"Laundry Day" and the over-all plot of "Laundry Day" is copyright Orin Drake 2007. All characters contained within are owned forever and ever by Square-Enix and the Final Fantasy name.

Background: Alright, well... it came from a joke of mine that goes something like, you don't have to wash jeans until they're standing up on their own--but you definitely have to wash them before they start to run away. Then somebody just had to mention Zack and Reno and automatically my mind goes "Cloud and laundry somehow go together" and... I... don't know. It's silly, stupid, completely dumb CRACK (Cloud+Reno+Zack).

Laundry Day
by Orin Drake

It was a mostly unspoken, private bet, dealing mainly with who could wait the longest before giving up and being forced to wash their laundry. Cloud thought it was disgusting, and said as much. Zack and Reno would only grin and wave him along as the game continued.

Zack was generally clean, for a SOLDIER. Sure he had his rolls in the mud and sweaty training sessions, but he was more than capable of using a little soap and water. Regardless of the countless jokes made at the expense of his hair, he liked to look good. And smell good. He just... really hated to do laundry.

As for Reno... well. Not really adverse to a little sweat and grime--but he did make the effort to be mostly clean when he wasn't on duty. ...Mostly. He was a Turk. Unless you were Tseng, you just... didn't do laundry when you were a Turk. Boy did he have stories about Rosalind's undershirt...

And so it was with a great deal of shock that they both entered Zack's apartment at the end of a long day and start of a relaxing weekend... and saw no laundry piles. The closet and bureau were full of Zack's clean laundry, the chair in the corner stacked tall with Reno's folded clothes. It was all very... bizarre.

As they gazed at the wonder before them, the front door opened and closed, then a set of keys were tossed on the table. "You guys here yet?"

It was a mutual realization: "Cloud." The other two inhabitants quickly rushed to question the blond... but it seemed that he saw it coming.

"The jeans could stand up by themselves." He defended instantly.

Zack blinked. That was his excuse for doing the laundry? "So?"

Clouds hands immediately went to his hips as his eyes narrowed, tone chiding. "So they started walking. On their own."

Reno snorted at the idea. "Did you have to beat 'em down?"

The blond's words were simply too perfectly serious. Angry, even. "No, Most of the jeans just kinda ran around for a while before I managed to get them into a bag. But one of them came straight at me. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, then it turned and ran. And managed to wiggle beneath the door. I had to run to catch up, and then I had to tackle someone's revolting jeans and wrestle them back here."

The SOLDIER and the Turk exchanged a slightly disturbed look. "You're kidding." Zack attempted to make himself sound certain.

"No." Cloud dismissed, hands still at his hips. "What else, on the entire planet, would make me even think of touching your disgusting mutual pile of filthy clothes? I thought the jeans were going to kill someone. I thought the jeans were going to kill me."

Okay, well... that was a pretty good reason to finally do the laundry, Zack had to admit. It did sort of ruin their fun, though. "But... Cloud. There's a very good reason we wait that long."

Still in a bit of a huff, the blond only glared. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Reno pipped up. "First one to completely run out of clothes has to wear a dress while they do the laundry. All of it."

The terror still hadn't quite hit by the time Cloud was able to respond. "Oh."

And then those words. Those most dangerous, nightmarish words to ever be spoken by a Turk--especially that one. "Hey, I got an idea."

Zack didn't help. "Cheerleader uniform?"

"Oh yeah."

It was somewhere between arguing over what shoes went best with the miniskirt and half-shirt, and whether or not Cloud's hair should be in pigtails or barrettes that the poor boy decided that he just couldn't win. At least he already got the laundry done. And it wasn't as if the uniform stayed on all that long, anyway. The long socks were kinda comfy, though.