies are supposed to sleep next to each other."

"Nami-" Sanji started.

"Shhhhh. The babies are sleeping." Nami whispered. "You should just give in now." She told them seriously.

What was with this girl? Sanji thought as he slid into bed next to Zoro.

"Now cuddle."

Sanji and Zoro stared at the girl shocked.

Sanji stood up at that and got as far away from Zoro as he could.

"I'm going to- uh- start breakfast." Sanji said quickly as he rushed out of the room.

Zoro stared at Sanji. It wasn't as if they were really going to cuddle or have babies or anything Nami was saying. Why was the blond reacting so violently? Was there more to his story that he didn't tell Zoro? It was almost like he was afraid of something.

Zoro wouldn't put it past him. It wasn't like he was telling Sanji everything either. Even though it would be nice to share his problems with someone else Zoro just didn't want to.

It wasn't like he didn't trust the cook. He put his life in the man's hands constantly.

Zoro sighed. He disliked how much more complicated an already difficult situation was becoming. He closed his eyes and sighed. Might as well get some rest while he still could.

xXxXx

"This way!" Kalah whispered loudly as he led Luffy and Robin deeper into the forest. He seemed to know where he was going but that was unsurprising considering that the boy lived here his entire life.

This morning after breakfast mommy had taken Nami and Brook shopping for more supplies and daddy was cleaning up the house and taking care of Belle. Luffy had managed to sneak himself Robin and Kalah out and now Kalah was going to show them his secret hideout.

Luffy eagerly ran after the boy once his speed picked up. Soon the trio was racing and giggling.

Kalah stopped suddenly and held up his hand to motion to the others to stop.

"We're here," He said.

Luffy grinned and tried to race ahead to see it but Robin stopped him. "Where?" She asked the little three year old.

Kalah climbed onto a rock and then suddenly disappeared. Luffy and Robin stared at the spot shocked.

Kalah's head poked out. "Come on guys."

Luffy quickly flung himself towards Kalah while Robin was a bit more cautious in her approach.

"This place is so cool!" Luffy grinned as he looked around. Robin had to agree with the boy.

The hideout was surprisingly big and it didn't look like a three year could make it. He probably found it or had someone else make it for him.

Luffy seemed to have notice this as well.

"How did you find it?" Luffy asked curiously.

"I didn't. Daddy made it for my brother and me so we could hide from Mommy whenever she got angry. I don't know what that means though." Kalah said carefreely as he grabbed a toy and began playing with it.

"Where is your daddy?" Robin asked.

Kalah shrugged. "Daddy left a little while ago. I don't know when. One day I was playing outside and then there was a lot of screaming and then there was a bright flash in the kitchen. When I looked inside Mommy was getting smaller and smaller until she was a baby and daddy was demanding Arya turn her back."

"Arya? Who's that?" Luffy interrupted.

"My older brother." Kalah grinned at him. "He is the most awesomest person ever!"

"What happened after that?" Robin asked, curious about the rest of the story.

Kalah shrugged. "I don't remember. The next thing I knew you guys were barging into the house and feeding us. I was so hungry and tired."

Robin frowned but didn't say anything else.

"We should probably get back. Mommy and daddy might worry." Robin said as she stood up and brushed some dirt off of her legs.

Luffy pouted but agreed. He was getting hungry and mommy promised them meat.

Slowly the three kids made their way back to the house. Robin made sure to memorize the path so she could explore it better later.

Something didn't make sense to her.

"Robin, hurry up!" Luffy called as he raced ahead. Kalah giggled and ran after him. His short legs making it difficult to keep up. Robin just smiled and followed.

xXxXx

Yes, yes. I am aware of how short this chapter is. I do have an excuse though. College is stressing me out. I legit hate it and I haven't even started it yet. I don't even know where I'm applying yet…. Is that bad….

Any school recommendations anyone?

Also on top of that: my idiot partner who was supposed to be helping me with a project wimped out on me so now I have to do all the work.

Plus life is hard and I'm getting gray hairs. I should not be getting gray hairs at the age of 17! On the plus side, because of all this stress I lost ten pounds.

But still…. Ugh. Life… I hate it. Why can't we go back to living on farms and being ruled by a monarch? Life was so much better back then. People actually cared about others and fandoms didn't ruin lives and people were actually good in the heart.

You know, besides the whole male dominant society and all the other downfalls.

Why can't the world be simple? Someone make this happen!

…. So anyways. Colleges anyone? I have a 3.5 GPA if that helps (I know it's low. Just work with me though)…. Any school works for me. Preferably in New England since the rest of America freaks me out. (No offense)...

I legit was crying earlier because of all this college stress….

Lilac :(