Disclaimers and such can be found in chapter 1

Janeway sat silently fuming, staring at the wood grain patterns of the table she and Owen Paris sat behind as the five admirals of the Starfleet administrative board discussed her as though she wasn't in the room. She was afraid if she looked up at them, her glare would make her opinion all too obvious.

"There's a reason, actually make that several reasons, we took her commission away in the first place," Admiral Rivers rumbled, pointing his finger at Janeway as if there were any confusion about who he was talking about. "She cannot be trusted to make rational decisions."

"Oh, please Hal," Admiral Nechayev returned. "She made thousands of decisions over seven years without any support from Starfleet available to her. Only a handful of those turned out to be questionable. Do you think your percentage rate would be that exceptional?"

Rivers bristled. "I'd remind you, Alynna, that I have never once been brought in front of a review board for any of my decisions."

"That's because you've never made any command decisions," Nechayev retorted. "You've never left headquarters."

The gavel banged against its sound block as Admiral Garcia tried to return order to the proceedings. "Can we please return to the matter at hand, people?"

The admirals grudgingly fell quiet and Janeway dared to look up at Alynna Nechayev. It had been quite a shock to find out that one of her strongest supporters had been and still was the female admiral seated all the way to the right of the dais. During the debriefings, Nechayev had raked her over the coals repeatedly without once displaying a single glimpse of understanding, compassion, or support for Janeway, but now here she was defending her with a rancor towards her fellow admirals that defied believability.

The thought crossed Janeway's mind that she would have to be sure and tell Chakotay about it as he would never believe it either, but just as quickly as the thought had come, she regretted it. All this time and she still randomly forgot that she no longer saw him every day. She heard a slight movement behind her and stiffened, having also forgotten for a moment that her Betazoid counselor was sitting less than three meters away from her. Damn. As tuned in to Janeway as Meghan was today, she had probably heard that loud and clear. If they had any future sessions, Janeway was sure that it would come up.

"The matter at hand is simple. Elias," Nechayev stated, directing her comments to Garcia. "We have a problem. Janeway is the most efficient solution."

"That's debatable," Rivers commented sourly.

Nechayev ignored him and continued. "I put forth the motion that we pardon Kathryn Janeway, reinstate her commission as captain of Voyager, and move forward with the mission at hand."

The admirals went into an uproar again, and Owen's hand came to rest heavily on Kathryn's shoulder, holding her in her seat. "Easy."

"What the hell is going on?" she hissed at him, taking advantage of the admirals' inattention. "What mission are they talking about?"

"It's need to know, Janeway," Admiral Rivers snarled having overheard her, "and we have not yet decided whether or not you need to know."

She hadn't been trying to draw the attention of the board, but now that she had it, she wasn't about to back down. She stood up to address him. "Admiral, I believe it does concern me. I can always decline."

"Kathryn," Owen muttered quietly at her side.

"No, Owen, I might be able to save them a lot of time." She shook his hand off her arm. "I could tell them right now to shove it, and they wouldn't have to decide whether or not they trust my judgment."

The old admiral sitting next to Nechayev that had remained quiet throughout the proceedings raised two bushy eyebrows in surprise. Nechayev pinched the bridge of her nose. Rivers simply looked triumphant. He waved his hand at Janeway. "This is who you want to entrust with saving the fleet."

"Saving the fleet?" Janeway asked with incredulity. She looked up to Admiral Garcia. "Could someone please have the professional courtesy to tell me what exactly is going on here?"

The admirals all exchanged looks. Some guilty. Some not. The old admiral with the bushy eyebrows whose name Janeway had still not caught, cleared his throat. "I think she has the right to know. Tell her."

Rivers sat back in his chair obviously not agreeing but also not willing to speak out against the older admiral.

Garcia nodded and looked to Pernsen who had yet to contribute anything useful. "Give her the outline."

Pernsen cleared his throat. "Thirty days ago the USS Sarek detected a spatial distortion wave bearing down on their position. The distortion ring overtook the ship and appeared to all crewmembers to be crushing and distorting the very physical makeup of the ship."

Janeway cocked her head. "Appeared to be?"

