Violet, Klaus, and Duncan sadly walked off to the cafeteria for breakfast to tell Isadora and Sunny about their failed attempt at exposing Coach Genghis. The masked cafeteria workers served them runny fried eggs, but no silverware. They went to their table with their heads, and spirits, down.
"Oh, don't worry about that," Isadora said when they slid glumly into their seats. "Here, Klaus and I will take turns with my silverware, and you two can share Sunny's, Violet and Duncan. I told the lunch ladies I dropped mine, and they surprisingly let me have another. Tell us how everything went in Nero's office."
Duncan glared up at her sister. How dare she suggest she and Klaus share silverware? Sharing... saliva. He was about to object, but then he remembered that his and Klaus's "relationship", if that's what it was, wasn't exactly known to their sisters yet. So, Duncan kept his mouth shut, but winced every time either Klaus or Isadora took a bite.
"It didn't go very well," Violet admitted. "Coach Genghis got there right after we did, and we didn't want him to see that we knew who he really was."
Isadora pulled her notebook out of her pocket and read out loud to her friends.
"It would be a stroke of luck, if Coach Genghis were hit by a truck," she read. "That's my latest poem. I know it's not that helpful, but I thought you might like to hear it anyway."
"I did like hearing it," Klaus said. Isadora beamed. "And it certainly would be a stroke of luck if that happened. But I wouldn't bet on it."
"Well, we'll think of another plan," Duncan said, handing Violet his fork with emphasis.
"I hope so," Violet said, her voice shaking from almost being stabbed in the eye with the fork. "Count Olaf doesn't usually wait very long to put his evil schemes into action."
"Kosbal!" Sunny shrieked.
"Does Sunny mean 'I have a plan'?" Isadora asked. "I'm trying to get the hang of her way of talking."
"I think she means something more like 'Here comes Carmelita Spats'," Klaus said, pointing across the cafeteria. Sure enough, Carmelita Spats was walking toward their table with a big, smug smile on her face.
"Hello, you cakesniffers," she said. "I have a message for you from Coach Genghis. I get to be his Special Messenger because I'm the cutest, prettiest, nicest girl in the whole school."
"Oh, stop bragging, Carmelita," Duncan said.
"You're just jealous," Carmelita replied, "because Coach Genghis likes me best instead of you."
"I couldn't care less about Coach Genghis," Duncan said. "Just deliver your message and leave us alone."
"The message is this," Carmelita said. "The three Baudelaire orphans are to report to the front lawn tonight, immediately after dinner."
"After dinner?" Violet said. "But after dinner we're supposed to go to Nero's violin recital."
"That's the message," Carmelita insisted. Without another word, she pranced off.
"Well this shouldn't be much of a problem," Isadora stated indifferently. "You can just do what Klaus and Duncan do every night, and leave through the back door." The boy's faces flashed bright red, and were shocked.
"What?" Violet asked. "You two don't honestly think that we haven't noticed you both sneaking off, do you?"
"What have you two been up to, anyways?" Isadora asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Just getting away from Nero's violin is all," Duncan said with a cough.
"Yes, his music really is dreadful," Klaus said. Duncan nodded.
"We couldn't take it anymore," he said.
"Thanks for inviting us, I guess," Violet said.
"Nero would have noticed if all of us went," Isadora said, giving Duncan the we need to talk, look.
"So, problem solved. You three can leave through the back door, and come back before Nero notices you're gone," Duncan said nervously.
"We'll hide behind a nearby building and keep an eye out for you, and come if there seems to be any serious trouble," Isadora added.
Violet was about to suggest that maybe it would be safer if they fetched an adult if there was any serious trouble, but the employees probably would rather stay in the auditorium than risk having to buy Nero candy. But still, she'd feel extremely guilty if any of her friends got hurt because they were trying to protect her and her siblings.
"If you can, try to get one of the teachers to help. I don't want either of you to get hurt," she said.
"You and I both know they wouldn't help," Isadora replied.
