Revelation
My thighs ache dully and even now it still stings a little. I savour the feeling. I am a true woman now, bled, wedded and bedded. His back is facing me, one arm tucked underneath his head, hair tousled. I slink closer under the warm bedding and put my arm around his waist. I relish in the knowledge that he is mine, that I may call him husband. His back is smooth and pale, yet here and there are lingering scars from battles he has not made mention to me, small white scratches against his back. I carefully trace them with a finger, he grunts and pulls away from my hand. I wriggle closer again, but am careful not to touch him.
"Lady Sigyn?"
I open my eyes, Tyri is shaking me awake, holding a rich velvet, red robe in her hands. She averts her gaze when I get up from the bed and she wraps the robe quickly around me. I glance over to the other side of the bed, but it is empty. I can't help but feel disappointed that my husband woke and did not think to wake me, but I shake my head and stand like a lady. I have already accepted he will never whisper sweet words to me. I do not even know if he likes me, or if I am simply just some new novelty, a piece of artwork in a room that he will eventually not even realise is there. Servants move quickly around our bedroom, removing a canter of wedding ale and a plate full of honey cakes. Neither of us were hungry last night.
"I have to take the sheet." Tyri says softly and I step away from the bed. She pulls back the covers and expertly removes the sheet underneath, a smear of dried blood staining it where I slept.
"Magnhild has prepared you a bath and afterwards your mother and father would like to speak to you."
I nod and then Tyri ushers all the servants out, quietly closing the door behind her, while I step towards my bathing chamber. When I open the wooden door a warm roll of air slips out into my bedroom, the steam smelling of lavender and rosemary. I breathe in deeply, my muscles urging me to sink into warm water and forget everything for now.
I keep trying to look at my mother and father, but I can't help looking at the sheet spread out over the table. Evidence of every small private moment we shared last night, though I found it uncomfortable and awkward for us both. I liked him kissing me though, it says in On Wifely Duties, that wives must bear childrearing and the begetting of children with great suffering and pride; I forgot myself entirely when he was kissing my neck and very gently nipping behind my ear, I couldn't help it when I gasped and pressed my hips into his. It only hurt for a little while and I enjoyed the rest of it, though I know such a though is scandalous. I blush and swiftly look down at my feet. Not wanting to look at my parents or the sheet in front of us.
"So he had you?" my father asks again.
"Yes, sir."
"Was he kind to you? Was he gentle?" my mother asks.
"Yes."
I had been more than surprised when he showed some patience with me and a little of his own self-control. I knew he had been kind with me.
"He left you in the morning." Father scowls.
I nod, not knowing what to reply with. Father sighs irritably, then folds the sheet and nods for me to go. I curtsey and walk out from his study, wondering how on earth I could displease him, when I had done my duty.
"Good morning, sister." Thor greets me when I enter the great hall and gestures for me to sit beside him. I look around for Loki, but he is nowhere in sight and I am unsure whether asking for him would make me look needy and foolish. Whether he notices the slight falter in my footsteps or the confusion on my face, he makes no comment about it. I sit beside him and put some fruits and bread on my plate, but make very little attempt to eat it. After I begin to roll a grape around between my thumb and forefinger, Thor pushes the plate towards me.
"Eat, you'll need your strength."
"I'm not going into battle." I sigh, pushing the plate away again. Thor pulls it back and gives me a look suggesting it is unwise to argue with him.
"You've married Loki, that's a battle enough." he jests. "I'll find him, he should be here with you."
Thor gets up from the bench and makes his way out of the hall, I watch him go, before turning back to my plate of untouched food.
The hall is quiet, everyone has gone outside and the servants are still busy cleaning up messy bedrooms and the kitchens. The back of my neck prickles and I know he is here; whether he has been here this entire time or has only now just turned up, I do not know. I cannot hear the sound of his feet, but when I feel him approaching me I turn round. I blink, there is no one there, yet I know he is there. He has stopped moving. Something has caught his interest, maybe because no one ever felt he was there.
"Loki?" I whisper.
There is no reply and all at once the sensation is gone, he is no longer there. Something like an ache burns deep inside of me. I want to run and find him, beg him not to leave again. See those pale eyes that I trusted and yet did not trust from the very beginning. I get up from the stool, but then sit back down again. I bite into an apple. He does not want me.
Mother is weeping when I say goodbye to her, she constantly wipes away her tears and holds me close to her, kissing me and making me promise I will write to her. Avedis and Gefion both hug me and say they will miss me, though I think Avedis is looking forward to being the oldest now. Father said very little to me, but he kissed my forehead and said he was proud of me. He even helped me mount my horse. Then he went to Odin and knelt before him.
"I have given you my daughter, my sword and my loyalty. I would beg of you, Odin King, and your son Loki Odinson, to protect and guide her, as I will protect and guide you."
Odin smiles, "Although this is a ritual and well said, you would never have to ask me such a thing. However, I do so swear it to you, Sigurd. I will protect your daughter and honour your fealty. Your daughter must pay obedience to me and her husband."
"I do so swear it, Odin King."
Odin smiles broadly, "Good. Now, let us ride."
