Chapter Three

There is absolutely no doubt in her mind that she has to talk to Sami after what she saw in Seth's apartment, but the last thing she wants to do is risk straining things with Roman any further.

Still. Shay shudders at the memory and hugs her hoodie tighter around her. It's late summer and so still ridiculously hot out—hot enough to have the air conditioner in their apartment going nearly all the time—but the cold apartment is not why she's wearing her hoodie. At least, not their cold apartment. More like Seth's. Because how in the hell is he living in a place that feels like a virtual ice box and not picking up on it? How is he not picking up on what's there?

Which, she has no proof there was anything there, not really, and it is very likely she had a micro-nightmare and really did slice herself on the box cutter. It's not like she's never fallen asleep where she shouldn't and been injured as a result, but everything she saw felt so real and it still does now. Not even Roman sitting on the couch next to her, a beacon of warmth if there ever was one, is no help chasing this chill away. This is exactly how Sami told her it would happen and now she has no idea what to do about it. Other than call him, of course, but she doesn't want to because it feels like admitting defeat even if she's already been defeated.

Roman turns to her during a commercial. He's watching the World Cup and she's sitting with him because even though she will never understand sports, she likes his company. "So, was Seth doing okay? I know he said he was, and I know what Dean said, but is he really okay?"

Thank God he's only asking about Seth instead of asking why she looks like death warmed over. Yeah, she's perfectly capable of seeing her reflection in mirrors and she knows she's still deathly pale from where the warmth drained out of her body upon entering Seth's apartment. If Roman asks her what's wrong, what is she going to tell him? A lie, obviously. She doesn't have a choice.

"He's doing okay. Seemed in good spirits. There was this guy in the lobby who flirted with him, I'm pretty sure. Said his name was Tyler Breeze. Cute, too." It feels weird talking to Roman now when she's made every excuse to stay quiet, desperate not to draw attention to herself.

What is she going to do about this? It hadn't happened in so long and then at Seth's apartment, it was worse than it ever has been before. Worse then she has ever experienced and then some because… Honestly, it just felt like walking into a frozen storm cloud. Her skin still feels funny and she wonders if that is going to go away any time soon or not. Will it feel weird to Roman if he touches her? Probably best to just keep the hoodie on for as long as possible, then.

He accepts the answer and nods, then settles his arm across her shoulders like he has so many times before. Even though contact is not exactly the best right now, not when she still feels off even though she left Seth's apartment hours ago, she leans into Roman and savors his warmth. Her head falls against his chest, firm and toned from hours of working out and really, he has no right working out as much as he does but he doesn't have a choice. Sort of in the job description of being a personal trainer… And it's not like she's really complaining about the results, but—

"You're fucking freezing," he says suddenly, leaning away from her and actually turning to face her, his face riddled with concern. "My God, it feels like you've been outside in the middle of winter or something. Are you sick? Do you want to maybe go lie down upstairs?"

Shay blinks up at him, not sure how to process his words as one big hand feels her face, no doubt checking for a fever. Silly, because when someone's sick, they burn but feel cold while all of the heat escapes their body. Not the other way around, and right now, she doesn't feel like there's any heat left in her body. Seeing what she saw stole all of it away in a heartbeat.

But God, the blood. It wasn't really there but it was and if Seth could have seen it, if Cathy… But neither of them had and she had no other reason for leaving the bathroom as quickly as she had. If she tries to explain it to any of them, they might think she's crazy and think about committing her or something. It might not be a bad idea to give that thought some consideration.

However, she knows better. If normal houses and apartments can be like what she saw in Seth's bathroom, and who she saw in his kitchen, then an institution has to be worse. Much worse. The people who die there are never quite right in the head and she has no idea how that would translate in a being that can't even quite be called a being because… It just isn't anymore.

"I'm just a little chilly is all. I'm not sick or anything," she says, and that's as close to the truth as she wants to get because she doesn't have a real why for him. That's the problem.

"Come here." Roman's arms slide under her and lift her, spilling her into his lap. "Stay here until you're warm. Is this a Midwest thing or is this just a you thing?"

Do not lie. There is nothing to be gained from lying now. "I'm not the only one who gets cold."

He sighs and rests his chin on the top of her head, something he can do because he's eight inches taller than she is. Unfair. "Just get warm. And stay warm. I don't like you being this cold."

Try living with it, Roe. But she nods and lays her head against his chest, her ear pressed right against the steady beat of his heart. This does help, though. Roman is warm and alive; she can hear it in his heartbeat, feel it in his skin, even smell it on him because things not alive have their own peculiar scent. It's not scent, really, but aura, something between a taste and a scent. Dead things have their own, and living things have another, and the difference is clear and vast.

That difference has been what draws her back into the world of the living when the dead suddenly rear their heads and remind her that they are everywhere. Most of them are laid to rest, of course, but plenty of them linger behind and they know she can see them. So they look for her.