"Yes. The spatial distortion wave passed completely through the ship leaving no structural damage at all despite what crewmembers reported seeing. However, their ship's systems were affected," he paused and looked to Admiral Garcia before continuing. "The entire ship's database was erased and replaced with Voyager's."

"Voyager's?" she repeated in astonishment.

"Yes, Voyager's complete database up until stardate 49012.3."

Janeway's brow furrowed as she quickly did some math. "But that was only partially in to our second year."

"Since its first appearance thirty days ago," Pernson continued, "the spatial distortion has reappeared every six days, wiping out the computer databases of five ships and replacing each with a copy of Voyager's database."

"We believe it's looking for Voyager," Nechayev contributed, looking at Janeway, "and more specifically for you."

Janeway glanced at Meghan and Owen, hoping the counselor was getting more from this exchange than she was. Turning back to the board, she asked. "What makes you think this distortion is looking for me?"

The board of admirals all looked uncomfortable, but Nechayev spoke as bluntly as she had during all the debriefings. "It's asked for you by name."

Janeway watched in amused understanding as Meghan buried her head in her hands and groaned. The two of them and Owen had been dismissed from the board room and told to wait in one of the antechambers while the admirals discussed what further details of the current situation they were willing to share. Janeway stood silently, looking out the lone window while Owen sat across the table from Meghan.

"It has to be something dangerous they want me to do, but surely, they must already know what my grounds will be for any deal," Kathryn muttered.

"They do," Meghan answered, her voice muffled behind her hands. "Rivers is surprised you haven't asked for it already." She let her hands drop to the surface of the table. "He wanted you to ask so he could use it against you."

"What about the others?" Owen asked. "Where do they stand in all of this?"

"Bulloch is content to let Nechayev be his mouthpiece."

"Bulloch is the older gentleman?" Janeway clarified.

Meghan nodded. "He's on your side and has been since the beginning. He disagreed with your court martial, but unfortunately he wasn't planetside at the time of your arrival home." A smile flitted across her face. "He enjoyed it when you talked back to Rivers."

"That bodes well, then," Owen snorted, catching Janeway's eye. "Bulloch is good people. I've worked with him before on operations, and he was a major player in the Dominion War."

Kathryn nodded. "That puts two in my corner and two against me. Rivers' opinion of me is obvious, and I already know what Pernsen thinks of me."

Meghan grimaced. "No…you don't."

Janeway raised an eyebrow in question.

"Pernsen won't side with you; you're right about that. He's too afraid of Rivers," Meghan explained, "but his opinion of you is not what you think." She held up her hand to ward off Janeway's next question. "He's been thinking a lot about black leather, you, and a tribble." At Janeway's stunned reaction, Meghan pleaded, "Please don't ask me to elaborate."

Owen almost laughed, but covered it well with a cough when he caught the look of disgust on Janeway's face. "Well then," he said still clearing his throat, "that just leaves Garcia."

Before Kathryn could speculate on that, the door to the antechamber opened, allowing entrance to Alynna Nechayev. She threw down a PADD unceremoniously and pulled out the chair at the end of the table. "I have the terms of the agreement."

Janeway took a seat at the opposite end of the table and leaned back in her chair. "An agreement would imply that I have consented to the terms, Admiral. Perhaps I should clarify my position."

"No clarification is necessary, Captain." Nechayev's expression didn't waver as she slid the PADD across the table. "All the details of our proposal are listed."

Kathryn shifted the PADD to Owen without so much as glancing at it. She preferred to keep her focus on her target. "Why don't you tell me the details of the situation first?"

The Admiral's lips tightened at Kathryn's disregard of the offer, but she recovered quickly and gave a curt nod. "Very well. In the second year of your journey, your ship encountered a spatial distortion wave that left you incapacitated. By all accounts, the wave moved through your ship distorting the physical makeup of Voyager as it traveled. Upon completion of its…scan you awoke and claimed that it had been trying to communicate."

"Yes," Janeway agreed. "We also found that it had copied the entire database and left new information in return."

"Twenty million gigaquads of new information, to be precise," Nechayev clarified. "We believe that spatial distortion is the same one that we are encountering now."

Janeway's eyes narrowed. "You said it asked for me by name…how?"

