Chapter 4
The place that they gave her was near the apothecary, which was good, because she wasted no time in trying to work with him. The guy didn't really want to give up a corner space to her, but eventually gave in. The two often talked about various recipes for different potions, and more than once the apothecary was surprised by what she put in them. She started gathering things for him right away, and brought in extra herbs so she wouldn't be using up all the stock. She was glad to be in a stable place again, and didn't want to feel like a freeloader.
She'd started helping the healers too. She'd take extra herbs over to them, any potions she thought they could use. Working in Anders' clinic for as long as she did, helped give her the experience to help here. Hawke needed to keep herself busy, so she wouldn't feel suffocated by Solas. The man was always watching her, just out of eyesight she knew, as if waiting for her to reveal who he really was.
He had been steadfastly ignoring her, while also watching her. She had stopped by with cookies earlier, but he had turned her away. It would be better for her to hate him. It would make things easier, and he would be able to ignore her, focus on his goals. The hurt flashed through her eyes almost too quickly for him to catch, but then she smiled and walked away.
"Hey, did you get those cookies Flint made, Lightning?" Varric asked, jovially. "Best cookies ever."
"That's actually why I'm out here." Lavellan said. They must be heading to see Alhasha, he thought to himself.
"Did you notice that there were some of them that were a little better than the others?" Varric asked, confused.
"Yeah. She talked to me, asking for advice." She replied. Suddenly, there was a knock to his door.
He started for a second. They were there to talk to him? Had that woman said something to the Herald? Wait, why did he care? Calming himself, Solas opened the door to greet them.
"You ass." That was actually the first time Lavellan had ever offered to insult him, and he just stood there with his mouth agape.
"I'm sorry?" He replied, more than a little confused.
"You should be. Hawke asked for advice on how to talk to you, told me she had a question to ask, and she wasn't sure how to go about it." Lavellan replied, crossing her arms in front of her. "She needed an elvish word translated, only I couldn't translate it when she asked me."
"And the cookies?" Solas asked, warily.
"Bribery, of course." Lavellan admitted, with a laugh. "She said you're intimidating, and considering she can face down most anything without blinking, that's saying something."
"I might not have been of the best frame of mind when she stopped by." Solas replied, before turning to close the door behind him on his way out. "If I may ask, what was the word she needed translated?"
"Evanuris." Lavellan said, not noticing when Solas held his breath to keep from reacting.
"That is-" He began.
"Nope. Don't tell me. Tell her." Lavellan insisted, and then turn around and left.
"Flint is at the healers tents, if you really want to know, Chuckles." Varric added, before he too left.
Indeed, she was at the healers tents. Why she was arguing with Chancellor Roderick, he did not know. Upon his arrival, the man in question pointed at him and demanded his arrest too. Then again, Roderick said that about the whole of the Inqusition. This was nothing new.
"So help me, you angry old geezer. If you don't hold still, I will make you!" Alhasha growled, poking Roderick in the chest as she said it.
"You will keep you magic to yourself!" He shouted back.
"Fine!" She shouted back. "Have a cookie!"
Before anyone could say a word, Alhasha had shoved a cookie into the man's mouth. It only took a moment before the man passed out. The Commander had to catch him. Once he placed the chancellor onto one of the cots, Alhasha got to work. She listened to the man's heart for a moment, then moved away and began working on putting together a tea for him.
"You were right about his heart, Cullen." Alhasha stated, sounding tired. "The man won't slow down for anything."
"I could say the same about you, Hawke." The Commander teased. "When was the last time you got any sleep?"
"Oh, you know me. I'll sleep when I'm dead." She replied, offhandedly.
"You!...You drugged me!" Roderick shouted, angrily.
"And I did it all without any magic at all." Alhasha cooed at him, then her eyes turned hard. "Now, you're going to drink this tea every day, or so help me I will shove it down your throat myself. You pass out like that again, and that won't be just a threat."
