What are you going to do, when his girl comes to her senses and wants him back? He'd never choose you over her. No one would ever choose you. It is Shoutaro's voice that echoes in my mind, reminding me of who I am. Plain and boring Kyouko. Tsuruga-san must have been turned down. There's no way that it could have been me all along. I wouldn't delude myself into believing something as nonsensical as Tsuruga Ren being in love with me.
Will you go out with me?
"You imagined those words meant more than they actually did, Mogami-san. Why would Japan's number one actor ask you to go out with him on a real date? What do you like me so much that you dared to hope I liked you back?" Tsuruga-sans face forms a sardonic scowl. "When did you become such an impure girl? You disappoint me, Mogami-san."
I sigh setting my doll down and playing his words over in my head. Will you go out with me? He had said it hadn't he? Just one date. I promise if you don't have a good time, I'll never bring it up again.
"Mo, how long are you going to stare at that creepy likeness of Tsuruga Ren?" An irate voice interrupts me as I try to picture a beautiful girl, who is smart enough to gain Tsuruga-sans attention, yet stupid enough to turn him down. "Mo! Kyouko, are you awake?"
Kanae shakes my shoulder. "Moko-san!" Shoving myself out of my chair I make a leap for my best friend, feigning excitement when all I really feel is my tense nerves begging me to find a way out of this predicament.
"What the hell is with that face of yours?" She smacks her hands to my cheeks and holds my face before her. Her piercing eyes examine me for a moment before she releases me and I fall to the floor unprepared to be let go of.
"That hurt Moko-san." I complain while rubbing both of my cheeks.
"Tell me what he did this time." She flips her long black hair over her shoulder, trying to make herself appear less caring than she actually is. "First," she holds up a hand to keep me from speaking, "Was it the arrogant singer, the despicable beagle, or the useless actor? Either it was one of the first two and you don't know how to tell the third or that dumb actor said something that made you accuse him of being a playboy again. Or he's just being a child and not taking care of…"
"Tsuruga-san asked me to go out with him!"
"himself." She finishes her sentence as I blurt mine out. "What?" I'm not sure if she didn't hear me or if she just couldn't believe it.
"Tsuruga-san asked me out on a date, but I don't think he meant it as a real date. I think he confessed to the girl he really likes and she turned him down. Otherwise, why would he ask me to go with him? It must be because he doesn't want to waste his reservations or tickets or something. Right?" I look to her hoping for her to immediately agree but she shakes her head at me and turns away. "Moko-san?"
"So then what was your answer?" She questions crossing her arms.
"Umm, I think I said yes." Still not quite believing my own words I look down at my doll as if it could interpret them for me.
When Kanae turns back to me her face looks as disappointed as the doll. Then mimicking my voice, she shouts at me. "Down with love! It's evil and only for stupid people! Dating is for brainless people with no talent and too much time on their hands." Clearing her throat, she asks, "Aren't you Love Me member number one? Why did you agree to go out with him? If it really is the reservations or whatever then he should just give them to you and we can go out to eat or wherever he was planning on taking that girl."
I press my lips together to keep from accusing her of being heartless. I just told her that he was turned down which means he must be in pain; how could she suggest that I demand to go on the date he planned without him?
"That wouldn't be right, and I don't really know why I said yes. It seemed like the right thing to do." I shrug stealing glances at the replicated face of Tsuruga-san.
"I don't like Tsuruga-san very much but even I feel sorry for the guy." Kanae sits down at the table with me and pokes at the doll. "He makes it so obvious, it's pathetic. But no one wants to be on a pity date, Kyouko. What's worse is if there were some mystery girl then that would make you a consolation date, a second choice. As if you were nothing but an afterthought to heal his wounded ego." Her words piss me off. Tsuruga-san would never use me to serve his ego. "Weren't you done being used by men? What possible reason could you have for agreeing to go on a date!"
