Author's Note: Sorry this was so very late. I'll do better, my darlings. Stay with me.
The next morning at service, Dina yawns as she takes a spot in the center, second row. She's in a black boots, black dress pants and a sleeveless red blouse with little ruffles around arm holes. It was more than she bothered with for Sunday service since she got here.
Bouncing her leg and feeling antsy, Dina watches the pews around her fill in with sleepy students. She feels over-dressed even though there were girls in skirts and dresses everywhere but for her this was different. This was giving a shit and she was a little annoyed with herself that she'd dress up for someone else.
That thought promptly flies out the door when the choir entrance opens up ahead, but of course it's a false alarm. Too early. It's just a teacher leaving the service bulletin on the spots for the choir girls. Their pews were up in front of the church behind the pastor's podium so they faced everyone.
A second later, Charlie hops down next to her and bumps her arm in greeting.
"Is there something wrong with our corner in the back suddenly?"
"Nah just wanted a change of scenery."
"Mmm hmm. Cute top."
"Whatever," Dina feels her face heat.
Most people have taken their seats. Principal Harvelle and most of the teachers line the front row. Any minute now.
"Dory's gonna be late aga- oh yay nevermind." Charlie waves at Dorothy when she walks through the doorway looking half awake.
"Morning, Kids," she mumbles and slumps into the pew against Charlie in khakis and a sweatshirt. Something Dina is really envious of as she shifts in place, feeling antsy again. From now on, it's all tshirts and jeans, dammit.
"Hey," Dina says, distractedly as the choir door opens and a line of girls starts filling up the back choir pew. Once six girls are in back row, the next girl moves to begin the front row. Cas is the last to come out, closing the door behind her before stepping up to sit on the end of the first row.
Dina's heart stupidly kicks up just seeing her and she smiles even though Cas isn't looking at her. She's wearing that unflattering black choir robe overtop her clothes like everyone else but Dina can see the pearls and a purple Barrett winking in the harsh overhead lights.
The aging minister, only male on the payroll as far as Dina knows, greets everyone and runs through weekly announcements. Cas gives him her full attention because of course she's a good little choir girl. Dina bites her cheek to resist trying a covert wave or something dumb. Her luck and Pastor Never-Gets-To-The-Point would call her out in front of everyone.
Finally he says they'll open with a presentation by the lovely choir. Thank the freaking Lord.
All twelve girls rise and open their music books. The choir instructor, lifts her hands and the voices rise as one. Just like before she can't pick out Cas but watches her lips move and open.
Eventually the song breaks apart with higher octaves all together doing a verse. Then the melody. Then the altos. There's only a few and Dina fixates on it thinking she can almost hear her…
"So what are we-"
"Shh!" Dina hushes Charlie in annoyance and goes back to listening.
As if she heard, Cas suddenly notices her and smiles mid note making her pause and miss a word or two. When she begins again, Dina can pick her out and it's sweet. Dark and husky. Wow a hymn should probably not be making her kinda hot. She smiles watching her and winks when Cas makes eye contact again.
When the song ends, they take their seats and the pastor starts his spiel. If you held a gun to her head, Dina could not tell you a word of what he said that morning. The rest of the service is a blur as she makes a game of making Cas blush. It's obvious she's trying to keep from looking at her but sooner or later.. she ends up giving in. And Dina's always licking her lips or playing with her ponytail or smirking with as much heat as she can muster. It makes Cas worry her lip and shake her head in admonishment but grin a little. It feels like they're sharing a secret.
A dark-haired girl beside her says something in her ear. Cas nods and after that makes sure not to look Dina's way again, but presses her lips like she's fighting to keep her face blank. It makes Dina satisfied to know it's because she's watching her.
During the last half hour, they all get up to sing the same closing hymns they do every Sunday. Cas smiles around each note and Dina sings too this time, not just waiting for the song to end like normal. She can feel Charlie watching her but she ignores it. That'll be a conversation to worry about later.
When the pastor says his parting words and it's time for the choir to leave, it's obvious that Cas forgets to get up until that same girl next to her pokes her in the side. Then she hops up almost too quickly and steps down to lead the line out their door.
Who was that chick next to her? Poking her. It irritates Dina, vaguely. She was just another girl that blended in with the rest of the girls.. like Cas until that day she noticed her watching.
"Am I allowed to talk now?" Charlie asks when everyone's dismissed.
"Knock yourself out," Dina says but walks away and into the mass of girls shuffling out.