"Don't even think this will win me over." Roderick accused.
"Oh no. See, I want you to live. That way, when we prove you wrong, I can rub your face in it." She sassed right back. "You need to be living when that happens, otherwise proving you wrong won't be any fun."
Roderick took the box, and stalked out of the tent. Solas barely caught the small smile as Roderick passed him.
"Thank you for taking a look at him, Hawke." Cullen said, before leaving as well.
"My cookies weren't drugged, were they?" Solas asked, a bit amused.
"No. And they're gone." She said, curtly.
"You asked Lavellan what Evanuris meant, but how did you come by that word?" Solas asked, his voice turning accusatory.
"It came as part of a riddle, along with the mask." Alhasha answered.
"It was not meant for you." Solas said, now angry.
"You're just angry it wants me and not you!" She spat, her eyes alight with anger.
"You have no idea what you're playing with!" He shouted.
"Ha! Like you're something special!" She scoffed. "You're just a spoiled child who wants a toy you've thrown away now that you see someone else playing with it."
He hadn't been paying attention, but with every shout or insult, they had stepped closed to each other until they were practically inches apart.
"Oh!...um...Hawke, I...perhaps I'll...just ask later...right...later." The Commander stumbled over the words, having seen them as they are now.
Solas realized that they had both been glaring at the man, but when Cullen left, he turned to talk to Alhasha, only to find her gone.
"Varric, I need to place a bet." Cullen announced, when he found the dwarf. "First off, what are the bets concerning Solas and Hawke?"
"Well, it's like this, Curly." Varric replied, smirking as he opened his betting book.
"Hey, Flint, got something for ya." Varric said, as he walked up to her. She'd just walked out of the Apothecary's shop.
"What, another betting ring?" Hawke asked, with mock intrigue. "What are we betting on this time? How long it takes Roderick to explode? I can help with that. Maker knows that man needs a hot poker shoved up his backside."
"Nothing like that…at least, not yet. Look." Varric said, motioning someone over.
Her jaw actually fell open, a rare occasion in her life. Varric had found her things from Lothering that she'd had to stash away. She'd had to leave the box behind when she'd ran from the Tevinter mages. There was a part of her that had made peace with the fact that she would never see her family's things again. Varric just smirked, and directed the guy carrying her chest to where he needed to go.
"Varric, I…" Hawke tried to say, but words fell short.
"Don't worry, that face was worth it. I can use it for my next book." Varric replied, with a bit of a chuckle. "And the champion's jaw fell to the floor in unspoken gratitude. She graciously offered to pay his tab at the Singing Maiden, for which the humble and yet devastatingly handsome dwarf with the amazing chest hair could not refuse."
"Oh, but of course." Hawke said, with a bit of a laugh herself. "Thank you, Varric."
"Any time, Flint." Varric replied, before leaving her to look over her things."
"Would you mind if we spoke in private, Lady Hawke?" Solas asked, walking up to her after Varric had left.
"Of course. Would you mind coming inside then?" She asked, looking a bit absentminded. "It's just, Varric…What he did…I'll never know how he did it, but he found my family's things. I'd had to leave them behind…I'll never be able to repay him."
"Of course." Solas said, with a nod.
He'd seen her face when the dwarf motioned the guy forward with the case. She'd never thought she'd see it again, and whatever it held had a great emotional value to her. Of course the dwarf would have to play it up. It was what he did, and it always seemed to help misdirect people so they wouldn't see how much he'd really done. The two went inside her building, and she closed the door behind them.
"I wish to understand something." He said, as he watched her as she worked to open the chest. "I have had time to think over what happened, and I have many questions."
"Understandable. I have questions too." She replied, with a soft smile. Her eyes were on the chest she'd finally managed to open, but he couldn't see what was inside.
"First, I wish to apologize." Solas began. "I had intended to speak with you about the word you were looking into, and I let things get out of hand."
"I'm not innocent in that either." She replied. "So, I apologize as well."