Nechayev sat back in her chair. "Each ship that has encountered the wave has had their captain become incapacitated for the duration of the wave's passage. Upon its departure, the captain regains consciousness and asks for you by name."

Meghan's eyes darted towards the Admiral and Janeway saw a small crease appear between the counselor's eyebrows.

"We believe," Nechayev continued oblivious to the counselor's reaction, "that if you…communicate with it, you'll be able to find out what it's after and we can stop losing…databases."

Janeway scoffed, "And Starfleet is willing to reinstate my commission just to have me 'talk' to this entity?"

Nechayev began to respond but Meghan spoke first.

"They don't think you'll survive the encounter."

The young Betazoid's declaration fell into the room, robbing Nechayev of her planned reply and leaving a deafening silence in the room in its wake.

The cold knowledge that Meghan's statement was the truth settled in the pit of Kathryn's stomach, and she slid her eyes to the admiral seated at the end of the table that for the first time since entering the room looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Is that true, Admiral?"

It didn't surprise her really, but she wanted the point acknowledged.

Nechayev swallowed thickly before answering. "It is one possibility."

Owen slammed his hand against the table and pushed his chair back as he stood. "We're done here."

Meghan stood, too, albeit more slowly and calmly, but Kathryn remained seated, her eyes on Nechayev. "This is about more than a couple of computer databases," she said coldly, shrewdly. "What is it that has Starfleet so worried?"

Nechayev slowly raised her eyes away from the floor and stared pointedly at Meghan. "I'm not at liberty to say."

At Meghan's quick intake of breath, Kathryn was halfway out of her seat until the counselor held up a hand to her, stilling her movements while never breaking eye contact with Nechayev. Kathryn glanced at Owen, who shifted nervously as the silence drew out for several minutes. Then Meghan blinked and put a steadying hand on the seat she had vacated earlier.

Nechayev's chair scraped across the floor as she stood up. "I'll give you three a few minutes alone to discuss your options."

As soon as she'd left the room, Owen asked, "What is going on?"

Meghan sank back into her seat, a hand held to her forehead. Janeway stood and poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the side table. She set it down in front of Meghan and parked her hip on the table. "Are you all right?"

The young Betazoid nodded and took a grateful sip of the water. "There's a lot they aren't telling you."

Kathryn folded her arms across her chest and nodded. "Start at the beginning."

"Well for starters these 'contacts' aren't nearly as benign as they're making them sound." She pushed her hair back from her face and regarded Kathryn directly. "They started out that way, but they've become progressively more destructive to both ships and…captains.

"The first time it happened, it did just as they say. The database was replaced and the captain asked for you, but by the latest contact…the Shakespeare," Meghan shook her head. "Almost every system on the ship was affected. It had to run on reserve power until it managed to get back to a starbase."

"What about the captain?" Owen asked.

Meghan glanced worriedly at Kathryn. "He was raving…delusional. They tried sedating him, and that didn't work at all. They ended up confining him to the brig…but that didn't stop his demands."

"And he was demanding…me?" Janeway clarified.

"More or less," Meghan hedged.

Janeway's eyebrow raised. "What was he saying?"

Meghan hesitated. "He wanted you brought to him…"

Janeway frowned as Meghan trailed off. The counselor's hesitation alone had given her away. Placing her palms on the table, Kathryn spoke very clearly. "Meghan. Tell me exactly what he was saying."

"Dead Janeway. Janeway dead. Bring me dead Janeway."

Owen swore under his breath, but Kathryn barely glanced at him. "Then what happened?"

"They tried explaining to him – it, that you weren't dead. Apparently a lot of the crew were familiar with your case. They explained that you were in prison and that the Maquis members of the crew had been exiled." She spread her hands wide on the table. "He…the captain or entity didn't take the news very well."

"I can understand that feeling," Janeway commented wryly.

"He…it…started throwing out names of Voyager's crewmembers, demanding to see them, but he kept coming back to you. Repeating it like a chant almost."

"What did he say when he mentioned the others?"

Wrinkles appeared on Meghan's forehead as she thought about it. "Nothing about them being dead…at least, I don't think so. That wasn't the impression Nechayev had."