Outside, Dina goes around to the back of the sanctuary and waits. A few minutes later, all the choir girls come out without their robes on. She stands just next to the door while they all walk out. When she sees Cas walk past her, she hooks her hand around her upper arm and pulls her out of line to the otherside of the building. It faces a woodsy area and gives them a little privacy.
"Hey." She smirks at her.
"Hello, Dina," Cas says, a little breathily. Dina leans her right arm from elbow to wrist against the wall next to her and hooks a dark chunk of hair over her ear. Purple studs match the purple Barrett that match the knee-length purple plaid skirt. A long sleeved black button up blouse and black stockings complete her look this morning. Cas stares ahead at her, waiting for her eyes to climb back up to meet hers.
"Are you done?" She blushes prettily but doesn't sound over anxious like she sometimes did.
"Just about," Dina says lingering over her hips purposely. "God, you and plaid skirts."
"What do you mean? You.. you don't like them?"
Dina raises her eyes heavenward but simply says "No. I like them too much."
"Oh," Cas blinks, understanding all at once.
"We need to get you a tie," Dina says nodding to herself.
"A tie? Like a men's tie?"
Dina smiles in confirmation.
"Why?"
"Because it's hot. C'mon.. Girls in ties." Dina purses her lips, considering. "Maybe a blue one to match your eyes."
"And you would find that.. " She seems to stumble over the word.
"Fucking hot," Dina says it slowly staring right into her eyes and loving the way they widen just a little bit when she curses. "And I mean, you already got the naughty school girl thing going."
"I do not." Cas straightens her back but Dina just continues.
"Besides if you had a tie, I could play with it."
"Um.. Play with it?"
Dina lowers her eyes and hovers a hand just above her collar then down and touches the button there in the between her curvy breasts. Cas breathes shallowly looking down too and darting her eyes back up.
"You know, while we're talking like this. I could rub it between my fingers or.. Pull you close by it."
"And why would you do that?" Cas sounds entranced.
Dina smirks and teases out the moment. "Mmm.. I don't know, Cas.." She strokes a finger over the hollow of her neck where her collar is open then down to that same button again. "Maybe so I could bring your sweet little mou-"
"Cas?"
Cas jumps and knocks her head against the wall behind her.
"Whoa, you ok?" Dina cups the back of her head and rubs it but Cas is stepping away and staring at an approaching girl. Dina turns and sees it's the same one who poked her.
"Oh um Dina.. this is Meg," she says, not looking at her and twisting her hands in her skirt.
Dina moves a little ways back from Cas to give her breathing room so she doesn't have a panic attack and glances at the chick.
Brown hair, brown eyes, cute but in a hard way. Dark features like Cas but without the soft, sweetness. She smiles in an obviously fake-way then drops it when Cas looks back to gesture towards Dina. "Meg, this is Dina."
"Hey," Dina greets her while eying her up and down.
"Charmed," she says coolly, barely giving her a look before grabbing Cas' arm and pulling her a little away so Dina's left behind them. Okay well that sealed that.
"So, Cas.. we still on for practicing the bridge for "Be Still My Soul" later?"
Cas puts an arm behind her back and clasps her forearm with her other hand. "Was that today?"
Aggravated at being ignored, Dina steps up behind her and catches her fingers with her hand.
"Oh um y-yes of course," Cas shifts her weight.
Missing the next thing Meg says, Dina continues making a circle in her palm with a thumb and then intertwines their fingers, lightly.
"Unless you're busy..." she peeks around Cas with a bitchy face and raised eyebrow. Dina smiles back, tightening her hold on Cas' hand for a second. Cas squeezes back quickly before moving her hands in front of her.
"No. I have no other plans."
"Good so.. I'll see you at 12?"
Cas just nods her head.
Meg frowns between Cas and Dina, then reluctantly says, "well okay then.
Bye."
Dina gives her an over-exaggerated smile and a sarcastic wave. "Bye, Peg."
"Meg," Cas whispers quickly over her shoulder.
"Oh Sorry. Bye, Meg." But she's already stomped off.
Cas turns back to give Dina an exasperated look. "That was childish."
"She's into you."
"What? No she's.. She doesn't have those types of feelings for females."
Dina flips her ponytail and leans back against the wall. "Uh huh. She a friend of yours?"
"We just practice together occasionally," Cas shrugs, clearly not thinking twice about it. But it makes Dina irrationally territorial.
"So if she asks, and she will, whatcha gonna tell her about me?"
"Not that I imagine she would but I will say.." Cas hesitates like she just realized she wasn't entirely sure.
Dina raises an eyebrow, waiting.
"That you are my friend," She finishes, frowning.