"And we're not completely weak," Duncan said, giving Klaus a wink.
Klaus was about to giggle, but instead said, "What if he tries to kidnap us right there and then?" he asked.
"I doubt it. Olaf's too clever for that," Violet said.
"Let's not worry too much," Duncan said with optimism. His friends sighed. Sometimes Duncan's bright tone was a bit tiresome. The cafeteria was almost empty, so the teens, and Sunny, took up their trays and left as well.
"You guys go ahead to the shack. Duncan and I need to study privately," Isadora said. Klaus's eyes searched for Duncan's, so that he can give him some comfort, but Duncan was staring at his shoes with worry.
"We'll meet up later then," Klaus replied, still looking at Duncan. Violet and Sunny agreed by smiling with a nod, and the Baudelaires walked off.
Isadora grabbed Duncan's arm and half lead, half dragged, him to the girls' dormitories. It was a very clean building, not unlike the boys', but had a mango scent. In Isadora's dorm, it seemed even more clean, if that was possible. She sat down on a round, dark red chair. Duncan just stood awkwardly, waiting for the questions to come.
"Go and sit," Isadora instructed. "We'll be here for a while." Duncan slowly walked over to the round, dark blue chair, and sat down. "Firstly, I want to know where you and Klaus sneak off to."
"It's not as suspicious as you think," Duncan said.
"Answer the question."
"We just sit outside the auditorium. One time we went to the cafeteria kitchen to get the salt for the fungus on the shack's ceiling. Another time, we went to the library. Is that so terrible?" Isadora was disappointed. She wasn't going to give up easily, though. Something was going on. She could feel it.
"Then why did you glare at me earlier, when Klaus and I shared silverware?" Duncan's eyes widened.
"I'm just worried about his health. Sharing silverware means sharing germs, you know. Don't think I didn't hear you coughing last night," he said.
"Carmelita made me eat cinnamon candy, which you know I'm allergic to!" Isadora became furious. "Just admit it, already! I know, okay? Quigley and I both." Duncan glared at his sister.
"Admit what, exactly? And don't you dare bring Quigley into this," he said, almost choking on the lump in his throat when he mentioned his dead brother.
"You're a homosexual, and you're trying to steal Klaus away from me!"
"He was never yours to begin with," Duncan argued, knowing that denying the first part of Isadora's claim was pointless.
"I told you! That first day, before Nero's stupid concert. I told you I liked him, but you just go ahead and try to snatch him anyway." Duncan paused and he realized his sister was right. He flashed back to the first concert he went to with the Baudelaires. The arm grabbing, the confusion, and most of all the jealousy. The whole point of trying to convince Klaus to sneak out was to get him away from Isadora, and it was completely unfair.
"Isadora... I'm so sorry," Duncan said, and went back to looking at his shoes. "I never thought I had a chance with him, if that makes you feel any better."
"I'm mostly upset that you didn't tell me," Isadora sighed.
"Why would you want to know?" Isadora blushed.
"Well I haven't been asking girls what they think of you, if that's what you're wondering," she trailed off, shyly.
"You've been doing what!" Duncan raged.
"Some girls are quite fond of you," Isadora defended. Duncan exhaled loudly. "But let's make light of the situation. With everything that's going on, it's best that we don't fight. You can have him." Isadora smiled. Duncan looked up, surprised.
"But-"
"No buts. You deserve him. Sure, he's one of a kind, but I can find someone else." She got up from her chair and walked towards the door, but stopped at Duncan's ear.
"Besides, I think he fancies you, too," she whispered. She smiled as she walked out the door, leaving a red-faced Duncan behind.
"Is there something going on between you and Duncan?"
Inside the shack, Violet and Sunny stared daggers at their brother. Klaus hesitated at Violet's question. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"Sneaking off together, defensive remarks, flirtatious looks..." Violet listed off.
Klaus blushed. "We told you, we just wanted to get away from that wretched violin."
"What about being incredibly defensive when Carmelita says something rude about one of you two, or when we asked about you two at breakfast, or how you're acting now?" Sunny just watched them, her head moving back and forth, as if she was watching a tennis match.
