I was in another lifetime one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form
"Come in" she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm".

Steve stood outside the main door of the SHIELD facility, his hands in his pocket and his eyes scanning the cars that drove by on the street. He often wondered why the facility was so out in the open, but looking up at in now he could see why it didn't stand out too much. It was just like a regular building except it was quite large, but in New York City, it fit right in.

Glancing back to the main door for a moment, Steve wondered if Hayley had changed her mind about this arrangement already. When they both agreed to the offer after a day of thinking it over, Blake had instructed them to move at their own pace and work on small things first, but neither Steve or Hayley knew how to begin this process. Hayley wasn't an agent, she didn't know the proper protocol even after Blake tried explaining it to her, and Steve hadn't had a friend in this world since he woke up, he didn't know how he was going to be able to help her in return.

Hayley was hurrying down the stairs from her apartment, sure that she was late for meeting Steve. One of the troubles with being unable to sleep was that she often had scattered 10 minute naps that she unsurprisingly woke up from with her heart beating faster than ever, but this morning was even worse when she remembered it was the day that the assignment began.

Just like Steve, Hayley wasn't sure what was going to happen or how they were going to begin, but she had made a decision the night before as she lay awake thinking about the whole thing. She wasn't going to treat it like a mission or as if she was given orders, she was just going to treat it like a friendship. It was the only way to make both her and Steve feel normal since it was clear to both of them that SHIELD saw them as impaired.

Rushing out the main door, Hayley was rather relieved to see Steve standing there looking around, waiting.

''I'm late, sorry,'' Hayley walked over to him, shaking her head.

''No it's fine,'' Steve shook his head, watching as she squinted toward the morning sun.

This was the first time they'd seen one another since they had agreed with SHIELD. Blake had organized for them to meet up that morning and begin whatever they were supposed to do, which was why right now they were standing in silence. Neither of them knew what to say first. It shouldn't have felt this awkward, but Hayley decided to push past it.

''Well, I'll be the first to say this is weird,'' she told him.

''It is a bit, yeah,'' Steve agreed with a smile. ''Could have been worse though,''

''SHIELD invading our privacy not bad enough?''

''They could have made us keep going to therapy,''

Hayley stared at him for a moment before a smile pulled at her lips, chuckling as she began to walk.

''Come on, might as well do something with the day,'' she turned to him, seeing that he was already following behind.

Steve walked by her side down the street, wondering where they were going after taking numerous turns. The most exploring of New York he had done so far was walking a few blocks from the facility to the gym, but Hayley knew this city a lot better than he did. They passed stores that specialized in selling products he had never heard of, walked by people in costumes he didn't understand and saw more things in the twenty minute walk than he had since waking up.

Hayley noticed his confusion with everything they passed, but she didn't want to start the day by lecturing him on everything they saw. Steve wasn't a child, he understood very well that he had missed a lot of things while he was in the ice and Hayley wasn't going to baby him over it. She understood what her role was in this assignment though, however she had her own methods.

They continued walking until their surroundings became busier, the sidewalk much more crowded and the buildings a lot taller. Steve could feel his heart beating faster in his chest as he looked up at the flashing lights and screens on the side of the buildings, the sight reminding him of the first thing he saw when he woke up in this new world.

''Terrifying, right?'' Hayley looked up at him, folding her arms and making sure he was okay.

''It's not that bad,'' Steve responded in a voice just louder than a whisper, his hands slipping back into his pocket.

''You don't have to lie to me,'' she shook her head, looking back to the buildings.

Steve took a moment to process how crazy this environment was. He remembered running out into the street and seeing this, his first vision of the world since 1945, and he remembered it being just as busy that day as it was now. However with the adrenaline of waking up, having Nick Fury chase him into the street, he hardly had enough time or knowledge to realize how insane it all was.

Cars honked their horns, people yelled at one another and advertisements roared around him as the noises swirled in his head. He didn't know why she had brought him back here, Steve was sure he wasn't going to be able to stay here much longer. However when Hayley grabbed his arm and turned his attention to her, the noises around him softened slightly when she began talking.

''Steve, this is Times Square in New York City, one of the busiest, craziest and most technology-fueled places in the world,'' she began, holding his attention. ''This is as bad as it gets,''

''Why are we here then?'' he asked.

''Because if you can stand here and stay calm, you're gonna be just fine,'' she explained with a smile. ''I promise,''

Steve looked back at her with a nod, appreciating her faith in him even when he wasn't so sure himself. He had done a lot of unimaginable things in his life and Steve was sure there was nothing that would surprise or overwhelm him much anymore, but that was before he woke up. However he had a feeling he was indeed going to be just fine.

