Chapter 4

I knew I had won a battle. Not the war.

Indeed, I could hear my conscience screaming 'victory!' in my head, but it was suddenly disturbed by a weird noise. My heart missed a few beats when I realized it was coming from the tank. It only lasted a few seconds and then it stopped, as if it was only a figment of my imagination. Peter must have felt my muscles tighten because he pushed me back lightly, his fingers clenched on my arms. He was about to say something when the same noise echoed through he room, and this time he heard it too. He frowned, trying to find the source of it, and when he finally turned his gaze on the tank I knew I hadn't dreamed. Before I could entirely realize what I was doing I rushed to the tank and opened the doors, not really knowing what to expect. On the spur of the moment I had thought that it was her, alive and healthy, and that she would have gotten out of this tank smiling. And that single thought had made me feel better, because I knew that with her everything was going to be fine, that all of my problems would be reduced to nothing. I wouldn't have to lie anymore, I wouldn't have to live with a man I didn't love, I wouldn't have to hide my real feelings. Except that this sweet dream was becoming a nightmare in front of my eyes. The usual green color of the water had turned to a deep red and her body was floating, lifeless.

'Olivia?' I asked, the joy I was feeling moments ago vanishing in a black hole. 'Olivia, come on! You did it!'

I knew there was no hope, that she would answer me, but on the other hand I still wanted to believe she was alive, I still wanted her to take my hands so I could help her get out of there. But she didn't react at all and it took me some time before doing something cleverer than standing there like an idiot. I grasped her by the wrists and drew her out of the tank as delicately as I could. I laid her down on the floor, trying to feel her pulse, but my fingers were trembling so much I couldn't figure out if there was one or not. I lowered my ear to her mouth, hoping she was breathing, but I couldn't here a single blow. Of course, it would have been a miracle if she had survived, but with all the tings I had seen in my life this time I really was willing a miracle to happen.

'Please, I can't lose you twice! Come on!' I crossed my fingers on her chest and began pressing her ribcage – crushing would be more appropriate – as hard as I could. I closed my eyes tightly, unable to look at her pale face and glassy eyes. If she died, it would be my fault, I just couldn't let this happen. I heard Peter coming but I didn't pay any attention to it. The only thing I wanted right now was her alive. I pinched her nose between my thumb and my index and blew some air in her mouth, but there was no response.

'Come on, dammit!' Tears of anger and pain were rolling on my cheeks, my arms were weakening and she still hadn't shown any sign sing of life. 'Peter, go get towels!'

'Olivia, what the hell...?' I knew that was Peter and I felt him got closer to us. That probably looked weirder for him than I could imagine but this was not the time for an explanation. I just kept on massaging her chest, begging under my breath for her to wake up.

'Olivia,... I think you can't do anything for her...' Peter said, putting his hands on my shoulder. I ignored him even though I was feeling the muscles of my arms screaming of pain.

'Peter, go get those damn towels! Come on baby, wake up! I know you can do it!' My whole body was shaking and I really was on the verge of giving up. I pressed one last time and fell backward on my bottom, having lost all my strength. Seeing her laying there, lifeless, had been the most terrible experience of my whole life. For a few seconds, I just stared at her body, unable to realize she was dead. Peter finally got back with the towels, and he put them on a chair. He handed me one so I could wash the blood from my hands but I wiped the bloody water away from her face instead. I could feel the tears in the corner of my eyes, blurring my vision, but I just couldn't let her now how weak I was. Peter put his hand on my shoulder and crouched in front on me.

'You'd better sit there' he said softly, pointing out a seat. 'You'll be more comfortable.' I nodded even though I hadn't really understand what he had said. I was a little disconnected from reality and it didn't even shocked me when Peter took her in his arms and laid her down on an autopsy table. I was unable to detach my eyes from her corpse and it was only when Peter threw a sheet over her body that I blinked, chasing what was left of tears in my eyes. He then sat next to me and I lowered my eyes to the floor, not wanting to meet his intense stare I was feeling on me. I was expecting him to ask tons of questions – because I knew what he'd been a witness of was not a thing he'd ever seen – but he just wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

'I'm sorry, Olivia...' he whispered. I was grateful he didn't ask for an explanation and when he draw me in a tight hug, I burst out in tears. The tiger inside me was crying, deeply hurt, but not as much as I was. The sorrow I felt had nothing to do with the thing, because inside me I perfectly knew I care about her much more than I would have ever admitted to anyone. I blamed myself because it was the only way to ease my pain. I'd never experienced a sorrow like this and I doubted that telling someone about it would have done me some good, but the urge of avenging her death was too important. If I could have asked Peter to hurt me, I certainly would have. The thing was he would have never accepted to hurt even if I begged him to. That was the worst situation I had found myself in ever. I was responsible for her death and I would never be punished for it.