The company laughs and I urge Sindri into a light trot, following everyone through the gate. I turn around in my saddle though, so I can see my family one last time, everyone I have grown up with and my family home. This is the last time I will see it.
"These will be your rooms, though of course they are connected by a passageway that leads from his room to yours." Frigga says to me, showing me around my new chambers. I have my privy chamber and then one beyond that, where I may sit with my handmaidens and entertain myself. Tyri was the only handmaiden from my home allowed to come with me, but I don't mind that, I know Tyri will be loyal to me and I need a friend in this place. I watch the servants move around us, putting my clothes in a chest, my jewellery in a small box on the table. I even have a desk, the dark wood polished till it shone like beaten bronze. My books are either placed on the desk or on the bookshelves. The rooms themselves are light and airy, but it is clear they partly belong to my husband, as well as myself; the small cushions, bed spread and hangings are all green in colour, sometimes with patterns and details sewn with gold or silver thread. The windows open onto balconies, where a strong breeze rushes through the room and makes the ghost white curtains dance.
"Do you like them?" Frigga says, "I designed them myself, though Loki also assisted with the designs."
"Loki did this for me?" I asked.
Frigga smiles gently, "He will want you to be seen as a princess of Asgard, therefore, you must have the rooms to match. Your clothing too."
I frown in puzzlement, "My mother has given me two new dresses." Not including my betrothal dress, my wedding dress and the nightgown – Magnhild gave me an accusatory look when it was given to her to repair – and there's nothing wrong with my other clothes. Frigga puts an unruly curl behind my ear.
"Some of your dresses are fitting enough, but it won't harm to have a few more."
"How many is a few?" I ask.
"Well at least four for court appearances and another one to match Loki's best outfit. The rest of your gowns are fitting for everyday use."
I blush, some of my dresses I picked are my best ones at home. The women wear their hair differently here too, now I feel my dress is unflattering, and childish with my hair swept down my back.
"Don't worry Sigyn, you'll look beautiful."
"Thank you, Lady-mother." I say, giving a curtsey. She smiles.
"Yes, I think this was a match well made." she murmurs as she goes towards the window, looking out on the view of Asgard, tall towers and walls rising into the air, the buildings shining like copper.
"Mother, could I speak with Sigyn?" Loki says, he walked into my chamber, removing his gloves and a determined look glinting in his eyes.
"Of course." Frigga smiles and goes to leave. Loki's eyes snap to the servants still bringing in my possessions and organising the room.
"Alone." He hisses. Only Tyri looks somewhat confused as all the other servants quickly drop what they are doing and leave the room, but she obeys after giving him and me a curtsey. Loki takes no notice of them, keeping his eyes completely focused on me. His gaze feels stifling and I lower my eyes. But he cups my face and brings my gaze level with his again.
"What are you?" he says.
"What am I?" I repeat, bewildered, "Sigyn, my lord. Daughter of Sigurd, wife to you."
A low whine of frustration slips between his lips, he pulls me close, his mouth finding mine and biting down on my lower lip. It stings a little, but I find myself wanting it. After he has tired of kissing and biting me, he turns me round and pushes me hard against a pillar; his teeth instantly seizing the skin behind my ear and make me moan. His hips press into me and I wriggle against him so I have a little more space, he gives a throaty groan and I can feel him grow harder. His hands grip painfully on my breasts and urge my nipples to harden under his fingers. I find myself gasping for air, trying to hold myself up with the pillar.
"You wear too many clothes." He rasps against my neck and I can feel his whole body, once clothed in the cool, hard leather, now bare against my skin and the silk of my dress. I push away from the column, the cold stone making me shiver. He near pulls me round, flings me down against the daybed, almost tearing my gown to get the material over my legs and then…Oh gods, I murmur. He breathes heavily against my cheek, barely moving, even when I shift my legs up around him to pull him in deeper. Loki's eyes are closed as though he is concentrating ferociously hard on something. I reach up tentatively and softly stroke his pale cheek, his eyes snapping open the moment my fingers graze against his cheek and then thrusting hard inside of me. My eyes roll back at the hot, delicious pain. But even when his pace quickens, his hand reaches down and finds the little bundle of nerves, making me cry out and lick and bite and scratch at his chest. I have a vague sense of how mother would be ashamed of me, to see me acting so and I wonder what the Queen would think of me. But he is bringing me closer and closer, so I can barely think. My toes curl tightly on the day bed, my body spasming against his, feeling him even more and holding him closer to me. His mouth covers my scream.
He lies on me for some time and then gets up, his clothes appearing again and running his hands through his hair. Loki glances down at me, my legs still apart, my cheeks and neck flushed, hair messy against the cushions. He helps me up, but avoids my eye as though he did something shameful. I long to reach out and touch him, to tell him he has full right to take me, I am his wife. But he merely stretches and bids me good day quickly. I go to my mirror, to brush back my hair and arrange my gown, but it is already done. My hair neatly held behind my hair with the shell-like clasps, my blue gown belted and hanging neatly down my body, with no creases or lines. It is only my lips that give away anything we had done, bitten to redness and a little swollen. I run a cool finger over my lips, shivering with pleasure as I remember everything he had done.
A/N: Ok, third time lucky!? Sorry about this everyone and my delay in posting.