Dina twists her lips considering that. She had a feeling "friend" was a pretty big deal for Cas but she still wanted more and folds her arms under her breasts.
Cas takes note of her posture. "Why are you suddenly unhappy? Are we not friends?"
She tilts her head.
Sighing, Dina supposes they weren't much more than that at the moment. Cas wasn't ready to dive into the deep end yet. So she just shrugs it off and answers, "Nevermind. So I heard you today."
She steps around her and a little closer. Even though Cas is still frowning, her eyes widen with Dina's proximity and her back bump lightly against the wall behind her.
"I liked it. You should do a solo or something."
"No." Cas looks a little paler like she's wants to hurl. "I could never do that."
"But you sing now in front of people."
"Amongst others. Never by myself."
"You'd sound like an angel. A little dark one." She holds her chin and rubs a thumb over her bottom lip.
"Dina.." Cas looks around with self-consciousness. "People will see."
Dina drops her hand. "Are you ashamed of me?"
"No- no of course not.."
Staring at her hard, Dina slowly asks, "Of yourself then?"
Cas doesn't answer or look up.
"So if I had a dick this would be ok?"
"You said we could go slow." She reminds Dina softly and it's without all the easy warmth that'd shared just a few minutes ago. Before that chick Meg came and it broke the spell that they were alone without the school waiting just on the other side of the wall. Dina watches her tugging at the ends of her sleeves so they cover her hands and hates that she made her all timid again.
Breathing out with a huff, Dina gives in though she knows this'll just come up again. "I'm sorry. I know this is all new for you."
Cas messes with her skirt, fixing the pleats until Dina reaches forward and stops her hand. She cups her fist. then brings her fingers up to hold her wrist. Cas looks down at them then up at Dina's face, wearily.
"Whatever you want, okay?"
Cas chews her lip and asks.. "Maybe we could just um talk?"
"Talking's good. You got a little time till 12.. How about now?"
Cas gives a little smile so she pulls her by her wrist forward, then takes her hand. Before they round the corner, she drops it. Hating that Cas needed this to feel secure but one step at a time.
They walk side by side out into the wide open courtyard to under a large oak tree.
Cas takes a seat on the grass, tucking her legs to the side while Dina crosses hers and tries to think of a neutral subject.
"So where'd your name come from? Cassiel?"
"Castiel," she corrects gently. "It's an angel in the Bible."
"Ha, I knew you were an angel."
Cas just rolls her eyes and looks away.
"So you're family's religious?"
"What's your family like?" She asks abruptly, sidestepped her family without missing a beat.
"Oh um.. well my little bro Sammy goes to Eagle Heights. He's great. Super smart.. Tall as a Sasquatch. We were shipped here after my mom.. ya know um passed.." she says awkwardly then quickly moves on. "My dad's a mess. Just kinda gave up."
"That must be difficult. I'm very sorry, Dina."
"Yeah me too."
She's surprised to find her cheek a little wet and wipes at it angrily before sniffing and laughing. "God, this comes outta no where sometimes.. Sorry."
Cas takes her hand without looking around or worrying about being seen like before and holds it in her lap. She makes long passes over Dina's wrist and the top of her hand. Oddly it makes her giggle and feel a little better. Cas smiles uncertainly but doesn't stop.
Wiping away the last of her tears, Dina says, "You realize you're petting me like a cat?"
Cas looks down then blushes. "Oh um this always made me feel better I guess and I um-"
"It's fine." Dina sniffs again and smiles. "It's really cute. You're.. really cute." Twisting her lips, she watches Cas' movements until she can take a breath without it feeling painful. "So let's try aiming for less heavy.. What do you like to do besides read?"
"I.. well I.. why don't you tell me about yourself?" Cas tries.
"C'mon Cas. The way this works is we share. I've already blubbered, tell me something about you."
"Like what?" She genuinely looks lost like she can't think of a thing to say.
"Anything.. Um.." Dina sees her playing with the pearls, one of her many nervous habits. "Okay, what's the deal with the pearls? You always wear 'em."
"Oh." Her mouth falls opens and she drops her hand from them like she got burnt. "They.. well they were.. um my mother's."
"Were?" Dina bends her head, trying to catch Cas' face.
"She isn't, you know..." She gestures helplessly, but Dina got that she wasn't dead. "She only left us. Me and my father."
"Oh. Geez, Cas, I'm-"
"I know it's.. it's no comparison to what you are going through.. I just.. it's um hard to talk about-can we talk about something else, please?" She says it all too fast, jumbling the words.