"You know who I was, who I am, and yet you haven't said anything to anyone…Why?" Solas asked, keeping his voice void of his curiosity.
"Should I have? It's not my secret to tell, and I understand not wanting to say anything for a while. People were very angry with me when it happened to me too. People are still angry with me." She said, still not looking at him. She had begun to lovingly take things out of the chest, and place them around the room.
"…Happened to you too?" Solas asked, confused now.
"Varric told me you didn't read that book. Oh, I can only imagine he'd scarred you with Hard in High Town or something." Alhasha said, with a bit of a laugh.
"Swords and Shields." Solas admitted.
"My apologies." She said, unable to hold in her laughter.
"My understanding of humans now was…minimal. He offered that book to help me see what humans were really like." Solas stated, with a bit of a grimace. "Perhaps The Tales of the Champion might have been a better choice."
"Well, in any case, I'm glad there is at least one person who has not read that book that I can talk to." She admitted, surprising him. "Your opinions won't be coloured by anything you may have already read."
"That is understandable." Solas replied, looking thoughtful. "Now, about my question?"
"Oh, yes. I was technically the reason why the chantry building in Kirkwall blew up, killing several hundred people, and inadvertently causing the mage rebellion. People were very angry. Even though I didn't create the bomb, or place it, it was still my fault all those people died." Alhasha explained.
He hadn't expected that.
"What…happened?" He asked, intrigued.
"Anders was already unstable." She said, sounding tired as she sat down by the table. He followed suit. "Before I met him, he had already offered himself as a willing host to a spirit of Justice that had gotten stuck on this side of the Veil. It's not the first instance I've heard of that happening, and it should have been fine, but…The anger that Anders already had changed them both, and Justice slowly became Vengeance. I was too preoccupied with my own troubles to realize my friend needed help, and by the time I realized it, he was already delusional."
"You are correct that if his anger had not been an issue, the merge would have been a beneficial one to them both." Solas said, wanting the story to continue.
"He was running himself into the dust, helping with the mage underground, and running the clinic to help the refugees that had fled Fereldan during the Blight." Alhasha explained, with a sigh. "I thought I had him convinced to take a rest, to not work so hard. After all, you can't help someone if you're dead. He came to me one day, said he found a way to separate himself from Justice, that it was an old Tevinter potion. It felt off, but he's my friend…I trusted him."
"There may be a way to separate him from the spirit, but there is no Tevinter potion I know that does this." Solas said, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Fenris was suspicious of him too, but I didn't listen. I helped him gather the ingredients anyway. Later on, he'd asked me to distract the Grand Cleric for him. He didn't say what it was for, just that it would help the mage underground, and I wanted to help. So I did." Alhasha admitted, shaking her head. "The building blows up while I'm trying to stop the Knight Captain and the First Enchanter from killing each other. The Knight Captain forced my hand. She was going to kill the entire Kirkwall Circle for something a single apostate did. She's a separate and yet closely tied mistake, but I'll get to that if you want to hear it."
"Maybe some other time." Solas allowed, kindly.
"The thing is, if Anders had been honest with me from the start, I would have helped him anyway." Alhasha admitted, surprising him again. "I would have tried to get out the Grand Cleric and the others quietly before they could be killed, but I would still have blown up that building."
"Perhaps that is why he lied. You say this mage is your friend. He would know that you would do that." Solas said, after a moment. "It surprises me that we share that kind of a mistake, though in this instance, mine comes without the lying friend. It still comes with the blown up building, the death toll, and my magic being the cause. Mine was more about miscalculation."
"I imagine that is not the only mistake we share, in any case." She said, going back to the chest for a moment. "Come here. I want to show you something I think you will appreciate."
Solas did as she wished, and walked over to the chest with her. He stood a respectful distance away, so that he would not see inside the chest. It kept anything else she had in there from his eyes, but it meant she would have to take out what she wanted him to see. She pulled out a mage staff of intricate make, elvhen crafted, a good sized ruby at it's top…from the time of Arlathan. Yet another surprise from her.