"Sticking up for each other is what friends do, Violet. And the conversation makes us uncomfortable. I don't how it couldn't. What if I accused you and Isadora of things?" It was Violet's turn to blush.
"Okay, calm down. I'm just asking. I don't normally wink suggestively at my friends."
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize our lives are normal."
"Luef," Sunny said, which meant something like, "Burn."
Klaus glanced at her before he said, "I'm going outside for a bit before the concert. If you have any more questions, I'd prefer if you kept them to yourself." And with that last word, Klaus stormed out. He wanted to find Duncan, but they never showed him where either of their dorms are. He was still upset with Violet, so he went towards the dormitories anyway. A figure walked in his direction, and he saw it was Isadora.
"Where's Duncan?" he asked her.
"In my dorm, third door on the left from the game room," she answered with a smile. Klaus thanked her, and went to the girls' dormitories.
Duncan was sitting on a small and round dark blue chair. His eyes were bulging a little, and never blinking.
"Duncan...?" Klaus said slowly. Duncan shook his head, and looked up at Klaus.
"Oh. Hello," he said.
"How was the studying?" Klaus went over to sit on the red chair.
"Isadora asked about you and me," Duncan said, not meeting Klaus's eyes.
"Violet did the same. I can't believe them. Don't they know to respect one's privacy?"
"You can't blame them for being curious. We haven't exactly given them a reason not to."
"There isn't anything going on, though." Klaus paused. "Is there?" If Duncan wasn't avoiding looking at Klaus he certainly was now.
"I don't know," he said. "It depends on how you feel, I suppose."
"There's only one way to know for sure." Klaus got up slowly from the chair, walked over to Duncan, and crouched down beside him. Duncan still tried to avoid Klaus's striking eyes, but Klaus moved his chin towards his, and gradually moved in for the kill.
"Wait!" Duncan said.
"What?" Klaus asked, a little disappointed. He gathered a lot of courage for this, and he wasn't just going to stop.
"Should we really be doing this? I mean, with Olaf plotting evil schemes, shouldn't we put our energy in something that'll help us bring him down? I don't want things to be more complicated than they already are."
"Duncan, nothing could make things more complicated than they already are. What harm could this do?"
Duncan's eyelids became watery. "It'll be harder to chin up if... if Olaf succeeds."
Klaus took both of Duncan's hands, and said, "Then I guess we'll just have to make sure he doesn't." Before Duncan could say anything back, Klaus kissed him with as much force and passion as he could. After what seemed to be an eternity, they broke apart. Klaus's smile let Duncan know that Klaus had felt the same spark as he did.
After an unfortunately short day, the last rays of sunlight barely shone over the school grounds as the five headed towards the auditorium.
"Just relax," Duncan reminded the Baudelaires. "The thing Olaf wants is fear."
"And our fortune," Klaus said glumly.
"That, too, but we won't let him have that either." Duncan smiled at his boyfriend, trying to cheer him up, but stopped when he saw Isadora smirking at him. He wasn't exactly ready for his sister to find out about this recent get-together. They made their way to the back of the auditorium, taking their usual seats, readying themselves to leave. Duncan gave Klaus's hand a small squeeze before the five left. Klaus put on a grateful smile, and left with his sisters. They walked in silence to the front lawn, braving themselves for whatever was to come. The eerie shadow of Count Olaf would've made Voldemort shudder.
"You're late," Genghis said in his scratchy voice. He had both hands behind his back as if he were hiding something. "Your instructions were to be here right after dinner, and you're late."
"We're very sorry," Violet said, craning her neck to try and catch a glimpse of what was behind his back. "It took us a little longer to eat our dinner without silverware."
"If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends."
"We never thought of that," Klaus said. He remembered how at dinner, Duncan was quick to suggest that they share silverware, instead of him and Isadora. He would have smiled at the memory if the man that starred in his nightmares wasn't standing in front of him. "You certainly are an intelligent man," he continued.
"Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart. Now, let's get right to work. Even stupid children like yourselves should remember what I said about orphans having excellent bone structure for running. That's why you are about to do Special Orphan Running Exercises, or S.O.R.E. for short."
"Ooladu!" Sunny shrieked.
"My sister means that sounds exciting," Violet said, although "Ooladu!" actually meant "I wish you'd tell us what you're really up to, Genghis."
"I'm glad you're so enthusiastic," Genghis said. "In certain cases, enthusiasm can make up for a lack of brainpower." He took his hands from behind his back, and the children saw that he was holding a large metal can and a long, prickly brush. The can was open, and an spooky white glow was shining out of the top. "Now, before we begin S.O.R.E., we'll need a track. This is luminous paint, which means it glows in the dark."
"How interesting," Klaus said, although he'd known what the word "luminous" means since elementary school.
"Well, if you find it so interesting," Genghis said, his eyes looking as luminous as the paint,"you can be in charge of the brush. Here." He thrusted the long, prickly brush into Klaus's hands. "And you little girls can hold the paint can. I want you to paint a big circle on the grass so you can see where you are running when you start your laps. Go on, what are you waiting for?"
Wondering what Olaf/Genghis was up to, they obeyed orders, with Klaus painting, Violet carrying the can, and Sunny just crawling along for moral support. "Bigger!" Genghis called out in the dark. "Wider!" The Baudelaires followed his instructions and made the circle bigger and wider, walking farther away from Genghis and leaving a glowing trail of paint.
"I apologize for how I acted before," Klaus said to Violet, when they were far enough away from Genghis to be heard. "I shouldn't have snapped."
"I forgive you. I also apologize. It isn't any of my business, and I shouldn't have persisted the questions like I did."
"Bigger! Wider! All right, all right, that's big and wide enough! Finish the circle where I am standing! Hurry up!" Genghis called out to them.
"What do you think we're really doing?" Violet whispered to her brother.
"I don't know," Klaus said. "I've only read three or four books on paint. I know that paint can sometimes be poisonous or cause birth defects. But Genghis isn't making us eat the circle, and as far as I know, you're not pregnant, so I can't imagine."
Sunny wanted to add "Gargaba!" which meant "Maybe the luminous paint is serving as some sort of glowing signal," but the Baudelaires had come full circle and were too close to Genghis to do any more talking.
"I suppose that will do, orphans," Genghis said, snatching the brush and the can of paint out of their hands. "Now, take your marks, and when I blow my whistle, begin running around the circle you've made until I tell you to stop."
"What?" Violet said. She couldn't believe that Genghis was simply going to make them run laps. He was such a sneaky and revolting person that the eldest Baudelaire simply could not accept that his scheme was only as evil as the average gym class.
"What?" Genghis repeated in a mocking Nero-like way. "I know you heard me, little orphan girl. You're standing right next to me. Now take your marks, all of you, and begin running as soon as I blow my whistle."
"But Sunny is a baby," Klaus protested. "She can't really run."
"Then she may crawl as fast as she can," Genghis replied. "Now—on your marks, get set, go!" Genghis blew his whistle and the Baudelaire orphans began to run, pacing themselves so they could run together even though they had different-sized legs. The Baudelaires also looked at one another from time to time, but they didn't speak, not even when they were far enough away from Genghis that he could not overhear. One reason they did not speak was to conserve energy, because although the Baudelaires were in reasonably good shape, they had not run so many laps in their lives, and before too long they were breathing too hard to really discuss anything. But the other reason they did not speak was that Violet had already spoken for them when she had asked "What?" The Baudelaire orphans kept running around the glowing circle while Genghis kept blowing his whistle until the first rays of sunrise began to reflect on the jewel in Genghis's turban, and all they could think was What? What? What?
"What?" Isadora asked.
"I said, 'Finally, as the sun rose, Coach Genghis had us stop running laps and let us go to bed,'" Klaus said.