After walking around for a few minutes in the city, Hayley figured they might as well get a start back to the quieter streets. She wasn't a fan of the busy city either and she figured Steve had seen enough of it for now. She wanted him to know that Times Square was truly the craziest it was going to get in his world, that what he was dealing with didn't have to seem as complicated. Hayley just hoped she could help him through this. Steve had told her about refusing SHIELD's help and wanting to do this all on his own, but when she saw his face in the street just now and the confusion in his eyes, she knew that he wasn't okay.

Steve remained quiet as they walked further and further away from the busy area, wondering how so many people could fit in just a few streets. Before starting this day, Steve had no idea how Hayley was going to start this process. She was unreadable, he couldn't predict what she was going to be like and he was happily surprised that it didn't feel like the beginning of a lengthy mission, instead it felt like a friendship.

''You know New York pretty well,''

Hayley shrugged as they walked, looking over the traffic that passed.

''Well enough,''

''Did you grow up here?''

''No, I grew up in Chicago. I'm used to busy streets, but I still hate them,'' she huffed, people brushing against her shoulder as they passed. ''You did though, didn't you?''

''In Brooklyn, yeah,'' Steve nodded. ''Wasn't anywhere near this busy back then,''

''Have you been back?''

''No, not yet,'' he shook his head.

''We could go one day, if you want,''

''Yeah, that'd be good,''

They continued walking a few more streets in silence, slowly entering roads with fewer people. The entire city of New York was busy, but after being in Times Square it really put things into perspective. Steve was glad that he had gone back there and seen it for what it was. When he woke up and ran into the busy street, his mind was going that fast he couldn't process anything. But Hayley had assured him if he could stand there around all of that chaos he could get through everything else and Steve believed her.

As they continued their walk, Hayley began explaining to Steve that she really didn't have a plan for this whole thing. If he needed help with something he was unsure of, he was going to have to ask her about it. She couldn't read his mind and if this was going to work he had to stop being so stubborn about doing this all on his own. However, her lecture was brief, just wanting Steve to know that she would help him with anything, but he had to let her know.

Steve wanted to tell her the same thing, that she could talk to him about what she was going through or ask him for help, but he didn't know how to bring it up, and maybe he wasn't supposed to.

''Want a hotdog?'' Hayley asked, pointing at the vendor at the corner. ''I think you're the only person that can actually settle the debate on whether or not they've gone downhill or improved since the '40s, ''

Steve couldn't help the genuine laugh that escaped his lips. He was slowly realizing that one of the reasons he was more comfortable around Hayley was that she didn't give him pity over his situation. She didn't apologize for the inconvenience of him waking up almost 70 years later into the future, instead she spoke about it as if it was a common thing. He didn't feel so alienated around her.

''That's a lot of pressure,''

Hayley grinned as she walked over to the vendor, returning to him a few moments later and handing him the food. They were standing on the side of the road in the shade of the buildings, watching as the cars sped past and people continued on with their day. Everything seemed so normal. Steve hadn't felt that in a long time and Hayley didn't even know if she was capable of of it anymore, but here they were.

Eating in silence, Hayley and Steve both leaned back onto the building behind them and relaxed, observing everyone else around them. Steve would never grow bored of watching how much things had changed, but he was getting better at accepting it now. It had only been a few hours into their first day and Steve was already noticing how easier things were with Hayley.

''So what's the verdict?'' Hayley asked, her mouth still full of bread. ''Better or worse?''

''Well, considering I ate exactly three of these at Coney Island in 1940 and threw up, I haven't got much to go on,'' he explained, scrunching up the piece of paper in his hands. ''But they taste almost the same,''

Hayley shrugged, taking the last bite of her hotdog.

''I guess some things don't change,''

Despite her worries over the day, Hayley was surprised at how well it went. After they had finished walking around the city and the sun began to set, they both walked back to the facility and parted ways once inside. It didn't feel like it had been the first day of an assignment, it didn't even feel like they were doing anything because SHIELD made them, it was nothing like that. It was relaxing and it was easy.

Hayley hadn't had a day like that in a long time. Every day was the same to her and it usually consisted of being on her own. Being around Steve today made her realize how much she missed being happy. Joking with Steve and talking about things that didn't involve SHIELD, working out, training, field work or anything like that was surprisingly refreshing. It reminded her that her life wasn't always like this, that these past few months hadn't always been her life.

