"Hey Dave.. Dirk went out to get a few things and he forgot to tell me where he put the cleanser for my glasses. Could yo-"
The door to my bedroom opens and Jake stares wide eyed with fear. "D-Dave?!"
Heh. His voice is even full of fear.
"Dave! Dave please get up!" He's kneeling over me now, holding my head in his lap as blood pours down my arm. How did I get this way? Funny story actually...
You see.. I saw Dirk and Jake kiss yesterday. Yeah, I know, stupid reason to try and kill myself.. But that's not everything that happened so I'll start from the beginning.
It was about, I'd have to say seven thirty yesterday morning.. I was thirsty, my apple juice was out in the kitchen, so I got up and went to get some. But.. I didn't get any apple juice. Instead... I found Dirk and Jake, making out in the kitchen. The kiss was full of tongues and I could see pretty much everything as they both grabbed at each other's hips and backs. I wanted to throw up.. I wanted to die right there and then.. But Dirk stopped me with an apology. He said he was sorry I had to see that but I knew he only said that because he was embarrassed. He was letting down his cool to Jake and that was something he didn't do... Even around me. It hurt... and I openly refused to eat for the rest of the day, using the excuse "I'm not hungry.".
That was only the beginning of my worst day though... Because it kept happening. Dirk would kiss Jake's cheek... Jake would kiss his nose... They'd get into tickle fights... And I even caught them making out another five times before dinner. Then they ate... Totally ignoring the fact that I wasn't eating too.
The worst part of all though... Was when the lights went out.
It must've been about ten, maybe eleven o'clock... I had said goodnight about an hour earlier and everything in the apartment was quiet. That is... Until I heard Jakes voice again.
"Dirk.. We really shouldn't. What if Dave wakes up?"
"He won't.. He never does."
"Are you sure..?"
"Promise."
My heart sunk at the next part... Jake's voice ringing loud and clear from down the hall..
"D-Dirk.!"
"Shh... It's ok. Just trust me.."
"O-ok... Just be c-careful.."
"Mm~ I will be~"
A loud moan rang out through the hall and I immediately knew what was happening. My stomach did flips and my heart broke as the noises escalated. Then.. the noises came from both Jake and Dirk and I couldn't take it anymore. I began to cry harshly into my pillow as the noises continued... When I fell asleep I don't know. But when I woke up in the morning to the sound of Dirk leaving I was sure I was alone in the apartment.
I grabbed my razor... Stared at it... Thought hard about how I was to cut myself this time... But instead... Something else happened.
I remembered his voice... the way he talked to Jake last night like nothing else in the world mattered. I remembered how he kissed Jake... how he hugged him... And I remembered the noises that had come from his bedroom last night.
And... I don't know... I guess I just couldn't take it any more. The blade was dull... So it hurt like a bitch... But after a few moments, everything went numb. My hands... my feet... everything. I knew what I had done and there was no going back but... I was happy.
I was happy because I knew it was over. The pain... the hunger... the loneliness.. It would all be over. I wouldn't have to watch Dirk and Jake be together and I wouldn't have to watch John be with Karkat either. I'd just leave... go out like a light... and no one would have to deal with me anymore.
But even death isn't easy... Because it turns out Dirk left Jake here... and now... The asshole is crying and holding me close and dialing 911 and all I can do is drift further away as he shakes me to keep me awake.
"Dirk! Oh good g-golly! You need to get h-here now! D-Dave's- There's blood everywhere and- Just come! P-please!" He puts his cell phone away and I watch through clouded eyes as he desperately tries to stop the bleeding in my wrist and I hope.. or rather pray, that the ambulance won't get here in time.
But it does... And the medics work fast to get me in the vehicle and off to the hospital. They stick needles in me and they pump oxygen into my lungs, forcing my body to stay alive.. And then everything goes black and... I'm finally free..
Or...
At least I think I am..