Janeway nodded, straightening. She eyed Owen. "And you didn't know about any of this?"

He looked surprised at the question. "No!"

Meghan shook her head. "They didn't tell him because they knew he'd interfere. Bulloch is the reason he even knew about the hearing today."

Kathryn apologized to Owen with her eyes and paced silently away from the table. This decision, despite her dragging her feet, had really been cut and dry until her crew had been brought into it. If Starfleet was really worried about this thing attacking ships until it found and killed her then there was no argument, but if it had any intentions of killing her crew…that was another matter entirely. She wished she could know precisely what had been said by both parties.

"There's a video log."

Janeway's head came up to find the counselor watching her closely. She mentally swore, acknowledging the counselor's mind reading, but Meghan was already shaking her head. "They don't want you to know about it, and they won't acknowledge its existence." She smirked a little. "The admiral didn't exactly intend for me to see that bit of information."

"And what about the rest of my crew?" Janeway asked, one hand resting on her hip. "What were Nechayev's thoughts on them and this mission?"

Meghan understood what she was really asking. "They want them to go on this mission, too. At least, they want the Starfleet members anyway."

"The rest of your crew?" Owen asked, confused. "What in the blue blazes are you two talking about?"

Kathryn took a minute to explain as she understood it. "Starfleet wants to stop this thing from attacking ships. I'm the best way to do that, but if now I'm not the only thing this entity wants, then they're going to want to bring in my crew." She shook her head to emphasize her point. "I will not endanger my crew on Starfleet's behalf. They deserve better."

Owen picked up the mostly forgotten PADD with the terms of the agreement. "That may be a deal breaker, Kathryn."

She frowned at him and the PADD. "A minute ago, you didn't know what I was talking about, Owen."

"Well that was when I didn't think you were actually going to go through with this." He handed her the PADD. "Reading through this agreement they've offered you, there's a few stipulations. One being that as many of your former crew as possible that were onboard at the time the entity originally passed through Voyager should and will be present."

She skimmed the contents of the PADD. "What about the Maquis?"

He shook his head. "No mention of them."

She snorted. "If they want the crew of Voyager, it has to have Maquis."

Owen chuckled, receiving a death glare from both women. He shrugged, not at all affected by it. "You just said you didn't want to endanger them, and now you're saying Starfleet has to. You can't have your cake and eat it, too, Kathryn." He paused, noticing a glint in her eyes that he hadn't seen in the past year. "You've already got a plan."

The ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of Kathryn's mouth and Meghan dropped her head back to the table.

As the admirals all filed back into the main court room, Owen, Meghan, and Kathryn all stood respectively. Nechayev's face betrayed nothing of how she was feeling, but Rivers looked positively gleeful.

Once everyone was seated, Owen approached the dais and handed a PADD to Garcia. "I believe you'll find everything is in order."

Garcia accepted it with only the mildest trace of surprise on his face. "Thank you, Owen."

"Our pleasure," Owen replied, turning back towards the table. "But you may want to review it. We made some changes and additions."

"What!" Rivers exploded, surprising nobody. "You can't do that!"

"Oh, I believe you'll find that we can," Owen returned calmly, taking his seat, "and we have."

A stunned silence followed as everyone watched Garcia as he scrolled through the PADD's contents without comment.

"Well," Rivers couldn't take it any longer. "What does it say?"

Garcia handed the PADD to Bulloch and set his gaze on Janeway. "We were hoping to avoid another ship getting hit by this thing. The time frame you've outlined makes that unlikely."

"The plan I've outlined makes it impossible," she corrected, "but it also makes it safer."

Bulloch let out a low whistle and smiled broadly at Janeway as he finished reading and set the PADD down. When Rivers made a noise of impatience, Bulloch rolled his eyes and passed the PADD towards him. "It's a gamble, but it's no less than what we're asking her to do."

Janeway nodded her appreciation for his understanding, but everyone in the room seemed to be waiting for the reaction from Rivers. They didn't have to wait long.

"This is outrageous," he said, slamming the PADD down. "You can't seriously expect us to just…go along with this."

"Would you prefer to go in my place, Admiral?" she asked calmly.