"This belonged to my father. He said that it has been passed down the line since ancient times. I never knew whether to believe him, or if he was just telling stories because he knew I loved to hear them. He'd had to part with it before I was born, and stories were all he had to share of it…a mistake of his own that became one of mine." She said, running her fingers over the elvhen designs. "I don't need a staff for my magic, not really, but I can't seem to part with it."
"That is understandable. It belonged to someone important to you." Solas replied, and held out his hand to take the staff. "May I?"
She let him, just like that. Did she really trust him this much? Knowing who he was, she knew he had betrayed before. The staff reacted to him, recognizing that he was of worth. He handed it back to her after a moment.
"It has been well cared for. Do you know who that staff belonged to originally?" Solas asked, and when she shook her head no, he continued. "I do not know if you are a descendant of hers or not, but that is the staff of Andruil. It is intriguing that you should possess it, that it recognizes you as one of worth."
"Why is that?" She asked, looking confused.
"Because the Hawk was beloved to her." Solas replied, in his scholarly manner. "Which makes me wonder, just how old are you, Lady Hawke?"
"I thought it was against the rules to ask that of a lady. Besides, I'm nowhere near ready to reveal that kind of secret, Solas." She said, blushing. "Maybe next time."
"Indeed." Solas said, with a slight bow, before exiting her building.
Varric had recommended that she talk with Leliana, Cassandra and Lavellan, and so that was the reason she found herself in a little corner of the Singing Maiden some time later. The four of them got along great, and it almost reminded her of hanging out with Isabella, Merrill, and Aveline at the Hanged Man. They pumped her for every detail of what happened at the hot springs. Cassandra thought it was wonderfully romantic, and Lavellan couldn't be happier for her new friend, but there was something that they just didn't understand. She'd have to tell them in order to get their advice.
"Alright, you three, I'm about to hit you with a secret I haven't even told Varric." She said, her voice low, causing them to lean in closer. "I didn't just steal the kiss at the hot spring. I stole my firstkiss at that hot spring."
"WHAT?! But that's not possible!" Shouted Cassandra, causing several people to look over at them, including Solas. She waited till everyone went back to what ever they had been doing before she continued. "Hawke, I don't understand. That doesn't make any sense."
"I wasn't the oldest of three siblings, like the book says. I was the youngest." Hawke admitted, her voice low. She noticed Solas eyeing them with suspicion from time to time, but he was too far away to hear her over the crowd. "Bethany never had the mindset for leadership, and Carver was a tit. Father knew that I would have to lead them eventually. Even Mother knew that, before she died. Do you know how old I was when we got to Kirkwall? I was twelve."
"So how did you make yourself look older?" Lavellan asked, curious.
"Father gave me a thin chain bracelet that would make me look older, so that people would respect me. No one respects a kid telling them what to do, especially when the kid is right." Hawke replied, holding up her right hand. The chain was barely visible, and even then they had to squint to see it. "I just ended up wearing the thing for years, even after everything happened."
"So how old are you really?" Leliana asked, her voice low too.
"Ummm…I was twelve when we got to Kirkwall, thirteen after the year of working with the Red Iron, sixteen when I dueled the Arishok, and nineteen when Anders blew up Kirkwall's Chantry. So, I'd say I'm either twenty or twenty one, maybe older, I'm not sure. The months sort of ran together on the run, you know." Hawke said, thinking through it all.
"You mean to tell me you're twenty one, and you stole your first kiss from Solas?" Cassandra asked, leaning in so she could be heard better.
"Hey! You try leading a bunch of crazy people into a functional team, defending a city, and constantly having to do someone's bidding, and see if you have time for a social life in all that." Hawke huffed, though there was no anger in it. "Mother was set to try and marry me off to one of those dandies of Kirkwall's noble class, and I was not having that. I'd have rather died first. Most of them didn't even know which end of a sword was the pointy end."