I shrug again pulling my abused doll away from her rough fingers. I can't say that he looked too cute to refuse him. That wasn't even the whole reason, although his blushing face did make me want to give him anything he asked for. Still I was too afraid to say yes and that fear had my mouth glued shut until the very last minute when I forced the words out.
"Why did you say yes Kyouko?" Why had I forced myself to accept his request? "I know you respect and admire him, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything he asks of you." I shake my head, not wanting to tell her. How do I describe the power he has over me, without making it sound like I've become a stupid love fool again? I know he couldn't possibly love me, this is not me clinging and hoping that someday he'll see me that way.
"I just want to go with him." Because there is a very large part of me that wants to have the experience of going on a date with the man I… "To be able to go out with you would be nice, and I'm sure that he would gladly allow you to take his place, if I ask. But I want to go on the date with him. And I want him to bring me flowers and try to convince me to let him spend money on me and I want him to enjoy spending time with me." Why am I crying? "I want him to ask me again. To take me out over and over because he has fun with me on this first date. I know it's selfish but I really want him to forget all about her and only see me."
Kanae reaches over and takes the doll from me. "Why?" She asks in a deep voice as she holds it up in front of me.
My mouth opens of its own volition. Words that I never wanted to give life to suddenly suffocated the air around us. Speechless, Kanae's mouth hangs open as she stares at me and I repeat the words to her.
"I love him." Only the president and Sebastian know this. I can barely even admit it to myself, but I need my best friend to know.
She says nothing as she examines the doll with discerning eyes. I squirm, wondering what she must think of me now that she knows I've fallen victim to that wicked emotion again. Will she stop being my friend? Or maybe she'll demand that I do everything in my power to eradicate this sinful feeling. I don't think I like either option. Even if Tsuruga-san never loves me back, it somehow feels good to know that I still have the ability to care about him so deeply.
"You love him?" Kanae asks sitting my doll in front of me gently. "You're in love with him?" I nod doing my best to not crumble to the floor, a shameful mess of emotions. "And going out with him will make you happy?"
"Yes." I admit staring at the doll, unable to meet her eyes. "Even if it's only for one night, I want to pretend that the person I love, loves me too. I want to be greedy and selfish and take what I want for once. And I don't want to care about that other girl's feelings. It's her own fault if she loses him to me." That's what I want to feel, but it hurts a little thinking of that poor girl who missed her chance.
"So if this mystery woman does exist, and I doubt she does, then what are you going to do if she shows up suddenly ready to love him?"
"I don't know. I guess I'll have no choice but to watch him be with her." I could just see that beautiful girl walking in on our date and taking him away from me.
"But then you'll be miserable, won't you? Don't you think that this is something to discuss with him before you go out?" Her hand takes mine. "At least ask him if there is someone else, before you get hurt."
"It's only one date, Kanae how could I get hurt?" She doesn't have to point out the obvious, I already said it. I want more than one date. I want him.
You might enjoy it and then we could, maybe, if you want to go on another one. Was he just saying that?
"If he makes you happy, then I'll support you in this. I will say that despite what you may think, he'd have to be an idiot to not choose you over any other girl."
"Moko-san!" I know she's just being nice, but I've always wanted a friend who would say those exact words to me. I leap out of my chair lunging at her and taking us both down to the floor.
After changing and exchanging a few words of good luck we settle into our roles as love rivals. I have to contain my excitement over seeing my lovely best friend in her costume. If I looked like her I could believe that Tsuruga-san had intended to ask me all along.
A/N: to be continued. So there's an app called Amino with all different kinds of communities where people get together to chat about their favorite things or something and the Skip Beat community is severely lacking. I'm pretty new to the app but I think it's kind of fun. If you guys join you can find me and bug me on there, it may or may not get chapters out faster. Most likely not but, I mean you could try if you want, I'm SkullBunnie on there just like here and I'm in both the Skip Beat communities I saw there. Don't ask me how it works exactly because I have no idea, and I don't get anything for promoting it, I just thought it'd be fun to share. Off to write another chapter now.