"My sister didn't mean that she didn't hear you," Duncan explained. "She meant that she heard you, but she didn't believe that's really what you meant. And to tell you the truth, I can barely believe it myself, even though I saw it with my own eyes."
"I can't believe it either," Violet said, wincing as she took a bite of the salad that was served for lunch. It was the next afternoon, and all three Baudelaire orphans were doing a great deal of wincing. No matter what look Isadora would shoot him, Duncan very gently took Klaus's hand, afraid that the soreness had spread even there.
"I thought maybe the luminous circle would serve as a landing strip," Isadora said, "for a helicopter, piloted by one of his assistants, to swoop down and take you away. The only thing I couldn't figure out was why you had to run all those laps before the helicopter showed up."
"But a helicopter didn't show up," Klaus said, taking a sip of water and wincing. "Nothing showed up."
"Maybe the pilot got lost," Isadora said. "Or maybe Coach Genghis became as tired as you did, and forgot to ask for your fortune."
Klaus shook his sore head. "He would never get too tired to get our fortune," he said. "He's up to something, that much is for sure, but I just can't figure out what it is."
"Of course you can't figure it out," Duncan said. "You're exhausted. I'm glad Isadora and I thought of spying in shifts. We're going to use all our spare time from now on to investigate. We'll go through all of our notes, and do some more research in the library. There must be something that can help us figure it out."
"I'll do research, too," Klaus said, yawning, but smiling at Duncan. "I'm quite good at it."
"I know you are," Duncan said, smiling and squeezing Klaus's hand. "But not today, honey. We'll work on uncovering Genghis's plan, and you three can catch up on your sleep. You're too tired to do much good in a library or anywhere else." Klaus nodded.
"Perhaps you're right," Klaus said. "We'll stumble through the afternoon somehow and get a good night's sleep tonight. If we're lucky, Vice Principal Nero will play something enthusiastically at tonight's concert and we can sneak out to sleep through that as well."
"Ugh," Isadora groaned, "here comes Carmelita."
"Hello, you cakesniffers," said the irritating girl. She looked at Sunny, fast asleep on a plate of lettuce. "Although judging from the baby brat you're more like saladsniffers. I have another message for you from Coach Genghis. I get to be his Special Messenger because I'm the cutest, prettiest, nicest little girl in the whole school."
"If you were really the nicest person in the whole school," Duncan said, "you wouldn't make fun of a sleeping infant. But never mind, what is the message?"
"It's actually the same one as last time," Carmelita said, "but I'll repeat it in case you're too stupid to remember. The three Baudelaire orphans are to report to the front lawn tonight, immediately after dinner."
"What?" Klaus asked.
"Are you deaf as well as cakesniffy?" Carmelita asked. "I said—"
"Yes, yes, Klaus heard you," Duncan said quickly. "He didn't mean that kind of 'What?' We have received the message, Carmelita. Now please go away."
"That's two tips you owe me," Carmelita said, but she flounced off.
"I can't believe it," Violet said. "Not more laps! My legs are almost too sore to walk, let alone run."
"Carmelita didn't say anything about more laps," Isadora pointed out. "Maybe Coach Genghis is putting his real plan into action tonight. In any case, we'll sneak out of the recital again and keep an eye on you."
"In shifts," Duncan added, nodding in agreement. "And I bet we'll have a clear picture of his plan by then. We have the rest of the day to do research. " Isadora flipped open her black notebook to the right page. She read,
"Don't worry Baudelaires, don't feel disgrace—
The Quagmire triplets are on the case."
"Thank you," Klaus said, giving Isadora and Duncan a tired smile of appreciation. "My sisters and I are thankful for all your help. And we're going to put our minds to the problem, even though we're too exhausted to do research. If we're lucky, all of us working together can defeat Coach Genghis."
Klaus sighed as he put his head on the table, knowing that him and his sisters were anything but lucky.
A/N: I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and happy New Year! I also hope you like the new chapter. :3 Goodbye for now, and remember, reviews make unicorns sparkle!