Right back to Camelot for this chapter.

I was originally going to put this and the next chapter together but had too much to write and I like keeping you on cliffhangers.

Reply to reviews:

sjritts - thanks for thinking Gilli was a good idea. He was the first one to come to mind but then I was tied between him and George. However in the end I knew that Morgana had kinda meet Gilli. I would have loved to see Gilli again too. Glad I managed to write them so well. I had originally just put random dates in for the other characters but then I thought about making them have certain events to be joined with. Well this is part 1 of 2 of the answer to the question.

yesthenLucky9 - thanks, glad you liked them as I have said I had originally just put random dates in for the other characters but then I thought about making them have certain events to be joined with. Also I think it shows that they all still have the same mannerism even though they are technically different people.

MegamiTenshiHime - I suppose it is but there relationship was always complicated anyway :)

Renaissancebooklover108 - I would have a couple of tissues out.

'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

Chapter 4

Merlin looked out on the lake for a moment longer. That was it. 7 years of being in Camelot. 7 years of following one destiny. 7 years of losing people close to him. 7 years for nothing. Arthur had never brought about the golden age that the dragon promised. He had died after 7 years of knowing him.

Merlin knew that he couldn't go back to Camelot for a while. He couldn't face Gwen at this moment in time. He was meant to protect Arthur and he knew that Gaius would have told Gwen about that.

His thoughts went to a body lying in the forest.

Merlin bowed to the lake and left. Whispering that he would return.

His feet took him there automatically and before he knew it he was kneel down beside the body of his lover.

The first thing that Merlin did was to close Morgana's eyes. They had already lost the emerald green ages ago, after she was with the Sarrum.

Merlin knew it was wrong but couldn't help but taste her lips one more time.

He had already grieved Arthur now it was his time to grieve for Morgana. He had wished that he could have done it when her body was still slightly warm but Arthur would had died next to her and wouldn't have enjoyed watching the affection that Merlin would have wanted to give the dead woman.

"I kept it my love. To be honest, I didn't think that I had it in me." Merlin now had tears running down his face. "The thing that I never promised you was where I would bury you. I will take you to your father. I would think that is where you would want to be laid to rest. I will finally take you home."

Merlin picked her up and carried her all the way to the edge of the darkling woods. What he didn't expect was the few red and gold capes that were there when he arrived.

"We thought that you would bury her here." The queen said.

Merlin gave a small smile to his only friend left.

He laid Morgana down and grabbed the shovel that was lying on the floor and started to dig.

"Merlin , can't you ..."

Merlin stopped. "Even so Gwen, I don't want to. I have seen her doing tasks that could be done with magic by hand. I have hidden my magic for too long. She would have dug Mordred's grave, as I will dig hers. It's my fault that everything happened to her. I need some relief form it."

Gwen look at her friend.

"Why didn't you send her to Avalon like you do everyone else?" Gaius said.

Merlin started to dig again. Other than himself he blamed Gaius for Morgana's downfall into insanity. "Because I know that she would have wanted to be next to her father. After I helped her escape from the Sarrum, I promised her I would take her home, no matter what the cost. I don't mean Camelot. I was going to take her to her father's old estate. We never found the time due to wars and her recovery. This is the close that I can take her home."

Everyone offered him help but Merlin turned them down. It was his fault that Morgana was dead, it was his fault that Arthur was death, he could even blame himself for Gwaine's death, it was just all his fault.

When he had finished he placed her in there and called Athuisa, if she would answer his call. Merlin not only wanted Aithusa here for this moment but knew that she had to be here. The things they when through together was unimaginable.

Merlin wanted to wait longer but Gwen was worried for her friend and said that they should finish up.

Merlin had only put on shovel full of dirt onto Morgana's body when Aithusa's screeching came from the sky.

Merlin moved back as did everyone else. Merlin had very little control of the dragon and had very little idea what she would do once she had seen.

Aithusa landed by the grave and placed her head slightly inside

"Aithusa." Merlin said. "I am so sorry darling." Merlin held out his hand to go towards Aithusa.

He managed to reach her and kneel beside her. "It's all my fault but she had asked for this. She asked me to do it. I didn't want to." Merlin wiped his face.

Aithusa brought her head out of the grave and placed it on Merlin's lap.

"She would have wanted me to be with you." Aithusa said to him through their bond. "I shouldn't be angry at you. I know how broken she was."

"We will bury her together." Merlin said stroking the young dragons head.

Merlin got up and Aithusa pushed most of the mud in with her tail.

Together they got stones to put as a headstone.

"Ádihtan on stán*" Merlin said raising his hand to the stone.

Merlin lowered his hand to his his handy work.

Printed on the stone was 'Frécne beornia Morgana le Fay. Déhter, suster, hlæfdge, frénd, lufestre, feónd, feohtend. Séo endeláf sácerd of séo ældu godgild.'

"Is that..."

"Old English, the speak of the old religion. Obviously you can read her name."

"Not many people are going to know what it says." Gwen argued.

"Does it matter? I know what it says." Merlin said adamantly. He didn't need anyone else to read it.

"Then what does it say."

Merlin closed his eyes. He knew what exactly to put as he was walking with Morgana's body. "Here lies Morgana le Fay. Daughter, sister, lady, friend, lover, foe, fighter. The Last priestess of the old religion."

"Maybe you should put 'Sometimes you've got to do what you think is right, and damn the consequences.' I believe that is what she lived by and it eventually made her go insane and killed her."

"I made her insane, I killed her." Merlin said at the same time putting Morgana's life meaning on the stone.

"Merlin." Gaius said. "Don't blame yourself."

Merlin turned to his mentor. "Don't worry, I don't just blame myself. I blame you and Killgharrah as well."

Merlin then turned his back on his friends.

"Merlin! Merlin!" Gwen shouted after him. "Merlin we need you."

Merlin stopped and looked over his shoulder. "You may need me, but I cannot face you." Merlin swallowed. "I need some time away. Some time to think. I also have things to do."

"Where will you go?"

Merlin just looked with sad eyes. "I don't know."

Merlin resumed on his journey. It was too soon to go back to the lake of Avalon but he had to say a goodbye to one person. One person that changed everything.

It wasn't very hard to find Mordred's grave. Morgana had left the sword that killed Arthur on it.

"Gehyrdan ælmesæcer**" Merlin said, watching the ground glow gold.

Merlin looked up at the offending metal. That's what Morgana meant by 'I am sorry for what I am going to do'. It may have been for taking his magic but Morgana knew better than anyone that it was for killing Arthur. But this is how it was meant to end.

"Why did I have to be so stupid?" Merlin said falling to his knees, gripping his hair. He knew that he was going to go mad.

"Why did I let you go?" Merlin said looking up at the sword.

"I kept asking myself why and I know why, its because destiny has played me this way. I am no more a piece in her game as you was. The bloody dragon didn't help. I don't even think killing you at any point would have helped. I should have allowed you to be loyal to Arthur."

Merlin knew he had a few things to sort out. The Saxons from taking over Ablion, sorting out the few things that Morgana had, his own grief for his lover and friend.

"What went so wrong? Where did it go so wrong? Why did it go so wrong?"

Unfortunately Merlin knew most of the answers.

*Write on stone

** Strengthen ground