A/N: Life kinda reaming me badly, but I had some free time and I managed to add something.

Disclaimer: The dream is mine, not the reality of Twilight. *sniff*

Chapter Four

Figuring it Out

*

I hid myself in my room the rest of the weekend.

The night Edward disappeared, Emmett picked the lock to my bedroom, wanting to talk. I stared at him while I tried to put together a coherent answer. "You know, for someone in law enforcement, you tend to break it a lot."

He chuckled and came to sit beside me. "You OK, Bells?"

"Yep."

He stared at me. I stared at him.

"Are you hungry?"

"Nope."

"Do you want to talk?"

"Nope."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"There's the door." I pointed to it and rolled onto my side.

"Bells, I'm sorry about earlier. Bad habits die hard, ya know?" he said, running his fingers through my short hair. I didn't answer.

"Jasper's gone to try and find Edward. We don't know where he's gone, but we'll find him."

I wondered why he thought telling me that was comforting.

Emmett was quiet for awhile longer. He seemed to realize I wasn't going to say anything else and sighed. He leaned over me to kiss my forehead and got up.

"Call me if you need me, squirt." He said softly and went out. I heard the door click and rolled back onto my side to stare at my ceiling.

An hour and twenty-five minutes later with everyone knocking to see if I was OK, I finally fell asleep to Shinedown on my music player. With the headphones on, volume on high, it wasn't too difficult to block out the noises of the real world and drift away into dreamland.

**

EPOV

If the mausoleum caretaker came in and saw me sitting there he'd probably have a heart attack. But I could only warrant a guess as to my appearance. I hadn't slept in awhile, my clothes were rumpled and disheveled, my hair was messy and greasy, my nose was frickin broken, I really needed to shave and my eyes would pretty much display the fact that I was tired as hell.

And that I was embarrassed to fuck. Scared. Confused. And intimidated. Had to add those to the list.

And the fact that I had no idea what to do next.

I'd spent the better part of the past eight hours trying to think. The cemetery was the best place to not be disturbed. Creepy, yes, but quiet and unusual, no one would think to look for anyone alive here.

I kept repeating to myself that Bella was pregnant. If my calculations were correct, she'd be just over two months. Which would make it about five months since Jessica left. It was funny – my heart didn't clench up nor did my stomach knot up thinking about her. It was like … a memory I had, but I couldn't quite remember what it was, but it wasn't really that important, so it wasn't a big deal.

Then there was Bella.

I couldn't remember exactly when she stopped being Emmett's clumsy little sister, to the little spitfire who now owned my emotions.

I think I hid it pretty well from everybody. Except maybe Alice. And maybe Jasper. I had tried very hard to remain nonchalant around her. I know I was pretty much a ghost those past couple of months, but after that night with Bella… something changed. And then there was Tanya. And then I fucked everything up.

I snorted in the darkness.

It was just like me. I had finally found something worth fighting for, and then a stupid mistake fucked it all up.

Tanya had come by my apartment drunk as hell, and I did the gentlemanly thing and took her up to her place. My feet automatically took me to Tanya's room, when I really wanted to see Bella. But the darkness of her room told me she wasn't there. After untangling the she-witch from my body, I left.

Then Bella started avoiding me. She ignored my calls, walked pass me in the hallways, and pretty much stopped speaking to me.

And then I had to take stupid Garrett's advice from the hospital and forced her to talk to me, to see me – well, imagine my surprise.

She was pregnant.

Bella was pregnant.

I still couldn't wrap my head around it, but here I had another chance. Someone somewhere must've thought that I wasn't that much of an asshole, because I had another fucking chance! I'd damn sure make the best of it this time. I'd fight.

Yet…

I was pretty sure Bella would castrate me the next time she saw me. I'd practically insulted her. I thought it was a grand gesture, and – it just got me my nose broken. I'd never learn, would I?

I didn't want to make the same mistake twice.

And Bella was nothing like Jessica. Night and day. Water and oil. As different as they came.

So, my heart knew what was needed to be done. Now my head just had to figure out just exactly what the hell it was.

**

BPOV

"So, let me get this straight.. you got knocked up by a one-night stand?"

"Gee, Carmen. You should really go into counseling. Your sympathy is astounding." I glared at my advisor.

Carmen still had that incredulous look on her face. "For Edward Cullen?"

I didn't answer.

"You know, for others, this right here would be a meal ticket." She grinned wickedly.

"How the hell did you ever get this job?" I gaped at her.

The little Latina threw her head back and laughed. I wanted to throw something at her. Those incense candles she had burning behind her would be a good bet.

"You know, the reason I came to you, was because I needed advice; there's that small matter of my scholarship and me almost being done with school. Can I attend pregnant?"

Carmen's laughter subsided, gradually giving way to a small smile. "You've only got one semester left right?"

I bit my lip and nodded.

She got up and came around to sit on her desk, facing me. "Yours isn't an unusual case. I've known quite a few students who attend classes pregnant, it's not a big deal, and you have nothing to be ashamed of." She said gently.

"Easy for you to say, Carmen. Both your daughters are out of college and married with kids." I muttered.