"Sure, sure." Dina flails for anything else and just settles on where she's at in The Hunger Games because Cas is breathing a little too fast and holding onto Dina's fingers painful hard, making her knuckles turn white.
Dina keeps darting looks at her over the next several minutes while her breathing steadies and her hand uncurls from hers. Without breaking her train of thought about what a dick President Snow is, Dina scoops up her hand and starts stroking it like Cas had been doing earlier. She peeks up and gives a small grateful smile.
Finally, Cas seems less tense and has progressively scooted so she's about half an inch from leaning into Dina.
"-then Peeta was freaking hiding the whole time using his magic cake camouflage skills-"
"I'm okay, now. Thank you." Cas says, softly.
Dina throws an arm around her shoulders and kisses her temple quickly before releasing her. "Anytime."
Cas glances at her from under hair that's fallen over her eyes before staring back down at Dina's hand over hers. "You are exceptionally understanding. That doesn't happen often anymore."
"It's cool. I get it. Family's off the table for now."
"It's just.."
"Nope. New topic." Dina says nodding as if that was the end of it.
They're smiling at each other when someone's shadow falls over them. Dina looks up to see a familiar figure in black jeans, black sleeveless shirt and seductive smirk.
Pamela. Shit. Aggressive, fun as hell but so not someone she wanted to see right now.
"Hiya, Dina."
"Hey.." she sighs, feeling Cas physically withdraw and straighten away from her.
"Came to see if maybe you wanted to hang out later. Been a while since we.." She raises an eyebrow. "Hung out."
Seriously, she internally groans.
"I'm hanging out with Cas right now, Pamela." She gestures unnecessarily next to her in case she was somehow blind.
"Mm hmm." She eyes Cas up and down, who's currently hugging her knees and staring at the ground. "Ookay. If you're busy, that's cool. But lemme know if you want something with more bite."
She saunters away, leaving them in silence. Dina knows before she even looks at her, that Cas is upset. As soon as Pamela's out of sight, Dina turns and starts, "Hey, sorry about-"
"I've got to go," Cas says not looking at her and pushing off the ground.
Getting to her knees, Dina follows. "No you don't. C'mon just listen. She was just-"
"Yes, I know." Cas looks up with a flash of annoyance, the darkest emotion she's ever shown then shakes her head and bows her head again. Her hair falls forward to shield her face. "Perhaps being confronted with it affected me more than I would have thought."
"Cas, you can't be pissed at me for someone before you." She says it to her back.
Cas turns, still retreating. "I'm not. Really." She smiles a strained, clearly fake smile then turns away again.
"We can't all be-" Dina just manages to shut her mouth before she says anything more damning. Cas gives her a hurt frown but keeps walking.
Well fuck. Now she's kinda pissed too but also feeling guilty. Which is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. It's not her fault Cas has a problem with her past girlfriends. Not that too many of them were actually anything close to that. But still. Who does that? It's not fair, goddammit. Why was this so freaking complicated? Everything about Cas was like pulling teeth. They'd take a step forward then three steps back. For the hundredth time she wondered if all this was worth the headache, but then she remembered the silly way Cas pet her until she felt better. And how good it felt to play with her hands when she got a chance or flirt while she was singing.
Dina decides to go back to bed for half of the day, waiting until she has to get up for 5pm night service. This time she threw on comfortable jeans, her boots and comfy flannel, rolling the sleeves to her elbows. Her face felt puffy from sleeping all day and she still rubbed her eyes trying to wake up while she stood in the hall leading to the sanctuary with the other groups of girls.
When the teacher opened the door at promptly 5 to let them in, she stood along the wall, waiting for the majority of the mass to move. When she looks around, she noticed a familiar "angel" with a dark pixie cut coming to stand just behind her. She should be lining up with the choir girls but she's here. Standing in a packed hall, trying to catch her eyes.
Dina glances back at her then ahead again. Sighing, she puts her thumbs in her jean pockets. While she's still deciding what she wants to say, Dina feels a pinky finger wrap around hers. Looking down, she follows it up to Cas, giving her a sheepish smile.
No one notices with all the hustle and bustle of everyone moving forward but it gives her a warm feeling inside that Cas came to her.
Dina moves her hand behind her back and Cas immediately laces their fingers. They simply stand like that for the next minute as girls rush around them.
Author's Note: So I have learned that there may not be many that read genderswap, but the ones that do are simply the most amazing, sweetest people. Your words are so encouraging and keep me going. I really can not tell you how much I appreciate it! I'm already working on the next chapter and I promise it'll be longer and sooner. Love you all to bits!