"I understand." Cassandra said, begrudgingly, looking pensive. "Why do you still look older than twenty one?"
"The bracelet is still working, Cassandra." Hawke reminded them, pointing to the bracelet. "Like I said, it's been a long time since I took this thing off."
"So why did you kiss him anyway?" Liliana asked, wide eyed and intrigued. "Inquiring minds want to know."
"This is so embarassing…I thought he was there to kill me." She admitted, That was not the answer they expected, and it sent them laughing. Hawke's face grew red in embarrassment, and she began rambling. "He just kept…showing up, and that only usually happens when someone wants to kill me, so…I figured I'd steal a kiss from the mysterious handsome guy before he killed me, kind of a last request. I feel like an idiot, please just ignore me for the rest of forever."
She face planted on the table and stayed that way.
"Hawke, this isn't a bad thing, it's just unusual." Cassandra said, gently. "Believe me, I know what it's like to let duty get in the way of living your life."
"It's just that…I'm good at helping others find and keep their relationships. I've never had one of my own, not like that. There was my family to watch over, mother to take care of, and the Viscount kept asking me to field contact with the Arishok." Hawke mumbled, her face still on the table. "He's dead set on ignoring me now, I just know it, except when he wants to randomly ask questions about me before getting back to ignoring me, and I don't know what to do. I've never been in this situation before. I've never wanted anyone before. Anyone that ever went after me has either been a dandy or crazy as all fuck. I don't know what to do with a good looking possibly rational not crazy man who seems interested but ignores me."
"Well, he keeps looking over here at you." Lavellan whispered, like he could hear them. "And you said so yourself, he seems interested."
"Oh, that? He's not staring because of that. I knew his name before he told me what it was, and he's trying to figure out how I did it." Hawke mumbled.
He'd been watching them for the last few minutes. Ever so often he would hear his name mentioned over the noise of the crowd. While laughing was not the reaction he had expected, neither was her faceplanting onto the table. Some time later, the others left, and he had his chance. In the blink of an eye he moved over to her, grabbed her hand, and pulled her along to a more secluded space outside of the tavern.
"What the-" She nearly shouted, when he slammed her into the wall, before his hand was on her mouth.
"You lied." He hissed, his body pressing into her own. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you." Slowly, he moved his hand away from her face.
"Because I didn't lie, na'masa. (you ass)" She said, indignant, her voice pained. "They wanted to know what happened at the hot spring, so I told them."
"Explain." He demanded, not convinced.
"They're girls, Solas, romance loving girls. What do you think I told them?" Alhasha growled. "I told them that a mysterious handsome guy kept showing up, and I thought he was going to kill me, so I stole a kiss as a last request. I told them that you were staring at me in the tavern because I knew your name before you told me what it was, and you were trying to figure out how I did it."
That caught him off guard, just long enough for her to turn the tables around and pin him to the wall instead.
"So the next time you wanna pin me up against a wall, you better kiss me or kill me, because if you pull this stunt again, I'll remove what makes you a male. Got it?" She growled, angrily.
She didn't give him time to say anything, shoved herself away from him, and began stumbling back to her building. He just stood there for a moment. She hadn't revealed who he was, just gossiped with girls about a stolen kiss in a hot spring. A sudden cough caught his attention, and he turned his head to see Sister Nightingale with a smirk on her face. He would have moved away, but it was like her eyes held him where he was.
"So that's what you're into." She said, her voice held a bit of a sly tone to it. "My bet is looking better all the time, Solas. I knew you were one of those."
"One of…those?" Solas asked, at a loss for anything else to say.
"You're into the rough stuff." She teased, but then her voice began to hold an edge to it. "But you should know something, Solas. You drove her into a nail someone was stupid enough to leave sticking out of that wall. There's blood."
