INT. CHOIR ROOM
The New Directions sat gathered in the choir room when Will walked in.
"Hey guys, great news!" Will exclaimed. "The National Show Choir Board has just informed me that Katy Perry and Lady Gaga have both stepped up as sponsors for my rewritten arts curriculum campaign!"
"That's amazing!" Marley remarked.
"So, both of them have offered up one of their secret works to us as National champions. Lady Gaga is working on a song entitled, 'Applause,' while Katy Perry is working on a song entitled 'Roar.'
"Still team Gaga," Kitty yawned.
Will began passing out the sheet music to both songs.
"Wow, this song looks like a great contender for Team Katy to perform as Lady Gaga," Blaine said in regards to 'Applause.'
"Not so sure about this 'Roar' song," Unique said. "It sounds really jungle-y and gimmick-y. Do we really want to perform this?"
"Well, these are just ideas to toss around," Will said. "They don't have to be the songs for your assignments, but these are amazing gifts from two exceptionally talented women. The songs won't even be released until summer, so count this as a blessing! Katy Perry also added that, since we won Nationals in the 2011-2012 school year, anyone who was part of the team at that time is granted private access to this music, but we will be fined if it goes viral, so be careful."
"So, I assume Team Katy is performing 'Applause'?" Tina asked.
"Sure are!" Sam exclaimed. "And I think I know how to get Penny to come see the performance…"
"Not another reference to True Jackson V.P., is it?" Blaine asked.
"True Jackson V.P.?" Artie chortled. "That was so eighth grade, dude!"
"Like I said, Nickelodeon canceled it because they don't care about quality entertainment," Sam muttered.
"Oh my gosh, I agree!" Marley whined. "I mean, Victorious got cancelled! Do you know how much I loved that show? It was about a young girl who gets accepted to a performing arts high school where she begins to fulfill her dream of becoming a singer-songwriter-actress!"
"Story of my life!" she and Tina exclaimed together.
"And Nickelodeon went ahead and canceled it because their standard is three seasons per show," Tina spat.
"But look at iCarly! That went on for way longer, and that show ended too!" Marley cried.
"Okay, guys, can we quit whining about canceled TV shows and start talking about how we're going to perform this stuff?" Ryder asked.
"Nickelodeon and Disney are unforgivable," Unique said with a snap of her fingers before flipping open a Katy Gaga book.
INT. CHORUS CLASSROOM
Rachel and Kurt sat in class together, waiting for Madam Tibideaux to arrive for class.
"So, have you caught up on all her assignments?" Rachel asked.
"I did; sure took long enough," Kurt whispered.
"So, any luck tracking down Starchild?" Rachel asked.
Kurt sighed and shook his head. "Now I feel so guilty. I let my personal jealousy get in the way and now he's gone; maybe for good."
The class quieted as Madam Tibideaux entered the room.
"Good morning, students," she said, opening up her briefcase and setting down some notes for the student pianist. "I trust you are all ready to perform your pieces for the week? This one performance is worth 10% of your grade, so please do not mess it up. Ms. Berry, you are first."
Rachel gulped and handed her sheet music over to the pianist.
"Good morning," Rachel said to the class. "So, um… I chose this song because we've been learning about connecting emotionally to the songs we sing, and how crucial it is to sing with honesty, and I felt that this song portrayed exactly that."
Song: "The One That Got Away" by Katy Perry, arrangement by Sylvia Yacoub
Summer after high school when we first met
We make out in your Mustang to Radiohead
And on my 18th Birthday
We got matching tattoos
Used to steal your parents' liquor
And climb to the roof
Talk about our future
Like we had a clue
Never planned that one day
I'd be losing you
In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I won't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other, we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you
I put those records on (Whoa)
Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown singing the Blues
It's time to face the music
I'm no longer your muse
But in another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I won't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
[Bridge:]
'Cause all this money can't buy me a time machine (Nooooo)
Can't replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)
I should've told you what you meant to me (Whoa)
'Cause now I pay the price
'Cause in another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I won't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
The o-o-o-o-o-one [x3]
In another life
I would make you stay
So I won't have to say
You were the one that got away
The one that got away
Rachel smiled at the class's applause as she wiped the tears out of her eyes. Kurt was also crying heavily. He stood up to hug Rachel before they both sat down.
"Great job, Ms. Berry," Carmen said. Rachel could have sworn she heard a stifled sob in her voice.
"You and Finn didn't get matching tattoos on your 18th birthday; how was that honesty?" Kurt joked.
Rachel giggled and laid her head on Kurt's shoulder.
"My, my, my, Rachel, you've proven that you can miss classes on and off for a month and still blow the rest of the class out of the water!" the black sycophant criticized.
"Your rendition of Sylvia Yacoub's performance of this song from Season 3 of The Voice was stunning," the white sycophant said. "You might consider doing her version of 'My Heart Will Go On.'"
Rachel and Kurt rolled their eyes.
"They're just scared they're going to fail because we set the curve so high," Kurt muttered.
EXT. MCKINLEY GRASSY AREA – NIGHT TIME
Bree and Jake were lying on Bree's coat on the ground, looking up at the stars.
"So, how do you know about this place?" Jake asked.