Rivers' eyes narrowed. "Just who do you think you are? No Starfleet officer would ever-"

"At the moment, I'm not a Starfleet officer," Janeway interrupted. "At least not until you and your colleagues ratify this agreement."

He shook his head. "No. I won't do it."

"Hal–" Alynna began but he cut her off.

"No. I will not sit here and have terms dictated to me by a convicted felon. She has no right." He pointed at Janeway to emphasize his speech. "We offered her a chance to redeem herself, and this is what she gives us in return. It's preposterous."

"It's the only chance you have." Janeway pushed her chair back and stood, circling out from behind the table to stand directly in front of the admirals. "You want me to risk my life and the lives of my crew to go and confront this anomaly, and all you offered was my freedom and the temporary return of my commission. That's pittance, and it's not enough. Not nearly enough."

"It's all you're going to get," Rivers sneered. "Although I'm not even inclined to give that to you now."

"Then send me back to prison." Janeway shrugged, turning her back on them and returning to her seat. She paused before she sat down and looked at Rivers again. "Just tell me one thing before you do, Admiral. How exactly do you plan to defend yourself against this spatial distortion?" She began ticking off on her fingers as she spoke, "Weapons don't work against it. It goes through shields like they aren't there. The only way it communicates is by overtaking ships." She paused before making her last point. "And apparently you can't seem to avoid it."

Rivers bristled but offered no answer.

"I'm the best shot you've got at dealing with this thing," she stated firmly as she scanned her audience, "and we all know it."

Not willing to give in, Rivers leaned forward. "You're a prisoner, Janeway. We can put you in the brig of a ship just as easily as we can put you in a prison here."

"You could," she agreed easily, nodding, "but let's not forget, the last time someone told this anomaly that I was locked up in a brig, it didn't respond too kindly."

"And just how the hell do you know that?" he demanded, glaring at Nechayev.

Janeway gestured behind herself to where Meghan was seated. "My counselor is a telepath. As a matter of my personal safety, she was obligated to share that information with me."

"So," he glared at Meghan, "did you tell her everything?"

"She knows that you have no concern whatsoever for her safety," Meghan bit out, returning his glare tenfold.

"Counselor," Owen muttered quietly, warningly.

Rivers refocused on Janeway, thankful he could look away from the young Betazoid's penetrating eyes. "Well, Janeway, now you know there are lives at stake here, and yet you still put your pride before your duty. I guess now we know how you lost so many people from your crew. We should just consider ourselves lucky that we didn't have to put up with you during the Dominion War–"

"That's enough Rivers!" Bulloch growled and Rivers sat back in his chair with a sound of disgust.

Janeway's stomach roiled with Rivers' last comments, but she cleared her throat and forced herself to speak clearly. "Gentlemen and ma'am, bottom line…you need me more than I need you." She made eye contact with all of them. "We do this my way or not at all."

Only the creak of chairs could be heard as the admirals shifted in their seats. Garcia drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair while exchanging looks with his colleagues. Finally, he gave a small shake of his head. "A temporary reassignment of Voyager personnel still on active duty isn't going to be a problem. Most of them have chosen roles that have kept them near Earth, but are you confident that you can get the rest of your crew back?"

"I'm confident that I can get them to listen to me," Janeway allowed, "which is more than I can say they'll do if you send a Starfleet contingent to request their help."

"And if they don't agree?" Garcia asked.

"I'll still hold up my end of the deal. I'll go with only my Starfleet personnel to the designated coordinates and meet the distortion," she answered. "Try to put an end to this."

With his answering nod, Janeway knew she had Garcia's approval. He held out his hand for the PADD and Pernsen handed it to him, avoiding eye contact with Rivers. After what appeared to be another moment of deliberation, Garcia affixed his approval to the agreement. Rivers got to his feet and left the room in a huff, followed closely by Pernsen.

The other admirals stood, as did Owen and Meghan. Garcia collected the PADD from the dais. "It's going to take approximately thirty-six hours to get all the Earth-bound crew in place on Voyager and for the ship to be ready to go. You'll need to check in with security and get your status updated, but after that, you should still have time to put your personal affairs in order."

"Thank you, Admiral, but there is one more thing, sir," Janeway replied, glancing towards the doors Rivers had just exited through. "I want to see the brig logs from the last ship the entity encountered."