Solas looked to the space where she had been, and discovered that she had been right. There was a nail there, long enough that it could have pierced her lung, and there was blood on the ground. Without a word to Sister Nightengale, Solas cursed and headed off to find Alhasha. If he could get to her in time, he could heal her. Her death would not be another of his mistakes.
He found her just inside her building, door open, sprawled out onto the floor as she struggled to breathe. Cursing to himself, he picked her up, and closed the door. Working quickly, he placed her on the bed, and ripped the back of her shirt. He'd gotten there in time to heal the worst of it, and now there was only a mildly angry dot that would turn into a scar later. When he was done, he made up a quick poltice to put on her back.
As he began to dab the concoction onto her, he took notice of her back. He'd ripped the shirt to better see the wound, but now he saw more than that. He saw the lyrium markings there, the whipping marks they surrounded like a beautiful cage, and a rather large scar that went almost to her spine. Shit, wasn't he suppose to be ignoring her? This was not going at all like he thought it would.
"Don't move just yet." She heard a voice say. "I still have to remove the poltice and see if the wound needs to heal any more. Ir abelas. (I'm sorry)"
"Solas." She mumbled, recognizing who was talking to her.
"Yes. Ir abelas, Alhasha." He said, speaking softly as he worked. "I should not have reacted so harshly to you. It is my own fault for trying to listen in on a conversation I was not invited into, and jumping to the wrong conclusion."
"Another mistake we share." She replied, softly. "What happened?"
"I shoved you into a nail when I shoved you against that wall. It pierced your lung. If I had found you any later, you would be dead now." Solas admitted, trying to keep his mind on the work. "The lung is a delicate organ. I'm sorry this is taking so long."
"That's fine. This isn't the first time a friend has injured me on accident." She said, her voice trailing in and out. "I feel woozy."
"Tel'telsila. (Don't worry)" He said, softly. "You'll be fine."
"It would be ironic…for a nail to do…what an Airshok's blade could not." She said, before blacking out again.
"Solas, what's got you in such a bunch?" Varric asked, a bit cross.
He'd heard what had happened to Flint, and he wasn't happy about it, but he couldn't really say much. Solas had realized what had happened, and had gone to her aid. So, he was trying to give the elf a break. This didn't mean he couldn't rib the guy a little first. It was just, the way Solas looked, it was like he was already angry about something.
"An Arishok's blade." Solas said, half demanding. "What did she mean by that?"
"Why don't you just read the book?" Varric asked, wondering himself.
"And have you miss out on a chance for story telling, Master Tethras?" Solas said, with a slight smirk. "Surely not."
"What do you think, BarkSpawn? Should I give him another shot?" Varric asked, looking around Solas, who was surprised that the Mabari had followed him. The hound simply nodded, and then shambled away. "He really must think you're alright. Sit down. This is going to take some back story explaining."
The problem with Solas was that he didn't want the whole story, just the explanation of the Arishok's blade, but a little back story was needed. So Varric talked about the qunari landing in Kirkwall, the deal with the gaatlok and Javaris, Fenris smoothing things over in the first meeting by speaking the qun to the Arishok and offering to kill the dwarf that lead them all on this wild goose chase, the constant visits, and so on. He talked about the buildup of tension between the Kirkwallers and the qunari there, the attempts to uproot them by fanatic elves, and finally the descent into madness by the Arishok. He spoke in detail about their fight through the city, dealing with First Enchanter Orsino and Knight Captain Meredith, and the entrance she made into the room of people about to die. By that point, Solas looked hooked.
Varric went over the conversation her and the Arishok had shared, how Isabela came barging in with the stolen relic, and the instant decision to dual over her life and the lives of those living in Kirkwall. He gave a beautiful, not that he was tooting his own horn or anything, description of the fight with the Arishok. When he finally got to the part where the Arishok managed to impale her on the great sword, Solas's jaw actually dropped. It was the most reaction Varric thinks he's ever seen from the elf outside of when Flint had all that magebane in her system, and he wished he had someway to capture the moment.