"It's where Coach Sue used to let the Cheerios tan," Bree explained. "But no one's used it since Quinn Fabray and Santana Lopez got their tanning privileges taken away from Coach Sue because they failed to destroy the Glee Club back in their sophomore year. Coach Roz doesn't know about it either, neither does this generation of Cheerios. I only know about it because as a 7th grader I would troll around the campus looking for Cheerios to idolize. But let's quit talking about me, and let's get back to you. Don't think I'm an idiot, Puckerman. I happen to know that you had full patience in dating Marley but it finally broke tonight because she wouldn't go all the way with you and your hormones were ravaging your mind extra hard this afternoon, so you came crawling to me. Now, you started dating Marley in, say, September, which means you've been abstinent for about nine months now! I am very impressed, Puckerman, seeing as you drilled through five other girls multiple times before you met Marley. Now, you can consider this a form of blackmail all you want, but there is a reason I showed up at school with caution tape covering my lady bits; it's because I know what I like, Puckerman, and your chiseled chest, shoulders, and biceps are too good to pass up. Now, let's get this clear. I occupy a certain high hierarchy in these halls, and this is what I like to call bitch marking her territory. So let it be known, Puckerman. If you ever step onto my dark side, you can be sure Marley knows the full details of your life tonight in a graphic flash."
Jake sighed as he soaked in all those words. How did Bree rant so clearly?
"Okay, I'd better get home," Bree said, standing up and walking away.
INT. MARLEY'S ROOM
Marley sighed as she checked her phone for the hundredth time in the past three hours. Where was Jake?
Marley went over and looked at herself in the mirror.
"Quit victimizing yourself, Marley Rose. A year ago you were a shy hopeless loner who had no friends, eating lunch by herself underneath the library windowsill, nervous about transferring to a new school for sophomore year. Now you're here. Sure, maybe the first semester didn't go so well, but what about second semester? A winning duet singer at Regionals, where your own song was showcased. Now you're almost a junior, and the skies have never looked clearer. So what if you totally blew off today's assignment? Lady Gaga has always been about loving yourself no matter what other people think. The crazy outfits she wears isn't about showing off as much skin as you can, like Sam thinks; rather, it's about self-expression. Showing up to that performance as Katy is just an out-of-the-box way to interpret that. But, an assignment is an assignment. There's got to be a Gaga song that summarizes your Katy Perry feelings perfectly."
Meanwhile, Santana and Dani were slumped onto the couch. Dani was trying to learn guitar chords for a new Gaga song.
And a few miles away, Kurt was taking the stage for his Chorus 101 assignment.
Song: "Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)" by Lady Gaga
{Marley is wearing a more wholesome Gaga outfit: a whitish-blonde wig with a cyan tank top. Kurt, on the other hand, is wearing a silvery wig with black shades and a glam silvery top, just like the one Gaga wore in her music video of this song.}
Santana: Cherry cherry, boom boom, GaGa
Marley: Boy, we've had a real' good time
And I wish you the best on your way
Eh eh
I didn't mean to hurt you
I never thought we'd fall out of place
Eh eh, hey ey
Kurt: I had something that I love long
But my friends keep telling me that something's wrong
Then I met someone
And eh, there's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
I wish you'd never looked at me that way
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
Dani: Not that I don't care about you
Just that things got so compliquées
Eh eh
Santana: I met somebody cute and funny
got each other and that's funny
Eh eh, hey ey
Marley: I had something that I love long
But my friends keep telling me that something's wrong
Then I met someone
And eh, there's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
I wish you'd never looked at me that way
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
Dani & Santana: (Eh eh, eh eh, eh eh...)
Santana: I had something that I love long
But my friends keep telling me that something's wrong
Then I met someone
Dani: And eh, there's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
Eh eh, eh eh
Santana: There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
Dani: I wish you'd never looked at me that way
Eh eh, eh eh
Kurt: There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
Dani: I wish you'd never looked at me that way
Eh eh, eh eh
Marley: There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
Kurt: (Cherry cherry, boom boom)
Santana: Eh eh, hey ey
Oh yeah
Dani: All I can say is eh eh
"So what do you think; will that work for our first rehearsal?" Dani asked.
"Nope," Santana said flatly. "We need something that represents us more. We don't even have a name yet. I'm serious; what is wrong with The Apocalipsticks?"
INT. CHOIR ROOM
Marley walked into the room, and just as she was about to go to apologize to Jake, Tina burst in.
"Throat Explosion just tweeted that they're doing 'Applause' as one of their Nationals numbers!" she screamed.
After all the ruckus subsided, Marley asked the dreaded question, "How did they even get the sheet music?"
"Apparently they all went to a Lady Gaga performance together and she saw them all in her costumes in the front row and she gave them the music!" Tina exclaimed. "This is so unfair! They're going to smash us at Nationals!"
INT. LOFT
"Okay, now that we've got our name figured out, what song are we going to rehearse first?" Elliot asked.
"How about… 'Hot N' Cold' by Katy Perry?" Dani asked.
"Katy Perry sounds great, but Tina just sent me a PDF of some sheet music the New Directions got as a gift from Katy Perry for winning Nationals last year," Rachel said with a grin, handing it around.
"Rachel, this is perfect!" Kurt exclaimed.
"Well, then let's get to it!" Santana beckoned excitedly.