Sami doesn't have a word for what they are, saying the closest you can really get is between medium and ghost whisperer but neither of them are entirely accurate. If she knew anything about it, Shay might help him figure out a proper word but other than seeing random things that don't belong anymore, she doesn't really know what she can and cannot do with it.

A commercial comes on; she can tell by the way Roman's body shifts, his hair tickling her cheek as he tilts his head down to look at her. Much as she loves him for taking such good care of her and only wanting the best for her, she struggles with it, too. Because telling him the truth is so far out of her field of options that she doesn't even consider it on a normal basis. No, the smart thing to do is to never let him know because, at worst, he'd think she's crazy and bolt.

"Did everything go okay when you and Cathy went to see Seth?" he asks, voice curious.

Thank God for you changing the subject. "Yeah. His apartment was nice. Did I tell you that?"

He nods, combing his fingers through her hair, and thank God for conditioner because otherwise he'd have hit knots by now. "You did when you came back, yeah. I just hope it's going to work out for him. I'd hate for him to think he has to go back to that rat bastard after what he did."

"You don't have to worry about that. Seth's not going back to him." She relaxes into his hand, mostly on instinct. "He finally wised up. Let's just hope this apartment thing works for him."

"Do you think it's going to?" Roman leans back slightly, pulling her further against his chest.

Maybe as long as he doesn't see the blood or the man… "Seth's strong, and he finally has his mind where it's supposed to have been all along. I think he'll get along just fine now."

"You don't sound like you're entirely convinced of that," Roman offers quietly.

"It's not that I think Seth is going to go back to Swagger or anything." He just lives in an apartment building with a fucking monster is all, Roe. "I just worry about him being out there all on his own. I mean, he's a city boy at heart and it just worries me, him being in the country."

Roman chuckles up at her, his gray eyes glittering with mischief. "I'm sure he'll let us know if he gets lonely. On the one hand, though, that means we get just a little more privacy, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean by—Oh." She stops and blinks at him, not sure what to do with the sudden change in topic. It's not new from him, just unexpected. "Oh. Now I see what you're saying."

"It would be a decent way to warm you up, you know," he says, half-smirking at her.

He wants sex after what I just saw. Jesus Christ. "I'm sure that's why you really want it."

"I care about your warmth." He tightens his arms around her and pulls her closer. "I do care."

"Sure. Just let me make a quick call and I'll meet you in the bedroom." Please go with it.

He cocks his head at her, no doubt confused by the words, but then he just grins and nods once. "Works for me. Don't take too long or I'll just have to get started without you."

She smacks his chest lightly before standing, allowing him to head upstairs for the bedroom, while she hurries to the back room so he can't overhear her call. With lightning fast skills she didn't know she had, she dials Sami's phone number and prays that he picks up the phone.

Like a true champ, Sami picks up on the first ring. "I knew you were going to call me."

"So, what, now you're psychic?" She can't help the snark and it helps that he snorts on the other end of the line. "I saw something bad and I'm afraid it might try to hurt my friend. It hurt me."

"Are you talking about Seth? Isn't he the one moving into the new apartment? Or did he already move?" Sami asks, suddenly sounding a hell of a lot more serious about the topic at hand.

She nods, then remembers he can't see her. Or read her mind. "That's the one, yeah."

"This was at his apartment?" Sami asks. "How did it hurt you, Shay? I need exact details."

"I felt a cold chill in the kitchen. I thought it was nothing, so I just brushed it off," she says.

Sami makes a noise at her. "If you're going to call it what it is, call it what it is, please."

"Fuck. Fine. Someone touched my back. I felt it." Her hand wanders to her back, ghosting over the place where something had touched her. "I brushed it off. I didn't think it was anything."

"Of course you didn't. You're in denial about who you are, and so it's natural to try to tell yourself it's nothing," he says, and she isn't sure if he's trying to belittle her or be compassionate.

Fuck it, she doesn't have time to make herself care either way. "Right. Then we went into the bathroom and I could see the blood all over the walls. Smeared all over them. It was awful."

"Sounds violent, which matches your fear of it hurting your friend." Still, he doesn't sound very happy about it, she notes. "Did you tell them what you saw or did you just leave the room?"

"I left the room. I was freaked out and I couldn't stay in there. Sami… I could smell the blood." She gags a little at the memory and wishes she could just make it all go away.

Now, he does sound sympathetic. "It never gets easier. I wish it did. Where'd you go?"

"Into the kitchen. I don't know why when that's where it touched me but I think maybe it called me in there." She takes a deep breath. "There was a box cutter on the counter, and the thing…"

Now she has to stop, and tears blur her vision as she does. She fucking hates this so much, knowing these things are flying around and there's not much she can do to stop them. Sure, most wayward spirits are just wayward spirits and aren't harmful to people, but she's managed to encounter one that would rather attack her and wound her than leave her to her business.