"Varric, you aren't telling that story again, are you?" Flint asked, with a half groan.
"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies, Flint." Varric replied, with a grin. "Chuckles here asked about the Arishok's blade."
"I thought I was out of it, or I would have never mentioned it." Flint teased, as she sat down. "At least tell me you didn't resurrect a griffon for me."
"We haven't gotten to that part yet." Solas threw in, with his usual scholarly tone. "I am sure he will mention it soon."
"This is an historic moment. Alert the Chantry! Chuckles told his first joke. I'm so proud." Varric chuckled, as he pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.
"It has been known to happen, Master Tethras." Solas replied, then turned to Flint. "You weren't suppose to get out of bed yet. Healer's orders."
"Yes, well, healer's orders are only so good as long as they can be there to inforce them." Flint said, arching an eyebrow as if daring Solas to say something about it. This is not the first time he has watched Flint give Solas a look like this, nor is it the first time he's watched Solas react like his mind was sent somewhere else because of it.
"If you two don't stop staring at each other like that in front of me, I'm going to start describing it in friend fiction format." Varric warned, bringing them both out of it.
"I really should go lie down, I suppose." Flint said, a bit of pink tinging her cheeks. "Varric, try not to bring too many griffons back for me. It will only make it less believable when you have to kill them all off again at the end."
She left, BarkSpawn following after her. Both Solas and Varric watch after her as she goes, but Varric notes that it is Solas she looks back to after a moment. She blushes when she realizes she's been caught, and quickly walks on. Varric can't help but chuckle at this, as Solas has a slight blush to match her own. Those two were hopeless.
"Even after you nearly kill her, she's still drawn to you." Varric stated, seriously. "Are you so dead set on ignoring her that you can't see that?"
"Master Tethras, I can't get her involved. I can't-" Solas began, but Varric cut him off.
"If this is about your secret, can it." Varric said, earning him a surprised and angry glare from the elf. "I don't know what it is, Solas, and quite frankly I don't give a damn. When Flint woke up, she asked me what do you do when you discover someone's secrets without meaning to, a big secret. I can only assume she meant you. Whatever it is, Solas, she's kept it. She wouldn't reveal it even if threatened with being made tranquil. I know this, because she's almost had to go that far to protect the secrets of her friends…like where Anders is. She was almost made tranquil, and still wouldn't reveal where he is. They let her go, thinking she really didn't know, because no one goes that far to protect a secret. No one but her. I'd bet everything I own that she does know where he is, or knows how to find out, and still she didn't say anything. She probably wouldn't even tell me, and I don't want her to. Trust her, damn it, before you end up killing her with your paranoia."
"You're not curious about what it is?" Solas asked, dubious. "You wouldn't try to squeeze information out of her using your friendship as guilt?"
"Of course I'm curious about it, especially after you say something like that to me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't, but that's not how our friendship works." Varric insisted. "I'd be lying if I said I don't want to know, but she won't tell me till you tell her she can."
"And if I never say she can?" Solas asked, looking doubtful and curious all at once.
"Then she never says a word about it to me." Varric replied, pointedly.
"You have given me a lot to think about, Master Tethras. I will consider your words carefully." Solas said, with a nod, and left.
"That elf is going to be the death of me and my tunic." Varric grumbled, to himself.
After a rather exhausting mission with the Herald, Solas was on his way back to his hut when he saw her. Alhasha was hunched over, hiding behind a bush as she watched the Herald and the Commander talking…as she made snowballs. He could see small flashes of fire and ice magic in her hands, hardening and compacting the snowballs until they were just right. His curious nature refused to let this go, and he walked over to her. He didn't even bother trying to hide, and she didn't bother looking up at him.
"What are you doing, Lady Hawke?" He asked, bemused.
"Being a wingman." She said, as if that explained everything. He sighed. That explained nothing.