She chuckled again, the laugh lines beside her eyes reminding me of Alice's mom. I turned my head away, blinking back the tears.

"Bella, listen to me. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Women get pregnant every day, some in worse circumstances than yours. You can attend classes pregnant, or if you so choose, you can do distance studying for the semester. But you will need to come in for your sectionals and to see me every two weeks or so."

I nodded.

"Hija," she tipped my chin up, "what does Edward have to say about this?"

"Oh, he's thrilled. Can't wait to decorate the baby's room and all."

Carmen raised an eyebrow.

I shook my head. "I honestly don't know. I think he's happy. But I pretty much ripped him a new one yesterday evening. And I broke his nose."

"What!?'

I shrugged. "Hey, he was asking for it. Besides, he pretty much labelled me a 'baby mama'."

"How'd he do that?"

"By saying the kid would be taken care of."

"Taken care of? As in an abortion?" Carmen sounded pissed.

I looked up at her. That look of concern was changing. "No! That's not what I meant. As in, he said he'd take care of me and the baby."

Carmen watched me for a minute. "And how do you feel about that?"

"Honestly? Still thinking about it."

She nodded.

"Have you made an appointment to see a OB/GYN?"

"Alice and Rose are way ahead of me on that. I have an appointment tomorrow."

"Good." She got up and went back around to her desk. "Do you want to come back in a week's time?" She looked at her dayplanner. "That's about a week before school starts, you can meet up with your lecturers to get copies of your syllabuses and timetables for sectionals."

I nodded stood up to leave. Carmen didn't say anything else, just started making notes.

I walked to the door and was about to leave when she called out to me. I turned.

"You aren't your mother, hija, you make your own history. You are the woman you are today because you have never let your past define you; don't start now."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, woman?"

She chuckled. "Don't ever change Bella. You'll figure it out."

"You need to stop inhaling that stuff." I pointed to the candles behind her. "I hear they do funny things to your brain. Well, in your case, that's proof."

I left Carmen's office feeling a bit better. At least I had one load off my shoulder. Now I just had to see Angela and talk to her about keeping my job. I made my way across the quad and to the bus stop. I cursed Rose as I looked at the darkening sky. What kind of friend leaves her pregnant friend to take the bus while she 'takes a look at the car'? Maybe I needed to find more ways to exploit this pregnancy to my benefit.

The bus was pulling up to the curb as I hurried forward. No sooner had I sat down on the bus when fat droplets of rain started falling against the windows. No way in hell was I taking the bus or a cab home. I pulled out my cell and dialled the house.

"Brandon & Swan."

"My car had better be fixed so you can pick me up at the store." I growled.

Rose's husky laugh came over the line. "Not a problem Bella. You can come with me to look at invitations too!"

"Hey, I'm not the one you're getting married to you know."

"Yep, but your bother has about zero taste in stationery. Besides, I was hoping you could help me write the invites." I heard muffled talking in the background and Rose squealed again.

"Alice just found the cutest design!" She was chattering with Alice in the background and me on the phone at the same time. I had to smile. At least there was some level of normalcy still around. The coming months were not going to be easy and I needed to rely on something.

I let my mind drift while listening to the chatter on the phone when a flash of dirty blonde hair caught my eye. The bus had just stopped and people were hurrying to get off and out of the rain. With the downpour outside, it was hard to make out anyone clearly. Still, I peered out the windows, hoping that my mind was just playing tricks on me.

"Rose."

"Uh huh."

"Can you and Alice come and get me now. The next stop is outside of the store."

"Sure, Bella. What's wrong?" It was Alice on the line now.

"Nothing. I really don't want to be in this rain any longer." I replied. Truth was, I was getting cold. And I was pretty sure the rain had nothing to do with it.

"Alright. We'll leave out right now. ROSE! Come on! Baby mama is getting lonely!" She hollered.

"You need to stop calling me that Alice." In spite of myself, I had to crack a smile.

She snickered. "We'll be there in 10."

As the bus sidled up to the stop in front of the store, I reached inside my messenger bag for the bone handle knife Jake had given me, a really long time ago. I wasn't sure what it was, but the sudden chill - that had nothing to do with the rain - was getting me antsy. I walked briskly to the store and yanked the door open, stepping inside quickly.

A quick scan of the outdoors showed there was no one following me, everyone was hurrying out of the rain, but no one behind me.

"Bella, you OK?"

I turned around to see the security guard, Riley, staring at me. I turned back to the doors, checking again before slipping the knife into my jeans.

"Yeah, Riley. I'm good."

"Feeling better today?"

I nodded and forced myself to smile. "Yea, thanks."

"Good." He squeezed my shoulder and reached for my dripping jacket. I shrugged out of it and handed it to him. Suddenly feeling naked, I looked again towards the door, to see a tall, lanky figure strolling up the sidewalk, just passing. I forced my feet to move towards the employees lounge, where I was sure warmth awaited me.

I had a sudden need for someone to hold on to, and my stomach clenched when I realized the only person I wanted to see right now, was Edward.

A/N: So, do you want to hate me now? Or later? I promise I'll explain some more soon. Reviews? Bring em on nuh .