As stupid as it sounds, she's starting to feel like an actual victim when she encounters these things. Not through any fault of her own, she's sure, but the ones that scare her scare her so badly and honestly, the one fear she ever had as a child was malevolent spirits. Sami had told once it was probably her abilities manifesting into fear because she wasn't old enough to harness them yet, and it made her wonder how many people she'd seen as a child that weren't really there. How many of them had been spirits who just left her alone because that's what they're wont to do—and how many malevolent spirits who wanted to attack her but for some reason didn't.

She still remembers its face. His face. Cheekbones that could cut diamonds, fierce blue eyes. A smirk that told her running into the kitchen alone had been a terrible idea. And she'd known upon seeing him that he was the one who had touched her if only for the sick satisfaction of scaring her—he even knew she could see him. He saw her and she saw him, and evidently that made her a perfect candidate to fuck with. The fact he revealed himself so fast was terrifying.

"He asked me if I liked his handiwork, and I didn't know what to say. I—I think that made him angry because that's when he decided to lash out." She swallows hard around the lump in her throat and blinks back the tears because she can't explain to Roman why she cried during her phone call. She can't explain something like that away when it comes to him. "The box cutter. Seth had been using it to unpack, I'm sure, and he lashed out with it. Cut my arm. I convinced Seth I did it myself because I haven't been sleeping well, and that's true, but he did it."

Sami exhales slowly. "You have a right to be afraid for your friend. This thing sounds vicious."

"That's what I'm thinking, and now I'm worried about Seth being alone." All on his own…

"Wait." Sami pauses and she waits. "You said you aren't sleeping. Why aren't you sleeping?"

That has nothing to do with the conversation, but she answers the question in spite of this. "I'm seeing more of them and it's stressing out things between Roman and I. That's all."

"Just be careful not to tell him anything until we get it under control, okay?" Sami asks, and Shay makes an affirmative noise so he knows she understands and agrees. "Good. I'm busy, but we'll set up a date to meet and we'll talk about how to protect Seth from this spirit."

It's not the answer she wants—she would prefer him to just tell her exactly how to stop this thing from hurting Seth—but she agrees because it's what he can offer her right now. After all, their gifts are far from an exact science and she can only imagine how stressful it must be for him to learn something is going on again. Spirits might be everywhere, but not many of them are bent on attacking people. It's the ones that are that tend to cause the most trouble for him.

She remembers him once telling her that the evil spirits don't really want to be seen unless they decide to be seen, and that people like her, people like Sami, seeing them makes them angry and can make them violent. Not having the upper hand means they can't torment people as they wish, and that bothers them immensely. She understands that. But she can't help seeing them because if she could, she would've stopped by now. No one chooses to see these things and she can only imagine how bad it's going to get before she finally gets a handle on her gift or whatever the fuck it is and learns to manage the thing she sees that nobody else can.

Until she gets a handle on it all, there's nothing she can do to help Seth. As much as she hates to admit that, she knows she needs to. Admitting that she can't do something alone makes her that much more likely to seek the help she needs rather than rush into a situation alone because she thinks she can handle it without any problems. Which is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit.

Before she heads upstairs to be with Roman, she slips into the bathroom and checks her appearance. Her skin is still paler than usual, which is saying a lot since her limited time in the sunlight leaves her rather pale. Of course her hair is a bit messy, and she wastes a minute brushing it out for reasons she doesn't even know—it's only going to get messed up when she lies down. Her eyes look wide, scared, almost hollow. That bothers her most of all.

Should she be happy Roman probably won't notice? The idea that loving eyes do not see has proven profoundly true in his case because he hasn't noticed too much just yet. Sure, he's figured out she gets cold sometimes and that she's not as talkative as she used to be, but he doesn't seem to be picking up on the why behind it and that makes her feel relieved. The moment he is able to understand what she is going through is the moment her house of cards falls apart.

She tells herself to stop wasting time, then heads for the bedroom. Though the door is only cracked open, Roman doesn't seem to register his presence. Sprawled across the bed in nothing but his boxers, sunlight spilling through the sheer white curtains, his bronze skin seems to glow and the glory of his dark curls spread across his back and spilling down onto the sheets is magnificent. Everything about him screams alive, and she needs that so much right now.

He glances up from his phone when she clears her throat. "Finish up with your call?"

The smile and nod she sends him are probably shaky, but she tries not to occupy herself with that as she strips out of the hoodie that's far too big for her anyway. Even with the long-sleeved faux velvet sleep shirt on underneath it, she still feels cold. Hopefully, Roman will be able to warm her up because she can't keep going like this. She just can't do it anymore.

She needs to see Sami, and she needs to see Sami soon.

A/N: Sorry for the length between updates, that won't be happening again if I can afford to make it not do so. That being said, I hoped you enjoyed this update. Now we have a bit of a better understanding of what happened with Shay in the kitchen and a bit of her perspective on the situation with Seth—and how much more dangerous it has become.

So, as per usual, let me know your thoughts on this. I'm always eager to find out what you guys are thinking.