"How does making snowballs aid you in this?" He asked, patiently.
"Right now, Lavellan is awkwardly flirting with the Commander. He has no idea, because he's awkward too, but these moments are important, and they can be awkward together." She said, watching the couple, still making snowballs. "It is adorable."
"And the snowballs?" He asked, inwardly sighing. When she was focused on something, it was hard to get her to explain it.
"This." She said, before reeling back and hurling a snowball. It hit Jim square in the back of the head, and he fell face first into the snow, his report flying off in all directions. "That sneaky little bastard keeps showing up every time Lavellan and Cullen start talking. I swear I think he waits for it, either that or Leliana knows and sends him with reports at too convenient of a time in order to win some bet with Varric."
"So you…pelt him with snowballs…to buy them time…so that they can awkwardly flirt with each other?" He asked, making sure he had it right.
"Yes." She said, with all the seriousness of the world, right before she chucked another snowball. Jim had been trying to get up, he hit the show again.
Solas didn't know what made it start. Perhaps it was the seriousness of her face as she explained it, or the fact that she was honestly hitting a messenger with snowballs to give a couple some time to figure each other out, but something in him lost it. He fell to his knees next to her, and started shaking. He tried to hold it in, even going so far as to wrap his arms around himself, but the laughter was out before he could get around it. Alhasha actually took her eyes off of watching Jim for a moment, and stared at him as if she'd never seen him before.
"You wanna get him?" She asked, holding a snowball out to him.
She held it out to him like a peace offering or something, and his laughter subsided a moment in response to this. This woman was something else, that was for sure. He wasn't going to take it, but Jim looked to be on the move again, too close to the Commander to stop, but Solas quickly took the snowball and chucked it anyway…hitting the Commander in the side of the face instead. Cullen is shocked, angered, and Solas feels a little like a fish as his mouth opens and closes trying to form words. Lavellan looks like she's trying to hold in her laughter, when all of a sudden, Alhasha stands up from behind the bush where they had been.
"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" She shouts, and chucks another one at the Commander.
This makes Lavellan lose it, and she starts laughing. The Commander wastes no time, and chucks a snowball at her. Pretty soon, it's an all out war. People, who weren't even there, just showed up and started hurling snowballs at one another. Someone has compacted snow around Varric so well that he looks like his own snowman. For once, Solas feels bad for Roderick, seeing as how the man can't seem to stand upright without being pelted with snowballs from every location.
Somehow, Madam de Fer doesn't get a single snowball chucked at her, or they melt before they can. Leliana and Josephine had taken to teaming up against some of the more adventurous recruits. Sera and Blackwall had also teamed up, sending a flurry of snowballs towards anything that moved. A rather large snowball whizzed by him, almost hitting him in the face, and he looks over only to see Iron Bull already moving on to another target. A snowball hits Solas in the side of the head, and he reacts without thinking, sending one right back.
Alhasha can't stop laughing, and neither can he. Both of them take to running through the war zone, throwing snowballs as they can at anyone within range. They pass BarkSpawn on their way, looks like he's having the time of his life burying Jim in snow. They finally make it to a quiet and safe location, behind the Apothecary's shop, when Solas gets an idea.
He grabs her hand again, and puts her to the wall like last time. Only this time is different, softer somehow, especially considering that he has his hand back there in case of another nail. She's still smiling up at him, and he remembers what she said about being slammed into a wall like that. It's why he's done it, why he's nearing her too close again even though he knows he shouldn't. This time, the kiss is soft, slow, and still over too quickly.
"That was a bad idea." He says, as if he's trying to convince himself.
"Probably." She admits, and he smiles.
"Thank you…I haven't laughed like that…in a very long time." Solas said, still happy from the snowball fight and the kiss.
"It doesn't take much, to remember that you can." Alhasha said, then grinned. "Varric will want to mark this day on the calendar though. He'll call it 'Chuckles Chuckled Day', or something ridiculous like that."