'It's my fault, Peter' I said against his shoulder. 'We should go to the police and tell them what I did.'

'Olivia' Peter said, sounding a bit worried for my mental health. 'It's not your fault. She crossed over alone, you didn't force her to do it!'

'Yes I did! And I didn't give her enough of my blood and that's why she didn't make it! I should have given her more!'

'Olivia listen to me,' he said, lifting my chin so my eyes could meet his. 'There could be a thousand other reasons why she couldn't pull through, okay? It is not your fault.'

I agreed with a nod because I knew there was no need to argue when he used that particular tone of his, even though I was convinced I was right. Of course, being wounded had probably had an undesirable effect, but you can't die this fast with an injury like this. I hadn't given her enough Cortexiphan and she had paid the price. I got on my feet, suddenly feeling the need to be alone. I needed to think. To think about what my life would have been like if she'd survived, about what I was going to do now all of those little plans I had done in my head were not going to happen... To be honest, I couldn't quite imagine my life without her. Right after meeting her, I'd known we were going to have a very particular relationship. There was – had been – a really strong bound between us, stronger than between twins. I didn't even know if it was love but that feeling was so extraordinary I thought I was going to miss it a lot. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and I was about to leave when Walter and Astrid appeared across the room.

'Peter!' he called, hurrying to his desk. 'I may have found a way to get agent Dunham back!'

'I'm already here, Walter' I said with a quick sign of the hand, avoiding his look.

'How amazing! How did you...'

'Walter, not now' Peter interrupted, knowing I didn't really want to elaborate. I was sick, cold and utterly dejected, and the only thing I wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of my life. I walked past them, unable to look into their eyes. I ignored the body laying dead under the sheet because I knew I wouldn't bear the sight, but of course Walter couldn't help and hastened to her.

'And you've brought back a body from the alternate universe! Maybe I could study it to find out what the consequences of traveling between universes are!'

Before I could anything, I heard a loud thump which caused me to turn on my heels. I didn't know I could be that violent towards Walter, but seeing the mass of white fabric and her foot jutting out from under the sheet drove me mad. I rushed to him and grasped him forcefully by the collar of his white coat.

'Had nobody told you to treat dead people with some respect?' I roared, shaking him harshly. 'You are not going to experiment on her, am I clear enough? I won't let this happen, Walter!'

I was hoping he would have got the message quickly, but he wasn't even looking at me. I was about to shake him once more when I noticed he seemed fascinated by what was happening behind me. I released him, leaving a trace of blood on his collar, and looked over my shoulder to see what was so interesting. My heart missed a few beats when I understood. The sheet was moving. It was so slight that I wondered a moment if this was for real or not, but a second later there was a cough. Then her hand slipped under the sheet.

'Could someone please help me get this off of me?' she asked with a really weak voice, trying to free herself.

For a moment, I just stayed there, wide eyed. It was so crazy that I really thought I was dreaming.

'Hello?' she then said, and I could feel the hesitation in her voice. 'Anybody here?'

I blinked and suddenly everyone seemed to wake up. I knelt next to her and lifted the sheet, not really knowing what to expect – she'd been dead for a good quarter, after all. My heart was hammering against my ribcage and it only calmed down when I saw her deep green eyes looking back at me.
'They're gone?' she asked, ready to faint.

'Shh, don't speak baby,' I said, tearing her shirt. Now that she was alive again, the wound was bleeding more than ever, and it wouldn't be long before she passed out. Astrid was already calling the hospital and Peter hurried to Olivia's side, pressing a thick towel on the wound.

'An ambulance is coming' Astrid said, putting her phone back in her pocket. 'They'll be here in five minutes.'

I barely listened to her, focused on what I was doing. I didn't want to do something wrong, I knew what it would feel like if she died a third time, and I really didn't want it to happen. This time she had to stay alive, whatever it cost. I was rolling another towel to put it under her head when Walter knelt next to me.

'Agent Dunham, the ambulance isn't far, now, you should hide.' he said in my ear, grasping my wrist.

'Walter, what..?'

'If they see you, they're probably going to ask your name. You can't tell them you're Olivia, because this Olivia has no health cover! You have one, and trust me you'd better let them believe she's you! Not to mention that if they find out there are two of you, they'll do research and they'll realize there's a problem! You can't take the risk!'

'I... I hadn't thought about that...' I said, realizing he was right. 'Okay, over there they've got a 'show me' card. Do you think it could do it? I haven't got my ID with me.'

'No, the card you're talking about doesn't exist here, it's not a proof. Go get your card with Peter, Astrid and I are staying with her.'

'Walter, I...'

'If you want her to stay alive you have to do it! I'll be waiting for Peter at the reception. And be quick.'

I nodded, took a last look at her body and followed Peter who had already put his coat on and was waiting for me at the door.

I honestly didn't think this story would be that long, but I hope you still like it ! ;D