Garcia's face remained expressionless. "The Shakespeare's systems were damaged, Captain. There are no brig logs."

"I beg your pardon, sir, but I believe there may have been one or two recordings that were…salvageable."

Nechayev's eyes narrowed in Meghan's direction.

"Those records could be the difference between success and failure, sir," Janeway added firmly.

Nechayev regarded her shrewdly. "Suppose those records did exist, how would they possibly help this mission?"

"It could be anything," Janeway answered simply. "A single word may not make any sense right now but in the moment it may mean the difference between life and death." She set her jaw. She could tell that they didn't want her to see the recording because they thought she'd back out of the mission. They didn't know her very well. "We all know this thing wants me dead, but I owe it to my crew to insure their safety as much as possible."

"It'll take some time to get them cleared through security," Bulloch said as he tugged on his ear. Memories of someone else doing that same simple gesture flooded Kathryn's mind so much that she almost missed the rest of what he said, "as soon as I get them, I'll transmit them to you. You'll have everything, Captain. I promise you that."

Kathryn sucked in a quick breath and nodded her appreciation. "Thank you, sir."

Bulloch shook his head. "You have nothing to thank me for, Captain. It's us who should be thanking you."

No one in the room verbally acknowledged his comment, but Kathryn appreciated it nonetheless.

"Captain, be sure and take Counselor Vance with you to security," Garcia instructed, preparing again to leave the room. "They'll need to input her biometrics and issue her a comm. badge before you depart for the ship."

Meghan's head snapped up. "Wait. What?"

"Of course, sir," Janeway acknowledged the admiral while mentally bracing herself for Meghan's reaction. It hadn't been her idea to include Meghan, but she had been hoping to address that particular point of the agreement with the young counselor after the admirals departed. Now, Bulloch was eyeing the three of them suspiciously.

His bushy eyebrows pulled together as he addressed Meghan. "Well, young lady, you are the captain's counselor, aren't you?"

She sputtered, "Y-yes, but–"

"And you weren't planning on abandoning her now, were you?" he pressed.

Meghan's head turned towards Owen and Kathryn only to find neither one of them looking at her. She turned back to the admirals. "But you just cleared her for duty! You're sending her on a mission!"

"A mission that has a high probability of Captain Janeway experiencing psychological trauma…at the least," Nechayev replied stoically. "Your services will be needed, Counselor, if not for her then for her crew."

Meghan flinched at the words, but still managed to protest. "But I'm a civilian."

"Civilians can serve on starships," Bulloch retorted, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Hell, half the crew of this ship is going to be civilian."

Garcia did not seem as amused. "You can, of course, refuse, Counselor. We can assign a Starfleet counselor to the mission if need be."

Owen cleared his throat, and Meghan glared at him. He had the common sense to look slightly embarrassed. "Come on, Counselor," he tilted his head towards Kathryn, "you're the only one that's been willing to put up with her."

Meghan growled a little before seeking out the woman in question. Kathryn looked up at her this time and held her eye, but her mind was a complete blank slate. Grinding her teeth, Meghan knew it was on purpose. Janeway would never ask for her to come…but still those blue eyes were conveying some emotion. Worry. Concern.

"Counselor," Garcia interrupted the silent standoff, "do I need to make arrangements for another counselor?"

Meghan continued to hold Janeway's gaze. She didn't want to go into space, and she certainly didn't want to go into space with a captain that was going headlong into what amounted to a personal suicide mission. Watching as another person knowingly faced death was not what she had signed on for. She'd had enough of death. And even though she absolutely hated what she was about to do, she knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. Being in a confined space, surrounded by people that were expecting to confront death. She felt sweat break out on the back of her neck at the simple thought of it. She just…couldn't–

Kathryn's eyes flashed regret and she lowered them, breaking contact with Meghan. She knew. A grim smile of acceptance flitted across Janeway's face, and she gave a short jerk of her head before turning away to pick up her things from the table.

"Counselor?" Nechayev's voice broke the silence. Her tone alone asking the unspoken question.

Meghan turned towards the waiting admirals, her heart in her throat as she answered quietly. "I'll go."