Three more days. He only had three more days before the scheduled conference. Quatre's deadline for figuring out Heero's true motivations was fast approaching with no new information looming on the horizon. The last few days had been emotionally stressful for him since he still could come to no decision as to whether or not he should inform Relena of Heero's presence. It grated against his sensibilities as both a gentleman and a friend to even think of not forewarning her. After all, the woman had been waiting patiently, barely holding the heartbreak in check, for any sign of the man she was so stubbornly in love with for the last two years. Quatre already felt particularly miserable about the fact that he had not contacted her right away, but without knowing the level of Heero's interest Quatre was afraid she would be disappointed yet again. It did not help that his dreams of her reaction should she be caught unawares and the subsequent anger she would direct toward him plagued his mind almost nightly as his grace period of time dwindled. On the other hand, should Heero be indifferent to her feelings yet again Quatre knew he would never be able to forgive himself. Although the situation would not directly be his fault, it would feel like it was. He knew he would not be able to help blaming himself. Every time they managed to make a breakfast outing he would have to see the pain in her eyes, mirrored and magnified a thousandfold in his own heart.
That was not even the half of his internal battle either. Every time Quatre decided to delay contacting her, still unsure of whether it was a good idea or not, he also had to fight his own inner voice. The selfish one that kept whispering to him that he secretly wanted things to be platonic between Heero and Relena. He struggled to keep it from influencing him. It reminded him over and over again that even though Relena would be in pain, he, Quatre, would be there for comfort. A comfort that, in time, would give him the perfect opportunity to sweep Relena off her feet and make her his own. The first time this insidious voice had whispered inside of him Quatre had gasped aloud, completely aghast at himself. Physically cringing, Quatre had tried to silence the voice, mentally insisting that something so malicious could not possibly have come from his gentle and loving soul. It laughed at him for that. There was no escaping, no silencing, and no denying the voice. It was there. It made Quatre sick to think that he could feel so manipulative concerning the woman he loved and one of his close friends. It laughed at him for that too.
Indecision was highly unlike him. Half disgusted with himself, Quatre was glad that his work kept him so busy. When he was able to keep his mind on his work anyway. ' Maybe I should just call her and let her know and let fate control what happens next. I do know one thing, if I don't call her she will be surprised and distracted when she needs to be able to concentrate on this conference. By asking for the complete disbandment of all firearms and mobile suits in favor of non-lethal police issue only armaments the economy has suffered a huge blow. Colonies L1 and L2 may never recover without some viable mass income employment alternative. I'm not even positive that Heero would reject her feelings again. So what am I worrying over this so much for? Maybe if he would just ask, or if I could pick up even the slightest amount of curiosity from him...' Quatre gave an aggrieved little sigh. His lunch try suddenly disappeared from under his nose and he blinked owlishly for a moment before realizing what had happened. His new bodyguard had apparently mistaken his sigh to be annoyance at the 'offending' tray.
Looking up, Quatre considered Heero's retreating back. He could not complain about the other man's presence. Heero was a remarkably discreet and efficient bodyguard, not that Quatre had not expected that. It was almost scary how well Heero performed his job. There were whole stretches of time that Quatre forgot Heero was even in the room with him and this fact did not owe to Quatre being distracted or busy but Heero himself. The man managed to blend into the scenery while standing in plain sight, so quiet one could not even hear him breathe, looking to all the world like he was taking a nap propped against the wall. Heero would stay like that, motionless, for hours until someone knocked on Quatre's office door or something needed to be taken care of such as the lunch tray. During business meetings with staff or prospective investors Heero would stand slightly to the left and a couple steps behind Quatre but moved with such stealth that Quatre often had to check the urge to turn his head just to make sure Heero was actually there. Not to mention the times Heero really would disappear to check and make sure there were no potential threats in a hotel lobby or restaurant where Quatre was attending one meeting or another only to reappear as unnoticed as he had left. The only reason Quatre could tell Heero had gone at all was he would suddenly feel the absence of Heero's presence. It was like being guarded by a ghost that was visible only when caught at the edge of one's peripheral vision unless one was actively staring straight at it.
Quatre watched as Heero returned from getting rid of the remains of their lunches and took up his normal position against the left wall. Heero crossed his arms, lowered his head and proceeded to look like he was asleep. 'Now or never. This has to stop.' Quatre cleared his throat a little nervously before addressing his bodyguard.
"Heero, I need to speak with you...concerning Miss Relena."
Simply opening his eyes to look directly into Quatre's, Heero waited while Quatre gathered his thoughts before continuing. "I expect you know that she's going to be at the upcoming conference in three days. And I expect you know that she's been wondering where you've been these last couple of years. She asks about you often when I see her. You must know how she feels, and I was just wondering if...well, I wanted to be able to call her and let her know that you're back since she's been so worried."
Heero just continued to stare at Quatre, offering no opinion or suggestion. Not understanding what this could mean he waited for something, anything, to come out of the Japanese man's mouth. When nothing did Quatre was forced to explain his desire further.
"I haven't yet because I wasn't sure how you felt about it. You realize she's going to want to see you and she'll probably have some questions. I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position, but I also don't want to just show up at the conference and surprise her. She really has been very worried. So have the rest of us for that matter so...I was just wondering what I should do and whether or not there's anything you'd like to talk to me about."
"You should get back to work."
With that short statement the conversation was apparently done since Heero turned his gaze away from Quatre and resumed his duties. Quatre himself was fighting a noticeable twitch that had developed in his eye from pure annoyance. Not only did Quatre not learn anything to help aid his decision, but he had felt nothing. Absolutely nothing had wafted through the breeze and into his heart to give him a clue as to what Heero was truly feeling. Quite the opposite. Only machines feel nothing. Heero might have been known as the perfect soldier, but he had a heart and the emotions to go with it. He bled and broke bones therefore Heero was definitely human. There was just no way Quatre was going to accept that Heero felt nothing, not even indifference toward Relena. ' He wouldn't have admitted to being or performed as her unofficial bodyguard if he didn't care one way or another. There's gotta be something there. What happened to him to make him so cold and hard? Something has changed him.' Quatre experienced a painful squeeze of his soul as he speculated about what horrible thing could have happened since the last time he had seen Heero to cause such a terrible withdrawal of his already introverted friend. Heero might be close-mouthed, but if asked he would usually share some sort of opinion if he had one. Concern clawed sharply at Quatre's mind as he once again gazed at his new bodyguard. ' Wrong, something wrong. He's never been this bad. Allah...'
The rest of the day was completely uneventful. Heero did not speak to him again and Quatre left him to his silence. His growing concern over Heero was most certainly unwelcome and so would change nothing if brought up again. Quatre's stomach churned with a physical manifestation of his inner anxiety. The short conversation had firmed his belief that should she find out about Heero's presence it would only cause momentary joy followed quickly by lasting pain. Unwilling to subject his love to this until absolutely necessary, Quatre finally came to a decision. He resolved that he would call Relena but not until right before the conference. Quatre would give her a few hours to prepare herself before seeing him and Heero at the conference. Afterwords she would probably want to talk with Heero and Quatre would give them their privacy. This was the most he could do for her, from there it would be up to fate and luck. Quatre refused to acknowledge the voice inside him that, whispering, always whispering, reminded him again that secretly he wanted both fate and luck to be against Relena. It laughed at him.
a/n: sorry about how long this took. I've been very busy and my internet was on the fritz. I'm posting it as soon as possible. sorry again.