But once she was back in her apartment and alone again, all those happy thoughts in her mind faded away back to the darkness that had been plaguing her. She had tried to push past the thoughts and fall asleep, but she knew it was a waste of time.

The echoes of the guns, the rattling of the ground beneath her feet every time a bomb went off, the voices that called out to her and finally the feeling of warm blood on her skin all added up to Hayley jolting straight up in her bed, gasping for air. Her loud panting lasted a few seconds before she realized she was covered in sweat, her hair matted to her forehead and her skin radiating heat.

Throwing the blankets from her body, Hayley rushed into the bathroom and while fully clothed in her pajamas, stepped into the shower and turned on the icy cold water. She had found it to be a helpful remedy when waking up like that, but it was torturous. Her whole body trembled underneath the water in response to both her nightmare and the chill of the droplets, but she couldn't bring herself step back out yet. She had lost count of how many times she had repeated this routine, but it was only a cruel reminder that no matter how many good days she had, her horrors wouldn't stop following her.

Blake arrived at Hayley's apartment the next morning at eight to find her in the kitchen starting at a glass of green mush.

''What's that?'' he asked, walking over and taking his usual seat on the other side of the bench.

''A smoothie. But I changed the recipe about three times since I started so I have no idea what it is now,''

With a disgusted look on his face, Blake watched as Hayley drank the mixture, a blank expression on her face once she was done. Hayley was still against taking the pills that Dr Rafferty had prescribed to help her sleep and calm down, but she had grown desperate enough to research other methods. After spending three hours at the gym earlier in the morning when she had given up trying to sleep again, she had found a concoction that was supposed to help. However the taste might not have been worth it.

''No,'' she shook her head, sliding the glass away from her. ''Bad idea,''

Blake chuckled and shook his head.

''So how was yesterday?''

''It was fine,'' she shrugged.

''Really? I had a feeling you wouldn't exactly have a plan for it,'' Blake told her. ''I mean, you didn't seem excited or anything,''

''It's not really something to get excited about,''

''Excited for an assignment is what I meant. Being busy,'' he explained.

Hayley looked at him for a moment, wondering if he even understood that this assignment involved her having to help Steve adjust to this world, it wasn't supposed to be pleasant all the time. this was his life. However she understood he would be happy to see her busy after everything he had watched her go through.

''It's just a distraction,'' Hayley told him. ''I'm not stupid, I know that's one of the many reasons SHIELD gave me this. I want to and will help Steve, but I'm not giving up on what I want Blake,''

The man sighed, almost rolling his eyes at the fact that she wouldn't let it go. He understood she wanted to get back into things the way they were, but things couldn't just work out like that.

''O'Connor, you're not getting back onto the field until you're approved by Rafferty and right now-''

''Right now it's not happening, I know that,'' she snapped. ''Blake I've been fighting for almost five years of my life, I'm not ready to walk away from it yet,''

''Maybe you need to,'' he suggested.

Hayley glared at him and shook her head.

''You don't get to decide that, only I get to. I'd be a lot better at proving I'm ready to go back if Coulson would give me clearance to train,''

''You keep forgetting you have PTSD,'' he reminded her. ''You have to take care of yourself before you get back into training,''

''The only way to take care of myself is to get back into training! I need my old routine back,'' she tried to explain.

Blake desperately wanted to make it clear to her that she wasn't ready to go back, but he thought it might be best if that news came from her own realization. He had seen agents with PTSD coming back to work and they couldn't handle it. Certain things would trigger their memories of trauma and that's what it took for them to see that they needed help.

Hayley was a stubborn woman, possibly the most strong-willed person he knew, and she wasn't going to keep accepting SHIELD's refusal. She would keep bringing it up and pressing the issue because she was so convinced that getting back into the field was the right move, she hadn't even stopped to think about what would happen if she really was back out there.

''Fine,''

Hayley looked back at her friend with a confused expression, wondering what he was answering.

''What's fine?''

''You want to get back into training? Tomorrow I'll take you out to the ranges and we'll see how it goes,''

''Really?'' she asked. ''Just like that you'll take me out there?''

''Yeah, if you think you're so ready, why not?''

Hayley thought for a moment, trying to figure out why he had suddenly offered such a thing, but it was best not to argue it.

''I'm ready,''

*Shelter From The Storm - Bob Dylan

Thanks for reading guys! Also if you want to know the inspiration for this story and where the title came from, listen to Mess Is Mine by Vance Joy, it's the perfect song for this story :)