A/N-YAY for fast updates. I can promise the next chapter up tomorrow since I'll be home at 9 in the morning from school...god bless finals.-dances-Anyways, I realized that Toby needed some bonding time with that voice in his head and therefore this chapter was born...although to be honest, I was planning on having Toby and his voice have one-on-one time in this chapter from the start. So plot is beginning to pick up and you get a little more insight on Toby...and the voice. Enjoy!
Disclaimer-I don't own Sweeney Todd or the song I named the chapter after(Within Temptation's 'What Have You Done'). I do, however, own the soundtrack, a hoodie(that I'm wearing again...Houston is freezing right now),and a shirt. I also own the plot, Elizabeth, Alex, John, and that really awesome voice in Toby's head...that voice does have a name now, but you have to read to find out what it is.
What Have You Done
Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Toby paced along the window overlooking Fleet Street, his mind void of all thoughts. It had happened again.
His body still shook from the dream; sweat still clung to his even paler skin. It was nights like this that made him dread sleep.
'Wot comfort do you find in pacing like a caged animal?'
'Not now, Daniel.' They (Toby and the voice) had decided on Daniel for the voice's name, it was the longest five minutes of Toby's life.
'You might as well keep a cot up 'ere, as many nights you end falling asleep right 'ere on the floor.' Daniel pointed out, Toby still pacing. 'Pacing's not gonna make it go away, Toby.'
'I know.' Toby sighed, turning to look down on the empty street.
'Wot 'appened this time?'
'Same as always, innit? I watch Mrs.Lovett die, watch myself kill Mr.T, then I end up dyin' one way or another.' He moved to sit in the elegant barber's chair, his dark eyes staring at the floor boards.
There was silence for a while; Toby's racing pulse slowing down. He took a deep calming breath as he leaned back into the chair, images from his dream flashing before him.
'There can only be one real reason why yer 'aving those dreams, Toby.' He could hear the sneer in Daniel's voice.
'Wot?'
'Yer no better then 'im, Toby.' Even the voice was snide, it made Toby sick. 'Yer just as much to blame for their deaths as 'e is.'
'No I ain't,' he defended, gripping the chair's arms.
'You 'ad the chance to stop 'em. The Judge and the Beadle were standin' right in front of ya that night!' Toby felt his anger boiling as he thought the words over. 'You 'ad the chance to tell 'em of yer suspicions, but no. Instead you come back 'ere and told Mrs.Lovett, and wot 'appened after that Toby? Oh, that's right...SHE LOCKED YOU IN THE BAKE HOUSE! Cos of you, four people are dead, Toby. Four innocent people,'
'No.'
'Yer the reason the Beadle, the Judge, that ol' beggar woman, and Mrs.Lovett are DEAD.' Daniel continued, almost as if he was gloating. 'You could 'ave protected 'er like you promised. But you didn't do the right thing...yer a coward.'
'Stop it...' Toby felt the tears collect in his eyes.
'Why? Afraid the truth, are you? You didn't tell the police about Mr.Todd when they were right there, you ran back 'ere and stood by while everything went to shit. No one made you keep your mouth shut, Toby. No one threatened to kill you...there was nothing stopping you from 'elping 'em. For once, you should 'ave put aside yer naïve thoughts of the future to do the right thing.' Toby was shaking his head as the tears stung his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He hadn't counted on Mr.Todd actually do anything, he had dismissed his suspicions as silly thoughts...it wasn't his fault. 'You could've save 'er, Toby. Mr.T would've been killed or sent to Australia for life; either way Mrs.Lovett would still 'ave been 'ere. You could've stopped it from 'appening, could've saved innocent people from dying before their time. You're just like 'im, Tobias.'
"SHUT UP!" he yelled, holding his head as he looked at the broken mirror in the corner, he could have sworn his own reflection was mocking him. "I am nothing like Mr.Todd."
'Who are you tryin' to convince? Me or yerself?' Daniel asked as Toby stood up again. 'If you ain't like 'im then, why do you do so many things 'e did?'
'You're imagining things, Daniel.'
'Am I? Or are you that blind you can't see the obvious?' the voice replied as Toby began pacing again. 'You need to let go, Tobias.'
'I 'ave let go, I did that long ago. You're a bit late on that, mate.'
'Really? Then why do you think about 'em?'
'They're my family,' Toby reminded. 'I can't forget 'em like that. They don't deserve that,'
'But Mrs.Lovett deserved to be murdered by the man she loved? Mr.Todd deserved to be murdered by the 10 year old boy who was too afraid of losing 'is family'
'It's not like that,'
'Who are tryin' to fool anyways? Everyone knows 'e was a murderer, and yet you walk round like 'e did nothing wrong. Why is it when yer all alone that you can finally admit 'ow much you 'ate 'im for wot 'e did to you?' Daniel wouldn't let the topic drop. ''ow do you live with yerself knowing that you consider a murderer yer father? Even after killing Mrs.Lovett you still think of 'im as yer father? No one's fooled by it, so why are you still tryin' to fool 'em?'
Toby didn't answer. He was tired of people asking him that question, they didn't get it. He wanted to tell them that's what happens whenever someone grows up without a family; he wanted to tell them that when an orphan gets the chance (however brief) to live with two people who treat him like their son (even if it was rare for Mr.Todd to do so), you tend to forgive them for anything bad they did. And it was only because you don't want to admit that the one real family you had was pretty much a lie. But instead he always kept quite and just looked at whoever had asked him, knowing they wouldn't understand. It was something he had gotten use to, having no one who understood why he still considered the dead barber and dead baker his parents.
Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Just like his thoughts and feelings. Back and forth. It was as if every time he began to forgive Mr.Todd, something would remind of Mrs.Lovett's murder. Back and forth. One minute he was thinking of the life he could have had them and then the next, he was remembering the harsh reality of the present. Back and forth. Just like his pacing footsteps. Back and forth.
'I ain't like Mr.T.' Toby told himself as he paced.
'Then why do you do what 'e did? You pace like 'im, you shut out the world like 'im, yer even a barber like 'im...' Daniel pointed out.
'I ain't like 'im.'
'But you are, Tobias.'
'I ain't!'
'Keep tellin' yerself that, Tobias.' It was silent finally and Toby's mind was void of all thoughts again.
Back and forth. That seemed to be the only Toby ever went.
Back and forth.
So...what did you guys think of that? What do you think of Daniel? Where do you think this story is heading? Why do you think I'm saying this all out loud to my empty house while listening to Sugar Ray in that really weird, deep, mysterious voice? Anyways, drop me a review...and if you don't...I may have to go all Sweeney Todd on you guys. Or I'll just send Lil' Todd to do my dirty work...yes I have a mini-Sweeney Todd(not really, but we can pretend). And if you review, you get one of Mrs.Lovett's meat pies...now don't give me that look, they're delicious. Really!
Anyways...review or no meat pie for you...or I'll pull a Mr.Todd.
S.M.Hoffman